"I intend to."
Something in his resolute tone made Jo look up quickly to discover him looking down at her with an expression that confident her the scary second had come, and made her put out her hand with an imploring, "No, Teddy. Please do not!"
"I will, and also you ought to hear me. It's little need, Jo, we've got to have it out, and the earlier the higher for each folks," he spoke back, getting flushed and excited all at once.
"Say what you like then. I'll concentrate," stated Jo, with a desperate type of staying power.
Laurie changed into a younger lover, however he was in earnest, and supposed to 'have it out', if he died inside the try, so he plunged into the difficulty with function impetuousity, saying in a voice that might get choky now and then, notwithstanding manful efforts to preserve it steady...
"I've cherished you ever when you consider that I've recognised you, Jo, couldn't help it, you have been so good to me. I've attempted to show it, but you would not permit me. Now I'm going to make you hear, and deliver me a solution, for I can't move on so any longer."
"I desired to save you this. I thought you would apprehend..." commenced Jo, finding it a amazing deal more difficult than she expected.
"I recognize you probably did, however the girls are so queer you in no way realize what they imply. They say no once they mean yes, and power a person out of his wits just for the a laugh of it," returned Laurie, entrenching himself in the back of an undeniable reality.
"I do not. I in no way desired to make you take care of me so, and I went away to preserve you from it if I may want to."
"I idea so. It changed into such as you, however it become little need. I handiest loved you all of the more, and I labored difficult to thrill you, and I gave up billiards and the whole lot you did not like, and waited and never complained, for I hoped you'd love me, even though I'm no longer half precise sufficient..." Here there was a choke that couldn't be managed, so he decapitated buttercups whilst he cleared his 'confounded throat'.
"You, you are, you are a wonderful deal too proper for me, and I'm so thankful to you, and so proud and keen on you, I don't know why I can't love you as you want me to. I've attempted, however I cannot alternate the feeling, and it might be a lie to say I do when I do not."
"Really, honestly, Jo?"
He stopped brief, and stuck each her palms as he placed his question with a look that she did not soon forget about.
"Really, definitely, expensive."
They have been in the grove now, nearby the stile, and when the ultimate phrases fell reluctantly from Jo's lips, Laurie dropped her arms and turned as if to go on, but for as soon as in his existence the fence turned into too much for him. So he simply laid his head down on the mossy put up, and stood so still that Jo was apprehensive.
"Oh, Teddy, I'm sorry, so desperately sorry, I should kill myself if it would do any properly! I want you would not take it so tough, I can't help it. You understand it's not possible for human beings to make themselves love other human beings if they don't," cried Jo inelegantly but remorsefully, as she softly patted his shoulder, remembering the time when he had comforted her see you later ago.
"They do now and again," said a muffled voice from the post. "I do not agree with it is the proper kind of love, and I'd alternatively no longer try it," become the determined answer.
There changed into a long pause, even as a blackbird sung blithely at the willow with the aid of the river, and the tall grass rustled within the wind. Presently Jo said very soberly, as she sat down on the step of the stile, "Laurie, I need to tell you some thing."
He commenced as though he had been shot, threw up his head, and cried out in a fierce tone, "Don't tell me that, Jo, I can't undergo it now!"
"Tell what?" she asked, questioning at his violence.
"That you love that old guy."
"What antique guy?" demanded Jo, thinking he need to imply his grandfather.
"That devilish Professor you were usually writing approximately. If you assert you adore him, I understand I shall do something desperate;" and he regarded as if he might keep his phrase, as he clenched his palms with a wrathful spark in his eyes.
Jo wanted to snigger, however limited herself and stated warmly, for she too, was getting excited with all this, "Don't swear, Teddy! He is not antique, nor whatever terrible, however appropriate and type, and the exceptional pal I've were given, subsequent to you. Pray, don't fly right into a passion. I want to be type, but I understand I shall get angry if you abuse my Professor. I have not the least concept of loving him or every body else."
"But you will after a while, and then what becomes of me?"
"You'll love a person else too, like a practical boy, and forget about all this hassle."
"I can not love anybody else, and I'll in no way forget about you, Jo, Never! Never!" with a stamp to emphasize his passionate phrases.
"What shall I do with him?" sighed Jo, finding that emotions had been more unmanagable than she expected. "You haven't heard what I wanted to tell you. Sit down and listen, for certainly I want to do right and make you glad," she said, hoping to soothe him with a bit reason, which proved that she knew not anything about love.
Seeing a ray of hope in that last speech, Laurie threw himself down at the grass at her toes, leaned his arm on the decrease step of the stile, and appeared up at her with an expectant face. Now that association turned into no longer conducive to calm speech or clear notion on Jo's element, for a way may want to she say tough things to her boy even as he watched her with eyes full of love and longing, and lashes nevertheless wet with the sour drop or two her hardness of coronary heart had wrung from him? She lightly turned his head away, pronouncing, as she stroked the wavy hair which had been allowed to develop for her sake—how touching that become, to be sure! "I trust Mother which you and I are not ideal to each other, because our quick tempers and strong wills could probably make us very miserable, if we had been so silly as to..." Jo paused a bit over the last phrase, however Laurie uttered it with a rapturous expression.
