“No chest movement.” Madelyn bent over the incubator and suctioned the nose and mouth. “Heart rate?”
The nurse pressed the stethoscope on the infant’s belly. “70, 80. Too slow.” Madelyn continued the suctioning. “90, 100, 120.”
“We’re good.” A sigh of relief escaped her. One gone. Two to go. I hope I can hold on.
Bracing herself, she pulled up a stool, sat on it, and waited for Nick. Baby B soon made an appearance. Sandra glanced at her. Madelyn motioned to bring the second preemie.
Baby B lay limp and gray like a mud doll in the warmer. “Heart rate 70.” The nurse announced. Madelyn suctioned him. “Still 70.”
“I’ll intubate.” She introduced a silicone tube down the infant’s throat.
“Heart rate still 70.”
Damn it. Why now? A cold sweat moistened her temple. I can’t collapse now. I can’t let her die. “Catheter.” The nurse swabbed an antiseptic solution on the preemie’s side. Madelyn inserted the catheter and pushed. Steady. Fast. There was no time to waste. For her sake and the baby’s sake. She hissed and prayed her hands remained stable. Press harder. Harder.
A gurgling whooshed out of the newborn’s throat. Madelyn’s sigh echoed as the trapped air escaped from the collapsed lungs. Slowly the pallor receded and the cute cheeks pinked up. Thank God, it was over. “You can dress them now and take their vitals.” Sandra knew what to do next.
Madelyn hardly cast a weary look at Nick as he concentrated on his patient. With a doctor of his caliber, the mother would be fine. Her job well-done, Madelyn slipped out of the OR and raced to her room.
With trembling hands, she rummaged inside her lunch bag for her sandwich and salad box, and slumped onto her chair in front of her desk. Not really hungry, she forced herself to bite and chew. Good thing several bottles of water lined up on the side of her credenza. Her stock always replenished by a custodian whose baby she’d saved. She paid him at the end of the week and he made sure she never missed her cold water supply.
Today could have turned tragic. Although nobody noticed anything was amiss. Except Sandra maybe. Her sandwich finished, Madelyn hastened to swallow her pill. There were no more deliveries scheduled for today. But one never knew if another emergency would fall out of the blue. Taking advantage of her break time, she lay down on her sofa-bed. Could she continue to practice in the Neonatology Intensive Care Unit? The NICU delicate procedures required stable hands and strong nerves.
Good thing Nick had been too focused on his patient to notice her moment of weakness. But Sandra would probably grill her with questions at the first opportunity. A knock on the door had her jump to the chair in front of her desk and grab her bottle of pills to shove it in her scrubs pocket. Dear Sandra, here she was, straight from OR1. “Come in.”
Nick stood in the doorway. Concern wrinkled his forehead. The man frowned way too often. “I came to apologize for pushing you so hard. I didn’t realize you were so tired until I saw you sitting on the stool.”
So much for thinking he wouldn’t notice what happened at the other end of the OR. Like a good mother hen, Dr. Preston had an extra pair of eyes in the back of his head.
“Don’t worry. The babies are fine and I took my short break. Ready for more now.”
He remained in the doorway and stared straight ahead. A muscle twitched in his neck. “Thank God the babies are doing well.”
The shaking of his head and his somber expression speared her with guilt. He must have noticed her hands’ tremors. Time to confess the whole thing.
“I’m sorry. I should have—”
“It’s not your fault the mother didn’t make it. I’m glad you left before the drama.”
“She didn’t?” Oh God he’d lost a patient. No wonder he looked so depressed. Goosebumps sprouted on her arms at the horrible news and his grim expression.
“We did everything possible to save her.” He raked his hair. Irritation or annoyance?
Dr. Preston had never lost a patient. At least in the last five years he’d worked at St. Lucy’s Hospital. Before Madelyn could say a word, he snorted. “Can you believe she never went to a doctor until this morning, didn’t know she was expecting twins?” Fury twitched his lips and he banged on her door. “The older woman dropped her at the ER, screaming with pain, and then she left right away. The ultra sound revealed the twin pregnancy and the blood tests showed the toxemia.”
