by Alma Nilsson
Followed by an even more disturbing message,
Babette Lynn Thomas of House Human is now a member of no House as of 8th day of the 10th week of the year 18906 as she married Lieutenant Mir of no House.
“What is it, Jane?” Jei asked noticing that she looked very upset suddenly.
She read out the messages to him as they were alone in his private dining room, “What do I do?”
“You must hide the fact that she is pregnant.”
Then as if Dru knew they were waiting for her message it arrived,
Jane, we have a problem. I am working on covering this up. However, I can only do so much. I have spoken to Zol, my husband’s mother, she can be trusted, and she believes that we can solve this, but you must return to represent House Human.
Jane stood up then and said, “Permission to return to the Capital Planet.”
Jei looked at her, “No. You don’t need to be there. This woman got herself into trouble, and Mir is a smart man, he will figure it out.” Mir had been Jei’s last squire. He didn’t want Jane involved with this situation. Mir was one of the gods and if he had married a human who was not his chosen mate the gods would be angry and begin punishing all those around him. And even worse if Mir was supposed to marry the true goddess of peace, Sif, who became his incarnate bride every 1,000 years and married Babette instead, there would be real trouble. Jei suspected if that was the case, Jane would be the first they would punish. And she was pregnant and still didn’t know it. He didn’t want her leaving the Kzi. Not with her current mindset or physical condition.
Jane went over and sat on his lap, “Are you really going to make me ask twice?”
Jei didn’t reply but kissed her.
“I must go Jei. You know as a Head of House; you can’t keep me here.”
“Oh, you know that do you?” he half joked.
“You know I do. Now I must go but I’ll return as soon as I can sort this out. And of course, I’ll miss you every day.”
Jei had to agree, but he would all the arrangements to make sure she was safe while she on the Capital Planet.
The next morning Jane took a transport to catch another ship on its way back to the Capital Planet. The first night in her guest quarters onboard the Beta ship Ilo, she opened her traveling bag and found a small black box with a written note. She would recognize Jei’s meticulous handwriting anywhere,
Please wear this on the planet.
She opened the box. Inside was beautiful ring with a dark purple stone held in place by silver geometric patterns. She smiled and put it on her finger and thought it looked beautiful, but then the guilt of cheating on Jim overwhelmed her and she took the ring off and put it back in the box. Left with her own thoughts and away from Jei, she felt like she had multiple personalities without him to anchor her. One was human and a devoted partner with human children, and the other was an Alliance woman who had a thing for sex games.
Jane just stared at the box, trying to remind herself, Jim and I are no longer together. This isn’t cheating. He’s with Sandra now. However, that thought brought on a whole another wave of emotions and she just laid down on her single bed and cried herself to sleep.
The week’s travel it took to reach the Capital Planet were uneventful except for her own thoughts. Jane kept to herself a lot and a couple times even had a slave bring her food to her cabin and watched her eat, as it was forbidden to eat alone. She knew this also meant that the slave could not eat her meal, but Jane was just too preoccupied with her own thoughts to make small talk with anyone else and so made the slave suffer by going hungry for her own comfort. And as she was human and had just come from the flagship, a lot of the men of the Ilo were curious and wanted to make small talk, which she only condescended to do a few times.
When Jane arrived at Space Port One, she was only half-surprised to be met by the same guards with the purple trim on their uniforms and purple stones in their ID necklaces to signify they were from the Second Alliance Planet. Their names were Gio and Sra.
“Lieutenant Commander Jane of House Human, we are your guards sent by Admiral Jei of House Rega. We are here to protect you and will do your bidding until you return to the Kzi.”
Jane didn’t think she needed them but then she remembered the attack on James and thought that maybe Jei was right in assigning her guards. It occurred to her then that Jei might have women pining for him that would be jealous now that he had announced her as his lover. That had been what had happened to James. Also, she knew that Kara had death threats from anonymous Alliance women too for being married to Tir. Jane thought, Yes, maybe this is a good precaution. “Thank you. Let the gods’ be blessed. Today I must go to the Capital City Hospital and then to House Human.”
“Gods be blessed,” Gio replied and then the other just looked at him uncomfortably. “We were told you would be staying at the Admiral’s official Capital Planet residence in Ring One.”
“No, I’ll stay at House Human,” she said casually trying not to make a big deal about it.
The other guard stepped closer to her and showed her a quick contract on his IC,
Gio of House Rega will protect Jane Johnson with his life for her duration on the Capital Planet and will be given full jurisdiction on her residence in her best interest making full use of the House Rega’s financial and physical holdings.
Jane read the contract. She knew that there was no way that Officer Gio would let her sleep at House Human now. Although it was in Ring Four, it was not considered as bad as a location as the Immigrant Ring. And even though it was protected with a forcefield and their own guards, it was nothing to the protection of some of the most powerful families’ compounds in the higher-ranking rings of the city.
“Fine,” Jane said thinking it would be strange to stay in Jei’s house without him, but not wanting to have this fight. She had neither the time nor the energy.
