by Monica James
I should have told her how I feel because even though I’ve never been in love, I’ve never experienced this sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach either. I can barely breathe when I’m with her. And when we’re apart…I would give anything to be close to her.
I want to protect her. I want my fucking happily ever after because if someone like Tiger can love me, then maybe, just maybe, I’m not all bad.
But none of that matters if I don’t get to her.
I break every traffic law there is and get to the address in record time. It’s some derelict two-story brick building in a seedy neighborhood where no one would look twice if there was a shootout. But that won’t happen because I don’t have my guns.
Parking the truck, I kill the engine and don’t make my arrival a secret as I walk around the back. The door is open, so I enter, not bothering to scope out my surroundings. He knows I’m here. I’ve just stepped into the lion’s den.
It smells like piss and garbage, and I am furious he’s brought Tiger here. “Motherfucker, if you’re planning on making a grand entrance, hurry the fuck up. It’s cold.”
I hide behind my wit, terrified I’m too late. But when someone shuffles out from a room in front of me, I see that I’m not. Jaws has Tiger by the arm. She struggles against his grip, but he doesn’t let her go. When she sees me, her eyes fill with sadness, and I don’t understand why.
I don’t make a move, however. This is Jaws’s show.
“Nice of you to come,” he quips, smirking wide.
“Like I had a choice,” I snap, looking at Tiger. “Are you okay?”
She nods quickly.
“Of course, she’s okay. I wouldn’t hurt my darling sister, would I, Lillian?”
I wait for her to tell him to go to hell, but she doesn’t. She lowers her chin, hiding behind her long hair. Something is horribly wrong.
“I never thought when our paths crossed fourteen years ago that you would be such a pain in my ass. But I’ll give it to you, kid, you got game. In a different lifetime, I think we would have made a great team.”
“I doubt that,” I counter, unable to keep my eyes off Tiger. But she continues to evade me.
“I don’t. We both want the same thing. Yes, our motives are different, but we’re both driven men, intent on revenge.”
“Get over it already,” I bark. “She doesn’t love you. Move on. You’re beating a dead horse.”
“This has to do with Stevie, the double-crossing asshole!” he shouts, gripping Tiger tighter. I need to watch my tongue. Otherwise, she will pay for my insolence.
“I know what happened. Scrooge told me… right after I took this from his finger.” Holding up my finger, I show him the championship ring.
He doesn’t seem surprised. He knows the fate of his friend.
“Three down, one to go,” he jokes, and why shouldn’t he be in good spirits. He knows as long as he has Tiger, he’s in charge.
“That’s right, asshole. You killed Damian. It was only a matter of time. So, let her go, and we can end this.”
Jaws frowns, appearing in thought. When a whimper escapes Tiger, I wonder what the hell is going on. “Let her go?” he questions, eyebrow arched. “I’m not holding her against her will. Am I?”
I wait for my fierce Tiger to emerge, but what I get is my stupidity thrown into my face.
“No,” she whispers so softly, I hope I’ve misheard her. But when Jaws cups his ear, indicating she’s to speak up, there’s no mistake. “No, I’m here because I…because I called you.”
My heart constricts so tightly, a wheeze tumbles from me. She has stolen my breath. She has crushed my fucking heart.
Finally lifting her chin, I realize the reason she couldn’t look at me was because she felt guilty. “I’m sorry, Bull,” she cries, shaking her head. But I don’t want her apologies. “I had to choose. Jordy or you. I’m s-so sorry, but I couldn’t let this go on any f-further. He’s just a boy. I couldn’t take any more risks.”
And there it is. The truth.
She couldn’t wait for me to see the plan through. I know it wasn’t foolproof, but we could have at least tried.
“That’s right. She called me, Bull,” Jaws says, rubbing salt into my already raw wounds. “She’s the one who lured you here, not me. She set you up, and like a chump, you fell for it.”
“What?” I gasp, never taking my eyes off a crying Tiger.
But her tears mean nothing to me.