“Poor girl.” Pity stabbed Madelyn’s heart for the teenager left to deal on her own with such a difficult situation. “She should have seen a doctor months ago.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, Nick stepped inside her office. The tangs of antiseptic and deodorant permeated his scrubs.
“Between sobs, she managed to give her name, address, phone number, and a little more information. Only sixteen, no money, no job. She and her boyfriend, same age, lived with his mother and her current lover.” His head thrown backward against the door, eyes closed, Nick mumbled. “Damn it, patients don’t die of toxemia nowadays.”
“A shame in this time of advanced medicine.” Madelyn had never seen him so rattled. “Nick, have a seat. You’re so upset.”
His Adam’s apple jumped up and down as he slumped onto her sofa. “I called the woman who brought her here to notify her. She said she didn’t want to have anything to do with Casey Willis who’d been trouble since she came to live with them a year ago. Even accused her of getting pregnant on purpose to trap her innocent son. Casey’s mother is in jail for drugs. There’s never been a father around. Child Protective Services will take care of the twins and maybe put them up for adoption.”
Their work had often exposed them to heart-wrenching cases. Compassion and frustration warred in her mind. “What a pity.” Madelyn’s tongue froze on the words. She put an appeasing hand on Nick’s arm and felt the erratic thump of his pulse under her fingers.
He gulped air as if trying to calm down. “I know we should distance ourselves from our patients and keep our objectivity.”
Easy to say. Even Nick had finally shown a soft side.
“I’m going to check on the preemies before going home. I hope they’ll find a good home and loving family.” She stiffened, the subject of motherhood now a forbidden topic for her, more like a prickly needle in her chest.
“Or they could land with selfish parents who’ll neglect them.” His somber expression darkened even more.
“Most adoptive parents are great. They’ve wanted a child for so long. Oftentimes, they’re better than natural ones.”
“You’re right, but there’s always that one percent who may neglect their kids.”
Today he bordered on negativity. Maybe it was up to her to comfort him. “Unfortunately, child neglect happens way too often. Mostly because the parents are too young, too poor or not ready. It has nothing to do with adoption.”
She patted his hand and offered him a sympathetic smile. “You did your best for Casey Willis. Don’t torture yourself. She’s in a better place. Hopefully praying for her babies to have a good life. A more promising future than she could offer them.”
“You’re right. We did everything to save her, but...” He shook his head. Anger and pain still churned in his blue eyes. “Enough depressing thoughts.” His gaze fell to her fingers covering his. She blushed and withdrew her hand.
“Thank you for listening and for your understanding.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “This case made me so angry. I can’t believe I lost my temper.”
She couldn’t believe it either but abstained from commenting. Was this man the charismatic Nick, the playboy rumored to enjoy life to its fullest and never let worry bother him?
“This sofa is way too comfortable.” He hid a yawn behind his hand. “And tempting,” he added with a glance at the pillow. “Let’s not waste a free afternoon and evening. Kathy Raynes has just arrived and Greg is on-call. Can I treat you to a dinner?”
She blinked. No kidding. He wasn’t wasting time all right.
&nbs
p; “Unless you’re tired. Or you don’t feel like going out.”
“Hmm...” She really wanted to be with him. Not only as a good friend.
Her gaze dropped to his hands—the efficient hands she’d often admired from a professional point of view now rubbed his knees with impatient strokes. How would they feel on her body? Strong and soft at the same time. Last night, he’d held her while dancing, and walking, and helping her in and out of his sports car. He’d taken every opportunity to touch her hands, her waist, her back. And she relished his touch. Unsettling feeling.
“Madelyn, you’re gone again. I’ve never seen you so distracted. Are you sure you’re not coming down with a bug?” He straightened and leaned toward her with his doctor look.
“No bugs. I was debating about going out or having dinner on my balcony.”
“Really? You want to invite me...to your place?” His eyes widened so much she chuckled.
“Yes. You mentioned you are looking for an apartment in my building. I can show you mine, and two neighbors’. Different layouts.” That should keep them pleasantly occupied until dinner, in a friendly way.
