by Alma Nilsson
“What does that mean? His parents were from different classes or what?”
“No, it’s not quite that bad. He was born a slave and is now trying to become a part of the maximum class.”
“Can people do that?”
“Of course, sometimes even the gods make mistakes, so there is a small amount of fluidity in the class system. It’s rare though and until he is accepted back into the House, he was born into as maximum class, he is Houseless.”
“How long will it take for him to be a part of his House again?”
“No one knows, years if at all. So, you see, it’s completely inappropriate for Babette to see him now, she must wait.”
“I see. Is she trying to court him?”
“No, he’s forbidden from making her an offer. But they went for a walk in the Promenade, and I know they communicate through messages and VMs frequently.”
Jane frowned, it was a violation of Babette’s privacy that Madame Bai and her assistances watched the women in House Human like this, but apparently, it had to be done. “What would you recommend I do?” Jane asked. She had the power to take away Babette’s right to private communications and assign her a chaperone for wherever she went. However, Jane didn’t want to do that unless Babette had really stepped over the line. As far as she could work out now, she was only flirting with it. Maybe she likes him enough to wait for him and that’s why they communicate often. What’s a little message here and there? Jane thought trying to be positive and give Babette the benefit of the doubt.
“Jane, I think it would be very beneficial if you talked to her about this and why it’s so problematic. I’ve tried to reach her with logic, but I think she might need a human touch to make her understand the full gravity of the situation.”
“Let’s just say she hypothetically married him, what would be the consequences?” Jane wanted to know what the worst would be before she talked to Babette.
Madame Bai took a sharp intake of breath, “Hypothetically, he would never be invited back into his House, their futures would be in jeopardy as it’s difficult to employ people without a House, they could behave in anyway without any repercussions and any children from the union would also be Houseless. House Human would also be socially marred. Theoretically, you could petition the High Council for her to be allowed to remain in House Human, but any children they would still be Houseless even if you were successful.”
“I see, there would be no way to annul a marriage? What about that two-week annulment period?”
“No, as they couldn’t marry in the normal way there is no annulment allowed. You as Head of House Human could kill them to bring some honor back to your house.”
“Um, no,” Jane couldn’t help but think of Nun and how it felt to kill him and never wanted to do that to anyone else, especially not a human woman in her care. “Okay, I will speak to her. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.”
Madame Bai nodded, “Now, was there something you wanted to speak to me about?”
Jane felt embarrassed then and didn’t want to say what she was really calling about, “If I did decide to marry, would it have to be before my 40th birthday by the Alliance calendar?”
Madame Bai looked at Jane quizzically, “It’s a bit of a grey area you know that as you have a husband and children from before in a way. But technically, yes that would be ideal. Tell me, I’ve heard rumors about you and the Admiral.” Madame Bai had also seen the kiss, but she didn’t want to bring that up directly.
“Yes, the problem is I don’t know if he wants to marry,” she couldn’t help it now. She hadn’t told anyone, and she was bursting to tell another woman of her situation, especially someone like Madame Bai who could offer more insight than another human woman.
“Has he bought new known jewelry?”
“Yes.”
“New images of himself to show off his physic and strength?”
“If that’s what you want to call it,” Jane said ironically, “Yes.”
“Has he given you any jewelry?”
Jane held up her left wrist, “This and some jewelry from Juio’s.”
Madame Bai leaned into her screen, “A lovers’ bracelet. Why in all the galaxy would you agree to that?”
“I told him weeks ago I would never marry, and he took it literally.”
“You said that?”
“Yes, I didn’t think it meant anything at the time. We were in a group and I thought he was asking casually.”
“When someone asks you something you always answer with your true intention, just to leave your options open,” Madame Bai was perplexed why Jane would not want to marry the Admiral of the Fleet, one of the Alliance’s most powerful men, and even if she didn’t she should want to and lie. And as he already had children, grandchildren and more, it would be a comfortable arrangement. “Is it because he is from the Second Alliance Planet?”
“No, that has nothing to do with it.” Jane wondered then if she should look into some of the Second Alliance Planet’s customs just to make sure everything was about the same as on the Capital Alliance Planet. She had a suspicion, though, that there would be some strange differences which Madame Bai was probably referring to now and more than just a sash of purple on uniforms.
“Did you say you didn’t want to get married because of the family you left behind on Earth?”
Jane nodded.
“Jane, as I have told all of you who volunteered from the Dakota during the war, you must let them go. Let your Alliance life in. You are doing such a good job so far.”
“I will never say ‘goodbye’ to them,” she touched a finger over her heart, but as she did that, she did want Jei to want to marry her. It was confusing, but she didn’t want to show her inner conflict to Madame Bai.
“Then, your heart will always be clouded by their memories,” Madame Bai said sadly. She sympathized with Jane. In her mind, Admiral Tir should have sent her back with the male crew when they were taken. But he was too infatuated with Kara to consider any of the other women’s circumstances and obviously, Kara not realizing at the time that she would have been able to make a case of Jane to return, didn’t.