“Tell him,” Jaws encourages as he knows it’ll hurt all the more coming from her.
“He never kidnapped me,” she confesses. “I went willingly, knowing you’d…” She licks the tears from her lips. “You’d think he took me against my will. I knew if you thought that, you would come unarmed.”
I stand, speechless, not knowing what to say or think because she’s right.
When I saw Venus and the address, I automatically thought Tiger was taken hostage, but I’m the one who’s held hostage—hostage to my epic fuckup.
Jaws grins, watching happily as my heart gets ripped in two.
Her lower lip trembles. “I’m so sorry.”
“You already said that,” I reply, hardhearted. She told me she loved me, promising she meant it, but she didn’t mean it. She said it out of guilt because if she really loved me…she would have never, never done this.
“I gave you what you want!” she cries at Jaws, ripping from his grip. “Give me back my son.” But she is naïve if she thought it would ever be this simple.
“All in good time.” He clucks his tongue while she pales. “You’ve seen that he’s perfectly fine. I FaceTimed you the proof.”
“What do you want?” she asks, attempting to sound brave.
Jaws taps his chin, faking thought. “I want you to prove your loyalty.”
“How?” Her color turns to a sickly green.
“This asshole killed my friends. He also killed your beloved.”
She squeezes her eyes shut for a second, shaking her head.
“Now it’s time he paid for the lives he took. Scrooge was a good man.”
I scoff, folding my arms across my chest. “And now he’s a dead man.”
Jaws inhales, appearing to center himself. “Thanks to you. An eye for an eye,” he mocks before dropping his attention to my finger. “Or I’ll settle for a finger.”
Tiger gasps, covering her mouth.
Jaws reaches into his pocket and produces a knife. He gives it to Tiger, but she recoils. “Bring me his finger, and I’ll tell you where to find Jordy.”
“No!” she cries, horrified. “That was never a part of the deal.”
“The rules have changed. Now do it.” When she hesitates, he reaches into his pocket, retrieving his cell. He isn’t bluffing this time, and we both know it.
“Tiger, do it,” I order when she meets my eyes, shaking her head quickly.
“No, I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.”
She clenches her jaw, appearing to hold back more tears.
“If you don’t, all of this would have been for nothing. You made a choice. Now see it through.”
“It’s not like that,” she argues, but I am done listening. It is exactly like that because she is the reason we’re here, and I’ll be damned if she doesn’t get what she came for.
She hurt me because she had to, and now it’s my turn to do the same. “You let him do that to Venus. How could you?”
“I didn’t—”
But I cut her off. “All I’m hearing are fucking excuses! Grow a backbone and see your decisions through. You knew what would happen by calling him. So own them.”
“I can’t hurt you,” she confesses with nothing but sadness.
“You already have,” I reply, dead inside. “So you can take my finger, you can take my life, but it won’t matter because you’ve broken my fucking heart.”
She licks her lips, eyes wide. “Bull, no, it’s not—”
But I am done. “Jaws, call your g
uy then because it seems your sister doesn’t have the balls.” My words are dripping in venom because I mean them.
The small part of me that felt something is now dead and gone. It will never be resuscitated. I thought I knew what loss was…but this is something else.
Tiger narrows her eyes, angered I would insult her this way. But she started this, so it’s time I finished it.
She snatches the knife from Jaws and stalks over to me. I recognize the fire behind her eyes. It’s one of the many things I love, loved about her.
She stops feet away. “If only you’d listen—”
“I’m done listening,” I state. I never thought she’d be the enemy. I never anticipated her to be my grim reaper, but I suppose it’s poetic justice. I took from her, and now, it’s her turn to take from me.
“Bull—”
“Enough talking!” Jaws snaps, as Tiger closes her eyes and exhales as if asking for divine intervention to save her. But no one is coming. We’re lambs at the slaughter.
Making it simple, I offer her my hand, watching the way the knife trembles in her fingers. She hesitates, biting her lip so hard, I’m certain she’ll draw blood. I don’t understand why she’s so apprehensive.