"Marry—no we shouldn't! If you cherished me, Jo, I ought to be a super saint, for you may make me whatever you like."
"No, I can not. I've attempted and failed, and I may not risk our happiness with the aid of such a severe experiment. We don't agree and we by no means shall, so we'll be right pals all our lives, but we might not cross and do some thing rash."
"Yes, we are able to if we get the threat," muttered Laurie rebelliously.
"Now do be reasonable, and take a realistic view of the case," implored Jo, nearly at her wit's quit.
"I won't be affordable. I do not want to take what you name 'a realistic view'. It won't assist me, and it most effective makes it more difficult. I don't agree with you've got any coronary heart."
"I want I hadn't."
There turned into a bit quiver in Jo's voice, and thinking it an amazing omen, Laurie turned spherical, bringing all his persuasive powers to endure as he stated, within the wheedlesome tone that had never been so dangerously wheedlesome before, "Don't disappoint us, dear! Everyone expects it. Grandpa has set his coronary heart upon it, your people find it irresistible, and I cannot get on without you. Say you may, and let's be satisfied. Do, do!"
Not till months later on did Jo apprehend how she had the electricity of mind to keep rapid to the resolution she had made while she decided that she did not love her boy, and in no way should. It turned into very hard to do, however she did it, understanding that put off changed into each useless and cruel.
"I can't say 'sure' truely, so I may not say it at all. You'll see that I'm proper, by using-and-via, and thank me for it..." she started out solemnly.
"I'll be hanged if I do!" and Laurie bounced up off the grass, burning with indignation on the very idea.
"Yes, you'll!" persisted Jo. "You'll get over this after a while, and find a few cute carried out lady, who will adore you, and make a first-rate mistress in your satisfactory residence. I shouldn't
. I'm homely and awkward and bizarre and antique, and also you'd be embarrassed about me, and we have to quarrel—we can not assist it even now, you notice—and I shouldn't like fashionable society and you'll, and you'd hate my scribbling, and I couldn't get on with out it, and we need to be unhappy, and desire we hadn't accomplished it, and the entirety might be horrid!"
"Anything extra?" asked Laurie, locating it difficult to concentrate patiently to this prophetic burst.
"Nothing greater, except that I do not accept as true with I shall ever marry. I'm satisfied as I am, and love my liberty too well to be in a rush to present it up for any mortal guy."
"I recognise better!" broke in Laurie. "You think so now, but there'll come a time while you will take care of somebody, and you'll love him enormously, and stay and die for him. I understand you will, it is your way, and I shall have to stand through and see it," and the despairing lover cast his hat upon the ground with a gesture that would have seemed comical, if his face had now not been so tragic.
"Yes, I will stay and die for him, if he ever comes and makes me love him despite myself, and you ought to do the satisfactory you can!" cried Jo, losing endurance with negative Teddy. "I've done my quality, but you might not be reasonable, and it's selfish of you to preserve teasing for what I can't provide. I shall always be fond of you, very fond certainly, as a chum, but I'll never marry you, and the sooner you agree with it the better for both of us—so now!"
That speech changed into like gunpowder. Laurie looked at her a minute as though he did no longer pretty realize what to do with himself, then became sharply away, announcing in a desperate kind of tone, "You'll be sorry some day, Jo."
"Oh, where are you going?" she cried, for his face nervous her.
"To the devil!" turned into the consoling solution.
For a minute Jo's heart stood nonetheless, as he swung himself down the financial institution towards the river, but it takes lots folly, sin or distress to ship a younger guy to a violent dying, and Laurie changed into not one of the weak type who are conquered through a single failure. He had no notion of a melodramatic plunge, but some blind instinct led him to fling hat and coat into his boat, and row away with all his might, making better time up the river than he had finished in any race. Jo drew a long breath and unclasped her hands as she watched the terrible fellow seeking to outstrip the trouble which he carried in his heart.
"That will do him right, and he'll come domestic in this kind of tender, penitent nation of thoughts, that I shan't dare to peer him," she said, including, as she went slowly home, feeling as though she had murdered a few harmless element, and buried it under the leaves. "Now I need to pass and put together Mr. Laurence to be very kind to my bad boy. I want he'd love Beth, possibly he may additionally in time, but I begin to suppose I changed into flawed approximately her. Oh dear! How can ladies want to have fans and refuse them? I think it is dreadful."
