He looked over at her, regret having turned to determination. “I swear it, Ava. This is on me, and I won’t fail you. I’ll do anything it takes, anything. I will keep you and your daughter safe. I swear my life on it.”
The blood drained from her face and she felt dizzy as the implications of what Connor was saying sank in. The man who attacked her, the entire gang, they took children, and she was in their sights. Connor was promising to protect them, but would he be enough? Would anything be enough? How was she ever going to sleep again? And how would just overreact when he knew the truth?
15
Doc
Doc’s head jerked up as he felt Ava stiffen. God, he was an idiot. After dancing around the full story for days, the situation had changed, and she needed to know everything. But instead of telling her carefully, reassuring her, he’d blundered around and then blurted out the truth like ripping off a Band-Aid. Unlike that old wisdom, telling her the truth in that way had been a stupid idea. Ava had had enough shocks the last few days to render most people into a stupor. Despite her brave outward appearance, he wasn’t entirely sure she had avoided it, either. Ava put on a brave face, but without any experience in his world, with no background dealing with people like the Jokers, the whole idea must’ve been terrifying.
He reached around, placing a hand on the back of her neck, trying to support her and feel her pulse without her noticing. Maybe he should lay her down. Her face had gone deathly pale, and her heartbeat was thrumming beneath his fingers, a tattoo so rapid that for a moment he was concerned she would pass out. He reached out his other hand to stroke her face, both to calm her and bring her attention back to him. She raised her gaze to look at him again, but there was still no color in her cheeks. “I swear to you, Ava. No one will get to you or Emily. I promise you that on my life.”
Her forehead creased, her eyebrows almost touching in confusion. “How . . . How do you know about Emily? How do you know her name?”
Here went nothing. He hoped she wouldn’t be mad. Even though she told him to leave her alone, she hadn’t known what the stakes were. Not then, anyway. There was no way he wasn’t going to follow her home that day, but it was clear from her confusion he’d been as successful at hiding as he’d hoped. “I saw her that day, after the attack in the ER.” He sucked in a breath, then continued. “I followed you home, to make sure no one else did, and I saw her, running out the front door to greet you.” Doc cupped her face in his hands. If anything, the passing years had only made Ava more beautiful. “She’s a gorgeous little girl, Ava. the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, after all. I always knew you’d be a great mom.”
Ava’s hand moved to cover her mouth, and Doc swore he could see a tear forming in the corner of her eye. Fuck. He was screwing this up left and right. He sat back. He was dying to comfort her, to wrap her in his arms and never let go, but he had one more thing he had to tell her. One more thing she had to know, then she could choose whether or not she still wanted to be with him. “I was on my ER rotation when it happened. First year. That’s where I met her. Her name was Samantha. She wasn’t much older than Emily, just four years old. Her mother reported that she’d been sick for several days with a bad case of the flu, and that’s all it seemed to be, at first. Samantha had a high fever, vomiting . . . she told me that her bones hurt.” An unexpected smile quirked up the corners of his mouth. Even sick, the little girl had been an angel. Cute as a button and with blonde hair forming almost a halo around her head. It had been rumpled, and a few strands stuck to the side of her face from what was likely sweat or vomit. He hadn’t cared. The poor girl was obviously in pain, and it was his job to help. “I ran test after test, but I found nothing of substance. Her inflammation markers and white blood cells were up, but that was to be expected. I should have tested for it. I should have cultured . . .” He sat back, shaking his head. “If I’d done that, things would have turned out very differently. As it was, it was a busy night, the bad weather had caused a four-car pile-up, with multiple casualties heading our way, and it was the middle of winter. The flu was the obvious diagnosis. I gave the mom instructions on watching out for temperature spikes, keeping up fluids, and sent them home. I thought that was the end of it.”
