by J. M. Dabney
“Have Linus and Gage shown up yet?”
“The cops are taking their statements now. Peaches is going to act as advocates for Kray and Cameron. She’s pretty scary.”
“That’s putting it lightly. I wasn’t prepared for any of this. I’ve heard all the stories of the Trenton team riding to the rescue, but how can they do this every day?”
“It’s takes exceptional men to do what they do. I’ve heard stories from Gage over the years. He didn’t speak about the team like just co-workers, I really felt that Gage had finally found a family.”
“Have you known Gage long?”
“Twenty years. First time I met him, Alex and him showed up drunk at my sorority. The Sisters weren’t happy at all to have two SEALs singing some nasty drinking song at the tops of their lungs on their porch.”
“Did they leave the Navy together?”
He knew so little about Gage’s past. All the stories that were told were as if Gage’s life only started when he began working for Linus. Gage never mentioned family. He assumed he was like most of the Trenton Crew—they didn’t have a biological family except for Linus and Pure’s mom. He wanted to know everything about Gage, even the not so pretty parts and he wanted to know about the scars, what each represented.
“No, Gage left first, I think he wanted to settle in one spot. Alex only left a few years ago to spend more time with Cameron. To get to know his daughter again, he’s taking all the blame because he talked me into letting her go. If he hadn’t, then she’d...but if she hadn’t been taken, Kray would’ve died in that basement. No one would have even cared. Cameron said he tried to take every punishment, used his body to shield hers. They bonded in that cell.”
“He seemed like an amazing kid, and we’ll do everything to make sure he gets all the help and love he needs.”
“Did you want me to take over? You look ready to drop.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’d like to spend time with my soon-to-be kid. I always wanted to try for a son, but I couldn’t have more after Cameron. My husband should be here soon. He was keeping everything at home from imploding with both bosses MIA. He’s barely been holding on. Stanton needs to see Cameron to make him relax.”
He eased his hand from Kray’s and let Margo take his place. He was so tired he could barely walk a straight line, and when he made it back to the waiting room, Linus and Gage stood up.
“Is everything okay?” Gage asked.
“Both are sleeping. Kray crashed from exhaustion and Cameron had a panic attack, so they gave her something. Margo is going to sit with Kray and Alex is with Cameron. Everything cool here?”
“We have to stick around for a few days, but that’s normal so they can check our stories.” He watched as Linus handed Gage a key and a card in an small envelope. “Peaches picked up all our key cards for the hotel and keys for the rentals. Raul and Pure are already headed that way. Little and Livingston are making a food run. I’m going to stay here with Peaches while we sort out things. Why don’t you and Gage go and crash, we have a lot of sleep to catch up on. Derrick,” Linus said as he approached him.
“Yeah?”
“You did good. I’m so proud of you. You’re a better man than that fucker who spawned you, and I hope you know that.”
He closed his eyes against the tears as Linus leaned down slightly to press a kiss to his forehead. He was handed off to Gage, and they made their way to the exit after Gage told Linus to have Alex call him when he got a minute. The big man looked more exhausted than him but was probably still in a better position to drive. Gage opened the passenger door and helped him inside—he was too tired to talk or move. He just wanted to sleep for the next few days.
He must have dozed off as soon as they pulled out of the parking lot because the next thing he knew, Gage was saying his name. The man helped him out of his seat, and he leaned all his weight on Gage as they made it inside, up the elevator and to a room.
“Come on, boy, you need sleep.”
He just nodded and let Gage strip him, and he was about to ask Gage to stay when firm lips pressed to his. “I’m gonna go shower, and I’ll be back. Don’t hog the bed.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“You’re not up to calling me Daddy right now.”
He savored Gage’s rough chuckle and turned on his side, snuggling under the covers. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep, and he was so out of it that he barely moved when a naked Gage stretched out behind him.
