by Maggie Walsh
“What? No! They couldn’t do that to poor Clove. The man was a good man who was only confused and hurting. They needed to let him speak and say his piece. They needed…shit! Tobias needed to do something, but if he shifted now in the vent, he would be stuck. He needed to get out of there now and find Clove.”
As much as he wanted to stay and hear whatever else Destrain and Illan were discussing, he needed to get to Clove more. Without another minute to waste, Tobias turned from the vent opening and scurried down further, checking in each room as he came to another vent. He found offices, a break room, and even a cafeteria, which was big and looked nice, but they all stood empty.
Determined not to give up, Tobias continued on until once again he heard voices, but this time the voices were hushed. Even though whoever it was had been talking low, Tobias could still feel and scent the pain and sorrow rolling off the person in waves.
He crept over to the vent screen leading into the room and peered inside. He found a cute guy with his head shaved on both sides and longer hair on the top and back, like a long mohawk but instead of sticking up, it hung down over one side of his face and it was colored bright pink with purple and blue streaks in it. The cutie had the same stunning lavender eyes as Destrain.
Tobias remembered seeing the man around Maddox a time or two, but he had never met him. As he stared at the cutie, suddenly a name came to him. Twix. This was Twix, Rhys’s cousin and the owner of Twixie’s, the new diner in Maddox where he had eaten the best food he had ever tasted in his life. And if he remembered correctly from what everyone said, Twix was Destrain’s son. Well, one of them. Which meant…that he was Clove’s son as well?
Tobias moved closer to the vent screen and concentrated on what they were saying. Yes, he was a shifter and had heightened senses, but the two were talking so low he could barely make out what they were saying.
“Papa, I know things have been overwhelming for you and it hasn’t been easy, but you need to give Dad a break.”
Clove lifted his head, his gaze meeting Twix’s, a stunned look in his eyes. “I need to give him a break? Desdain, I have tried very hard to catch up and fit in since I was brought back. This world and all the others have moved on without me, son, as they should. People die every day, but the world doesn’t stop spinning, time doesn’t freeze, and life goes on. But it’s not easy for someone like me. The last time I was here was before the Shuite War. When that began, Destrain got us out of there and created Shadowfox so we would be safe. I know others have come back and forth between our two realms, but I was never one of them, so for that alone I am behind on the times, but now…” Clove let his words trail off.
Twix looked at his birth father with narrowed eyes, then grabbed his hand and said, “That’s the biggest load of crap I have ever heard and trust me, I hear a lot of crap living with Jett.”
Clove opened his mouth to speak, but before he could Twix continued, “Thousands of our people had never come here before, like you hadn’t been here since the war, but they all came once the dragon and phoenix reunited, hoping for a better life. One that they could explore and hopefully find their true mates. You know once the war was over that no paranormal found their true mate again until Day and Ethan claimed each other. Actually, Jett and Zev found each other first, but that’s a long story.
“Anyway, our people, as well as the elves and some of the fairies now, have come here with no knowledge of anything, just like you are saying, but Rhys and I set up free help centers in Maddox and Crystal for anyone who wants to learn how to do these things. From working all appliances in a home to driving a car, to working a cell phone or computer, or ordering online. Whenever any paranormal and a few humans believe it or not, find they need help learning with this stuff, they can go to either center and take the classes they need.
“As for you personally, I know for a fact that Dad, as well as Uncle Dain, and Rhys, have all tried to help you. So enough of the excuses and who-ha. What’s really going on?” Twix finished.
Clove looked at his son with narrowed eyes and a small smirk on his face. “Who-ha?”
Twix chuckled. “Yes, I realize that some of the lingo that is used now is hard to figure out and confusing, but one quick question to someone about what things mean, clears that right up. So in terms maybe you’ll understand better, stop pissing in my ear and trying to convince me it’s raining, or in other words, stop trying to blow smoke up my ass. Tell me the truth.”
Clove laughed softly as he shook his head. “Well, you certainly have a colorful vocabulary. It matches your hair and clothes.”
Tobias saw Twix tense up for a moment. He was afraid Clove had hurt his son and Twix would leave. But then Twix gave his father a bright smile and flipped a strand of his hair over one shoulder. “Yes, I do, and I am very happy with who I am. I am comfortable in my skin and my appearance. I love this life I have found for myself and who I have become. And not to hurt your feelings or anything, but I am a grown man and make my own choices and decisions and you can either accept that, all of me, or that’s your own hang-up and I won’t let it stand in my way.”
Clove clutched Twix’s hand as his eyes filled with panic. “No, Desdain, that’s not what I was saying at all. You are my son and I will always love you no matter what. And I agree. You have made a wonderful life here for yourself, and you have grown into an amazing man who I am so proud of. I am very happy for you, son, and only wish you the best life possible. I only wish I had half your courage. Maybe if I did I wouldn’t be in this mess right now.”
“So, what is it, Papa? Why are you giving Dad such a hard time? I thought for sure once you were reunited that the two of you would just fall into each other’s arms again. I remember how in love the two of you were when I was growing up, and Rhys and I always dreamed of having what you and Dad have some day. You two and the love you shared is what made me leave Shadowfox to begin with.”