Ava’s hand rested on his shoulder, but Doc didn’t move. He couldn’t look at her. If he did, then he’d never get this out. “Three years went by in the blink of an eye. I chose to do my surgical residency, and actually got in. You and I met, and suddenly life was so busy I didn’t have a chance to think much about the patient I treated and streeted the day before, let alone one from three years ago. Until one day the cops showed up wanting to question me.” He took in a shuddering breath. This was like walking through fire. Recalling his worst memories, the ones that had finally sunk him and made him leave Ava’s side, leave everything and a vain attempt to run from his demons. It hadn’t worked, and Doc had been a complete mess when Levi had found him, drunk off his ass in an attempt to not think about it anymore. He still tried not to, but it had to be done. He owed her that.
“They asked me if I remembered a child called Samantha Copeland.” Doc broke off and rubbed a hand over his face. “I didn’t at first, but when I saw that photo . . . how could I forget. They told me that Samantha had died. Her mother had brought her to the ER again, apparently multiple times. That time, someone else saw what I’d missed and ran the right test. By then, Samantha had been subjected to multiple invasive procedures and tests, including laparoscopic surgery, but no one could find a reason for the ongoing infections. Until the resident that night tested for E. Coli. He watched and finally witnessed the mom injecting that beautiful baby girl with fecal matter. She’d done it over and over again, intentionally, just to get attention.” He stood, making Ava’s comforting touch fall away. He didn’t deserve it. “Munchausen by Proxy. That girl died because I missed it. If I’d insisted on more tests, hell, if I’d just kept her overnight and told her mom to go home.”
Ava’s arms wrapped around his waist from behind him, pressing her back to his front. Memories of just a few days ago assaulted his mind, her pressed tight against them on the back of his bike. “It wasn’t your fault.” Her voice was soft but firm. “Doctors with years of experience find it hard to diagnose, and you were a first-year resident.”
He shook his head but took one of her hands in his as it snaked up his chest. It felt too damn good not to. “I must have missed something, some sort of sign.”
“Maybe, but likely not. She came back multiple times after you, you said, and every one of those doctors made that same call as you.” She moved, stepping around to his front, her hands never breaking contact. “The pattern is a big part of why any of us even have an inkling something’s not right. If you were at the beginning, you had nothing. No conflicting symptoms, no long history of admissions, and the symptoms fitted a logical disease: the flu in winter.” Now it was her turn to force his gaze to hers. “It was not your fault.” She paused a beat, then asked the question he knew had been coming from the moment he opened his mouth. “Is that why you left?”
He nodded. “I couldn’t do it anymore. Every child, at first, and then every patient. I’d examine them multiple times, making sure I didn’t miss anything, and even then I’d worry. We’d promised each other we wouldn’t bring work home, but I couldn’t get them out of my head. My superior was constantly giving me shit for ordering tests that were likely completely unnecessary, and then I’d come home to you. You’d look at me with those big, trusting eyes, like I was someone worthy, worthy of being a doctor, worthy of being loved by you, and I wasn’t either of those things. Not anymore.” His hands moved to her hips, pulling her closer. “Finally, a year later, I met someone who helped me get my head on a little straighter. Ava, I’m not the same man, but I hope in some ways I’m a better one. Samantha’s face still haunts me, but now she inspires me to help others who I still can, and right now that’s you. I won’t let you down, I promise.”
A tear slipped fr
om Ava’s eye and ran down her cheek. “Connor, you never could.” And then she leaned up on tippy toes and pressed her mouth to his.
At the touch of her soft lips, the dam that had been holding everything back inside him burst. The raw emotion from the last few days, finally telling Ava why he’d left, it overtook him. His hands tightened on her hips hard enough that he’d probably leave fingerprint bruises. The idea should have bothered him, but Doc couldn’t bring himself to care. The feel of her soft flesh underneath his hands, molding and pressing against his body, made his cock swell. Ava groaned as his hips unconsciously thrust forward, and he pushed his tongue into her mouth. He had to get inside her, right now. “Tell me I can have you. Please.”
She smiled against his mouth, breaking his kiss to utter one simple word. “Always.”
