by M Brereton
As Eva and Roland flirted shamelessly with one another, the rest of the dinner guests watched them cautiously while casting pitiful glances at Noah and Veronica. A swift kick under the table had Eva glaring at Noah, then she ‘accidentally’ dropped her fork and poked him in the leg under the table when she picked it up. He let her flirt after that.
Similarly, Veronica tried to get Roland’s attention, but he buzzed her off as though she were an annoying fly. One of her kicks even shook the table causing Roland to complain aloud, “What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m not feeling well,” Veronica announced.
“We have an excellent guest room here if you need to lie down,” Eva suggested.
“Thanks, Eva.” Roland beamed at her. “Come on honey we can get you settled.”
“We?” Veronica huffed as she glared at Eva. She threw down her napkin and stood. “I’ve had enough of you.” She told Eva who stood as well.
“It took you long enough,” Eva said, lowly.
Noah quickly took stock of the weapons near Eva and started dragging away silverware as he begged, “Don’t do this, Eva.”
“I’m not doing anything,” Eva replied, still watching Veronica.
“You’re the First Lady. I doubt the American people would look kindly on me messing up your pretty face.”
“The Secret Service is outside. They won’t interfere or are you just making excuses?”
“I don’t think this is called for…” Roland began as he was shoved aside into the dining table by Veronica. She threw a punch which Eva easily sidestepped as she discreetly picked up Roland’s steak knife. She kept it hidden at the side as she easily dodged Veronica’s strikes.
Eva continued to toy with her until Veronica got a hit in, then things got deadly as Eva retaliated, bringing the knife into play. Roland stepped in to stop her and Noah shouted, “Don’t touch her!” but his warning came too late and Roland was slammed into the wall, the knife embedded in his palm. Eva didn’t pause in her attack though picking up another and pinning a shocked Veronica by her throat as she reached for her husband.
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Noah shouted, causing the shocked spectators to jump. “Eva, I said enough!” Noah gritted out as he saw the blood trickle from Veronica’s throat.
Eva backed away, removing the knife from Veronica. Then as she passed Roland she muttered softly, “Sorry,” and pulled the knife from his hand. She deposited it in front of Noah saying slowly, “I told you I didn’t want to do this.” before walking out.
“Take care of his hand,” Noah ordered as he chased after Eva. Once he caught up to her he dragged her in the den, slamming the door shut. He rounded on her, fist raised and stopped. She wasn’t even going to fight him if he hit her. She had her eyes closed waiting for the blow. Noah turned angrily away from her pacing as he ranted, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He stepped up to her and shook her asking, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“She threw the first punch, I recall.” Eva countered softly staring at the floor.
“After you provoked her into it!” Noah pointed out.
“You’re still taking her side,” Eva said softly.
“You stabbed Roland in his hand!” Noah pointed out. “This is no longer about you and Veronica!”
“It has always been about Veronica,” Eva stated coldly. “Would you have been happier if I let her hit me?”
“You could’ve blocked those, you toyed with her!” Noah argued, “Fact is, you should’ve acted like an adult and just…”
“Just what!” Eva argued. “Let you fuck her!”
“This isn’t about that!” Noah countered.
“No, it isn’t,” Eva agreed “It’s about you worshiping her and me being the bad guy. I’m sorry you got stuck with me. I’m sorry I’ll never be like her!” Eva cried, “and I’m sorry I’m nothing but an embarrassment to you.” She slid her wedding band off and handed it to him “You deserve better and I deserve someone who truly loves me.”
“Eva?” Noah called as she turned to walk out.
“I can’t change, Noah! This… thing inside me won’t let me and you hate it and I hate it. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired, Noah.” Eva wept, then left the room.
Noah stood there with Eva’s wedding band and contemplated if he should really let her go. It took him a split second to decide, no and it wasn’t because of the presidency or even their family. It was because selfishly he couldn’t see another man touching her and secondly, he didn’t want her to end up like Cooper.
He was about to chase after her when Roland came in with a bandage around his hand. “A doctor was called. When she gets here, she’ll have to put in some stitches. She missed the bones. In the meantime, you talk!”
“Can’t this wait? Eva’s …”
“I have a fucking bandage around my hand. Everyone else is gonna wait.” Roland said calmly.
“Eva doesn’t like Veronica.”
“No shit!” Roland responded sarcastically. “Why?”
“Veronica kissed me a few years ago when we just got married.”
“I see,” Roland muttered. “Seems like Roni’s been keeping a few secrets.
“Trust me, she doesn’t keep ‘em like Eva.”
“Speaking of which, who trained her?” Roland asked.
“No one you’d want to meet,” Noah muttered to himself.
“I sense there’s a back story to that.” Roland surmised
Noah sighed, “I can’t tell you. It’s Eva’s life and it’s complicated.” He said finally.
But Roland pressed, “I read her bio. She’s messed up isn’t she.”
Noah nodded.
“Yeah, the look she had was like Vets going through PTSD. That’s why you told me not to touch her.” Noah nodded again, and Roland griped, “I should have listened. Is she okay?”
“She stabbed you and you want to know if she’s alright?” Noah asked in shock.
