by Ann Aguirre
“I don’t think I can hold out much longer,” he admitted.
I grinned. “Best news I’ve had all day. Here, check this out.”
He took my phone with a curious look, then his eyes widened. “Holy shit. I’ve got almost a thousand views.”
“And forty comments.” Most of which said how fucking hot he was, but that was beside the point. I knew the internet would love Rob.
“That’s insane. You posted everything last night?”
“Yeah. I still need to set up the email to forward to your inbox. Or you can just tell me what password you want, and I’ll text you the log-in to webmail for your site.”
“I have no idea. Do whatever’s easiest.”
“Gotcha.”
It didn’t take long for us to get to Krista’s house. She was already waiting on her front porch, bundled up against the cold in a cute red knit hat and matching scarf. Rob got out to help her in back. His truck had a double cab or I would’ve given her the front seat—no making pregnant ladies clamber behind the seat.
“You’re Nadia’s brother, right?”
“Yeah, nice to meet you.”
Krista smiled. “Definitely. You were kind of a big deal when I was in junior high.”
“He still is,” I said, before he could reply.
“Oh, so it’s like that? I thought you were dating Avery Jacobs.”
I felt a pang of guilt over not updating her on our status. Between a full-time job, keeping in touch with the roomies and talking to Rob on the phone at night, plus video games and extracurricular coding projects, I wasn’t holding up my end of our friendship. Silently promising to do better, I kept quiet and let him answer.
“Not anymore,” he said. “Though we’re picking her up next.”
“Really? It’s so cool you stayed friends. I don’t think I could do that if I ever broke up with Kenji.”
“Her fiancé’s in Afghanistan,” I explained.
Rob had questions, fortunately, so that carried us to Avery’s house. I half expected I’d need to drag her out of the house, but she answered as soon as I rang the bell, wearing a cute leather jacket and designer jeans. Her house gave off a fairly foreboding vibe, with so many windows; it was a brick historical place with tons of character, but I also sensed dark history. But maybe that was just because I’d watched Flowers in the Attic recently.
“Ready to sing your hearts out?” I asked.
“I intend to watch and make fun of everyone,” Avery answered.
“No way. I’m getting you drunk, then you’re singing the Spice Girls with my mom and me. Or maybe TLC. We could rock ‘Unpretty.’”
“Agreed,” Krista said. “Since I’m not allowed to drink, I’ll be taking the blackmail pics.”
Avery offered a lip curl. “Your mom’s going to be there. How much fun could this possibly be?”
As it turned out, the answer was—OMG, a lot. Stuart was on stage when we walked in, and my mother was right. I actually stopped moving, so Rob bumped into me. Perched on a stool with the spotlight on him, he was singing his heart out to my mom, an absolutely soul-melting cover of “It Had to Be You.” I’d thought she must be biased, but nope. The guy had an absolutely amazing voice; there was no chatter whatsoever, and there had to be forty people in the bar. Everyone was completely focused on Stuart.
How unexpectedly awesome.
The pause gave me a minute to take a breath, resign myself to being around people. In settings like this, it wasn’t so bad. I did best one-on-one or in small groups. At an event where I was expected to mingle and schmooze, the only way I could cope was to become Party Lauren and bury the real me under five shots of something strong. We waited until Stuart finished the song, then the wild applause commenced, led by me. He took a bashful bow, then jogged down the stairs to the table where my mom was waiting. Bending, he kissed her gently, then sat down beside her. If he kept treating my mom so sweet, I’d soon be Stuart Lee’s biggest fan.
“We’re here,” I called, following Rob through the maze of other tables.
“Oh, great, you made it.” My mom stood up and took care of introductions.
For the first few minutes, we were busy ordering drinks and appetizers while a few more people sang, none of whom were nearly as good as Stuart. Then the DJ called out, “Dee, your turn,” and a statuesque African-American woman took the stage, dressed in baggy jeans and a gray sweatshirt. Stuart perked up, so I took this to mean she was worth hearing, and by the time she finished, I was in tears from her version of “Fancy.” I’d never heard the song before, but the story it told was absolutely heartbreaking, and in her husky, gorgeous voice, wow. I had no idea anybody so talented even lived in Nebraska. Which was probably horrible of me.