16
Ava
She’d barely uttered the word before Connor had her slammed up against the wall. His fingers wrapped around her wrist, holding her in place, as he attacked her mouth with a ferocity she’d not witnessed before, even since she’d found him all over again. She should be anxious, scared even, but there was none of that. Pressed against the wall with Connor’s body covering her entirely, pressing her down, all she could feel was protected, safe, and yes, loved. The brightness that shone in his gaze was more than lust. The way he watched her closely, monitoring her response to every little touch. The way he remembered all her hot spots, and made sure to touch them again, and then over again. Fingers moved from her wrist to tweak her nipple, his mouth moved from hers to lick and suck the spot behind her ear that sent shivers through her, even his cock, as hard as steel, pushing against her sent sparks of deliciousness colliding through her body. Her clit throbbed, desperate for attention, and she thrust her hips forward.
“No moving,” Connor whispered it in her ear, his voice quiet but firm. He meant it. His words were punctuated by a hand moving to her hip and pushing them back against the wall, immobilizing her. Anticipation ran through her. He’d always been as sexy as hell, but when they’d been younger, they had both been learning what they liked, what felt good. Outside of the bedroom, he was the consummate gentleman, with the ultimate respect for women. Many male-dominated professions were built on arrogance and, often, more than a touch of misogyny—both for patients and fellow doctors. Medicine—and in particular surgeons—were no different. Connor had none of that. Even when he was still in med school, he treated everyone with respect: nurses, janitors, porters, and volunteers. She had known this part of him had to be there, though. You didn’t get to be a surgeon without loving being in control. But he’d kept it hidden, until now. As much as the idea of the Jokers being out there had Ava a little scared—not that she’d ever admit it—seeing this side of Connor was thrilling. It wasn’t overbearing or taking advantage. No, every touch was as if planned to bring her maximum pleasure. His hands tightened on her hips, and he thrust a knee between her legs, forcing them open. Ava complied. She’d had a hell of a week. Giving over control to the man she loved and trusting him to make all her fear, all the bad things, disappear into likely the best orgasm of her life? That was heaven.
The comfy leggings she’d donned after getting home from work were gone in an instant, followed swiftly by her panties. “Are you going to keep those hands there, or should I use these to tie you up?” Holy fuck. Connor dangled the leggings in his hand, a grin on his face. He was enjoying this too.
Ava swallowed. “I’ll be good.”
“Hmmm,” Connor said. “I believe you. You’ll be good, damn good.” He leaned over and dropped the leggings on the floor. To her surprise, Ava felt something like disappointment, but only for a second. Connor’s strong hands gripped at her thighs, pushing them further apart again. “But I might find a use for them later regardless.” He dropped to his knees and Ava sent up a prayer of thanks that Emily was a sound sleeper. There was no way in hell she was moving from her spot on the wall, let alone making it to her bedroom, without spontaneously combusting. The heat running through her was immense, making every nerve twitch and tingle in anticipation. When Connor dropped to his knees in front of her, her pussy pulsed. When his tongue pushed through her folds and he sucked her clit into his mouth, she nearly came on the spot. She must have let out a sound as Connor’s hand shot up, covering her mouth. Damn, the man was tall. “Shhh,’ he said. “There’ll be time for screaming later, when we’re alone.” So he hadn’t forgotten, either. It was sweet. Despite the domineering position he’d taken, he was still looking out for her, always would be. She loved him for it. She’d never stopped.
All thoughts except pleasure fled from her mind when Connor’s hand moved back down and joined his mouth, tracing her folds before a finger thrust inside her. His tongue teased and nibbled at her clit while one finger became two, then three, pumping in and out of her core. She bit her lip in an effort to keep quiet as her need grew, but a low moan still escaped. Her legs shook with the effort of remaining upright. Damn, she wanted to feel his cock sliding inside her again, but she wasn’t going to last. “I can’t . . . Connor, stop, I’m going to come.”