“Yeah. I know she didn’t do it on purpose. I also know if any woman did that to me, Roni would probably act the same way. In a way, she did.” Roland chuckled.
“You’re cool with Eva acting the way she did?” Noah questioned hesitantly.
“I understand if that’s what you’re asking. Not cool with being stabbed, but I understand.” Roland said and as saw the look on Noah’s face he added “You think she messed up, but the way I see it, you shouldn’t have brought them together. That was playing with fire. I think you wanted them to fight over you. Hell, I don’t blame you, a guy has fantasies. And after what I went through undercover, Eva’s antics don’t scare me. Antonio was way worse and just as good with the blade.”
Noah paled, and Roland saw and remarked, “I’ll be damned. How?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Shorten it.”
“He wanted to marry her.”
“That sick fuck!” Roland stated. “No wonder she’s messed up if she hung around him. But I never saw her with Antonio, but then again when he went for women he didn’t take an entourage.” He was silent for a while and then said “Can I talk to her? Let her know I’m not mad.”
Was Roland falling for Eva, Noah wondered? How else could he be so understanding? And more importantly, did he want him near her right after she gave up her ring? He needed to talk to Eva, so he said. “I have to find her.”
“Then let’s go find her.”
“I don’t think Veronica would be okay with this.” Noah hedged.
“I’m wounded, brother. I’m getting away with murder.” Roland joked, lifting his hand.
“Alright.” Noah conceded as he led him upstairs.
16
Let Me Go
They found Eva in the master bedroom dressed in an oversize shirt, crying on their four-poster bed. “Roland wants to speak to you.” Noah greeted.
“Hey.” Roland greeted then walked over to the bed, “I stopped bleeding, so you can stop crying about it.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong wi
th me.” Eva wept.
“There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect. The world is wrong. It tries to steal your happiness. Don’t let it.”
“I do bad things. I’m a monster.” Eva told him tearfully.
“You fight back. There’s a difference.” Roland countered. “I did a lot of bad things when I fought back. It didn’t make me a monster. You do what you did to survive. It makes you stronger. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”
Eva’s tears dried up and she looked at Roland as if she was seeing him for the first time. Then she threw herself at him saying, “I thought no one understood. I didn’t mean it. I had to. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Eva.” Roland soothed as he stroked her hair. “Now, Noah knows not to piss you off and don’t worry about the hand, it’s gonna be fine.”
To Noah’s shock, Eva kissed Roland’s bandaged hand and snuggled into him sniffling as he continued to soothe her.
“Eva?” Noah called, effectively pulling her away from Roland. “Are we good?” Then Noah’s heart cracked as she looked at Roland first who nodded then she nodded at him. “Roland, I think the doctor should be here. Why don’t you go check?” Noah told him, suddenly wishing his long-lost friend would have stayed lost.
Roland understood the tactic and stood with Eva still leaning against him. “I have to go.” He told her as though it pained him to do so. “I’ll let you know what the doctor says about the hand. Until then try not to stab anyone else okay.” Eva nodded mutely with a teary smile as Roland kissed her on her forehead with Noah glaring behind him. “I must say Miss Evaline you certainly left your mark on me.” Roland teased as he left.
Eva stood smiling fondly at the doorway long after he had gone, and it hurt Noah to see that look on her face. A look, he thought was only reserved for him. A look of adoration.
“Eva, we need to talk,” Noah said and just like that the smile was gone and back was the bitter woman he knew. Was it his fault she was this way? Somewhere along the line in their many arguments, he had turned her into this. Now he wanted the woman that Roland made her become.
“Are you mad at me?”
Silence greeted him.
“Eva, how do you feel about Roland?” Noah asked, and the smile came back, but she squelched it quick when she saw him watching her. “You still love me, don’t you?” Noah asked, needing to hear the words from her.
“Why do you ask me that?” Eva questioned.
“Why don’t you give me a straight answer?”
Eva looked away as she muttered, “Roland just met me, and he understands. Why don’t you?”
“Roland met the real you. I met a lie. Sometimes it’s hard to reconcile the two.” Noah responded bitterly.
“And you’re always mad at me.” Eva pointed out. “You make me cry.” She added as her falling tears proved her point. “I hate crying all the time. You make me cry all the time. I don’t think I’m supposed to be unhappy married to the man I love. Maybe…maybe I’d be better off …without …you.”
Now it was Noah’s turn to weep as he countered, “You can’t leave me. I won’t let you leave me!”
“I want to be happy Noah and you don’t make me happy.”
“I can make you happy.” Noah declared, “I’ll do whatever you want! Tell me what you want!”
“I shouldn’t have to tell you,” Eva stated softly. “I can stay until your term is up then…”
“I don’t want you to fucking stay if you’re doing me a favor!” Noah cried. “I want you to stay because you love me!”
“I do love you…”
“Then why do you want to leave me?”
“Because I need to love myself.” Eva decided.
“And fucking Roland would be a nice little bonus, wouldn’t it?” Noah gritted out snidely.
“I knew you wouldn’t understand,” Eva said softly. “You have never understood me. You treated me like the rest. You claimed me like a trophy and used me. I’m done being used. I’m filing for a divorce.”