Gage Had a Story to Tell
Arsenault eyes had been wide and filled with fear as him and Linus circled him where they had him knelt beside the shallow grave. They had both taken the kill shot, the barrel of their 9 millimeters pressed to the back of his head. They hadn’t even flinched, just inhaled deep and squeezed the trigger as they exhaled. There was no guilt. No remorse. For him, he heard Kray begging for it to be him instead of Cameron. Kray deserved his revenge, and he didn’t give a fuck what anyone had to say about it.
Out of everything he remembered of doing away with the dangerous animal Arsenault was, the conversation Linus and he had afterward stuck with him.
The quiet between Linus and himself couldn’t be called anything but oppressive. He knew neither of them regretted putting the fucker down, but they’d still taken a life. The tension slowly eased as they got into the rental car they’d stashed earlier. A silent decision was made that Kray wouldn’t witness the act. They didn’t want that memory to linger in Kray’s mind. It was time for the boy to move on, to start accepting his freedom and that he was no longer the captive of a sick, evil man.
“You okay, Gage?”
He took the time to think about his answer and looked deep inside himself to sense even the minute guilt. “I don’t have any regrets, man. Kray and Cameron would never be safe with him still breathing.” He glanced at Linus to catch just the hint of a nod.
“It was the right decision.”
“It was. Linus, about Derrick…”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me. If I’m honest, it was there for a long time. It was just something we’d never discussed. But, Gage, Derrick deserves to find his peace with who he is, and I don’t know if you’re able to fucking give him that.”
“I’m not sure either, but I want a chance no matter how fucking unworthy I feel.”
“Then take the chance, man, what do you have to lose?”
He had a lot to lose, and his biggest one was his heart. His love for his boy was inappropriate, and he’d always felt he should show mercy and leave his boy alone. After the operation, the lines he’d cross, it would be impossible to move on—to ignore what they’d started.
“I don’t want to hurt him.”
“Then don’t.”
It sounded so easy. It was more than an emotional scar he’d leave behind. His mind still played over the physical damage he could inflict. A simple moment of losing control and Derrick could bear the same bruises as Gage’s mother. His fear held him back. Yet, could he truly give up the chance to make his boy his—to know a semblance of happiness in a life filled with pain and regret?
“Are you sure you…I don’t know why, but I want your blessing in this.”
“Gage, as much as I hate to think of my kids dating anyone, my son deserves to find love, and his heart is set on you. Just don’t break him, Gage, you’re a brother to me and out of everything in my life I’ve learned we protect family. Just think long and hard about this. If you can see yourself loving my son, that his happiness is the most important thing to you, then don’t fuck up your chance.”
They’d gone silent after that, making the long trek to the hospital to rejoin the team. He had a lot to think about and just hoped he’d make the right decision.
He put that night out of his mind as he snuggled his boy back to his chest and groaned as his boy’s soft ass wiggled against his hard dick. Derrick still asleep turned over, and he smiled as Derrick slipped his thigh over his hip. He fisted his left hand in his boy’s
silky hair and tipped Derrick’s head back enough to bring his mouth down on his boy’s—the soft curves gave under his firmer lips. He reluctantly pushed his boy onto his back before things got out of hand. Before they went any farther, they needed to talk.
He wouldn’t ask Derrick to consider being with him without the full truth. Last night on the way to the hospital, he’d asked Linus permission to ask Derrick out on a date. He respected his friend, and while Linus didn’t know his complete backstory, he assumed Linus knew enough to make him wary of Gage being around his son. The death threat was expected, more so than the permission.
“Do you have a new one?”
Derrick’s question confused him until fingertips traced the bandage on his forearm softly. He didn’t ask when his boy had seen them. He’d slept shirtless beside Derrick, but he’d tried to wake up first and be ready for the day before Derrick’s eyes even opened.
“You want to hear a story?”
“If you’re in it, of course.”