Clove’s eyes opened wide in surprise. “What? What do you mean?”
“It was your love for one another that was so beautiful, that I longed for it myself, but I knew I would never find it in the pixie realm. Being the son of the king and his consort, I pretty much met every pixie there was and never met my true mate. I knew he wasn’t there, so that only left me with two options. I could stay in Shadowfox and continue on alone and pining for what you had, or settle for someone who wasn’t my mate and maybe be happy. Or I could put my big girl panties on and explore other realms to see if my mate was out there somewhere. I never meant to hurt either of you with my leaving, or cause you so much pain, but it was something I had to do.”
“I thought you left because you didn’t want to be king?”
Twix shrugged then replied, “That too. I knew from the time I was a little boy that I was not meant to be king. I don’t know how I knew, I just did, but no one would listen to me. Well, no one but Rhys. You, Dad, Uncle Dain, just all kept insisting that I would grow up to be the next pixie king, with no one ever listening to me. Well, Dad did listen a little and told me he understood, but with me being the only heir, it would still come to me. So, with no one being concerned with what I wanted, I knew I had to leave. I had to find myself and hopefully my mates, and then maybe I would be ready for when the time came for me to take over Shadowfox. Fortunately for me, Avery has been found and he is going to be the next pixie king.”
Tobias saw Clove tense up and his jaw clench tight as he said, “Yes, Avery.”
Just as he said it the door opened, and Rhys walked in.
CHAPTER 5
“I’m sorry to interrupt and put my nose in, but I feel like I must,” Rhys said, then closed the door behind him and made his way over to join them on the couch. “Uncle Clove, I know all of this is so strange and confusing to you and having found out about Avery makes you feel cheated somehow, but you need to know what Uncle Destrain went through after you died.”
He didn’t really want to hear this, but he knew his nephew and his son wouldn’t let him go until he
did. How could he make them understand that he didn’t hate Avery, he just felt…like he had failed, every time he saw the young man. He even understood when Destrain told him about Avery’s mother and how they were only friends, who one night both needed the comfort of another, but his guilt over not giving Destrain the next heir was what was eating him up. Guilt. That’s how he lived these days. With guilt. A whole shit load of it as Desdain would say.
“Look, Rhys, sweetheart, thank you for wanting to help, but I’m afraid these are things I will just have to work out for myself.”
“Yeah, and how’s that working for you so far?” Rhys asked point blank.
Rhys’s blatant question threw him for a loop and he wasn’t sure how to answer it.
“You’ve been trying to do things alone and work them out for yourself since you came back, but unfortunately, you’re further away from your goal now than you were the day you returned. So, my next question is, do you want to be right, or do you want to fix this?”
Again, he was at a loss for words and didn’t have a clue what to say. “Of…course I…want to …fix this.”
“You don’t sound very sure,” Twix said, and Clove could hear a slight hint of hurt in his voice.
“I think it’s time you got hit with the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. And you know what they say about the truth, right?” Rhys stated.
“It hurts like hell, but is usually called for,” Twix replied.
“Exactly, and in this case, it is definitely called for. I was there when Twix left, and I know how much you and Uncle Destrain worried. I know to you both it was like your child had died and not just gone off to find himself. I remember the tears and the mourning, as well as the way you both turned to one another and clung to each other in comfort, helping one another get through the heartache. You were parents actually mourning the loss of a child, but the love you had for each other helped you move on. Do you remember how devastated you were when Twix left?” Rhys asked.
“Of course, I do,” Clove answered, with tears in his eyes and a lump of emotion stuck in his throat. Just thinking about that day when they found that Twix had left, brought back all the grief and worry. He looked to Twix and grabbed onto his hand tighter. “I felt like you had died, and I’d lost you forever. Most mornings I couldn’t even get out of bed. I couldn’t function. The day after you were gone, Destrain opened a portal and sent a legion of Griffion and pixie warriors to try and find you. It was that small glimmer of hope that they would return you home where you would be cared for and safe, that kept us both going.”
“I’m sorry I put you through that, Papa,” Twix whispered, as tears of his own ran down his cheeks.
“Uncle, remember that feeling? Now how did you get through that time? How were you able to move on?” Rhys asked.
Clove was confused by his question. As he said, Rhys had been there when Twix left. He had seen everything he and Destrain had gone through. All the heartache and pain. “It wasn’t easy. You were there, Rhys, you know we searched for years for Desdain.”
“Yes, I know, but how did you get through it? How did you not just curl up and die? How did you finally get out of bed?”
Clove’s heart filled with love from the memory and he gave them a watery smile. “My Destrain. He was my rock. He spent almost all day, every day with me and we worked together to do whatever we could to find our Desdain. Without Destrain, I…I know I would have just stayed in that bed and withered away until I died.”
“Exactly, but Uncle Destrain reminded you that Twix wasn’t dead, just out there trying to find something and because he was still alive, there was always hope he would return, or that you would find a way to be reunited someday. He got you to finally see that you shouldn’t be mourning the loss of a child, but celebrating that Desdain was old enough, and brave enough to go out into the world and try to make it on his own,” Rhys said.