“I didn’t use you!” Noah cried “I loved you. I still love you! Tonight, I made a mistake. It was all my fault. I didn’t mean to get mad at you! PLEASE, EVA. DON’T DO THIS!”
“I need some time alone…”
“I can give you that.” Noah conceded quickly. “Anything you want. You need space. I can give you space. Just don’t do anything we’ll both regret.”
Eva was silent for a while then told him “We may not be sleeping together for a while.”
“I can live with that.” Noah agreed quickly then dropped to his knees and grasped her left hand. “Please baby, I know I do stupid things…”
“And I always forgive you,” Eva finished as she stepped away from him. “You never had to work for me, did you? I came eagerly. Maybe that was my fault. This time you’ll do the work.” Eva declared as she opened the door.
Noah got the hint and got up. He walked over and tried to kiss her, but she turned away again.
“Are you leaving me?”
“Not officially yet, but I may as well be as far as you’re concerned. You’ll have no problem finding somewhere else to sleep, after all, you did it for two years.”
As Eva slammed the door behind him, all Noah could think was what would have happened if he had just kept his big mouth shut all those years ago when Veronica kissed him.
* * *
Their relationship or lack thereof progressed at downhill speed. Eva still wasn’t wearing her ring and only spoke to him in the context of his work and their children. She kept him at a polite distance as one would a new acquaintance and in none of their interactions did she even act like they were ever intimate.
Noah was left with no choice, but to play by her rules. On the upside, she did seem happier, less stressed and more relaxed. It made him realize just how much damage he’d done every time he pushed her away. In the months that passed, he saw her smile and laugh more, he came to understand what she needed. She needed not just a break from him, but a break from worries. Worrying about what he thought, his judgments, his accusations. She wanted the freedom to just be without his constant censorship, to be loved as she is.
What really pissed Noah off was that it was Roland that showed her what she was missing, and she still spoke with him over the phone. After their disastrous conversation in their bedroom, she came to him two days later and asked for his number and if it was alright that she was friends with Roland. His initial reaction was to fly to France and remove Roland’s dick, but he had to start trusting her, so he gave it to her.
Her talks with Roland had strangely improved the way she related to him. She was warmer, more approachable and less tense when she did. The staff and security loved the new Eva. She was more playful and less on guard, but Noah wished he was the reason behind it.
This line of thinking is what was bothering him for the past four months. If Eva was this happy just speaking with Roland, how much happier would she be if she was with him? It also made him come to a decision. He would give her up. She was obviously happier without him so keeping her was just him being a selfish ass. It tore him apart to think about life without her, but he knew it was right and it was what she needed.
They were on their way to Guam aboard Air Force One, a trip Eva insisted on going even though Noah told her it wasn’t safe, lost in their own duties until Noah blurted out. “I’m okay with it.”
“Okay with what?” Eva asked absently.
“You leaving. I’m okay with it.” Noah clarified. “You were right. I do make you cry and I like seeing you happy and if someone else does that, you go be happy.”
“Oh, Noah!” Eva cried as she crossed the distance between them. “I’m so glad you’re so understanding about this. I can stay till…”
“No, you don’t.” Noah declared. “Olivia can take over your duties and we can just make an announcement when we get back.”
“Are you sure about this?” Eva asked. “Wayland may not be happy…”
&n
bsp; “This is about you being happy!” Noah declared “Too many times you’ve had to sacrifice it. Just be happy, Eva. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”
“Thank you,” Eva muttered softly. “I want you to be happy too.”
“I don’t think it’s gonna work out that way,” Noah admitted.
“Noah, I don’t want to hurt you, but I like not being…”
“Criticized to death.” Noah supplied.
“Noah do you even think maybe you need to make some changes,” Eva suggested hesitantly. “I love you and that’s not going to change but maybe if you could…”
“Be like Roland?” Noah interrupted, and Eva looked away from him, nodding.
“Do you love him, Eva?” Noah whispered.
“No,” Eva admitted shaking her head. “I just like the way he makes me feel. He lets me be. He doesn’t judge.” She finished staring at him.
“I grew up where right was right and wrong was wrong. Roland grew up the same way. It’s just his experiences on the other side that made him more understanding. I find it hard to just look the other way when you do something I know is wrong. I want to help you be …”
“Good.” Eva supplied.
Noah nodded as he continued, “I just think that maybe you should try to be less…”
“Dangerous.” Eva supplied.
“No. Careless.” Noah corrected and began to whisper. “I’m always worried that someone would find out about you. I just want to keep you safe.”
“If someone finds out then we deal with it,” Eva said boldly, “To be honest I’m way past the point of caring about what the world thinks of me. They never lived my life and they don’t know me. Your opinion has been the only one that mattered.” Eva admitted. “I think doing that was also a mistake. I put you on a pedestal as to what everyone should be, what I should be. I shouldn’t have put so much stock in what you felt about me. I lived for so long seeking approval from everyone I met because I was afraid they’d leave me if I wasn’t. I was never myself. I was always what everyone wanted to be. I like being myself. I just want you to love that person too.”