Being positive that no person should do it so properly as herself, she went instantly to Mr. Laurence, instructed the tough tale bravely via, and then broke down, crying so dismally over her personal insensibility that the type antique gentleman, though sorely disenchanted, did no longer utter a reproach. He discovered it tough to apprehend how any female may want to assist loving Laurie, and was hoping she might change her thoughts, however he knew even higher than Jo that love can't be pressured, so he shook his head sadly and resolved to hold his boy out of damage's manner, for Young Impetuosity's parting phrases to Jo disturbed him extra than he would confess.
When Laurie came domestic, dead worn-out but pretty composed, his grandfather met him as though he knew nothing, and kept up the delusion very effectively for an hour or two. But after they sat collectively in the twilight, the time they used to experience so much, it became difficult paintings for the vintage guy to ramble on as usual, and harder still for the younger one to pay attention to praises of the last year's success, which to him now appeared like love's labor misplaced. He bore it as long as he could, then went to his piano and began to play. The windows have been open, and Jo, walking in the lawn with Beth, for as soon as understood track better than her sister, for he played the 'Sonata Pathetique', and played it as he by no means did before.
"That's very first-rate, I dare say, however it is unhappy sufficient to make one cry. Give us some thing gayer, lad," stated Mr. Laurence, whose type old heart become complete of sympathy, which he longed to expose but knew now not how.
Laurie dashed into a livelier strain, played stormily for numerous mins, and could have were given thru bravely, if in a temporary lull Mrs. March's voice had not been heard calling, "Jo, pricey, are available. I want you."
Just what Laurie longed to mention, with a unique meaning! As he listened, he misplaced his vicinity, the music ended with a damaged chord, and the musician sat silent inside the dark.
"I cannot stand this," muttered the vintage gentleman. Up he got, groped his way to the piano, laid a type hand on either of the large shoulders, and stated, as lightly as a lady, "I understand, my boy, I know."
No answer for an instant, then Laurie requested sharply, "Who instructed you?"
"Jo herself."
"Then there may be an stop of it!" And he shook off his grandfather's palms with an impatient motion, for although thankful for the sympathy, his guy's satisfaction could not endure a man's pity.
"Not pretty. I want to mention one component, and then there shall be an give up of it," back Mr. Laurence with unusual mildness. "You might not care to stay at home now, possibly?"
"I do not intend to run faraway from a woman. Jo can't prevent my seeing her, and I shall stay and do it so long as I like," interrupted Laurie in a defiant tone.
"Not if you are the gentleman I assume you. I'm disenchanted, but the girl can't help it, and the only aspect left with the intention to do is to go away for a time. Where will you cross?"
"Anywhere. I do not care what becomes of me," and Laurie got up with a reckless snort that grated on his grandfather's ear.
"Take it like a person, and do not do some thing rash, for God's sake. Why not go abroad, as you deliberate, and overlook it?"
"I can't."
"But you've got been wild to move, and I promised you have to while you bought via university."
"Ah, however I didn't suggest to move alone!" and Laurie walked rapid via the room with an expression which it became properly his grandfather did not see.
"I don't ask you to head alone. There's someone ready and satisfied to go along with you, everywhere inside the international."
"Who, Sir?" preventing to pay attention.
"Myself."
Laurie got here returned as fast as he went, and positioned out his hand, pronouncing huskily, "I'm a egocentric brute, but——Grandfather—"
"Lord assist me, yes, I do recognise, for I've been via it all before, as soon as in my own younger days, and then along with your father. Now, my pricey boy, simply sit quietly down and hear my plan. It's all settled, and may be accomplished right away," said Mr. Laurence, keeping keep of the younger guy, as though fearful that he could destroy away as his father had done before him.
"Well, sir, what's it?" and Laurie sat down, without a sign of interest in face or voice.
"There is commercial enterprise in London that needs searching after. I supposed you must attend to it, but I can do it better myself, and matters right here gets on very well with Brooke to control them. My companions do almost the entirety, I'm simply maintaining on until you're taking my place, and may be off at any time."
"But you hate touring, Sir. I can't ask it of you at your age," started Laurie, who turned into grateful for the sacrifice, but a good deal preferred to go by myself, if he went at all.
The vintage gentleman knew that perfectly well, and especially favored to prevent it, for the mood wherein he discovered his grandson assured him that it would not be smart to leave him to his personal devices. So, stifling a herbal remorse at the concept of the home comforts he wou
ld go away behind him, he stated stoutly, "Bless your soul, I'm not superannuated yet. I quite enjoy the idea. It will do me correct, and my old bones may not suffer, for journeying nowadays is nearly as smooth as sitting in a chair."
A restless movement from Laurie advised that his chair turned into now not clean, or that he did not like the plan, and made the antique man add unexpectedly, "I do not mean to be a marplot or a burden. I cross due to the fact I suppose you'll experience happier than if I became left in the back of. I don't intend to gad about with you, but depart you free to head in which you want, even as I amuse myself in my very own way. I've buddies in London and Paris, and have to want to go to them. Meantime you could visit Italy, Germany, Switzerland, in which you may, and revel in pix, song, surroundings, and adventures to your heart's content material."
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