by Ann Aguirre
That was when I realized he was focused on the uncertainty, not my mental issues. “Well, I can’t just assume you want to move in together again. Maybe you have reservations—”
“Fuck that,” Rob said. “I want you in my life and in my bed, full-time. I want my damn dog back. So let’s figure out how to get this done.”
“Wow.”
“What?”
“I was afraid this would be...harder.”
“Why would I be a pain in the ass over something I want so bad?”
He made a compelling point. Lying in his arms, I thought about the logistics. “School isn’t a problem. As long as I turn in my work, they won’t know if I move. Any hard-copy correspondence, my mom can scan and email to me.” That bothered me a little, though. “I guess it’s a little unethical to pay the in-state tuition rate after I leave—”
“It takes a while to establish residency,” Rob cut in. “So don’t worry about that.”
“What about the house? I’m living with Avery now. Are you thinking of selling it?”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “I missed the way you think about things.”
“What does that even mean?”
“You’re such a planner. It’s awesome to watch you work.”
“Yeah?” It felt a little odd to be complimented for my overactive brain, but Rob gave every impression of sincerity.
“Definitely. And no, I won’t sell it. That house is where I’ve been the happiest. I haven’t given up the idea that we’ll live there together again someday.”
Love swelled in my chest, so sweet and immense that my body could hardly contain it. “Who knows? We’ll probably be here for a while.” Once I couldn’t have coped with a big city, but I was stronger now. Anywhere Rob was, that was where I needed to be.
“Probably,” he agreed.
“Once you make your fortune, you can fund your furniture business properly. How are you handling that, by the way?”
“The studio hooked me up with a local carpenter. He let me use his workspace in return for some screen time on my channel, and I finished up the last of my orders a while back. Now the store’s closed while I see how Hot Property does.”
“I’m glad you’re not flipping the house,” I admitted.
“Maybe Avery would like to find a roommate and stay put? Cost of living is higher here, so it’ll be tough to swing an apartment and the mortgage, too.”
“But you’re a big-time TV star,” I teased. “Don’t they pay you the big bucks?”
He laughed. “It’s more than I made in construction, but for us to find a decent place that allows pets, our rent will be at least fifteen hundred, plus we have two cars to park, and that’s more expensive than you’d expect.”
“Wow.” Until I graduated, I’d probably have a hard time finding a job that let me easily cover half of that.
“Stop scowling. Like before, I’ll cover rent if you get utilities and food.”
“Okay. But you don’t want to stay here?”
“Hell, no. I just didn’t care enough to look for anything else before. This is a furnished unit, and I’m on a month-to-month plan, because when I first got here, I didn’t know if things would work out. But now that you’re here, we’ll find an apartment together.”
“Feels kind of like you were waiting for me.”
He smiled, his eyes warm and bright as a summer sky. “I was.”
“You know I’m only here for the weekend, right? I have to wrap things up, I can’t just take off with two pairs of panties for an international move.”
“Your practicality is killing my dreams.” But he was obviously joking. “Of course I do. You have to give notice, talk to Avery, get Happy. Lots to organize, so you should enjoy it.”
“I’m already happy,” I said.
“Funny. But I’m still glad to hear it. I’m not making you feel trapped?”
Ouch. I wished I hadn’t said so much of that shit, but maybe we’d still be clinging to each other in codependent dysfunction if I hadn’t. “You never did. As I already told you, I was lying. Should I apologize again? I’ll do a knee-grovel if you want.”
“When I get you on your knees, it won’t be to talk about how sorry you are.”
Damn. Even though we just had amazing sex, I was...interested. “So how much have I disrupted your weekend? Do you have appearances or interviews, anything that—”
“There’s nothing going on. I work out, sometimes I have lunch with Annette. That’s about it. So far, they’ve kept me too busy to meet a ton of people.”
Annette.
“She’s married,” he added, probably in response to my look. “And her husband thinks the stories about us are hilarious.”
“Oh. I wasn’t worried or anything. You’re in bed naked with me.”
He produced a mock-astonished expression. “How did that happen?”
A stray thought occurred to me then, and I had to know, though it was kind of a non sequitur. “I was wondering...why did you send the binders? Without a note or anything.”
“Sad, you’re supposed to be the clever one. Obviously, it was Lauren bait.”
“You expected me to call or something? Ask about them?”
“I was hoping. But you went one better. Look how well it worked.” Rob seemed really smug as he kissed my temple.
After that, the weekend was a sex blur. I ate a few things, but mostly I rolled around naked with Rob. Sunday morning when he took me back to the airport, I cried. Though I said he didn’t have to, he parked his truck and walked me all the way to the security gate.
“I’ll be back soon,” I promised.
“How long?”
At this point, I couldn’t be sure. “A month? Two at the most.”
He kissed me, hard. “If you’re not back in six weeks, I’m coming to get you.”
“Deal. Let’s see how I perform under pressure.”
