He blinks, then all of the emotion leaves his features. “You shouldn’t.”
Nodding, I hum softly. “Even here, I did. I knew you would get us out or your men would be here. I knew nothing too terrible would happen to me, not with you here.”
He groans, wrapping his hands around my waist before he roughly tugs me forward, my chest smashing against his. My hand falls away from his face and I let out a sigh at the feeling of his hard body against my own.
“You are fucking crazy,” he growls, lowering his face as his lips touch mine.
“Yeah, I know.”
“Keepin’ you, baby. Not just for now, for fuckin’ ever.”
He doesn’t give me a moment to respond. Instead, he slants his head to the side and his lips crash against my own in a hard, bruising, owning kiss. It’s full of emotion, it’s everything that I have ever wanted from him, and more.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
HAWK
The ride back to the clubhouse is exactly what I needed to feel myself again. Though I don’t know if I will feel the way I did before my dignity, my freedom, and my control was stolen from me.
The clubhouse comes into view and I don’t even stop as I continue to ride toward the building. Once I’ve found my parking place, I kill the engine and kick the stand down. I don’t climb off immediately, I stay staring straight ahead, not sure if I’m ready to return back to life quite yet.
Avah scrambles off of the bike behind me. She tries to rearrange the sheet she has wrapped around her body, but that shit is holding on by a thread.
Throwing my leg over my bike, I finally climb off and bend down slightly, sliding my arm beneath her knees to pick her up. She’s barefoot and doesn’t need to be walking around this dirty, hot parking lot.
Carrying her inside of the clubhouse, I ignore everything and everyone around us. I’ll deal with the questions, the awkward looks, and the rest of the bullshit tomorrow. Tonight, I’m going to just wash the blood from my body and make my woman my own all over again.
Thankfully, nobody stops us as we make our way toward my bedroom. Slamming the door behind me, I don’t bother locking it, not really giving a fuck. In fact, I don’t really want it locked. I’ve had enough of locked doors to last me a goddamn lifetime.
Leaving the bathroom door wide open, I start the shower and only then do I set Avah down. Spinning her around until she’s facing the mirror, I unwrap the sheet from her body, leaving it in a pile on the bathroom floor.
“Burn it,” she whispers.
“Fuck yeah, we will, together.”
My gaze finds hers in the reflection of the mirror, and I can’t help but notice that her eyes are filling with wetness. “Baby,” I murmur as I wrap my arm around her chest and slide my hand up, curling my fingers around the front of her throat.
“Orson,” she breathes.
“We’re safe now,” I state.
“It was all my fault. All of this was because of me.”
Shaking my head, I let out a snort. “Avah. Get that shit outta your head. Would do it all over again if it meant keeping you safe, getting him gone so that we can move on with our lives.”
“Move on?” she asks.
I hum, my gaze traveling from her eyes to her stomach in the reflection and my hand leaves her throat, sliding down the center of her body and landing on her flat belly. I listen to the way her breathing speeds up, the way those breaths come out in soft little pants, the way her body breaks out in goose bumps.
“Yeah,” I murmur. “Move on. My ring on your finger, my baby inside of you. Move on.”
“Hawk,” she exhales.
Spinning her around, I look into her eyes. There’s some of the blood from my face and body transferred on to hers and it’s sexy as fuck, the blood of my enemy on my woman. Proof of my victory on her sweet, untouched body.
“Don’t say this, not unless you mean it, and I know that you don’t. You’ll feel different tomorrow.”
Shaking my head, I look down at her and my heart fucking aches. She’s looking up at me, so goddamn innocently through her lashes, her whole face lit up with hope. She doesn’t need any hope, she’s getting everything she wants, even if she may not really want it from me in the end.
“I’m old as fuck. I’m set in my ways. I’ll be faithful.”
She arches a brow, her lips twitching.
“I’ll try my fucking hardest to be faithful,” I amend.
“You will be,” she says. “Because if you don’t, then your life will be over.”