“Excuse me,” I said.
My admiration was such that it outweighed my fear of strangers and making an ass of myself. Mustering my nerve, I got up and went over to the bar, where the woman was rejoining her friends. “Not to be weird, but you have the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard. If you had a CD, I’d buy it.”
She ducked her head, pleased and shy. “Thanks.”
I hurried back to my table before I said something stupid. My heart was pounding like crazy, my hands trembling, so I clenched them. For someone else, that exchange would be nothing at all, but I felt like I’d just run five blocks. All the noise in the room went weird and full of reverb; Rob quietly wrapped his fingers around mine and held on until the tightness in my chest passed. Nobody else seemed to notice, thank God. While the others were looking toward the stage, he opened my fingers like the petals of a flower and pressed a kiss to my palm. I trembled from the heat of his mouth, and his eyes were shockingly dark with desire. Rob didn’t let go of my hand.
I noticed Avery looking at him now and then, but they didn’t talk to each other. She always cut her eyes away before he caught her, and I understood his caution even more. About an hour in, she went to the restroom. Rob waited two minutes and then headed after her. I didn’t want to be like this, but I had to know what he was going to say.
So I tried to be casual as I mumbled, “Bathroom.”
Krista gave me a weird look but since she’d just gone fifteen minutes ago, she didn’t offer to go with me. I skirted the room and moved quietly toward the hall under the unmistakable sign. There was no way I could go all the way down or they’d see me. So I waited just around the corner, straining my ears. I heard the doors open and close and a couple of clicks as if from Avery’s heels.
Rob’s voice was pitched low, barely audible at this distance between the guy crooning on stage and the karaoke track. “Are you okay?”
“I’m not the one who got punched in the mouth.”
“You know what I mean.”
By the sound on the wood floor, she moved a few steps, then stopped. “Jesus. What do you want?”
He won’t let her leave. I pictured his big hand curled around her shoulder, her face tipped toward him. Eavesdropping was stupid and childish; I should go. But my feet were frozen.
“I’m sure you’ve already heard that there’s something between Lauren and me. But I’ll wait as long as you say. I don’t want people talking about you.”
“You want my blessing?” She sounded incredulous.
“Yeah.”
“And you’ll never do anything with her if I say no?”
“Not never,” he said. “But I’ll wait a lot longer than this.”
“To salvage my pride?”
No verbal response. I imagined him nodding. Since this concerned me, I willed her to be generous. Come on, give us the green light. The silence seemed interminable.
Finally, she answered, “Fine. For what it’s worth, you have it. I don’t care what the idiots in this town think. But...it’s nice that you checked with me.”
I could only agree. He’s too good to be true.
Before they caught me listening, I hurried back to the table. Avery and Rob joined us a few minutes later. A warm glow suffused me at the sight of him; it was impossible to think I’d ever meet anyone sweeter or more amazing. Stuart sang twice more before I drank enough to make me brave enough to put my name on a card, along with my mom, Avery and Krista. Rob took it to the DJ for us, wearing an adorable grin. I cocked a brow at him.
“Something funny?”
“I can’t wait to see this.”
“I will kill anyone who takes pictures,” Avery warned.
Krista nudged her. “Don’t look at me, I’ve been roped into singing, too.”
Listening to everyone else was surprisingly fun. A white guy got up and rapped terribly, but he had so much personality that he got the rest of us to chime in on the chorus, helping him out. When the DJ finally called us up, most of my nerves had gone to sleep. I made Avery hold the mic we were sharing while Krista partnered up with my mom, then we sang the hell out of the Spice Girls. Or not. Because like half the club got up to smoke. I had a terrible voice, but I was a good dancer, so I worked shoulders, boobs and booty for Rob. He didn’t even blink the whole time I was onstage; his intense, purposeful stare sent shivers through me.