We did a long, extravagant airport kiss—to the point that people around us were staring when I finally pulled back. It was so hard to walk away from him and go through the security line; I turned and turned, until Rob was out of sight, and I was on the other side of the walls.
Oh, my God, so dramatic, it’s a few weeks, not forever.
Since I didn’t have an international plan, I’d shut my phone off before landing in Toronto and when I switched it on as I landed, I had messages from Nadia and Avery, demanding to know how it went. As we taxied, I sent back to Avery, Rob, and an emoticon heart. She could take it however she wanted; I’d be home in a few hours. To Nadia, I wrote a proper response since she’d helped me find him.
Nadia: OMG, so happy for you both. Sisters forever??
I laughed, startling the old man next to me, then tapped out, We’re back together, not getting married. But who knows?
Once I retrieved my car from the lot, I drove back to Sharon, which seemed better and brighter than I remembered. It was late afternoon, and I had so much to do that I had no idea where to start. Mom, I thought. So I swung by the house to tell her my news in person.
She and Stuart were watching Antiques Roadshow when I knocked. I hugged both of them and said, “I hope I didn’t come at a bad time.”
“Of course not. What’s up?” That was Stuart.
Mom made a pot of coffee as I explained that I was moving to Toronto to be with Rob. “But...what about school?” she asked, clearly worried.
“I have a plan.” Understandable that she’d be concerned, given my history of running off whenever things got bad.
Crap, I’m more like my dad than I’d care to admit. But it’s not like that this time.
I outlined my idea about continuing with school in Canada. Since they were online classes, it shouldn’t prove to be a problem, provided she was willing
to let me keep using their Nebraska address. “If not, it’s okay. I’ll pay the out-of-state tuition rates once I—”
“No, that part’s fine.” She seemed bemused, focused on the mug in her hands.
“What’s wrong?”
“You’ve thought it through. So this isn’t a wild hair— And you’re really going. I will miss you so much, Lauren.”
“Me, too,” Stuart added.
I stayed a little longer, after I was sure I had their blessing, but soon, I headed off to talk to Avery. In a way, this conversation would be harder than the one with my mom. She had Stuart now and a happy life that didn’t revolve around me. Part of me felt like I was abandoning my friend when she needed me most.
Happy greeted me at the front door, shivering with excitement. She didn’t like it when I was gone, maybe worried that I’d vanish like Rob. Imagining the dog’s reaction when I reunited them put a smile on my face. I knelt to rub her belly, whispering, “It won’t be long now, honey.”
Avery was in the kitchen, making a grilled cheese when I got home. “From your cryptic text, I take it things went well?”
“You could say that.” I took a deep breath, bracing. “I’m relocating, probably in the next month or so.” When she didn’t reply, I went on, “You can ask Jill to move in. I know she’d love that, and you were talking about how you’d like to be closer—”
“I filed.”
“What?” At first I didn’t even know what she meant.
“After you left on Friday, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I told you to go for it—to be fearless. Yet I’m letting a pervert get away with what he did, because I don’t want people to talk about me? Or because I might lose some money? Bullshit. Half the town already hates me, so what does it matter? I’m not selling my soul for that trust fund. Fuck my dad and fuck my family. I went to the sheriff’s office and told them everything. It took hours. I repeated the story to, like, four people, and it got easier every single time. I was eleven years old and I didn’t seduce him. It wasn’t because I was so pretty he couldn’t help it. I didn’t do this, and I shouldn’t be paying for it all by myself.”
“Oh, my God, Avery. I had no idea. Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have gone with you.”
“This was something I had to do on my own. You’ve helped me so much, but you couldn’t carry me all the way where I needed to be.”
“Can I hug you?”
“You have two arms,” she said in that snarky tone that made everyone think she was a bitch, but really meant she was hurting.
She had been for so long. Dropping my backpack, I hurried into the kitchen and squeezed her close. “Are you all right?”
“Closer to it than I have been in a long time. I have no plans to stop seeing Dr. Reid, and it doesn’t matter if my family never talks to me again.”
“They don’t deserve you,” I snapped.
She pulled away, turning back to the stove. “Agreed. I’m way too good for those assholes. Want a grilled cheese?”
“Sure. Airport food is overpriced.”
At the kitchen table, we hammered out a plan, confirmed with a quick call. Jillian would be moving in at the end of the month, after I completed my notice, and just before I left for Toronto. I had a brainstorm as I devoured the last of my sandwich, now cold and gluey.
“We should have one last girls’ night, invite Krista to sleep over. Jillian, too, obviously.”
“What do you mean, last? Do you think you’re irreplaceable? The three of us will continue to rock out, long after you’re gone.”
“I’m glad. You’re amazing, and I want so much for you to be happy.”
“Shut up. Stop making me feel things.”
I hugged her, determined to make the most of the time we had left. Exciting as my new life promised to be, I’d miss aspects of the old one. We watched movies until late, and the next day, I went to work to hand in my notice. The office ladies didn’t say much, just processed the paperwork. In the evenings, I busted ass on assignments and Skyped with Rob, sometimes at the same time. At the end of my two weeks, Davies called me into his office for an exit interview. From the tone of his questions, he was wondering if his behavior had something to do with my departure. I answered noncommittally, amusing myself by making him sweat. On my last day, they threw a party for me with cupcakes and Kool-Aid.
