I’m fucked and I’m fucked up, something that I continue to do every minute of every goddamn day.
“Fuck,” I rasp. “Avah.”
I should have called her again, should check on my phone, but I’m too fucking drunk to remember to do that or to even read the small as shit text on my phone. Growling, I realize that Taz is right.
I’m a pussy.
I run away.
I told myself that this time, with Avah, that it was different and that I was different, but I did the same fucking shit. I ran from her just when I could have built something good with a woman that I actually liked, a gorgeous woman, I ran.
“You need me,” a soft voice practically sings.
Turning my head to the side, I blink. “Sable?”
“Yeah,” she purrs. “Miss you.”
She doesn’t miss me. I’m not that drunk. However, she’s pretty and here. I’m naked and missing Avah. It’s a shit thing to do, but I’m a shitty fucking human. Lifting my head, I bring the bottle to my lips and take another pull of booze.
The water continues to beat against me, this time pouring over my head and shoulders. “Suck,” I demand.
Her lips curve up into a grin. “Only if I can stay.”
Lifting my hand, I wrap my fingers in the back of her hair. “You aren’t in the position to make deals, bitch,” I growl.
She doesn’t even flinch, her lips parting as though she loves this shit, which she probably does. I could see a bitch like her getting off on it all. Pissing off a man to the point of wanting to knock the absolute shit out of her. She better be careful, some men don’t have control and will do just that.
“Where you been? You took off after my daughter beat the shit out of you.”
“Knew I was going to get kicked out for fucking with an Old Lady. Licked my wounds, but I’m back now.”
“Why?” I demand.
“It’s not all that great out there, Hawk.”
“Yeah?”
She nods her head as her gaze focuses on mine. “I wanted to be an Old Lady. That’s all I wanted. I wanted to be safe. Being out there, alone, I realize that I was safe here.”
“You were, but you fucked it up.”
“Let me make it better,” she purrs.
Better? She better just watch her fucking back, but my dick is hard from flicking my gaze between her bare tits and her full lips. I’m not going to deny my dick anything, never have.
“Suck and fuck me, then we’ll talk when I’m sober.”
“Oh god,” she moans. “You’re going to have a hard cock and not be able to come, aren’t you?”
“Get ready, baby.” I chuckle. “I’m fucking all your pretty holes tonight.”
Chapter Seven
AVAH
I moan as I roll from my back to my side and stare at my closed bedroom door. I know that Keaston is somewhere on the other side. He hasn’t left my side since he came over yesterday morning and now, he says he’s going to come to work with me, then get food and make me dinner.
Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I look down and cringe at the way my belly rolls. Six-months ago I would have gone on a juice cleanse and spent every waking hour in the gym at the thought of a belly roll.
Though the urge to completely get rid of every ounce of fat on my body is still strong inside of me, I have been fighting it. Not only because I know it’s not healthy, but also because I’m no longer required to be perfect and a fantasy.
Fantasy.
I snort.
There is nothing sexy about a girl with daddy issues who surgically altered almost every part of the body that she sells for money because she’s uneducated and has low self-esteem. There’s absolutely nothing sexy about that.
Nothing fantasy-worthy.
Nothing.
Slipping from bed, I shuffle over to the bathroom and take care of business before I brush my teeth, then I grab my long sweater that I used for a robe and make my way out to the living room.
I’m surprised to see that Keaston is dressed, his hair damp from the shower, as he sits on my small sofa, his phone in hand.
“I can’t believe you slept on that thing,” I grunt, pointing toward the love seat that has sheets draped across it and a pillow.
He lifts his head, his eyes finding mine and a kind smile tugs on his lips. “I did. Maybe we should go to my place tonight, my couch is bigger,” he informs me.
My eyes widen and I blink as I stare at him. “I can’t,” I whisper.
“He ain’t here and you ain’t his.”
“What are you asking me, really?”