“This is what we came here for, right?” I question, seizing her wrist and forcing her to place the blade against my finger.
“No!” she screams, tears flowing quickly as she jerks away. Her behavior confuses me. She was happy to feed me to the wolves, but now she can’t see it through? She knew what would happen by doing this.
“Okay, enough,” Jaws says, disappointed. “Lillian, I suppose you need to learn how to walk before you run.”
She breaks free from my hold, dropping the knife and kicking it away. As she goes to turn, Jaws clucks his tongue. “We’re not done. You hurt him…or I hurt Jordy. And I will hurt him really bad.”
She can’t get in air fast enough and begins to tremble all over. “Forgive me,” she finally whispers, locking eyes with me. She then slaps my cheek with all her might.
Moving my jaw from side to side, I’m proud of her efforts. But it’s not enough.
Jaws comes up behind her, placing a baton in her hand. She peers down at it, expressionless.
“I want to see him bleed, and bleed by your hand. I could do it.” He looks at me over her shoulder. “But it’ll hurt a lot more coming from you.”
And he’s right.
She can inflict all the pain she wants on my body. It’ll pale in comparison to what she’s already done to my heart.
When she hesitates, Jaws grips her hair and angles her head to the side. She whimpers, and the sight, regardless of what she’s done, fucking kills me. I know what I have to do.
“Last night, when I said I didn’t know what I felt…Well, now I do,” I spit. “You’re not the person I thought you were. You’re a great lay, but there’s always been something…missing.”
She sniffs, eyes wide. “You’re lying.”
“No, I’m really not. I didn’t tell you I loved you back because I don’t. And I realize that now.”
Jaws smirks, letting her go.
This is what he wanted. For us to hurt one another. And I will do that if it means I save her from any more pain.
“You’re a fucking snitch.”
“So are you,” she counters, her pain turning to anger.
Good.
“True that. But at least I follow through. You’re nothing but a coward. What did you think would happen by coming here? We’d talk it through. I would respect you more if you—”
I don’t get to finish my sentence however because I’m suddenly winded when Tiger drives the butt of the baton into my stomach. I snicker, folded in half as I glare up at her.
“Is that the best you can do? Your son is relying on you.”
She snarls and hits my torso. Good for her.
Even though I flinch, I know she’s holding back. Maybe she needs some encouragement.
“C’mon, I know you like pain. You had no issues with me using you any way I wanted. And use you I have.”
“Fuck you,” she spits, slamming the baton into my stomach again. The hit is hard, and I wheeze, gripping my side. She hits me again, this time connecting with my hand.
When it crunches under the impact, she pales as her adrenaline fades. “Oh, my g-god. I didn’t m-mean to.”
Jaws hollers in the background, enjoying the show.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, sickened. She looks as though she’s about to be sick.
But it’s too late for that.
“I am too…for ever seeing something in you that clearly isn’t there.”
“Bull, no,” she says, shaking her head as fat tears cascade down her cheeks. Her eyes plead with me to stop this cruelty.
“End it. Now,” I order, slowly dropping to my knees in front of her. “I surrender.” Little does she know, I’ve always been her prisoner.
Peering up at her as I cradle my broken hand, I wish she’d just knock me out so I don’t have to deal with this suffocating feeling that’s wrapping its hands around my throat. Unconscious, I don’t have to see her. I don’t have to accept all that I’ve lost.
“Do it!” I scream, daring her to end it because I can’t. I don’t have the guts to.
“Jordy is waiting for you,” Jaws says from behind her, reminding her of what’s at stake.
She inhales and exhales as if psyching herself up. She raises the baton, nodding. “It’ll be over soon. I promise. I know you tried,” she whispers.
“I didn’t try hard enough,” I reply quickly. Lowering my chin, I accept whatever fate is delivered. The room is filled with an electrical pulse threatening to electrocute us all.
“Drop it.”
I don’t understand what I’m hearing because it makes no sense. But none of this does.