From Space Port One, they all took a House Rega transport down to the Capital City. Jane walked into the City Hospital and headed up to the Imperial floor, Jei’s guards trailing her. Once there she was met by other guards. “I’m here to see Doctor Drusilla James, I mean Doctor James, of House Vo.”
The Imperial Guards nodded to her and she was allowed onto the floor and found James’s office with the guards trailing her. When she arrived, James wasn’t there, but a passing nurse told her to wait and that James would probably be right back, so Jane sat down in one of the chairs in the office and waited. While she did, she was surprised that James actually had the old-fashioned wedding picture of herself and her husband on her desk. Jane picked it up to investigate it. It had been her and Kara’s idea to reintroduce the practice as it seemed the only thing worthwhile from the custom of Earth marriages. James had worn a dress form Earth and make up which made the wedding look like a real love match. For a second it made Jane feel guilty about what she and Anu were doing, but then she reminded herself that James might have had a better life that she chose for herself on Earth.
Jane thought about her own situation then and was sad, she would have never entered into a relationship with Jei had she not taken the forget-me-not drug and had they not been captured she would have never had to leave Jim. But somewhere in the back of her mind a voice reminded her, No, you would have been killed if you had not been taken prisoner during the war. And is this life not more exciting? Haven’t I come to love Jei just as much as Jim? But that last thought made the guilt even worse because if she were honest with herself, it was much more exciting and maybe better than her human life. And this was the fact she didn’t want to face that maybe she preferred her Alliance life as depraved as her human family and friends would think it was. And this made her feel guilty and ashamed for preferring an Alliance life.
Dru walked towards her office and was surprised to see two guards from Alliance Planet Two outside. She passed them without a word and entered, “Jane?”
Jane stood up, “James, sorry I just thought I would drop by. I hope you have a minute
?”
“Yes, of course,” she gestured for Jane to sit again. “How are things?”
“You know better than I do. Oh, this thing with Babette,” Jane said sullenly.
Dru had felt a wave of guilt and shame from Jane as she entered. She knew it was about her life on the Kzi, “We can talk about Babette in a minute. How are you? It must be unique being the only woman on the Kzi. There were rumors of an attempted rape some weeks ago,” she said quietly.
“It was taken care of quickly,” Jane said authoritatively not wanting to talk to James about the details of that.
Dru sensed everything from the forget-me-not, the relationship with Jei and what Jim had done to her as well as the attempted rape. Then the goddess of home began showing her the whole situation with Jim and urged her to tell Jane information she needed to hear, “Jane you shouldn’t feel guilty. Jim always wanted Sandra.”
“What did you say?”
“You heard me.”
“How could you know something like that?”
“The goddess of home blesses me with certain knowledge. You should forget about him, forget about your other children and live your new life here now. Trust in the Alliance gods they want us here. We are the Lost People. And don’t ever forget, our own people sold us.” Dru was repeating what had been said to her over and over again when she struggled with the differences in the Alliance culture.
“You’ll never know what it is like to have a human partner or children therefore you cannot begin to understand the heartbreak,” Jane said that just to hurt James. She hadn’t liked what she had just said about Jim and Sandra, even though she knew it to be true.
“Your racism towards Alliance people or the hybrid child growing inside of you does you no good. This is your life now. It’s childish of you to hold on to something that will never be, nor should you even want to. You are only making yourself weak by not recognizing your new future and embracing it.”
“I hope you never have to say goodbye to your husband or children,” Jane said wanting to end this conversation because she realized she was being childish.
“Praise be to the gods that I’m safe on the Capital Planet. The safest place in the galaxy. I can make an order that you might stay too, it would override even Admiral Jei’s command. But I’m hesitant to do that as then everyone would know about the illegitimate child. But Jane, I can feel your confusion, you need help recognizing your true path, let me help you.”
Jane only focused on half of what she said, “Thank you for the offer, but I’ll work thought this.” She was worried that James would look into her thoughts and know what she and Doctor Anu had done and she didn’t know how James would react to that. She wanted to change the subject, “What does Babette’s child have to do with this?”
Dru broke protocol again and did a quick sweep of Jane’s mind. She didn’t know she was pregnant. She didn’t think she could become pregnant. Dru looked into Jane’s eyes deciding whether or not to repeat it. “Jane, you are pregnant. One child. A daughter. A hybrid.”
Jane shook her head, “You are mistaken James.”
Dru got up from her desk, came around, touched Jane’s abdomen and looked at Jane, “I can hear it’s little humming. That’s what their thoughts sound like in the beginning.”
Jane paled and at that moment she knew that James was right. She had felt different, but she thought it had everything to do with the forget-me-not and her guilt. It had not occurred to her that she could become pregnant. “This isn’t right,” Jane put her head in her hands.
Dru was probing her thoughts then trying to figure out why she and Doctor Anu kept the 1,000 human women on Space Port One for so long but it was futile, without touching Jane and her permission, she couldn’t reach those memories as Jane was so upset about this.