That only left girls’ night to be ticked off my to-do list. Krista left Naomi with Kenji and since she’d just stopped breast-feeding, she came prepared to party hard. I had never seen her get so drunk, and by the time she passed out, she was wearing a plastic mixing bowl on her head and pretending to sword fight with a spatula. Avery tipped her over on the couch, snickering softly.
“And it’s only eleven,” I mumbled.
The rest of us drank slower, telling stories about high school. I’d forgotten a lot of them, but Jillian had a keen memory. I wondered if she knew about Avery, who caught my eye and nodded. That felt like she was telling me, Don’t worry, you can stand down. There’s somebody else in my corner now. Offering me the freedom to leave with a clear conscience was the best gift in the world.
We said goodbye two days later, before she left for work. Before taking off, I made sure Happy’s vaccination records were in order and loaded up my car. I’d boxed everything up the night before. Now I was following in Rob’s footsteps on the long drive to Toronto. Unlike him, I planned to do it in shifts, not straight through. Happy was confused but excited as we pulled away from the old house. As expected, the drive took forever, twenty hours and counting. Even after putting up at a motel that allowed pets, I was still stiff and sore when I hit the bridge for border crossing near Fort Erie-Buffalo. The official checked my passport and Happy’s medical records, then he waved us through. Three more hours, and I parked outside Rob’s place.
For a few seconds, I just sat in the car, staring up at his apartment window. He had been sending are-you-close? messages for, like, an hour. Since I was driving, I didn’t reply. Now I picked up my phone and sent, I’m home. I was still clipping Happy’s leash in place when Rob burst through the front doors, coming at a run. He opened my car door and his expression was so alight with joy that I misted over.
“Took you long enough,” he said, kissing me and ruffling the dog’s fur in turn.
“Worth waiting for?”
“Always. As long as you love me...and I know you’re coming back to me.”
Our life together might not be easy. I’d never lived in a big city before, never dated a guy who might be famous in a few years. But those were problems I’d face when the time came, not before. I was done borrowing trouble, done refusing to be happy. In that regard I could take a lesson from the dog, who was wriggling in Rob’s arms. Once he finished petting her, he set her down and handed me her leash.
Then he literally swept me off my feet, carrying me toward the front door. “What in the world are you doing?” I demanded.
“This is how the story ends, right?” His eyes were so very blue. “King Rob carries the sorceress off in his arms because he finally realizes he loves her and can’t live without her, even if she’s not of royal blood.”
“That’s how I wrote it,” I managed, conscious of the looks we were drawing with his extravagant gesture and the dog trotting along behind him.
“I have to say, I’m a lot smarter than book Rob.”
“Oh, yeah?” I held on to him as he juggled me in getting the lobby door open.
“Yep. Because I knew that all along.”
Oh, Rob. You are, and always have been, so much more than anyone knew. Even you.
There was no way he could’ve made me feel more at home than by proving that he’d finished the story, even after I stopped believing. He’d completely rekindled my faith in the potential goodness of others; with Rob, I could envision such a beautiful lif
e. In the future, there would be a car to unload, a dog to feed, application for a work visa, and then I needed to find a job. So many details...
But as he strode with me to the elevators, I let go of the worries and tumbled into my happily ever after, as I had fallen for Rob, endlessly and forever.
Bonus Scene:
The End Is the Beginning (Rob)
The Toronto skyline is beautiful just after dark. But I can only see manmade lights from other buildings. No stars. I can’t hear any street noises with the balcony door closed, and everything looks brand-new, so shiny-modern that the whole apartment feels like somebody else’s shoes. They might be the right size, but they’re not broken to my feet.
I never pictured myself here without Lauren. Really, I never imagined anything without her. She was like a tiny boat pushing the barge from behind, the barge being me. I’ve always been afraid to dream. When you come up with your parents acting like you’ll be lucky to get a job hauling garbage, it’s hard to expect more. Ever since I could remember, I wanted somebody to believe in me—to see below the surface. But I was afraid of that, too, because maybe there was nothing good to find. Secretly I’ve wondered if maybe I’m a faulty puzzle and if somebody wasted her time putting together all the pieces, she’d just find out that I’m incomplete.
And I guess she did.
Or I wouldn’t be alone.
The apartment’s so quiet. I miss my dog.
During the day, it’s not so bad because I have stuff to do at the studio. But when I’m done, the nights are a thousand years long. Lately, my life’s like running on a treadmill; sure, it looks good but no matter how many miles I put behind me, I end up in the same place. I have too much time to think, to wonder if there was a way I could’ve made things turn out right.
My cell phone rings. Every time, every damn time, my heart leaps. I want it to be Lauren, but it never is. This time, it’s Nadia, checking in.
“Are you busy?” she asks, like I have this crazy social life.
