Squeezing her eyelids shut, she felt hot tears slip silently down her face.
“Oh, Robin.” Jonas’s voice was a rich, rumbling baritone. “They didn’t suffer. I know that’s not much consolation. But it’s what I’ve been trying my damnedest to focus on since…” He pressed his lips together, leaving the sentence unfinished.
When he slid his hand over hers, the warmth of his skin gave her more comfort than she’d ever dreamed was possible. His touch seemed to chase away the hated empty feeling in her chest.
Almost of their own volition, her fingers tightened their grip on his. She didn’t want to, but she needed to use this man as a lanyard to tranquility until she could regain her composure.
She could never tell him all that she was feeling. She wasn’t comfortable revealing to him the black, gaping hole that yawned inside her like some bottomless abyss. He would never understand. In fact, he’d most probably laugh or jeer at her vulnerability just as he’d done at little Tony’s christening.
No, she couldn’t let on how much she was hurting. But his presence alone helped her. The warm solidness of him somehow made her feel less susceptible to the threatening desolation.
With a gentleness that nearly took her breath away, Jonas smoothed his other hand along her forearm. Heat penetrated the thin cotton fabric of her sleeve and radiated in concentric waves up her arm.
The void diminished, smaller and smaller, until it was a dark pinpoint that she could easily push to the back of her brain. Jonas had rescued her from falling headlong into the terrible cavern of... of... she wasn’t able to put a name to it. Didn’t want to dwell on the horrible feeling long enough to do so. But Jonas had saved her from it. Without even knowing he’d done anything.
She sniffed, smoothed away the tear track that trailed down her cheek and gave him a small smile. “I’m glad to know that, Jonas. Thank you.”
“And I’ve already contacted my lawyer about suing the owners of the cabin.” His gaze turned suddenly ruthless. “When I finish with them, Tony will want for nothing.”
“Except a mother and father.” The bitter aside slipped from her lips before she could stop it.
His mouth thinned as he nodded ruefully. “You’re right,” he said. “But you and I are going to do what we can. We’re going to give Tony everything we’re able to give.” Then he added, “For as long as we’re able to give it.”
~ ~ ~
Robin inhaled slowly, deeply, somewhere in that pleasant hazy state between deep sleep and alert wakefulness. The scent that enveloped her was warm and woodsy, as if she was walking through a forest in the heat of summer. But in her groggy state, she noticed something else about the bosky aroma. Something different. Something her sluggish rationale couldn’t quite define.
Her subconscious made a valiant effort to snuggle back into the comfort and security of slumber, and it nearly succeeded. But there was something strange about her pillow, the semiconscious part of her argued. Something about it needed to be duly noted, recognized. For her own good.
An audible, sleepy sigh escaped her throat as she made a lethargic effort to discover what it was her brain was warning her against. Twisting her head the tiniest bit, she settled into a warm, unbelievably comfortable niche beneath her cheek. Granted, the pillow wasn’t as soft as what she was used to, but the heat radiating from it more than made up for downy softness she was used to. And there was something about the warm nook that wasn’t right. But the scent was wonderful. Descriptive words floated languidly through her mind; snug... secure... sybaritic... male... Male?
Robin dragged open her slumberous eyelids and leaned forward in an attempt to sit up, but a weight on her shoulder made it impossible.
She blinked, and very slowly, very carefully, she looked down. There snuggled firmly under her breast was a hand. Another was planted on the flat of her stomach. Hands that were not hers, her fuzzy brain reasoned. Male hands. What the…?
Her thinking was becoming clearer with each second that passed. Jonas’s hands.
She was nestled in his arms like a wanton vixen. What in the world would he think?
She lay perfectly still, praying that he, too, had dropped off to sleep. Lifting her gaze so she could view his face, she saw that his eyes were closed, his breathing rhythmic and slow.
He was such a handsome man. Even with a day’s growth of stubble darkening his jaw. Even with his coffee-colored hair untrimmed and hanging over the collar of his shirt.
His brows were as dark as the hair on his head and well formed over his eyes. His nose was straight. Not too big, nor too small, but just right for his face. His cheekbones were strong, angular, as was his jaw line. There were hollows in his cheeks such as those seen on models and health-food fanatics. But Robin was certain Jonas’s hollows had nothing to do with eating veggies and lean meat, but the lack of eating altogether. She nearly chuckled with her next thought. Jonas needed taking care of just as much, if not more, than little Tony.
A warning bell went off in her head. Looking after Jonas was not part of her plan. And it certainly wasn’t part of their deal. Learning to care for her nephew was her top priority. And that’s all she wanted to focus on.
But waking up in his arms had been pure heaven!
The whispered opinion came from somewhere in the back of her brain. Well, she decided, that’s where it will have to return. She couldn’t afford to complicate an already difficult situation by becoming physically attracted to Jonas.
Noticing that her skirt had hitched up to show a healthy slice of her thigh, she stirred just enough so she could tug the fabric somewhat into place.
Jonas straightened in his seat, pulling his arms from around her. He stretched and covered his mouth as he yawned.
“I wonder what time it is?” he murmured, his voice gravelly with sleep. “I must have dozed off.”