He settled in to snuggle while he could. He didn’t know if he’d have another opportunity to hold his boy in his arms. If Derrick decided the risk wasn’t worth it, then he’d have to respect Derrick’s wishes because the two of them had to trust each other completely. He wanted to take care of his boy. Make sure he was always happy, and before he could do that, Derrick had to hear it all.
“My father was in the Army…a meaner bastard had never been born. He had a philosophy on life where women needed to have their place and if they didn’t learn it, then…” He paused as his throat started to close.
“You don’t have to tell me. I don’t have to know.”
“Yes, you do, you have to know everything before I ask you on a date.”
“Then, by all means, Daddy, tell away.”
He brushed a kiss to his boy’s forehead. “Brat.” He laid his head on the pillow beside Derrick’s. “The only happy times in my childhood were when he was deployed because as soon as he came home, it was hell in that house. When he was gone, my mother was happy and healthy. The Major, that’s what he made me call him. His rank and nothing else. He made me watch him beat her. Said that I had to learn how to…I needed to learn how to train my wife. My mom was never obedient enough, so he had to hit her.”
“Is she still alive?” Derrick slim fingers combed through the hair on his chest.
He shook his head. Sometimes her loss felt like it was only the day before. Always a festering wound that would never heal and maybe it wouldn’t. Even though, as he grew older, he started to understand why she did it. “I came home one day, he was away, and she always met me in the kitchen. We’d have cookies…he didn’t allow that kind of shit when he was home. She wasn’t there. I searched the house, and I found her in the tub. I thought she was asleep. Come to find out Major had called and said he was on his way home that night. She’d talked to someone on base, and it got back to him, they joked about her cheating, but to him…she couldn’t take another beating. She slit her wrists. To her, it was her only way to escape.”
“I would have loved to have met her.”
“She was beautiful and amazing. When it was just the two of us, she was so happy, but he didn’t let her work. She didn’t have a friend except for me. One day, not long before she died, she tried to explain to me what real love was, but I was too young to understand that.
“After she was gone something broke, I started having blackouts. Woke up in strange places covered in blood only to find out that I’d beaten the shit out of someone for looking at me. It kept happening, and alcohol became my best friend, which made the blackouts worse.”
“Is that why you joined the Navy?”
“Yeah, I barely graduated, so it was my only way out, but I didn’t want to serve anywhere near him. I wanted to be better. My life changed, and I learned to take control. Except I was always terrified.” He hugged his boy to his chest and tried to figure out how to explain. What he had to say was easier when he’d practiced it in his head as he’d waited in the hospital. Voicing his thoughts was confusing, and he didn’t feel he was explaining everything as clearly as he should.
“That you were him? Maybe you’d continue the cycle of abuse to your partner?”
He relaxed realizing his boy was getting it, and with Derrick’s past, he needed this to be just right.
“That and I also knew early that I was different, and he would’ve killed me if he knew my first crush was a boy in my class. The internalized homophobia was killing me. I was as macho as I could get. I fucked women while on leave so no one would think differently. Alex knew though. He took me aside. I was drinking too much, partying too much and I was starting to lose it again.”
“What changed?”
“Nothing, instead of thinking I’d beat my wife, it was now a husband. I couldn’t allow myself to hurt anyone. That’s when I decided quick anonymous fucks with no names exchanged was the way to go, then the worse thing in the fucking world happened.”
“What?”
“I met a beautiful boy, with the most gorgeous brown eyes and sweetest smile. I wanted him more than anything in the world.”
“Maybe he thought you were just as beautiful.”
He chuckled as he traced his boy’s lips with the tip of his index finger. “I doubt it. I’m an old man with wrinkles, gray hair and excessively grumpy.”
“Grumpy can be sexy. Why do you do this?” Derrick wrapped soft hands around his wrist and lifted his arm.
He tensed as tender kisses stroked over the ridges of raised skin. “That’s harder to explain. I needed a release…violence always gave me that. I wasn’t as tense after my blackouts. Fucking wasn’t an option…it wasn’t the release I needed. Those people I took to bed did nothing for me. Some nights I barely kept my dick hard. The pain though, it was almost like the sting of my split and bruised knuckles. My broken ribs from the ones who were strong enough to fight back. It kept the monster at bay.”
