“Hmm, I might,” I mull, tapping my chin. “Is she pretty?”
He shakes his head, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth. “She’s beautiful,” he says softly, taking my breath away.
I don’t know what to say to that, so I sit next to him, opting to not take his hand. These butterflies need a break. He ruts around in his bag and produces a can of purple soda and a Pop Tart, passing both to me. I open the can, careful that it doesn’t fizz up. We clink cans and then sip, biting into our treat at the same time. I wait, knowing he’ll talk about what’s bugging him soon.
We stare out at the darkened ocean, the whites of the waves visible with its push and pull. Below us, sand grass dances in the mild breeze; their blades bowing back and forth. The beam from the lighthouse illuminates the darkness ever so often as it makes its constant revolution. Everything makes our time together that much more special; that much more meaningful.
Being anywhere with him is always special and meaningful.
“My dad is an asshole,” he grumbles after a while. What a conversation starter.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“He thinks I’m not focused; says I tanked the game for the team. As if I play every position, or there’s an ‘i’ in team and I could carry everyone on my damn back!” he explains, frustration evident in his tone.
“He says the game I played tonight won’t capture the attention of any scouts,” he continues miserably. “As if I don’t have two whole years until that’s even a possibility.”
He sighs and I don’t say anything. If there’s anything I learned from my parents, except how to gross their kid out with PDA, it’s that when someone is venting, let them.
“He wants me to train harder, to be better, to this better, and that better, and I just feel…” He looks away, seemingly embarrassed. I tilt his chin with my can of soda and his cool brown eyes stare at me. I smile a small smile, encouraging him to go on without saying it.
“I just feel worthless, Sav.” And there it is.
The perfect, popular, golden boy of Rainier High School is insecure. It’s weird and it might be fucked up, but I’m glad he’s not perfect. And because he’s not perfect, it makes me fall in love with him that much more.
My eyes widen at the realization and my heart thunders in my chest. I’m in love with Kyle. But…but…he’s my best friend. I can’t possibly be in love with my best friend, can I? Even as I question it, I know the answer. Yes, I can. I am. Without a doubt.
“What? Don’t tell me you agree with him,” he sneers, his aura radiating defense. He’s mistaken the shock on my face for agreement with his completely mistaken dad.
I shake my head quickly. “I’m just shocked your dad would even think those things about you.” Yes, it’s a cop out, but I am not saying shit until he makes a move.
Until he tells me he wants to take our friendship to the next level, I’m keeping my feelings on lock.
“You’re a great guy, Kyle. An amazing player,” I affirm him. “You were great out there tonight. So, you didn’t get both homeruns. Some of the other guys didn’t even get one. And did you see Oberman out there?”
Hal Oberman is Rainier’s short stop and he was dropping balls more than he does his own.
“Right?” he exclaims. “But according to him, the other guys on the team isn’t his son. Like I asked to be.”
“Don’t let him get to you. Today’s game was on everybody. You all are a team, so if a link in the chain is weak, the whole chain is going to be weak,” I tell him. “Just know that you played well, and I’m not just saying that because you’re my best friend.”
I bump my shoulder into his arm, and he wraps me into a hug. “Thanks, Crazy Hair.” He drops a kiss to my forehead, and I freeze.
His lips feel too good on my skin. He slants away from me and we stare at each other. Could he feel me shiver? The moon casts an otherworldly glow on his face. His beauty is so painful to look at in this moment, yet I find it so hard to look away. I want to reach up and touch him, but I’m so terrified to jostle this energy between us.
What will it mean? Are we ready to change the dynamics of our friendship this soon?
“Hey! Who’s up here?” a voice calls out making us jolt apart. A light flashes, as feet clamor up the steps on the outer side of the lighthouse.
Kyle and I share a look before we hurriedly gather our stuff and run down the steps on the other side of the lighthouse. We’re giggling like the teenagers we are as the adrenaline from getting caught pumps through our veins.