Jane nodded, and then after a second, asked, “Now, how do I make the lovers’ bracelet work?”
“I’m not of maximum class, so I’ve never experienced one myself, but I’ve heard you make it work by touching yourself in similar ways and focusing on the other person while you do it.”
Jane looked at her in disbelief, “Excuse me?”
“I know, maximum class people have some strange practices. You’re beginning to know better than even I do, these days. It is also rumored that after a year or so of wearing them, the wearers become more aware of each other’s emotions.”
“Is there anything else I should know about these bracelets? Are they socially acceptable? I mean, am I putting House Human in a scandalous position by accepting this?”
“Oh no, not at all. It’s socially acceptable, however, more so for the Admiral than you because he is so much older than you. You really should just marry.”
“Easier said than done,” Jane said.
Madame Bai stiffened, “You need to overcome your racism.” She knew full well that half of Jane’s issue was missing her family and the other half was her racism against Alliance people.
Jane didn’t defend herself, “I never asked for this life, and you know it was wrong, Admiral Tir taking me as well.”
“The gods willed this destiny for you. Your Alliance life is a gift, and now you must live it. Take your own advice that you give to the other human women and accept this new life. If you have given up on your human husband enough to become Admiral Jei’s lover, then why not his wife? Why not have a child and then see your own human children again?”
Jane felt sick at the thought, “Because I can’t.”
“I don’t understand you, Jane. We didn’t make these rules to put you off from being with Alliance men, quite the contrary.”
Jan
e shook her head, “I can’t explain this anymore. I’ll always love my human family, and my heart isn’t big enough for more. I can’t break my heart off into sections and still love.”
“Are you sure there’s no room to love an Alliance family as well? You must love the Admiral very much?” When she saw Jane’s look of surprise, she explained her statement, “Normally, you know I would never speak of love directly, but I know humans well enough now to know that not only do you not feel awkward speaking about your experiences with love but that you actually seek out occasions to do it. And when you do so, it’s easier for me to understand how you think about situations with Alliance men troubling you. Tell me about how you feel. I’m only trying to help.”
“I had Doctor John administer the forget-me-not a while ago to get past my love for my human family. My partner Jim found another woman, my best friend actually, and I couldn’t get through my days because of the heartache. It was after that that I began developing a romantic interest in the Admiral. I fear that when the forget-me-not wears off, I’ll feel the same and not feel anything for the Admiral at all.”
Madame Bai took in this new information and explained, “You can extend the forget-me-not for the rest of your life here on the Capital Planet. Doctor James can do it for you.”
Jane thanked her for that bit of information and thought, But I wouldn’t want James anywhere near my mind for fear of what she would find out about what Doctor Anu and I have done. “Thank you for letting me know. But I think after this reprieve, I’ll want to face things head-on.”
“And that’s why you don’t want to marry?”
“I think so,” Jane admitted, “But I’m under the impression he doesn’t want to marry either, but then he said if we had a child, he would want to marry, but that is exactly the opposite of what I would want to do.”
Madame Bai was utterly confused now, “But why? That should be an excellent reason to marry and we aren’t talking about any low-level officer either. He’s the Admiral of the Fleet. Most women would just say ‘yes’ without any thought.”
“Because I would feel like it would be the ultimate betrayal because I know I could not resist seeing my human family again, and I’d have used the Admiral and his baby to see my human family.”
“And you don’t think after all that, even after the forget-me-not wears off, you will have any love for the Admiral or a child between you two?”
“I can’t imagine it,” Jane said honestly and knew it was wrong to say to Madame Bai, as it was offensive to say that even a child that was half hers, she could never love as much as her own human children.
“I’m no doctor, but the forget-me-not doesn’t change who you really are.”
“I don’t know, I don’t think this is who I really am.”
Madame Bai had nothing left to say to Jane, “Walk with the gods, Jane, and let them guide you.”
“May the gods light your path,” Jane replied and then ended the conversation.
Weeks passed and Jane and Jei’s relationship continued just as hotly as it began. Most nights she spent in his quarters, and she had fallen into such a comfortable rhythm with Jei she could not imagine how life would have been before him. Jane loved almost everything about Jei, and she had decided over the weeks that he really was in the embodiment of everything good that the Empire represented; strength, loyalty, and compassion. In the galaxy, the Alliance had many colonies, and Jane witnessed firsthand the strict kind of care in which issues were resolved. She was surprised that the Alliance had such a hands-off attitude with most of the colonies.
Jei had explained it to her like this, “We cannot civilize the galaxy with brute military force, we much conquer them and then provide for them a better life than they had before. Most of this comes in the form of technology but sometimes protection too. We don’t force our religion or culture on colonists unless they are so feral, they need that guidance too.”
“And humanity? We aren’t a colony.”
