Sweet and Sassy Baby Love

by Alicia Street

  “I’m ashamed to say that’s a relief.”

  “Do you have trust issues?” she asked, wondering if she was looking at a red flag.

  “No, not at all, not where you’re concerned, but where Rick is concerned, yes. I bet he’s on the phone to my ex right now.” Fortunately, he laughed.

  “Are you okay with that?”

  “No, but only because I don’t want to see her at firehouse events. Ha! Does that make any sense?”

  “Yes! I don’t want to see her, either,” Bridget said, shivering.

  They arrived at the park, which was pretty crowded for an early summer day. Southern California was known for its cloudy skies in June, hence the nickname June Gloom. But Bridget didn’t care. Being outside was wonderful, and the baby reacted right away, winking from the light after being inside all the time.

  “Let’s get a little hat on,” she said, digging through her bags while Tony held the baby.

  “We have a little surprise for Flynn.” He opened up the back of his truck and pulled out a brand-new, fancy stroller.

  “No way! I always wanted a jogging stroller, even though I don’t jog.”

  “We need a stroller if we’re coming to the park.”

  “Wow, I never thought I’d have anything like this for Flynn. I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say a word. Let’s get everything you need loaded up, including this little guy.”

  They made trips back and forth to the spot they chose, not far from the truck. The last item he brought over was a huge old-fashioned picnic hamper.

  “Look at that thing!”

  “My mom packed our lunch. She made me help, but it’s really all her doing.”

  “I can’t wait. I’m starving.”

  “I guess trying to feed another human must take a lot of energy.” He said this staring at her breasts.

  “I get to eat more than I normally would, that’s true.”

  “Well, we have a thermos of coffee—I told her you’re a coffee drinker—chicken salad sandwiches, pasta salad and chips,” he said, removing containers of food from the picnic basket. “For dessert, it looks like she made chocolate chip cookies. My dad ate all the cookies you made for us.”

  The delicious lunch made the picnic so special. Watching Tony talk, she realized he was really a romantic.

  “Did you and Patty do things like this?” she asked. “I hope it’s okay to ask. I’m thinking you’re a romantic.”

  “No, actually, she hated picnics. We didn’t do a lot of exciting things. We hung out and watched TV most of the time.”

  “That’s fun, too. Everything in balance.”

  “What do you like to do besides go on picnics?” he asked, popping the tab on a can of cold soda.

  She thought for a moment because telling someone what she liked was about as foreign an idea as ever. No man had ever cared enough to actually ask her.

  “I like museums. Flea markets. Craft shows. Places where I can learn about people. This is so odd, you asking, because although I’ve always known I like those places, I just now realized it’s because they tell so much about people. Wow.” She shook her head as though to clear the dust. “I’m clueless, obviously.”

  “You might feel that way, but I can see why. You haven’t had much time to take care of yourself lately.”

  It was almost nap time for baby Flynn, and he was rooting around on her shirt.

  “I’m going to have a small child attached to my chest in a moment. Do you want to be part of this, or should I go in the truck?”

  “I want to see,” he whispered, leaning over to her. “My heart just skipped a beat.”

  “You’re nuts,” she said, laughing, but clearly pleased. He was not only interested in her, he was interested in the baby and what it cost her to care for him.

  “I won’t whip it out for the world to see,” she said, pulling a cover-up out of her diaper bag.

  “You’re going to cover? Jeez, I thought I was going to get a glimpse. What is that thing?”

  “It’s called a Hooter Hider,” she said, laughing. “So you can nurse in public and not offend anyone.”

  “Who would get offended?” he asked, frowning.

  “You’d be surprised,” she said. “Can you snap this?”

  He reached over and snapped the shawl-like garment around her neck. “Now I’m covered up and he can nurse away.”

  “Is he attached now?” Tony asked. “I’m about as ignorant as a rock when it comes to women things.”

  “You were engaged for how long?”