Robin said a quick, silent thank-you to her guardian angel. He hadn’t noticed how she’d snuggled close to him. Hadn’t seen her bare leg.
“Sorry I woke you,” she said, meaning every word with every fiber of her being.
He rubbed his hands over his face and raked his fingers through his shaggy hair. “Oh, but I’m the one who’s sorry.”
His grin filled with the kind of mischief that naturally put a person on guard. Robin stopped smoothing the wrinkles out of her blouse and waited.
“I tried like hell to stay awake,” he said. “I was really enjoying the way you were clinging to me. Like a flea on a dog’s back.”
She glared. How could she ever have worried about being physically attracted to this man? All he had to do was open his mouth and he instantly snuffed out any spark of temptation she might have felt for him.
Yes, she had awoken to find herself resting against him. Okay, she admitted, she’d been snuggled up to him pretty closely. Like a wanton vixen, as she remembered silently describing herself. But it was utterly rude of him to liken her to a flea. On a dog’s back, no less! Well, he was a dog, all right. A low-down, dirty dog!
He should have been gentleman enough to not notice, or since he had, at least courteous enough not to mention the obvious.
But what else should she have expected from him? Nothing, she told herself. Absolutely nothing!
She was fuming as the pilot announced the landing at Baltimore Washington International Airport, fuming as she and Jonas grabbed their carry-on bags and departed the plane, fuming as they made their way out of the terminal building and to the auto park where Jonas had left his car. Jonas tried to talk to her, but she refused to explain her anger. Just because she’d married the man didn’t mean she owed him any justification for what she did or how she felt. And she wasn’t his mommy; teaching him good manners wasn’t her job.
The ride from the airport was made in silence except for the soft music playing on the radio.
As he parked the car in the driveway of Amy’s house, he said, “Look, Robin, we’re both tired. And we’re both overwhelmed by everything that’s happened. A
nd we don’t want to upset Tony by letting him see us arguing the first time the three of us are all together.”
“Who’s arguing?” She opened the car door and stepped out onto the asphalt.
Jonas came around the car. “Let’s talk about this. I know you’re angry. But I haven’t figured out why yet.”
She stopped short and whirled on him. “And that only makes me angrier.” She turned to stalk off, but he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder.
“Wait a second,” he said. “Just give me a minute, okay?”
Plunking her fist on her hip, she cocked her head and stared at him.
“You’re mad because I looked at you while you were sleeping?”
The look on her face must have told him he’d hit the bull’s-eye.
His mouth tilted in a smile. “Well, you are my wife.”
Her gaze turned to a glower. “Your gawking isn’t the only reason.”
“What? What else did I do?”
The prudent thing to do was just let it go. She knew that.
She brushed his hand from her shoulder and stormed toward the house.
Jonas jogged to catch her, his light laughter making her shoulder muscles tense all the way up the back of her neck.
“Come on, Robin. I was only kidding.”
“And that’s what comes naturally to you, isn’t it? To joke and laugh and ridicule.”
“Please, just wait.”
But she wouldn’t be stopped.
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” he said, skipping along beside her. “I didn’t think you’d be offended by my looking at you.”
It wasn’t the fact that he’d looked that angered her. No, in fact she was kind of... flattered by the idea.
The thought stopped her dead in her tracks and Jonas’s momentum carried him several steps ahead. She was not flattered by Jonas ogling her in her sleep! Where had that notion come from? Without taking the time to answer the stupid question, or ponder the silly thought of flattery, Robin got back to the original argument. It wasn’t the fact that he’d looked that angered her, it was the fact that he’d thrown it up in her face, joked about how she’d cuddled up to him. She’d been asleep, for heaven’s sake. How could she have known she was using him as a human pillow?
However, what had hurt her the most was the fact that he’d compared her to an insect. An icky, bloodsucking bug! But she had no intention of telling him how she felt or what he’d done. No intention at all of discussing it further. To do so at this point would only turn her into more fodder for his black, vicious humor.
“Look,” she told him, “let’s just drop the whole issue. We need to collect Tony and get him home.”
“So you’re not angry with me anymore?”
“I said I’d drop it, didn’t I?”
One dark brow rose as he teased pointedly, “You didn’t answer my question.”
She only glared.
“Okay, okay. Let’s get the baby.”
Although Amy’s house was in full mid-morning chaos, she had Tony’s things packed and ready for them. Sara’s best friend hadn’t been so sure that Jonas and Robin flying off to Nevada to get married was the best solution, but she wished them the best of luck and told them to call if they ran into any problems with their nephew.
Once they arrived at Jeff and Sara’s home, Robin accepted Jonas’s offer to take charge of Tony so she could get a nap. She knew he’d offered as a way to assuage the animosity she was feeling toward him, but she accepted nonetheless. After the past two days of seesawing emotions and flying back and forth across the country, she could use a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. In exchange, he’d asked if she would mind watching Tony during the evening hours so he could get some work done. She’d agreed, and after giving the baby a quick wave and a bye-bye waggle of her fingers, she’d trudged upstairs to the guest room.