“No, but a trading partner. And so, we do look after humans, as we always have. We are genetically the same, we have always checked in and kept you safe.”
“Even when we joined the Jahay and were at war with the Alliance?” Jane felt he was hiding something in his answers that she felt that if she knew him better, she would be able to guess what it was.
“Jane, human starships are no match for ours. And we would have never truly gone to war with humans. Didn’t you think it was odd we always did our best to disable and not destroy human ships? When we had no trouble at all destroying the Jahay ships?”
“Yes.”
“Now you have your answer, and the rest of the galaxy knew that already. That’s why the Jahay wanted Earth to be an ally. They knew we wouldn’t destroy human ships. It was a tactical advantage.”
Jane was reminded of the legend about Cambyses capturing Pelusium and asked, “Is this written down somewhere for all to see in the galaxy? At the GU? How is it this isn’t common knowledge among humans?”
“It doesn’t have to be. Look at Alliance and humans, we are almost the same, except we are all grey and you are many colors. It’s natural for us to want to protect you. Everyone can see that.”
“We don’t need the Alliance’s protection,” Jane said quietly.
Jei answered sternly, “Humanity has almost destroyed itself more than a few times, and none of those times came as surprises. Humanity knew it was coming and then waited until last minute to save yourselves.”
“Would the Alliance had stepped in if we hadn’t? Would you have saved us or have watched us burn and simply documented it?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “I’m sure we would have watched you burn in the long past, but now, and in the last centuries, of course not.” He didn’t want to lie to Jane about this, but he didn’t want to tell her everything either. It wasn’t a pretty history between the Alliance and humanity.
“Are you saying the Alliance interfered before we had space capabilities?”
“It’s a possibility. I don’t have access to those records. Alliance men weren’t allowed to keep records then.”
Jane was shocked, “We’ll get back to the Alliance’s interference in humanity in a minute, what’s this that men weren’t allowed to keep records?”
“Men were not allowed to read and write well enough to keep records for a very long time. Everything was orally reported and written down by women,” Jei said matter-of-factly. He didn’t mention the secret writing language that had evolved between men for their own records.
Jane remembered then what Ambassador Wol had said to her about the brief period in history when Alliance men and women served together, “And even now, you cannot access those records?”
“Not without asking for permission and explaining that it pertains to an upcoming mission. But even that is no assurance that I’d be granted access.”
“Can I access the records?” Jane was looking at him very seriously then and her mind was racing. She was beginning to put the pieces together and comprehend for the first time this power struggle between Alliance men and women was so much more than just a cute game over the centuries with the Contracts, courting and all. There was actually a full-out battle going on. And Jane realized what Ambassador Wol’s words meant then about her being in the middle of it and not even realizing it. And her mind rushed then with images of Doctor Anu and what she had done. How Jane was actually simultaneously helping both the men and the women’s sides. Her stomach felt heavy then as she knew she wasn’t skilled enough at these alien political games to last long in this position. Dru was almost killed for just liking a man. What would happen to her? No wonder Jei had his guards with me, she thought.
“I don’t know. You should be able to as a High Council member, as a woman and Head of House Human. But because you are human, you might be banned from it. It doesn’t matter. Let’s live in the here and now.”
Jane looked at her massive Alliance lover and ran her fingers through his long
silver hair, “I can’t believe you are so nonchalant about all of this.”
“This is not new information for me,” he explained quietly. “This is the way it has always been.”
“The other day, I was listening to some of the men in engineering talk, and when I asked them what they were saying or to teach me some of the men’s language, they said they couldn’t as a direct order from you.”
“That’s right. It’s not for you alone but for all women. Although you are human, you are still a woman.”
“What about a human man?”
“Point out a human man, who is Alliance?” Jei asked, ironically.
“What about the boys who will be born to human women?”
“I’ll not be Admiral by the time they come of age, so that will be another admiral’s choice. Jane, why are you questioning me about all of this? What difference do our opinions make on what was or what the greater populations at large believe about humans or who has access to what information?”
She shrugged, “Your opinion means a lot in the Empire actually, and personally, I want to know.”
He brought her close to him into his strong embrace, “My opinion is next to nothing inside the Empire.”
“But everything outside of it.”
“People fear the Alliance Fleet, but we are fair.”
“No one ever wants to get too close to a predator, not knowing when they will strike. Nor does everyone want to be a part of the Empire.”
“True, but hear me,” he kissed her chastely, “No matter what the Alliance’s overall stance is, I respect you, human woman. I respect your culture, and you respect mine. You abide by all my culture’s conventions on ship obediently. That’s all that matters to me. I know you don’t like to hear this, but I’m not Tir, I don’t care about humanity at large. No more than you care about the Alliance really. Or am I wrong?”
“You’re not wrong,” Jane admitted, and wanted to add, ‘But I think your telling me half-truths. I just can’t figure out what they are.’ But of course, she didn’t say that. “Do you think I’m in much danger on the Capital Planet now that we are lovers?”