  “We didn’t have that kind of relationship.”

  “Why not? When you love someone, don’t you want to be involved with every aspect of their lives?”

  Pensive, he wondered how much he should share, at that crossroad where too much would be betraying Patty’s confidences, and too little might cause suspicions to arise with Bridget.

  “Our relationship was pretty immature,” he admitted. “We both still live at home. It made intimacy difficult. I was satisfied to leave it where it was at, but she wanted more. It was the topic most of our arguments were about. I spent too much time with the guys, not enough with her. Refusing to move out of my parents’ house was a big conflict.”

  “Why didn’t you? I mean, I understand why you didn’t, but when you’re in a relationship and want to be together, isn’t that the next step?”

  “It is now,” he said, scooting over to be closer to her. With his arm around her, he leaned in for a kiss. “I’m ready to move now.”

  “Well, don’t yet. I have a place where we can go, okay? Save your money until it’s an issue.”

  “I save. I have enough to make a good-sized down payment on a house in Southern California.”

  “You’re doing okay, then! I’m impressed.”

  “Well, don’t be. Like I said”—and here they chorused together—“I live with mommy and daddy.”

  The relaxing afternoon stretched out before them. Talking about their lives prior to that moment, side by side, his arm around her back, with baby Flynn in the crook of her arm, the clouds cleared for a while and the sun moved across the sky.

  “We’d better take our walk,” she said, fighting the desire to lie back on Roberta Saint’s quilt and make love to her son.

  “Okay, although I’d rather lie here with you.”

  “Me too, so we’d better take a walk.”

  While she changed the baby and got him situated, Tony took everything back to the truck. They’d walk the trails for an hour before returning to their picnic spot.

  “Are you ready to head home?”

  “I’m ready,” she said, hoping she could restrain from taking him to bed. Five days was not long enough to know someone.

  As they pushed the stroller across the street together, peace permeated every step. At the apartment, they unloaded everything, and when the leftovers were put away, she led the way back to the bathroom.

  “Time for baby to have his bath. I’ve been using a dishpan from the dollar store. It’s the perfect size to hold a baby and an inch of water. I’m afraid he’ll slip out of my hands and I’ll drown him.”

  “Yeah, I hear ya. Don’t think I would attempt this myself.”

  He held the baby while she prepared the bathwater. When it was ready, she undressed Flynn and dipped him the water. The screams of anguish that only bathing an infant can produce rang out, echoing throughout the apartment. Her next-door neighbor yelled through the wall, “Bath time?” and Bridget yelled back, “Yes, thank you!”

  She worked fast and, after less than two minutes, lifted him out and rolled him in a soft towel. Dressing him quickly before he cried again, they went into the living room together so she could nurse him once more before bed.

  “Light that candle, will you?” She nodded to the coffee table, where a candle and a book of matches lay.

  Finding her spot on the couch, she lifted her shirt up and, with the baby’s head blocking, took her breas
t out. Flynn didn’t hesitate, and the sound of sucking reached Tony’s ears.

  “Is that what I think it is?” he asked, grinning. “I guess I didn’t hear it at the park because of all the noise.”

  “He is greedy. Are you uncomfortable with me like this?” She was flirting and she knew it, but it was fun.

  “No, not at all. I’d like to see it, actually.”

  “I think you want to look at my boob.”

  “Well, that too, but I’m intrigued. How could a grown guy who watched a delivery in training never see a baby nurse?”

  “Didn’t your mother nurse your little brothers?”

  “Roberta? Not on your life. My mother came home from the hospital in her skintight pants and stilettos. You’ll have to meet my mother soon. She’s a character. The last thing she’d do is let a kid suck on her breast.”

  “She seems pretty accepting of me, since she lets me use your van to pump.”

  “Don’t get me wrong, she loves babies, loves kids, is all about the nurturing mother, but doing it herself? Never. I’ll tell you a family secret.”

  “Should you do that? I mean, since I now work with most of your relatives.”