He paused his ministrations, but didn’t remove his fingers, grinning wickedly up at her with them still shoved deep inside her. “Yes, you’ll come. Then you’ll come again when you ride my cock. Maybe even twice.”
He sucked her clit back into his mouth, and Ava’s eyes practically rolled back into her head. Fuck the Jokers, this man was going to kill her where she stood. As his fingers thrust again, curling to hit her G-spot, she couldn’t hold back any longer. Pleasure raced through her, overtaking her senses. Any promise to be quiet or not move was forgotten, and she cried out as she bucked against his hand, seeking more of anything.
Finally, her vision cleared, and she came back to find she had moved, now sitting on Connor’s lap in a tangle of limbs on the floor. He leaned down and kissed her, and then sucked the fingers that had been inside her into his mouth, licking them clean of her juice. “Fucking beautiful,” he said. He adjusted his arms around her and then stood, still fully clothed, and carried her down the hall. “Where’s your bedroom?”
Still half-dazed, she gazed up at him. “What?”
There was that damn grin again. “I know you’re tired, Darlin,’ but I intend to make good on all my promises. Every one. This time, you can lie down.”
She leaned against his chest, boneless but smiling back. She must have gestured toward the correct door, as he made a swift path down the hall and toed her door open. Laying her on the bed, Connor made swift work of his own clothing and soon stood before her in all his glory. It was the first time since their meeting again that she’d had a proper chance to admire him, head to toe. His skin was bronzed now, likely from riding and spending more time outdoors than they had as med students, a healthy glow. His tattoos decorated him like a work of art, highlighting his muscular form. One day, she was going to run her hands over each and every one, naming them as she kissed his golden skin. His legs were strong, holding him firm as his cock jutted out, thick and long. He palmed it, stroking himself as he gazed down at her, and Ava’s legs fell to the side, opening herself up to his gaze. His cock grew harder as he stared. Damn, she liked that, too.
Anatomy, even sex, had become clinical sometimes over the years. A means to an end. But lying there, open and exposed while a gorgeous specimen of masculinity openly stared at her with lust in his eyes, it was as if everything was new again. To her surprise, her clit ached to be touched again. She’d always been a one-and-done type girl, but lying there, admiring Connor’s physique, she wanted to experience that as much as possible.
He knelt down on the bed, his gaze roaming over her body. “Still so wet for me. Touch yourself. I want to watch.” He leaned back on his heels, still leisurely stroking himself, his gaze burning into hers. Her skin tingled at the thought of where to start. Ava’s hand moved to her breast, circling her nipple. She jumped at the sensitivity still present in her flesh. What was it going to be like when he
pushed his cock inside her? It would be an exquisite form of torture. She tweaked her nipple before reaching up her other hand and repeating the action on her second breast. Surprising her again, sensitivity quickly gave way to wanting more.
“Shit, yeah.” Connor’s voice was low, his gaze heating as he watched her. A drop of precum appeared at the tip, and he swiped it down his shaft, further lubricating the passes his hand made along the firm length. She wanted that to be her hand, or her mouth. Her pussy twitched at the thought, and she moved a hand down to her clit, circling there. This time, he hadn’t told her she had to stay still, and her hips echoed the movement, making her writhe shamelessly under her own touch. The earlier orgasm had heated her flesh to the point that every touch, even her own, was as if she were on the brink of orgasm and yet so far away, all at once. How long could she stand this for before she came again? Because if there was one thing she was sure of, Connor was definitely making her come again that night.
Ava kept circling, one hand on her breast and the other on her clit, until her head fell back and a moan escaped her. He seemed to sense she was close again as he planted his hands on either side of her body, holding himself over her. She didn’t need any encouragement, grabbing at his cock and guiding it into her waiting core. This time, he took it slow, and she was grateful. Thanks to her orgasm and now renewed arousal, he felt massive, almost like he was splitting her in two. She moaned, and he dropped kisses over her body, one of his hands taking her hand’s place at her breast, igniting a fresh round of fire within her.
Vengeance (Steel Kings MC Book 3) Page 9