“Hey! You two, stop!” the guard yells, chasing us.
We hit the last step and we bound from it, leaping over the chain link fence. My shoe gets stuck and I trip, landing unceremoniously on my knee. A sharp pain makes me cry out and Kyle looks back in horror, seeing me down. He turns back, frees my foot and scoops me up.
The pain in my knee is all forgotten as my big, strong best friend carries me in his arms away from certain juvie. When we get to our bikes, adrenaline pushes us to unlock and run away quickly, mounting them, and then cycling away.
It’s only when I get back to my house that I realize that my knee is cut open, and that despite being grounded for the rest of the year, I am giddy as fucking in love with my best friend, Kyle Moxam. And he’s going to be my husband.
It’s the end of the world as I know it.
Now
Becky and I part ways, promising to do breakfast again. Walking back to my car, I see a poster on my window and smile.
The carnival is in town…
Chapter Twenty Five – A Rabid Terrier, Foley!
Kyle – Present
I’M AT WORK as I replay last night. I’m playing with fire – I know that. To be specific, I’m playing with Savannah Georgia Carpenter who is fire incarnate when she’s pissed. She hates that I’ve asked her to do this, and to be fair, I would have hated it too. To stand by and have to watch the person I’ve been in love with since I was a kid marry someone else is a special kind of hell that I don’t ever want to endure.
Yet here you are…
I tell myself that this is for the best, and that things will work out as they should. But every time I see the light dim in her eyes, or the dullness taking over her voice, I realize that this is killing her.
And our friendship.
I’ve run out of allies. I’m backed into a corner as I continue to see this through, because everyone is batting for team Savi. Never mind that they’ve known about this for a month now. I’ve made enemies out of my own family and friends, broken their hearts; and the one person I could talk to about anything, well I think I’ve broken her, too.
Last night, I saw just how much when I ran into man-bun Horace after Savi had driven off. His lip had curled of its own volition and his jaw flexed in anger when he saw me. I felt bad that I’d cock-blocked him four months ago, but not that bad to have allowed him to sweep my girl off her feet. It reminded me of that dating ban I’d imposed on her in high school.
Both situations were pretty fucked up. I smelled the double standard bullshit from a mile away – she was single and was now planning my wedding – but call me a bastard, I hadn’t been ready to let go of her yet.
Man-bun Horace had ended up taking his date elsewhere. I’d grimaced when I remembered that months ago, he was just this enthusiastic guy who’d been psyched about having gotten the number of the girl of his dreams in the bathroom hallway of a seafood joint. I’d shut that shit down with alarming alacrity.
“She’s mine,” I’d hissed when I pinned him to the wall. I’d taken his phone then erased the number he’d just entered. Tossing back his phone, I’d gone back to our table like nothing happened. Instead of shooting my shot with my best friend like I should have, I’d dicked it up by telling her about this random date I’d had that night.
A date that had meant absolutely nothing to me.
I fuck things up a lot when it comes to Savi and me; can never get things right. No wonder I’ve
never deserved her.
A commotion outside of my office pulls my attention away from my thoughts. I’m rubbing the tattoo on my index finger with my middle one and spinning a pen idly with my other hand. Savi had bought this spinning contraption a few months ago when we’d gone shopping for her new office. I didn’t see the need for them – the same way I didn’t see the use for those fidget spinnermajigs – but she had thrown me a know-it-all smile before ominously telling me that I would.
And I do. Every time I feel anxious or a little out of depth, I pick the pen up and fuck around with it and, strangely, it calms me down.
My door bangs open and my balls crawl into my abdomen when I see who’s standing at the threshold.
“Sir, I’m so sorry,” Nova rushes to apologize. “I tried to stop her…and all that jazz.”
The smirk on my PA’s face tells me that she didn’t do a damn thing to try to stop the gorgeous and royally pissed off woman, with the shaved-at-the-sides head and full-sleeve tattoos on both arms. I’m not ashamed to say that she terrifies me.