Robin awoke to the sounds of the chirping birds nesting in the tree by her window and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. The clothes she’d slept in were beyond rumpled. Her brain felt so sluggish, it took her a moment to remember where she was and why. With a groan, she padded to the bathroom, stripped and took a quick shower.
A cup of hot coffee was the next order of business. She spied her unpacked suitcase still sitting at the foot of the bed. She slipped into a nightgown and her white knit robe, tying the sash as she went down the stairs toward the kitchen.
Jeff and Sara had chosen a beautiful house. Robin had stayed here for a few days when the baby had been christened. The traditional colonial design had spacious rooms, yet it also had some interesting nooks and crannies. Jonas had told her on the plane that, upon Jeff’s death, the house had been paid for through an insured mortgage. So, she and Jonas had agreed that they should live in the house together so that Tony would have as normal surroundings as possible.
The eat-in kitchen was open and bright. The terracotta tiled floor felt cool under her bare feet. She opened the cabinet above the coffee maker and pulled out a sky blue mug. After filling it with hot, steaming coffee, Robin leaned against the counter and sipped. She cradled the warm ceramic between her palms and looked around the kitchen. Sara had done a wonderful job of making this room inviting. This was Sara’s kitchen and she’d never spend another moment in it. She’d never again use the gleaming mixer, the huge microwave, the state-of-the-art coffee grinder...
I don’t want to feel sad today, Robin thought. And pushing herself away from the counter top, she went in search of Jonas and Tony.
She found Jonas in Jeff’s office. He was sitting at the desk, totally immersed in whatever it was he was working on. Again she was taken aback by how handsome he was. The rich brown color of his hair gleamed in the sunlight pouring through the window. His broad shoulders…
Don’t do this, she scolded. But her eyes continued to feast on him. And, shockingly, her heart began to race.
“Good morning,” she called softly, knowing that alerting him to her presence was the only way to tame these raging hormones she never knew she had.
“Well, hello there,” he said. “You look well rested this morning.”
“I should. I can’t believe I slept so long.”
His smile seemed free of inference, almost charming. But Robin was on her guard.
“Are you angry?”
Bewilderment crossed his brow. “Angry?”
“I was supposed to be on baby duty last night. So you could work.”
“I’m not angry. You obviously needed to sleep. And I got off easy. Tony slept through the night.”
“Oh,” she said, recognizing the disappointment in her voice. Not that the baby had slept soundly, but that Jonas’s initial greeting hadn’t held any hidden umbrage. Heck, he hadn’t even tried to tweak her guilt. Had she come in here spoiling for a fight?
Jonas must have heard the frustration in her tone because his brows rose and he said, “I got a good night’s sleep, too. Does that mean our deal is off?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Could you watch Tony this morning so I can get some work done?”
“Of course.” A lock of her curly hair had fallen into her eyes and she brushed at it. “It was really nice of you to let me sleep.”
“I thought so too,” he said, beaming.
Robin resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
He picked up his red pen. “I do my best work in the morning.”
She took a sip from her mug. “And I take a while to warm up to it.”
One of his dark brows rose. “You’ll be working?”
“I do have a career,” she reminded him. “I have an article that needs finishing. And I thought I’d call the magazine to see if they could give me some position I can fill from here.”
When he didn’t respond immediately, she was impelled to ask, “Do you have a problem with that?”
“Of course not.” He absently smoothed a hand over the paper in front of him. “So I’ll work mornings and you’ll work aftern
oons. Is that feasible?”
She nodded. “I think so.” His last question was almost terse. As though he hadn’t expected her to continue with the magazine. Had he thought she would quit her job outright to take care of Tony? Was he out of his mind?
Well, he’d agreed to a work schedule quick enough, and that’s all that was important really.
“Where is he?” She kept her tone pleasant, hoping to keep the conversation on the right track.
“Still sleeping,” Jonas said, his tone still edgy. But his words softened as he continued. “I guess the little guy has been through a lot in the past few days.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “Poor thing’s going to have a rough time of it.”
Jonas nodded solemnly.
“Maybe I’ll take him out this morning,” she said. “If you’ll point the way to the park, we’ll get out of your hair for a while. Maybe I’ll check the pantry and stop off at the grocery store on our way home.”
“Sounds good.”
“Mama. Mama. Maaaaaama.”
The monitor on the kitchen counter magnified Tony’s voice and the sounds of him rustling around in his crib as clear as day even though they were in the office. Robin smiled.
“Sounds like he’s awake,” she said, setting her mug down on credenza. “I’ll go bring him down for some breakfast. You go ahead with your work.”
She hurried up the stairs and down the hall. The door of the baby’s room was ajar and she pushed it open and went inside.
Robin smiled brightly. “Good morning!”
Tony froze where he stood at the crib railing, his wide, brown eyes filling with fear.
If she had stopped long enough to think, she’d have realized that she should never have approached the crib. But she was so intent on calming the baby’s anxiety that she didn’t think, she simply acted.
Tony didn’t move a muscle until she was within reaching distance. When she held out her hands to him, he screamed as though she were an evil, ugly troll. He scrambled to the far corner of his bed, even though she crooned reassuring words to him.
Sweet and Sassy Baby Love Page 91