“There’s so many.”
“Daily ritual, same as someone who needs a cup of coffee to get their day started. I lined up my supplies at my kitchen table, cut, tended, and headed off to work. Alex is the only one who’s sure of them, I know some people have caught sight of them over the years, but no one’s ever said a word.”
“Thank you for trusting me with your story. I know you’re scared of hurting me, but the fact you’ve stayed away, I guess, trying to protect me proves I might be different and I’m not scared of you. I wanted to be yours since before I knew what that meant.”
“Thorpe, he, I don’t ever want to remind you of him. It’s why I always stayed away. I always caught snippets of conversation, and when your name was mentioned, I listened closer. Wondered if you were dating or when you’d visit would that be the time you brought someone home.”
“I won’t say I didn’t date. When I decided to take the job as a Deputy, I wanted to come home and have you see me as a man. Not your friend’s annoying son.”
“I don’t want my boy to say he used other men to get ready for me.”
“Would I say that? Would it earn me a spanking?”
“Of course, I’d get the bratty boy. What do you say I take you out on a date tonight? Since we’re stuck here, I might as well get our first date out of the way.”
“I’d love to, but first I want to go to the hospital and check on Kray and Cameron.” Derrick turned his head to check the time on the digital clock beside the bed. “It’s already noon.”
“Damn, did anyone call? We didn’t even wake up for food.” He leaned over Derrick to grab their phones that he’d left on the nightstand. When he saw no messages or missed calls, no news was good news, right? He tensed above his boy as he felt a tug on the necklace with the key, and when he looked down, he found Derrick holding it between his teeth.
“Do I get to keep my collar?”
He shifted until he could rest between his boy’s thighs and reminded himself his boy deserved some romance before they went further, but that did
n’t mean he couldn’t make his boy feel less insecure.
“The day I walked into that shop, I bought a plain leather collar for the person who would be my partner, the person I assumed would be Pure, but this one”—he traced the warm metal with his fingertips—“this one, I bought for a dream, one I was never going to have. But when I looked at it, I could see him wearing it. This one I picked just for you. You can wear it as long as you want.”
“I’m keeping it.”
They kissed softly for long minutes, and he barely pulled away from Derrick before he said fuck dinner. He dropped one last quick kiss to his boy’s smiling lips before he rolled from bed to head for the shower. He wouldn’t fuck this up—he promised himself that, but that still didn’t mean he wasn’t terrified.
Was Needing to Puke a Bad Date Omen?
Their first date became delayed by a day due to more questioning by the cops and a sketchy federal agent. Knowing the guy they’d taken down had friends in high places had made the Trenton Crew more paranoid than a tweaker on a four-day binge. Derrick was so ready to go home and leave this whole mess behind. Gage put on his fancy suit and did what he’d always done best, got the guys out of trouble. Hell, he’d almost believed the spin, and he’d been in on the operation.
Good news had traveled through the crew in the way of Cameron and Kray being released from the hospital. They’d given them a room all to themselves, and they’d spent hours locked inside. Raul had popped the lock a few times for the crew to check on them. Everything was arranged for them to go back to Alex’s home. He knew Kray was waiting for the bottom to fall out and he’d end up back in a group home. The state therapist in charge of Kray’s case said it would take time, and after meeting and spending time with Alex and Margo, he’d instantly known they were the perfect people for Kray.
Kray seemed overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers, particularly ones that said they wanted to adopt him. They’d discussed that Kray would live with Alex but also spend time with Margo. The tears the boy shed at the thought of having parents, even ones that lived separately, had been almost too much for the young man to handle. Cameron had been the only one who seemed able to calm him. Theirs was a bond formed in tragedy, and they couldn’t imagine keeping them apart. They were the only two people who truly understood what they’d gone through and they needed each other.