“Wonderful idea.” He genuinely returned her smile. “You know, it’s the first time you’ve invited me to your lair.”
They both burst out laughing. Nervous laughter that melted the tense moment. He could be such a good friend. Exactly what she needed. But she’d rather not elaborate on her difficult time in the OR, or confide in him. Nick had enough on his plate right now. Besides she had yet to ponder her future and examine all her options.
“What time?” He stood, flexed his arms, and stretched his back.
“Six o’clock?”
“Perfect.” He looked at his scrubs. She also looked— a bit too long— and lowered her head to hide her blush. “I’ll change. And I’ll be there. Can I bring something?”
“Just yourself. I’ll make the rounds in the NICU before I leave and check on the new twins.” She shoved a stethoscope in her pocket, felt her bottle of pills, and relaxed.
No matter what happened in her life she’d always be a physician above all else. A quick glance at her hands reassured her that things were under control for the moment.
“The babies are lucky to have you for doctor. You’re a darn good neonatologist, Dr. Ramsay.” Good God, could Nick read her mind and guess her new insecurities?
Chapter Three
“They’re so cute,” Sandra said while Madelyn examined one of the twin girls. “Not too small for preemies. Baby A weighs 5 pounds 8 ounces, and Baby B 4 pounds 2. And look at this blond duvet. ”
Madelyn glanced at the small head of Baby A and immediately averted her eyes to the belly where she pressed her stethoscope. Nick’s explanations about the unfortunate Casey had affected her more than she cared to admit. In spite of all the theoretical jargon about doctors staying detached from their patients, she knew that many colleagues experienced what Nick, and now she, were going through. Although... Madelyn frowned, the metallic disc forgotten on the newborn’s skin.
Nick and she weren’t sharing the same feelings. His concern focused on Casey. An excellent OBGYN, he hated losing a patient, because of a stupid mistake—even when it wasn’t his fault. Of course, Madelyn, too, felt sorry for the teenager who had lost her life so young, but now looking at these adorable babies...
“Madelyn, are you done with Baby A? Is something wrong with her?” Sandra touched her arm.
“Yes, I’m done. Doing great.” She stroked the tip of her finger along the baby’s chin and smiled. Baby A jerked her arms and feet as if she wanted to stand. “She’s adorable.”
“Isn’t she? I hope I can have a baby as cute as Pretty One. That’s what I’m calling her,” Sandra added with a laugh.
Madelyn straightened. “I’m sure you and Chuck will have gorgeous kids. Soon.” She patted her friend’s arm. Sandra and her husband had been trying to start a family for more than two years and had even discussed in vitro.
“I hope so. We’re still trying. If nothing happens soon, maybe I’ll ask if I can adopt these two.” Sandra’s eyes filled with a longing Madelyn could well understand. “I called Baby B Little One. She’s small, but I’m sure she’ll catch up with her sister soon.”
“Why don’t you call them, Liana and Celia?” Madelyn blurted.
“Where on earth did you get these names from?”
Embarrassed of her blushing, Madelyn bent over a warmer. “They are the ones I would have given my children if I ever—”
“You, my dear friend, have been ignoring the whole wide world for your work. You could be married by now and have a Liana and a Celia to cuddle. Don’t wait too long. It gets more difficult with age.”
Too late. Her heart heavy with pain, Madelyn cleared her throat. “Any news from Child Protective Services?”
“The hospital called them. They have to contact the young dad. If he doesn’t want the babies, he’ll have to sign an official release. The hospital is also waiting for information about Casey’s mother and her location.”
“I see you’re well informed.”
“How could I not be? Everyone is talking about this latest case.” Sandra shrugged. “The Clinic gossip functions more swiftly than a wireless.”
Never forget that. Madelyn arched her eyebrows. Annoyance and panic engulfed her. The Clinic gossip would operate at double speed for an interesting bit of news related to Dr. Ramsay and her health.
“I’m done here. You can dress the newbies. They’re doing great.” Madelyn typed her report on an electronic pad and moved around the NICU to check the other newborns. On her way out, she passed in front of the incubators. Wailing froze her in her tracks. Baby A was crying.