“Jailbait, I have a hard time understanding why you’re putting my niece through hell,” Regina, Savi’s aunt, expresses. “Here I was, thinking that you were boning her on a daily by now, only to hear from a rather broken-hearted Savannah that you’re getting married. To someone else.”
She advances in my office and if I could, I’d retreat. But I’m no punk, so I raise my hands in surrender like one.
“R-Regina,” I begin to say when it dawns on me that I hadn’t told her about my plans. She produces a baseball bat from behind her and my lips clamp shut.
I have no doubt she’d use it. Savi is cut from the same cloth.
“Ooh, this is going to be good!” Nova exclaims excitedly, hurrying to take a seat to the far corner of the office.
I level her with a hard stare, but it doesn’t faze her. She simply waves me off and pulls her cell phone out to start recording, while mouthing “World Star!” I think this is grounds to fire her…
“Start talking, Jailbait, and it better be good,” Regina threatens with her baseball bat pointed in my direction. She plops down unceremoniously on the sofa and throws her legs up on one of the arms, spreading her arms out in an “I’m all ears” gesture.
Sighing in defeat, I say, “Where do I begin?”
“From the beginning would be nice,” Nova echoes from her perch, batting her eyelashes. I telepathically bury her six feet under.
She’ll be missed, but so many others need a job…
“OK,” I begin. “So, it started with Pop Tarts and Purple Soda…”
When I’m done talking to Savi’s aunt, I feel flayed open. My heart is full, and I can barely breathe with the love I’m feeling for this woman.
“Kid…” Regina breathes, choked up.
“I love her,” is all I can say, as if all of this explains everything, as if it explains why I’m putting her niece through hell.
Nova is quiet, wiping her eyes. She leaves silently, and I have to say, quiet Nova is novel. As entertaining as her snarky remarks and tell-it-like-it-is attitude is, I don’t think I could’ve handled hearing her smart mouth after all of this.
Regina stares at me with a newfound respect and she nods at me before standing. As she walks out, she stops at the door and says, “Don’t make her wait too long. A love like that is once in a lifetime.”
I’m alone in my office and feel like crawling out of my skin. I’ve got two deals to attend to on my desk, an athlete’s contract to renegotiate, and wedding plans to finalize with Savannah, but my focus is shot for the day.
Pressing the buzzer on the intercom, I tell Nova, “Noves, I’m going to get some fresh air.”
She answers by sniffling. Seriously, quiet Nova is fucking awesome!
Outside is a little overcast, but I decide to walk anyway. My thoughts are running wild, my feet leaden with exhaustion and worry, but I continue walking, hoping it will clear my head. I have a decision to make, and it has nothing to do with seating arrangements, but everything to do with where Savannah – my best friend of over ten years – and my friendship is going.
I want to say it’s strong enough to withstand all of this, but I’m not so sure. We’ve been through too much over the years and this is yet another risk I’m taking with something, and someone, so precious.
People go about their day hailing cabs, running to catch a bus. They go in and out of stores, stand at ATMs. It’s mundane and normal, but I find it all fascinating. Anything to distract me from the turmoil in my own spirit.
As I make my way down the street, hands in my pockets, I see a few flyers littered on the street. One sticking on a light post tells me that there’s a carnival in town. Feeling an instant craving for cotton candy, I decide to walk the few blocks to where it’s being held.
Families are littered all over. Kids with joy written on their faces are running and screaming in excitement. The rides and games are in full swing and everyone seems to be having a great time. My mind shifts to Savannah knowing she’d love it here. Grabbing a purple cotton candy, I pull my phone out to call my best friend.
Her phone rings twice and I fear she may not answer, until she does on the longest third ring known to man.
“Hey,” she says, her background familiarly noisy.
“Hey, where are you?” I ask.
“The carnival’s in town…why?” she answers, and I smile.