  “It’s okay. We all know it, but no one outside the family knows it. My folks made us pay for our own college, but my mother has had a face-lift, a boob job, and a butt lift.”

  Hearing the words spoken out loud for the first time in ages, Tony laughed so hard the baby jumped.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” he mumbled.

  “It’s fine. It’s reflex. So does Patty know?”

  “No way. She’d tell her mother and then, pillow talk, the mother would tell the father, who’s my dad’s friend, so we were sworn to secrecy.”

  “Why are you telling me, then?”

  “I wanted you to know, that’s all. The college thing was difficult for us. My brother Joey worked at In-N-Out Burger to put himself through paramedic school and the fire academy. Mike Junior joined the Army Reserves, and they paid.”

  “So you’re blaming Roberta’s plastic surgery for having to pay for your own college?”

  Sheepishly, Tony ducked his head. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

  “Not everyone gets a free ride to college. If you’re motivated to do something with your life, you’ll do it. You proved you could do it.” She looked down at Flynn and her heart swelled. “I just now realized that I want something more for my baby. I don’t know, Tony. Maybe it’s good to force your children to work hard. Sometimes I thought it was ridiculous that I was working at Starbucks in the evening and then going on emergency calls eight hours a day.”

  “Why’d you do both?” he asked, concerned.

  “I was looking ahead. I didn’t want to live with my parents forever. No offense. It’s fine that you’re living at home. I just mean for me. And then when I suspected I was pregnant, I couldn’t save money fast enough.”

  It was the truth. Bridget had focused on two things: finishing training and getting a job that would pay her enough to live independently.

  “It’s cool that we’re both savers,” Tony said. “It’s an important trait.”

  “Was Patty a saver? I know I keep bringing her name up. I’m trying to understand what went wrong in your relationship.”

  “No, Patty was a spender, but because we didn’t live together, it wasn’t an issue for me. Connie told me that the things that stick out in a relationship before marriage are impossible to ignore after. That scared me. Things had just built up so they were unbearable. We were at the place where it was shit or get off the pot. I hope she won’t be an issue for you.”

  “She’s not, exactly. I don’t want to be the rebound person.”

  “You aren’t. We broke up last December, and I dated someone else for a weekend.”

  “Oh, okay,” Bridget said, laughing. “I’ll let her be your transition person.”

  “Plus I’m not rebounding exactly. I was in a state of suspended animation for so long that I’m finally coming back to life.”

  They didn’t say anything for a bit. “I’ll put him in his crib.”

  She went to stand, and Tony had his hand on her back, the support he gave her to stand suddenly a metaphor for what she believed their relationship would be, and she teared up a little bit.

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “Your hand on my back. It made me see that up until now I’ve really been alone. My sisters are great, but this kind of gentle care from a man, well, it’s foreign to me.”

  “It feels natural to do it. I want to be with you.”

  “Come with me,” she said, nodding toward the bedroom.

  He followed her into the little alcove where she’d set up Flynn’s crib, and he watched as she checked his diaper, then laid him down on his back.

  “You have it set up nice in there,” Tony said once they were back in the living room.

  “It’ll be okay as long as he’s in a crib, but this one-bedroom thing isn’t going to be enough after he moves into a bed. But for now, it’ll do. So, are you hungry?”

  “I am. Do you want to order something in?”

  “I have leftover pizza from last night if you’re okay with that.”

  “Pizza is great.”

  They had pizza and wine in the living room. The sexual tension was there, but they discovered it was fun to play with it, not give in to it.

  Running her finger up his arm, the muscles solid, she asked a question she knew was silly but really wanted to know. “So are you a gym rat?”

  “Ha!” he barked out, laughing. “No. I hate working out.”

  “So where’d these bulging muscles come from?”

  “I have to stay in shape for the job. I lift weights in the gym at the station, but just yanking those hoses around is a good upper-body workout.”