Madelyn bent toward her, rubbed her stomach, and stroked her cheek. The newbie turned her head. Soft lips grazed Madelyn’s finger. Their touch sent her heart into a tailspin. She wanted to hold and comfort the crying bundle and promise she’d find her a loving family. Like Madelyn’s family. And a loving mother, as loving as Madelyn would have been if she could have children. A sob gurgled in her throat.
“Sandra,” she called, “Please, hold Liana. Don’t let her cry.”
Stunned, the nurse threw her a shocked glance. “Don’t worry. I’m bringing bottles of water. I’ll feed both Liana and Celia,” Sandra added with a knowing tone, her mouth curling at the sides.
“I know they’re in good hands. I didn’t mean... Sorry. I’m leaving. Good night.”
Her emotions in a riot, Madelyn sprinted out of the NICU, before she said another wrong word and hurt her best friend’s feelings.
What a lousy day. First her hands shaking in the OR, then Nick losing a patient and bursting out in irritation; and now those two adorable babies abandoned in her NICU.
Don’t hug them, Dr. Ramsay. A doctor should not get attached to her patients. Especially when the doctor was a pathetic mess who couldn’t have children of her own.
Life was so unfair. With angry movements, she peeled off her scrubs, donned her skirt and shirt, and yanked her purse over her shoulder to go rest at home.
As she reached the lobby, Nick caught up with her. “See you in an hour.”
Her hand clenched on the straps of her bag. “What? Why? We have another emergency?”
His face fell. “Oh? I thought you’ve invited me for dinner. It’s okay if you’ve changed your—”
“Of course not.” A sigh escaped her and she forced herself to smile. “I’m sorry I’m so distracted. I thought... Never mind. See you at six sharp.” She waved at him and rushed to the parking lot.
Would spending time with Nick stress her even more? She’d have to be on constant alert. As a friend he displayed an annoying clairvoyance she couldn’t always avoid. As if he could see beyond her fake smile and guess her problems. So far, she’d been able to divert his medical intuition. But flirting with Nick could lead to a dangerous dead-end way.
What had she started?
***
Nick lowered the canop
y of his BMW and whistled the cheerful tune he usually hummed in the shower. Heavens had finally smiled upon him. His promotion and Madelyn’s good disposition might bring a welcome change and fill the emotional void in his life— a void he’d hidden under a cover of hard work and superficial fun for years.
Not that he’d ever disregard his resolution of no commitment, no marriage. Madelyn seemed to share his outlook on life and, as far as he could tell, she too had avoided marriage, family, and responsibilities unrelated to work. That should make them a good pair. His whistling got louder as the rush hour traffic forced him to decrease his speed to a crawl.
For a change he took the time to observe the large boulevard and the maze of illuminated gardens and twinkling topiaries. In spite of the balmy breeze and warm temperature, the holiday season decorations brightened streets and buildings. Tall and majestic, the palm trees sparkled with spirals of colorful bulbs around their trunks and twinkling garlands swayed between the palm fronds.
The vibrant and crisp colors reminded him of home, years ago when his mother and father still spent Christmas with their little boy like a real family. When Dad requisitioned his help to loop the decorations around the big house and the lavish garden, and Mom issued suggestions and compliments. The Christmas vacation in Connecticut always went too fast. Shipped back to his boarding school in Boston, little Nicky never understood why his parents were always too busy to keep him home like the rest of the kids in their neighborhood.
You were not like the other kids. More precisely, Anne Lee Meyer and Frank Davidson were not made of the usual parent material. Derision over his self-pity eroded the pain of the past.
The Blue Lagoon loomed in front of him and interrupted his musing, thoughts that depressed him if he allowed them. But he’d learned years ago to put a lid on the memories and the anger.
Ten to six. He’d made it on time in spite of the slow-moving traffic. Madelyn had provided an incredible remedy to his gloomy mood. At the reception desk where he signed in, the security guard told him Dr. Ramsay expected him. A big grin widened his mouth.
Sweet and Sassy Baby Love Page 43