His lips stay turned up, a smile planted on them as his eyes look up and down my body. “Babe,” he snorts.
“Yeah?” I ask.
He shakes his head once. “You’re hot as fuck. You’re being stalked and my place is bigger. You’ll stay with me.”
I don’t ask him, but the first thing that comes to mind is, at what cost? Pressing my lips together, I walk past him and into the kitchen, silently starting my Keurig. I think about his words, think about what he’s truly asking me, what he really means.
I’m lost in my head, thinking and going over what he’s saying, over and over, until I feel something warm against my waist. My breath hitches when his front presses against my back.
I hold my breath, waiting for him to do more, for his hand to wander, for his lips to touch me. They don’t, nothing happens, he stays with his body pressed against mine and his hand firmly planted on my hips.
“You aren’t ready. That’s fine. You will be,” he purrs. “From this moment on, you’re in my bed, babe.”
“Keaston?” I whimper.
“You will be, and when you are, I’ll be right here. Won’t push you until you’re ready, but, babe. It’s gonna happen.”
I don’t have the heart to tell him that it’s not going to happen, not ever because even with him pushed right up against me, his warm breath on my skin, I feel absolutely nothing. Not even his impressive hard length pressing against my ass does a single thing for me.
Fucking Hawk.
“Keaston,” I say, my tone warning.
He clears his throat and takes a step back. Turning around, I tilt my head back so that I can look up into his pretty eyes. I shake my head once and open my mouth to speak, but he holds up his hand, palm facing me.
“You’ll get there, babe. Trust me. Just takes time.”
“I’m not sure,” I rasp. “I had a bad past and I’m not like a regular woman.”
His eyes almost twinkle, but his lips aren’t smiling. I press mine together, my gaze flicking up from his mouth to his eyes.
“We all have shit in the past, babe. We didn’t, we would probably be well-adjusted individuals living in a big house in the burbs with a white picket fence around it, two kids, a dog, and a minivan.”
Lifting my hand to my lips, I can’t help but laugh. Dropping my arm, I shake my head a couple of times, my messy from sleep hair flying around my shoulders. “You have no idea how fucked up those kinds of people are, Keaston. I don’t think normal or well adjusted exists.”
He hums, lifting his hand, extending his finger until he touches the tip of my nose. “I’m sure. You’re in my bed, at my place, at least until this shit calms down. We’ll reevaluate. Now, go get ready for work, I’m sure you need to head that way soon.”
“Don’t you have to go to work too?” I breathe.
Keaston smirks. “Don’t worry about me, I got this.”
“You’re in some club like the Beasts, aren’t you?”
His eyes search mine, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he just hums.
“Tell me,” I demand.
His gaze searches mine, then he leans forward, his face directly in front of my own, just inches away. I should feel something, I actually want to feel it right now—I need it, but there’s absolutely nothing.
“Do odd jobs, that’s all.”
Without another word, he turns his back to
me and walks back over to the sofa, sinking down. I watch as he, completely unbothered, takes his phone out of his pocket and starts to tap at the screen.
“You’re not going to answer me, seriously?” I ask.
He chuckles. “Not yet, no.”
Walking away from him, it makes me far too curious that he isn’t telling me what he does. That he acts like one and dresses like a biker. He’s something, someone, but I’m just not sure yet. Then as I close the bedroom door, I realize that I haven’t been living in complete terror since he walked into my apartment yesterday—I feel safe.
HAWK
Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I sit up with a groan. My phone alarm has already gone off twice, alerting me to the fact that I need to get my ass up, and fast. Standing, I sway, still fucking drunk from last night.
A female groan sounds behind me and I turn my head, cringing at the sight of the naked cunt sleeping in my bed face down. I know exactly who it is, the memories of last night flooding my mind.
Fuck.
Sable.
This little bitch was trouble before and now? Goddamnit.
She turns her head to the side, her eyes finding mine, a lazy smile appearing on her lips. “Come back to bed, Hawk,” she purrs.