Jane looked up and said to James, “Don’t tell anyone. I must tell Jei first.”
“I can’t do that,” Dru said. “You know that. I must log it here.”
“James, seriously? What about the solidary among human women?”
“I don’t understand why you would want to keep this a secret? There’s no reason. Jei clearly likes you and would marry you. You are already publically lovers, so this is something to rejoice. And once the baby is born you can see your human family again. Isn’t that what you want more than anything?”
Jane waved her hand away.
“Jane,” she said sternly, “It goes against the gods to kill it. I don’t know how deep your racism goes but I will kill you if you do it.”
Jane smiled like a mad woman, “What a ridiculous duel that would be, two human women terrible with swords trying to kill each other in the arena. Don’t jump to conclusions James. I’m not going to kill it. You’ve been on this planet too long only with Alliance people, you are literally one of them now with your religion and all.”
“You left me here,” Dru suddenly accused Jane. “I was all alone and none of you cared. Why should I protect you now?”
Jane looked at the younger woman and tried to explain, “Drusilla, stop. I’m sorry. I wanted you to have a better life than what you would have had with us. I felt terrible when I found out how isolating it was for you to be alone in House Human. I didn’t know what Ket’s ban meant for you or the racism you faced in the Capital City. You didn’t mention it either. But you were my responsibility and I failed you.” Jane then stood up to give James a hug which she accepted. “I am sorry.”
Dru finally felt some peace with what had happened over the last year. She had been hurt by Jane’s reaction to her memories of how she escaped the Exterior. She would never forget her look of disgust, but Jane of course didn’t remember that. The goddess of home had erased all of their memories, so no one remembered it. But she still put most of the blame of her unhappiness on Jane, whether it was right or not she didn’t know, and she knew it stemmed from that look of disgust.
Dru accepted Jane’s embrace. And then said something in the moment she wanted Jane to hear, “You know I’m from the Exterior.” Dru wanted Jane to be touching her while she said it. To feel her thoughts about it. “I escaped. I traded my virginal body to the border guards, and they used me like a common whore, but I walked out.”
Jane listened to Dru’s words and had a feeling of déjà vu. She hugged Dru closer and thought of her own daughter who was about the same age and said, “I’m so sorry that that happened. Do you want to talk about it?”
Dru leaned back and looked at Jane’s face, it was the same look, full of disgust but now she knew her thoughts, and was shocked that her look of disgust came from the disgust she felt by the men being so depraved to use such a young girl. Whether she was offering herself or not it was wrong. Dru leaned back into Jane’s hug again and for the first time in a long time felt that things were becoming right again. She hadn’t been wrong about Jane. She’d only been wrong about the face expression. “I don’t need to talk about it. I’ve talked about it enough with Alliance doctors. I just wanted to tell you.”
Jane stroked Dru’s hair gently, braided in an Alliance style as if she were her own daughter, “Thank you for trusting me with this information. I can’t imagine either would be easy to admit. I did suspect that you did come from the Exterior from the picture I heard about in your drawing room.”
“And what did you think?”
“I thought it all made sense. And I was happy that you left if that’s what you wanted and now you have Ket and a nice life here. James, you should be whoever you want to be. We can’t change our childhoods or where we were born, but once that time is over, we can change everything. And that’s the best part about childhoods for most people, they end.”
Dru looked into Jane’s eyes and said, “Thank you. I don’t know why but I needed to hear this from you, but I did.” Dru was being honest and she had read Jane’s thoughts as she had done a million times before. Jane had never meant her harm and Dru didn’t know how she could have become so depressed and confused she could have ever doubted
this woman’s intentions.
Jane nodded, “I should have come to your marriage ceremony, even if it would have been just to see you off. I’m sorry. I’ve made so many mistakes. I’m not a very good Head of House.”
Dru smiled a little, “It’s not as if you were born into the role as most Alliance Head of Houses are. I think you are doing just fine. I mean it’s only really Babette now. One out of a thousand women isn’t bad.”
Jane gently let James go and then sat down, “It’s only because your name isn’t attached to all of these women you can say it’s not too bad. Now tell me about Babette.”
Dru told Jane everything she knew about Babette.
Jane was surprised that Dru was so supportive of Babette’s choice, but decided it must have something to do with her newfound religious fever she had developed lately.
When it was time, they left together to go to House Human to see Babette and Madame Bai to discuss what to do.
Babette was the last to arrive in the Classroom where they were having this meeting.
Jane couldn’t help herself and asked before the young woman could even sit down, “Babette, what were you thinking?”
Babette looked at Jane a bit sheepishly, “I love him.”
“Where did you even meet a man, who is without rank and without a House?”
“At the temple?”
“In prayer?”
“Of a kind.”
“What?” Jane was exasperated. She wanted to throttle Babette for bringing so much trouble to House Human. They didn’t need this attention, and she didn’t want James so close to all of this either.
“When you sent me to the High Priestess for punishment. That’s when I met Mir. He was also there for punishment. It was love at first sight.”