I laugh, my voice hoarse. “I’ll be faithful, baby. But beyond that, I’ll cherish you every fucking day, because I won’t take another day on this fucking planet for granted.”
“Orson,” she exhales. “Please tell me this is really real. You’re not going to change your mind and break me, are you?”
“Oh, I’ll break you, Avah. But this is real. It’s so fucking real and it has been. I was just a goddamn idiot. You deserve so much more. Someone younger, someone better, someone richer, but they can’t have you.”
“Because you have me,” she says, her lips turning up into a small smile. “But then again, you’ve had me for a while, Hawk.”
With a growl, I take a step back and strip out of my clothes. Once we’re both naked, I reach down, wrapping my hands around the backs of her thighs and I carry her into the shower. The warm water beats down on us, washing away the blood and with it the evidence of Walsh and his fucking evil, at least the physical evidence.
I wash her. I wash her hair, her body, every single fucking part of her, but I don’t take it any further. Avah washes me too. Her eyes meet mine when her soapy hand glides down to my cock. She slides her fingers up and down my cock, wrapping her fingers around me.
“Avah, you don’t…” My words trail off when she begins to stroke me.
Her eyes never leave mine, I continue to watch her, my heart speeding up with each pump of her fist. With a groan, I thrust my hips forward, tilting my head down to watch her hand stroke my dick.
My back tingles and my balls draw up tightly as she strokes faster and faster, my hips moving to the rhythm that she’s created.
Fuck me, but she feels good, her hand is fucking amazing and exactly what I need right now, I growl my orgasm close and let out a whoosh of air as she sinks down to her knees as her hand doesn’t even skip a beat in its cadence. Her mouth opens and she slides her tongue out just as I come.
Fuck.
Breathing heavily, I watch as my cum shoots out in ribbons on her tongue, lips, and chin. It’s the sexiest shit I’ve seen in a long goddamn time. My legs feel weak, my thighs shaking, not only from my orgasm, but also because I haven’t actually eaten food in days.
“We’ll order some food before we sleep,” I rasp gruffly as I reach down and slide my hands beneath her armpits before I gently pull her back up to standing.
She’s got a lazy smile on her lips, one that probably matches mine. “We’ll eat some dinner, then I’ll eat your pussy,” I offer.
Avah shrugs a shoulder. “That’s not why I did that. I just… I thought you needed it.”
“I need a hell of a lot, but tonight that’s all I’m taking from you. I’m going to give to you too, baby, what you need and that’s food and your pussy licked.”
“Okay,” she sighs. “That actually sounds amazing.”
I chuckle as I reach behind her and turn the water off, then I grab a towel and dry her off before myself. I send a message to a prospect to bring us some food from the diner in town. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, and fruit for Avah. Chicken fried steak, french fries, a burger, and chicken tenders for me.
“That’s a lot of food. Here I was feeling guilty because the only thing that sounded good was pancakes and that’s so many damn carbs. I was so strict before.”
Lifting up my hand, I shake my head. “You were sexy as fuck then, you’re sexier now, well, you will be once you put a little more meat back on your bones.”
“Yeah?” she a
sks.
I snort, leaning forward, touching my lips to hers. “Yeah, honey. Curves in all the right fuckin’ places, baby.”
AVAH
My hair is a rat’s nest. There is no other way to describe it. I just hope that I can get the extensions out at this point without completely ruining my actual hair. Using the comb, I gently try to comb my hair out, but each stroke makes my entire body cringe in pain.
There’s a knock on the bedroom door and I freeze, almost in a panic. Holding my breath, I wait for it to burst open, but it doesn’t. Hawk slips from his place next to me in bed and walks over to the door completely naked.
I watch his ass, wondering how I can be so attracted to him, how I could want him so fucking badly right now, after everything that’s happened.
I shouldn’t want any man to look at me, let alone touch me, after what the senator did to me, what he made me do, and the way he made me feel. But when it comes to Orson, I want every part of him touching, looking, feeling every part of me.