  “So is your chest as nice as your arms?”

  She started laughing when he stood up and peeled his T-shirt off, and when she saw his chest, the defined ab muscles and the flat belly with a line of black hair disappearing under his belt, she buried her face in a pillow. “How am I supposed to behave now?”

  Grinning, he bent down and kissed her on the mouth. “You’re not supposed to,” he said. “But we will behave. I want this to last a lifetime, so I’d better cool it.”

  “A lifetime?”

  “A lifetime.”

  Deciding they’d better cool it down, Tony found a movie he wanted to see, and they watched it, both of them falling asleep halfway through, snuggled on the couch. At midnight with the droning of voices in the background, Tony woke up. He wasn’t sure where he was at first, and then he looked down next to him and saw Bridget, clearly exhausted, sleeping soundly. Slipping off the couch, he went in search of the bathroom.

  When he came out, she was still sleeping. He made a decision then that he wasn’t going to leave; he didn’t want to wake her to lock the door after him. Choosing one from a pile of afghans folded on the end of the couch, he placed it over her. Next to the couch was a big chair with an ottoman, so he took his shoes off, glad his feet weren’t too smelly, and got on with another afghan. In seconds, he was back to sleep.

  Bright light flooded the living room. Opening his eyes, the first thing he noticed—his neck was stiff from sleeping in the chair, so he rubbed it, sitting up. It was seven. The vacant couch meant Bridget was up, but he could hear the shower. Thoughts of his parents crossed his mind, they’d be leaving for mass in a couple of hours, and his absent truck would make them worry, so he sent a text.

  Ma, I stayed over at Bridget’s, on the couch. See you later. He added a smiley face to soften the blow. Moving over to lie on the couch, as soon as he closed his eyes, he fell back to sleep.

  The aroma of coffee and the fussing of a baby woke Tony up at nine. Guiltily, he quickly went to the kitchen. Holding the baby in one arm, a cup of coffee in the other hand, with wet hair down her back and no makeup on, stood Bridget. She was beautiful to him, so much so it was a little b
reathtaking.

  “I’m sorry I’m a slug. I woke up when you were in the shower, and the lure of the couch was too much.”

  “You’re not a slug at all. Last night was the best sleep I’ve had in two months. He never woke up to eat! I think it was the fresh air. Maybe I’d better start taking him out on the balcony in the evenings. Anyway, coffee?”

  “I’d love some, and then I’ll run home to shower. Do you want to go to late mass?”

  “You’re asking me to go to church?”

  He noticed that she was trying and failing to hide a grimace, and it made him laugh. “I guess I am,” he replied. “Then we can follow the crowd and have breakfast at the Wild Pancake.”

  “I haven’t been to church since I told my parents I was pregnant. It felt like a contradiction.”

  “I’m sorry they made you feel bad. Come. You can decide if it’s still important to you, and if it is, we’ll go together from now on.”

  “Is it important to you?” She watched him over her coffee cup.

  “It is. It’s just something I do to start the week off. I have faith in something, but it’s not exactly what they’re preaching. I guess you could say I’m not religious.”

  “I’m not, either.”

  “But I like the ritual of mass.”

  “You’re a spiritual guy,” she replied. “I like that.”

  “What about you?”

  “I believe in karma,” she said, laughing. “Does that count?”

  “Karma is awesome. It’s a powerful motivator. So I’ll be back in about an hour. Is that good for you? I’ll help watch baby Flynn first if you have something to do.”

  “Are we safe to take him to church?”

  “It’d better be the one place that’s safe to take him. I’d kiss you, but I’m unwashed and all that.”

  “Thank you,” she replied, giggling.

  “I want to, but…”

  “We’ll hug when you return.”

  She walked him to the door, and before he could get away, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his prickly cheek. He’d washed his face in her bathroom; she could smell the lavender soap. And after she kissed him, he gave the baby a kiss on his head.

  “You’ll have to wash his hair now.”