Lifting my chin, I see Stevie a few feet away, with his gun trained on Jaws. What is he doing here?
Tiger pales but quickly drops the baton to the ground.
Jaws has his hands raised in mock surrender because judging by his shit-eating grin, Stevie being here hasn’t come as a surprise.
“I’m here, you asshole. What do you want?” Stevie asks, confirming my suspicions.
“I thought it was time we caught up,” he replies smugly.
“I have absolutely nothing to say to you.”
“I think you’ll change your mind.” Jaws’s attention drifts to me, and I realize I am so fucking screwed.
Stevie follows his line of sight, looking past Tiger to see me on my knees. At first, he appears not to believe his eyes, but that soon changes. “Tommy?”
Jaws opens his mouth in surprise before he bursts into jovial laughter. “It seems you go by a lot of aliases, kid.”
“What’s going on?” Stevie snarls, not appreciating being caught by surprise.
Tiger moves beside me, appearing to want to shield me from the shitstorm brewing. I don’t bother rising and stay on my knees.
“Let me fill you in,” Jaws says with a smile. “You have a wolf among the chickens…and that wolf is Bull, or as you know him, Tommy.”
“What?” Stevie says, looking at me for an explanation. But I got nothing.
“Bull has been working for me this entire time, haven’t you?”
Stevie pales while I wonder how the fuck I’m going to get out of this alive.
I don’t bother replying. My silence says it all.
“He has killed a lot of men. Some were my friends. One of them was Kong,” Jaws reveals calmly. “It was no accident he fell into your lap. He stalked Kong, killed him, and then was sent by me to infiltrate your little operation.”
Stevie shakes his head, utterly stunned. “Is this true?”
The jig is up. “Yes.”
“What does he have over you?” he asks me, knowing I wouldn’t do this unless there was a reason.
“Me,” Tiger whispers, unveiling just who she is. “I’m Christopher’s sister. Bull did all of th
is to save me and my son.”
Stevie focuses on Tiger, realizing he broke bread with the enemy.
“Yet, here he is, on his knees at the mercy of others,” Stevie snaps, unmoved by her admission.
“How do you know him?”
With hands raised, I come to a slow stand. “You’re not the only one who has a score to settle with him. Fourteen years ago, he killed my brother. He and his three friends killed my seventeen-year-old brother in cold blood. Kong was one of those men.
“This has always been about retribution. You were just a means to an end,” I explain bluntly.
“You killed his brother?” Stevie asks Jaws.
Jaws smiles. “Yes, I killed him, and I’ve killed a lot more brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers since then.”
Stevie appears wounded by the truth. But I know he is merely angered he allowed me to play him a fool. “You played me?”
Without remorse, I nod. “Yes. We’ve all played one another, wanting something in return.”
Jaws inhales in victory. “I know everything about your dealings. And I intend on taking it all from you when I end your fucking life, you traitorous son of a bitch.” Jaws reaches into his pocket and draws out a gun.
Instantly, I push Tiger aside, needing to get her to safety. But it seems the surprises don’t stop here.
“Enough!” Bianca says, appearing from behind Stevie.
He spins, panicked. “I told you to wait in the car!”
But someone like Bianca doesn’t take orders. “I won’t allow you to do this. Christopher, please,” she says, turning her soft eyes his way. “Stop this. If you ever cared about me, you’ll stop this right now.”
Jaws clucks his tongue. “Cared about you? You know how much I care about you when I was fucking you last week.”
Things suddenly get more awkward than they already are. “What the fuck?” Stevie almost gags.
Jaws smirks, victoriously. “It seems we’re still her little perritos, but at least she didn’t neuter me.”
“Bianca, is this true?” Stevie asks, paling. I don’t know why he’s acting like she committed the ultimate sin. It’s not like he’s been monogamous.
“Stevie,” she coos, attempting to console him. But he steps back, lip curled.
Jaws’s plan of destroying every aspect of Stevie’s life is coming to fruition. Just how far is he prepared to go?