When we finished, Stuart and Rob yelled for us, along with a couple of drunk guys at the bar, one of whom seemed to be trying to get Avery’s phone number. She pointed two fingers at him, then shook her head in a no-way signal. He clamped his hands to his heart and pretended to fall off his stool.
Krista was laughing so hard that Stuart had to help her sit down. “Oh, God, this isn’t good. I’m going to pee my pants.”
Avery slid her a look and then quietly moved her chair two inches closer to mine. While Krista pretended to pout, the rest of us dissolved in muted snickers. Rob ordered another round, though I’d noticed he wasn’t drinking. Likewise, Stuart stuck to soda and lime, which looked like gin and tonic. After a couple more beers, I had the urge to hug him, but I contented myself with messing up his hair.
“You’re a great guy, you know that?”
“Uh. Thanks?” he said, slightly worried-looking.
“Okay, that’s enough for you,” my mom said, and I grinned.
We sang one more group number just before ten, and then it was time to head our separate ways. Most of us had work in the morning, plus it was almost an hour back to Sharon. Outside in the frosty parking lot, I did hug Stuart, much to his combined pleasure and discomfort. He patted me awkwardly in return.
“There’s room for my mom in the truck,” I said. “No point in you driving there and back, unless you’re staying over.”
“Lauren!” I got a thump on the arm from Mom for my troubles.
“You’re so weird,” Avery mumbled.
“If you’re sure?” Stuart glanced at my mom to be sure she was okay with the plan.
“It makes sense. I’ll walk you to your car.”
I took that to mean they were going to kiss, so I urged the rest of our group toward Rob’s truck. He was already warming it up for us, and Avery sighed a little as she climbed in back. This must’ve been a little odd for her, but I thought she had fun. Krista definitely did, even if she couldn’t drink.
Eventually, my mom hurried across the lot and got in the back. “Ready.”
The drive was companionable, though we sang along with the radio instead of talking. An hour later, Rob dropped Krista off. “Thanks, this was really fun. We should do it again. Call me, okay, Lauren?”
Avery was less effusive but she sounded sincere when she got out next. “I had a good time. Surprisingly.” The bite of the last word was mild, considering her reputation. “See you.”
“Take care,” Rob said.
She turned to study him through the truck window, and I recalled their private conversation near the bathroom. It was like she was mentally drawing a line between them. Then she jerked a nod. “You, too.”
“That was surprisingly civil,” Mom said as we pulled onto the road.
“We need to cut her some slack. You know how people talk around here,” I pointed out.
She nodded. “According to them, I have a drug habit and you’re pregnant.”
“Huh?” I swiveled my head. “I knew about my unborn love child, but since when are you into the crack? On the horse? What’re the cool kids calling it these days?”
She laughed softly. “Since I’ve lost weight, honey.”
“I would happily beat the shit out of anyone who talks like that about you two.” Rob’s tone was so conversational, that at first, I thought he was kidding. But I met his gaze in the passing headlights of another car. And nope.
“That’s sweet,” Mom said, apparently not realizing how serious he was.
Wow. Rob’s got a secret caveman side. Love that.
Too soon, he pulled into our driveway. It was just past eleven, and if I were a good girl, I would kiss him, then take a shower and get ready for bed. My mom thanked him for the ride and climbed out, evidently granting us privacy. It was bizarre having to worry about this sort of thing.
“So this is where you peck me on the cheek?” I touched his lower lip gently. “Because I won’t let you wind me up like you did yesterday.”
“No. This is where I ask you to pack a bag and drive to my place.”
“Huh?” My eloquence knew no bounds.
“I’m not sure how much you know about mechanical stuff—”
“Nothing. That’d be nothing.” Not polite to interrupt, but I desperately wanted him to cut to the chase.
“Well, a spring can only hold so much tension before it snaps.”
Wow. I let out a long, slow breath. “So tonight...?”