“No can do and I want you gone before I get out of the shower,” I state.
She pushes up, her tits coming into view and I can’t help but look down at them. Nothing prettier than a naked woman, dips and curves, full tits and ass. I fucking love it, no matter the shape. But this bitch, her pussy and body comes with claws and I want no part of that.
“Hawk,” she moans as she pushes herself to sit up and spreads her thighs.
I can’t take my eyes off of her, her fingers trail down. The center of her chest and her stomach, dipping farther until those sweet digits are between her legs, playing with that cunt that’s on display.
Shaking my head once, I snort. “Get your skinny ass outta here.”
Without another word, I turn away from her and walk into my bathroom, slamming the door behind me. Gripping my phone tightly, I curse as soon as I realize I haven’t called Avah to check on her again, and she’s yet to contact me back.
Inhaling deeply through my nose, I exhale out of my mouth and shake my head a couple of times. Setting my phone on the vanity, I turn and start the water. It doesn’t take long for it to heat up, and even less time for me to wash the stink of whore and booze away.
Walking back into the bedroom, I’m glad to see that she’s done what I’ve asked and left. I don’t know where she went, and I don’t give a fuck either. Dressing, I grab my phone off of the vanity and shove it in my pocket before I jog toward a hot cup of coffee.
Taz is standing next to the coffeepot when I arrive, he looks me up and down, shakes his head, and pours me a cup.
“Pinkie made it, tastes like shit.”
“It’ll get the job done, I’m sure,” I grumble.
Taz chuckles as he hands me the hot cup. “It’ll put hair on your chest, old man.”
“Got plenty of that shit,” I snort, lifting the cup to my lips.
Taking a sip, I cringe because he’s not wrong, it tastes like shit. “You good?” Taz asks.
Nodding my head, my eyes find his. “I want revenge and retribution, just as badly as you do.”
He hums, but doesn’t say anything, at least not immediately. “They’ll swing, Hawk. Nobody touches Trista, not fucking ever.”
“We can agree on that, son-in-law,” I grunt.
“Fuck yeah, we can.”
Neither of us says anything else, turning toward the meeting, we make our way toward church to start a plan. To create a plan that will work for all of us, that will give us the closure that we need and the body count that we desire.
The room slowly fills with members, but I ignore them, drinking my thick and terrible fucking coffee as I stare down at my phone. Touching the text icon, I find Avah’s name and look at the last several messages that I’ve sent her. They’re all delivered, though unseen, and there aren’t any responses.
Fuck.
She’s either pissed off at me or something is really wrong. No matter the case, as soon as this shit is done, this meeting is over, I’m going to head toward her place just to make sure she’s okay. If she’s pissed, that’s fine, maybe she’ll have angry sex with me before she tells me why she’s angry.
Before I close out my phone and set it down, I decide to send her a text.
DON’T KNOW WHY YOU DON’T RESPOND. ANSWER ME.
I watch the phone, waiting for the message to be seen, but it stayed unread and the anger builds up inside of me.
This shit is immature.
She’s immature.
I shouldn’t be surprised. She’s too fucking young for me, hell, she’s my own daughter's age, but for whatever reason, I thought that she was better than this. I expected way too goddamn much apparently.
I’m going to load up in the morning, head her way, fuck her one last time and be done. If she’s fine, then whatever is up her ass enough to ignore this many calls and messages from me, I don’t give much of a fuck. If she’s not okay, then that’s something else entirely.
“Brother,” Silver grunts.
Turning my head, I look over at him. He’s watching me, his gaze flicking from the phone in my hand to my eyes. His lips twitch into a grin.
“Go get your fuckin’ woman, hombre.”
Chapter Eight
AVAH
Someone is watching me. The sensation follows me around all day long and it’s not the handsome biker who is camped out right outside of the lot.