“Yes. Destrain opened my eyes and gave me that hope.”
“So now who was there to do that for him when you actually did die? When he didn’t have the strength or the will to even get out of bed. Who was there to wrap their arms around him and comfort him? Yes, Dad, Casimir, Aracas, and I were there, and we tried everything to help him, but it wasn’t the same as having you there to hold him, to tell him everything would be alright, or to give him hope that it was only a bad dream, or a mistake, and he would see you again someday.
“For over a year, he hardly ever got out of bed. Only when one of us forced him to because he had some kind of kingly business to attend to. For the longest time he wouldn’t shower, change his clothes, or even eat. He lost so much weight and looked like he was at death’s door. It killed me inside to have to watch him suffer so. He was dying right there before our eyes, a slow and agonizing death, and there was nothing we could do about it,” Rhys continued explaining as tears ran down his face as he sobbed.
“Oh, Rhys,” Clove whispered brokenly and pulled his nephew into his arms.
“I tried so hard, Uncle, but nothing would help him. We had always heard the pain of losing a mate was so great that the one left behind would also die from a broken heart, and I had to sit there and watch as one of my favorite people in the world just faded away before my eyes. I had already lost Desdain, then you, and now Uncle Destrain was about to leave me too. I couldn’t let that happen. You know I had been training to be his assistant for some time, and I worked a little here and there in the office, but when he wouldn’t conduct pixie business, that’s when I officially became his assistant and tried to keep things going while he took the time he needed to grieve.
“But then one day things just got to be too much, you know, and I couldn’t sit there and watch him anymore, so I shook him, like physically shook him, until he saw me. For the first time in a long time, he actually saw me when he looked at me. That’s when I told him he couldn’t go because I needed him. Desdain needed him. Our people needed him. I told him that yes, Desdain had gone away but that didn’t mean that he would stay away, and that we had to hold onto hope that he would come back.” Rhys wiped his eyes and reached for the tissue box on the side table, then grabbed a tissue and blew his nose.
Once Rhys felt he had more control, he began to speak again. “Something inside him heard me and he finally got up and took a shower, then dressed, and headed for his office. Scared the crap out of the guards, I’ll tell you. He started yelling out orders and calling for the Griffions. It was then that he started the search for Desdain again. He said he couldn’t join his Clove in the afterlife until he’d found Desdain and told him about you. Then he slowly began to come back to us. And even after all this time, he has never been the same man he was before you died. You took a piece of him with you.”
Clove sobbed from Rhys’s last words as he wrapped his arms around his stomach and leaned over, curling up on himself. Twix laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and pleaded, “Papa, please let us help you.”
“I’m so ashamed, Desdain, Rhys.”
“Oh no, Uncle, there is nothing to be ashamed of,” Rhys said quickly and wrapped an arm around Clove’s shoulders.
Clove loved the warmth and love he could feel coming from his boys. Rhys might not have been his by blood, but Rhys was always special to him. With Dain not being around too often when Rhys was growing up, he and Destrain would take Rhys along with Desdain on most of their outings, and he and Des loved having him there. Rhys was like a brother to Desdain. Now here Clove sat between his two grown sons who had each met their mates and had children of their own, and they were comforting him. They were trying to care for him and be his rock, just like Des used to be. No, like Destrain still was. He was still here every day trying everything he could to help Clove get through this time in his new life. Destrain had shown him great love and patience, like he always had, and what did he do? He dumped on the man at every turn. It wasn’t his mate's fault that he felt so out of place and alone. It wasn’t Destrain’s fault that he felt so guilty.
&nbs
p; “Papa, what is it? What makes you think that you have anything to be ashamed for?” Twix asked.
Clove sat up and looked them both in the eyes before everything came spilling out of him. He told them about how he had been feeling and why. He told them about his afterlife and how happy he was, about how that now made him feel so guilty and ashamed. Then he told them about what Jensen had said, and how for the first time since he had been brought back by the gods, that he felt hopeful. But then the thing with Tobias happened and Destrain went crazy. Now he just didn’t know what to do. Des wouldn’t talk to him and they wouldn’t let him go to Tobias. He had never felt so much pain in his heart as he did in that moment, thinking about how much he had hurt Destrain and how he may have lost him forever.
* * * *
Tobias listened to everything they said and cried for both his mates. Destrain sounded like a good man, an honorable man, who was so full of love and desperate to share it. He had been nearly destroyed when his mate died, but he had been able to pull himself up and go on because others needed him. Tobias was so proud to have a mate like that and wished he, Clove, and Destrain could find a way to be together.
With a new conviction to find Destrain and talk to him, Tobias moved on and followed the vent back to the room Destrain had been in before, but when he got there the room was empty. Tobias started out again following the vent for what seemed like an hour until he came across a room full of voices. He looked through the vent grate and saw that he was facing toward the ceiling in a large room that looked almost like a courtroom, and in that room was the man he was looking for.