You got the all-clear from Avery. Now we’re good to go. Exhilaration warred with insidious tenderness that made me want to hold him every bit as much as I’d love to lick him all over.
“If you’ll come.”
Pressing my mouth together didn’t quite muffle the absurd sound I made, something between a giddy shriek and girlish laughter. “Give me fifteen minutes.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
The hour trip from Edison had left me fine to take the wheel, so I jumped out of the truck and raced to my room. Think, what do you need for work. Skirt, sweater, tights. Makeup kit. Underwear. Bra. Hair dryer. I could use Rob’s soap and shampoo, whatever he had, for one night. My whole body felt like it was on fire with a crazy blend of excitement and anxiety.
What if we waited too long? What if it’s not good? Shut up, stop thinking. We’re doing the sex.
“Going somewhere?” Mom asked.
“Rob’s place.”
“I see.”
“You can tease me later,” I yelled, grabbing my keys.
“Count on it.”
In record time, I was parking in Rob’s garage. Not a euphemism, but the symbolism made me laugh. He’d left it open for me, so I clicked the button and ducked out before the door closed on me. A controlled sprint landed me on his front porch. Dear God. I’m sleeping with Nadia’s brother. At some point, I had to call her. Or Skype. This wasn’t the kind of news you broke in an email or a text. But part of me suspected she wouldn’t get it because (a) he was her brother and (b) she thought he was an idiot. And I didn’t want to fight with her about Rob.
But that was a problem for another time.
I raced through the front door before I realized maybe I should’ve knocked or that possibly, I might come across as overeager. How many fucks did I give about the latter? After all this time? Not many. Every part of me trembled with anticipation, but uncertainty gnawed at me, too. How many girls got to hook up with the guy they’d been fantasizing about for years? The answer was probably the same as the first question I’d asked
mentally.
Not many.
Rob pounced on me as soon as I hit the dining room. In one motion, he scooped me into his arms and carried me toward the stairs. If I wasn’t completely infatuated with his hand-eye coordination, I lost the battle when he kissed me as he climbed. I was dizzy and breathless when we hit the bedroom. My backpack dropped off my arm with a thunk.
Dammit. He made me wait too long. If we’d done this sooner, Party Lauren would’ve been in charge of the sex, as she always had been. But now, there was only overwhelming need crashing over me, like a rough tide against sharp rocks. I had no idea what to do when it wasn’t light, when it wasn’t just for fun. I’d never been with anyone I loved.
I took one deep breath, then another, hoping he wouldn’t notice. This was no time for my brain to get overinvolved in my libido—bad enough it ruined so many other aspects of my life.
“You okay?” Rob set me onto my feet, lines forming between his beautiful brows. No joke, even his eyebrows were gorgeous. Not too bushy, not too thin, dark slashes that loomed over his so-blue eyes. And here he was, ready for me at last.
What is wrong with you?
“Yeah,” I managed. “I just can’t believe I’m here with you like this. It’s like a dream come true, and I guess that scares me a little.”
“Because dreams can turn weird so fast or because it’s hard for reality to match them?”
“More the last. There’s nothing wrong about being with you. In fact, you’re all the good in my life right now.” I meant it as a compliment, not that my life was such a train wreck. Hopefully he got that.
By his smile, he did. “Back at you, beautiful. You make me feel...everything, really. Stuff I didn’t even realize I could. Relationships before always left me feeling like...I have a piece missing or something.”
“There is nothing wrong with you,” I snapped.
Talking to him was helping. The knots unkinked. Odd how Rob’s voice could do that. Fear went away, replaced by yearning that coiled inside like the spring he’d mentioned before. Standing up, I yanked off my jacket and pulled my shirt over my head. In a few seconds, I was naked. Rob’s gaze swept over me, and it was a hot lash that tightened my nipples. I resisted the urge to cover up. If Rob was my safe place, I had to prove it by being brave in my own skin—with all the emotions and none of the pretense.