“I’m there, too,” I tell her, searching the crowd for her.
When I spot her in line at the Ferris wheel, a wave of nostalgia hits me in the solar plexus so hard that I stumble. She is gorgeous. She’s wearing a green flared dress today with white tulle underneath and orange flats on her small feet.
Exactly what she’d been wearing eleven years ago when we came to the carnival together.
Walking over to her silently, I notice that we still have our cell phones clutched at our ear. I pull hers away before doing the same with mine and ending the call. I want to touch her some more, so when the wind throws a lock of her purple hair across her face, I use the moment wisely.
Brushing it away, my fingers linger at her cheek, feeling its warmth, before falling away. My palm twitches, already bereft of her, but I know that’s all I’ll be able to get away with right now.
I look at the Ferris wheel looming behind us and I smile. Savannah shakes her head, trying to hide her own grin and fails. The weight on my chest feels lighter somehow as I take in that smile of hers.
“Whad’ya say, Crazy Hair?” I cajole. “Wanna take a ride on the Ferris wheel?”
“Are you sure you want to?” she throws back at me. “Last I remember I had to defend your honor.”
“And last I remember I had to defend yours.” A smile is fighting its way to my lips. God, how I’ve missed verbally sparring with her.
“You say tomato…” She grins.
“You say toh-mahto…” I finish, tugging her to the death trap of our memories.
Kyle – Past
“Dude, was that you screaming like a little bitch?” Foley Montgomery teases as I wobble out of the death trap called a Ferris wheel. His friends snicker next to him.
I am on the verge of losing my shit, the contents of my stomach and every single one of my man cards with no hope in sight. Hiding out for the rest of my high school and college years doesn’t seem like a bad idea. I don’t need baseball or light or fast food or friends…except for Savi. Once I have her, all is right and everything and everyone else can eat a bag of flaming shit. We can hide out together, but I can’t promise it’ll be platonic. Having her to myself for life is something I’m not ashamed to admit – to myself – that I’ve thought about…
A lot.
“That was me screaming like a little bitch, Foley,” Savannah asserts, jumping to my rescue. “And, FYI, that’s how your mom sounds when your Dad is plowing her.”
Foley’s friends ohh at the burn and I see him bristle, anger and embarrassment making him clench his fists
. It was rumored that Foley’s mom is a screamer in bed so that subject is a touchy one…and my purple-haired hellion just went there.
My dick twitches at the fire in my best friend. Fuck, but she’s a feisty little thing. I’m already sorry for any guy she dates. Anger rumbles up out of nowhere at that thought and I tamp it down. I never understand why it ticks me off so much to see or imagine her with someone else; thus, the materialization of my dating ban. As if any of these pricks with their little dicks could measure up.
But I can…
I don’t have time to process that little thought when I hear Foley’s menacing, “Why, you little bitch!”
The d-bag takes a step toward her and, little fire starter that she is, doesn’t back down or flinch but advances on him too. Lightning quickly, I step in front of her, puffing my chest out. I have a few inches on the dumbass and he knows as well as I do, that I’m not afraid to knock his teeth in. He has always given me a wide berth since our brawl in Elementary school. I pounded him then and I’ll pound him in equal measure if he so much as says another word to Crazy Hair.
But my best friend has other plans.
“Lemme at him, Kyle!” Savi fusses from behind me and I almost laugh, if I didn’t think she was dead fucking serious.
“Are we gonna have a problem, Foley?” I throw at him, folding my arms and flexing. Thank God for baseball practice or I’d have been a scrawny little thing Foley could have easily grabbed and flung like a crash test dummy.
Foley is pissed, but I stand my ground. I’m not keen on fucking up my arm while in the high season. Hell, coach warned us against making dumb decisions especially with our dicks. And this, me standing up to a bully who could probably get some good hits in, is a dick thought. Yes, I’m defending my best friend’s honor…my best friend who I secretly want to fuck.
Better Late Than Never Page 29