Maybe I’m sick, and if I am, I’m not sure that I want to be well. I am in love with this man. All of him. Even the ugly parts. Even though I watched him skin a person alive, nothing could diminish the way that I feel for him. I’m probably not well, not right in the head, and I’m oddly just fine with that.
The bedroom door closes and he sinks back down on the bed, bags in his hand. So many plastic bags. I laugh as I start to take them out.
“Take the shirt off,” he grunts, jerking his chin toward my body.
I’m wearing one of his shirts. I can’t take it off though, I won’t. It’s a permanent hug from him and he doesn’t realize how these shirts of his saved me while he was away, when I didn’t know where he was.
“Keeping it on,” I inform him.
He blinks, then his lips curve up into a grin. “For how long?” he asks, his voice dipping slightly.
I hum. “Long enough to eat my food, but before you eat me,” I say, arching a brow.
He grunts. “We aren’t right,” he announces.
Crossing my legs, I place my Styrofoam container in my lap, opening it and licking my lips at the sight of the pancakes, bacon, and eggs in front of me. Turning my head to the side slightly, I smile in his direction.
“Oh, we’re all kinds of fucked up and probably will be until the day we die, daddy.”
He snorts. “That’s the goddamn truth of it too.”
The next thirty minutes we eat in complete silence. We thoroughly enjoy our food, because it’s been days since either of us has had anything at all. There is an unspoken sensation lingering around us, a sadness and uncertainty.
I hope in time that it goes away, but I don’t hold much hope, I honestly think that it will be around us forever. What we went through, it isn’t something that you just forget about or just move on from.
This is everlasting. Something was taken from us, though we experienced different things, we both had our freedom, our control, and very much our pride stripped from us. It was scary, but mostly, it was humiliating and a torture in and of itself, a torture that the senator didn’t even have to lift a finger to administer.
Once our food is eaten, I gather it all up and take it toward the door, opening it, and setting the bags just outside in the hallway. Closing the door, I reach for the deadbolt to lock it, but my fingers tremble and I can’t do it.
“Leave it,” he murmurs. “No more locked doors.”
Turning my head, I look back over my shoulder at him. “No more darkness. No more locked doors,” I breathe.
“Never again.”
His gaze ignites and I know that he means so much more than a physically locked door. So much more. Clearing my throat, I nod my head and make my way toward him, leaving the door closed, but unlocked.
Climbing onto the bed, I strip out of my T-shirt and sink my teeth into my bottom lip as I watch him. His nostrils flare before he reaches for me, wrapping his hands around my waist and pulls me against him before he rolls on top of me.
“Keeping you, Avah,” he rasps against my lips.
“I’m keeping you, too,” I exhale.
Chapter Thirty
AVAH
Days go by. Each one gets easier than the day before, but I don’t feel the same and I doubt that I ever will. I don’t think that Hawk does either. I watch as he packs a bag, readying himself for a trip to Northern California.
“Do you need to go? Shouldn’t you stay here?” I ask, my voice shaky from fear.
Not only fear of him walking out of the door and leaving me alone, but also fear for him. I don’t know what’s going to happen and what if he doesn’t come back?
“I’m visiting a friend, nothing more.”
I snort, arching a brow, not believing a word that he is saying. “Please, stay here,” I whisper. “Stay with me.”
He turns around to face me, taking a step forward before he lifts his hand and wraps his fingers around the side of my throat. “Baby, I’ll be back, you can bet your ass on that. Don’t worry. You’re safe here, you’re just plain fuckin’ safe, that asshole is gone.”
Lifting my hand, I wrap my fingers around his wrist and hold on to him tightly, not wanting him to go anywhere, ever. I want him to stay at my side, to be right where I can always see him, for life. I know it’s not practical, but I’m not practical or rational right now.
“I know, but I don’t want to be away from you,” I admit.
He lowers his chin, resting his forehead against my own as he inhales a deep breath and closes his eyes. I close mine as well, but not before I reach my other hand out and wrap my fingers around his side, gripping his shirt tightly.