His gaze never leaves me, not when I have a customer, not when I walk through the rows of cars, not even when I go inside of my office. But it’s not his gaze that has me uncomfortable, it’s someone else’s.
It’s been three days since I started staying with Keaston. True to his word, he hasn’t tried anything, but he’s migrated from the couch to the bed and sleeps next to me now. It’s weird, but it’s also comforting and makes me feel safe, so I haven’t kicked him out. Plus, he doesn’t even try to touch me, he simply—sleeps.
He’s only the third man that I have ever slept next to. Layne was the first, Hawk the second, and now Keaston. I feel bad though, like I’m leading him on, even though I’ve told him that I don’t feel anything for him, and probably never will. He keeps saying that in time, I will, that he’s patient and he’s proven to be telling the truth, at least for three days.
I don’t know how long a man’s patience can last, I’ve never experienced patience when it comes to men. I honestly didn’t know that they even had it.
The sensation of someone’s eyes on my back causes me to freeze in the middle of the lot. Turning my head, I look over my shoulder, but once again nobody is there. I scan the lot, the street, and across the street, but nothing looks out of place.
With a heavy sigh, I head back inside of the dealership and toward my desk to do some much-needed paperwork. Pressing my lips together, I sink down in my chair and turn my laptop back on.
Starting to enter the information from my paperwork, I completely lose track of time as I become hyperfocused on the work in front of me. By the time I’m completely caught up, I lift my head, looking around the room, and blink twice at the sight.
It’s dark outside, the dealership is empty and I seem to be completely alone. “Well shit,” I mutter to myself.
I quickly pack up my things and grab my purse, along with my keys from the bottom drawer. Before I head out, I make my way toward the bathroom. I don’t even know how long I have been focused on work, but I need to get the hell out of here and go home.
Guilt consumes me at the thought of Keaston sitting outside waiting for me for hours while I ignore everything and everyone, too focused to even realize what’s happening around me. Making my way into the bathroom, I hurry as quickly as I can and wash my hands before gathering all of my things and flip all of the lights off.
> Taking one step out of the dark hallway, I freeze. There is a dark shadow a few feet in front of me hugging the wall. I can’t make out his face, or anything else about him other than he is built like a man, tall and wide, and wearing what appears to be a suit.
“Your time is almost up,” he rasps.
“Who are you?” I demand.
Naturally, he doesn’t answer me. Instead, he clears his throat and begins to speak with that raspy voice again. I halfway expect him to say he’s Batman, but he never does. I almost wish that he would, because the words that he actually says are terrifying.
“That biker won’t be able to protect you forever, Avah. I’ll end him, then take you. I’m just biding my time. It’s almost time and I can’t wait to take you, to tie you up, to keep you and to ruin you.”
“Please, just leave me alone,” I beg.
I don’t care if I sound weak, I don’t care if it makes me vulnerable. I just want to live my life, to be left alone. I just want to try and be normal, whatever that means.
“That ship sailed when Layne disappeared and you stopped offering yourself. When I found out that you were part of the reason he disappeared and with it my steady supply of girls. You’re going to atone for that, Avah. Then, you’re going to be what I need, what I want, and what I desire until you die. But until I’m ready, I’m enjoying watching you live your life in fear.”
I gasp, taking a couple steps backward, my back slamming against the wall behind me. He doesn’t make a move, not a single one toward me or anywhere else. Instead, he watches me from his dark place, not moving, not even an inch.
“Leave me the hell alone,” I shout.
He snorts, then I hear a noise from the front door and turn my head to see Keaston barging through it. He calls out my name and I turn my head to look at the stranger, but he’s gone. Staying in my spot, I call out to Keaston and a few seconds later he’s standing right in front of me.
“What the hell?” he barks.
“He was here,” I whimper as my knees give out and my back slides down the wall, my ass slamming against the floor hard.
UnWreck Me (Savage Beast MC Book 7) Page 7