“Tonight, we’ll have a good time, relax a little. We’ve been holed up for a while. We need to just relax. I’ll leave in the morning, be back in a few days, maybe then we’ll try to find a place of our own.”
Opening my eyes, I jerk my head back and look into his gaze. His lips are curved up in a grin and he lets out a small chuckle at the change in my demeanor. I go from devastated to excited in just seconds. Maybe it’s because looking for a place means shopping and I haven’t done that in a while and I honestly do miss it.
“Also,” he begins. “I had your shit packed up and brought here. Your clothes are going to be hauled to our room, everything else will be out in the shed to be stored until you want it. Going through your clothes can be something you can do while I’m gone.”
“My stuff, my clothes?” I breathe.
He grins. “Your stuff. Mamba, Gator, and Maria went and got it for you. Clothes and personal shit. I’ll send some prospects to pack up and empty out your apartment in a few weeks.”
“Hawk,” I gasp. “Seriously? My clothes, my things?”
Hawk licks his bottom lip before he sinks his teeth into the flesh. “Yeah, baby. Your things.”
“Thank you,” I exhale as I lean in and touch my lips to his. “Thank you. I love you.”
He lets out a growl, his arms reaching down as he grabs handfuls of my ass and picks me up. I let out a squeal as my heart begins to race and slam against my chest. He marches me backward until my back presses against the wall.
We haven’t done anything except foreplay since we’ve been back. I don’t know if it’s because he’s not ready for more, or if he thinks I’m not.
It’s probably a mix of both and he would be absolutely correct. I wasn’t ready, not when we first came back, but now I want so much more from him, I want everything.
“Orson,” I exhale.
He lets out a grunt, his hands working at his pants as he unbuttons and frees himself. I was in the middle of getting ready to get my hair fixed, so I was only wrapped in a towel. Ripping the towel from around my body, I toss it onto the floor at his feet.
Reaching between us, I can’t wait another second without him filling my body. Wrapping my fingers around his length, I guide him toward my center. Gripping his shoulders, my head falls back with a thud as he fills me in one quick thrust.
“You aren’t ready yet,” he rasps against the front of my throat.
“Make me ready for you,” I breathe.
He chuckles, his breath fanning across my skin. His lips suck, his tongue licks my throat, behind my ear, everywhere he can reach at this position, all the while he stays still and deep inside of me—stretching me like only he can.
When I’m so wet, so ready, that I’m writhing beneath him, on the edge of begging him to move, that’s when he finally begins to pull out and thrust back inside, it’s beautiful.
“Look at us, honey. Look at how fucking beautiful you are,” he growls, his chin dipped and his eyes focused on the way his body moves in and out of my own.
I’m so mesmerized by just the way he looks, watching us, I hold my breath and am frozen for a moment. Beautiful is exactly what he is, every single part of him. Sliding one of my hands from his shoulder, I shiver as my hand slides through his thick hair and my nails dig into the skin at the center of his chest.
“Fuck,” he hisses as he begins to move harder and faster with each thrust.
Tilting my head down, I watch. I can’t take my eyes off of the way he looks as he takes me. The way I accept every inch of him inside of my body. The way he fits so perfectly as if I was always meant to be his, made just for him.
“I’m going to come,” I whisper.
He grunts, one of his hands slipping from my ass, shifting between us. Letting out a moan, I feel his thumb press against my clit and he starts to circle me there. God, he’s amazing. Every muscle in my body tightens as I climb higher and higher, so much closer to my release.
My nails score his chest as I come. My entire body begins to tremble, my hips almost violently bucking against his thumb and his cock, searching and riding the high of my orgasm as it takes over my entire body.
“Fucking hell,” he groans, his hips moving faster and faster before he buries himself deep inside of me with a roar.
We’re both coming down, our breathing coming out in pants when we hear clapping coming from the other side of the room. Turning my head to the side, I narrow my eyes at the sight of Sable standing there, her gaze focused on us, a smile playing on her lips.
UnWreck Me (Savage Beast MC Book 7) Page 21
