To the afterlife, he means.
“What?” I take a step forward, alarmed, just as Ana bites her lip, a couple more tears silently slipping from her eyes.
“Ah, ah,” Thanatos says, his black wings unfurling. They come around Ana, further isolating her from me. I stiffen at the sight of her in Death’s embrace. “That’s not how this works, brother.”
I try not to panic. It would be effortless for him to take her from me. Worse, he’d consider it a mercy to deliver her from this world.
“Fuck you, Thanatos,” I say, “That is no trade.”
The only reason I want to rid myself of my immortality is so that I can live and die alongside Ana. What would be the point if she were already dead and gone?
“But I thought you wanted to save humanity?” Death says, his eyes gleaming.
To hell with humanity. I don’t much care about all the other humans out there.
My brother’s eyes narrow. “I see. You wouldn’t save humanity if this woman couldn’t be saved, too,” he says, echoing my thoughts.
“Does it matter what my reasons are?” I say.
“Of course it does,” Death says. “You are the bearer of the scales. You know better than I do that motives are everything.”
I take a step closer. The last of my reasonableness is burning itself away. I’ve stayed my hand, I’ve been more goddamn civil than should be expected of me.
Now the heavens open up. Rain begins to pelt down, and the sky flashes.
BA-BOOM!
The thunder rattles above me.
“Listen closely, brother,” I say. “The woman you’re holding is the only thing that matters to me. If you hurt her at all, we will have a problem, Thanatos. Your duty won’t mean shit in the face of my wrath.”
Death looks sad. “You have lost sight of who and what you are, Famine, to so easily turn your back on your task,” he says.
A bolt of lightning strikes a nearby tree—
BOOM!
The trunk explodes, fire and sparks bursting from the wet wood, and the small clearing we’re in lights up.
The corner of my mouth lifts into a smile.
“Have I now?” I say, gripping my scythe tighter as rain comes down in torrents. “And you would know, wouldn’t you?” I say, as my anger mounts. “You, who have not felt my pain or my anger or lived through—”
“Every human feels pain,” Death says. “I don’t need to know yours—”
“I suffered here for years, brother,” I say, cutting him off. “Years. Where were you then? Why didn’t you slay my oppressors and save me so that I could return to my task?”
Death is quiet.
I point to Ana with my scythe. “It was this woman with her pleasing enough form—”
Ana—God bless her vanity—frowns at that.
“—who saved me,” I say. “So, you and your offensive trade can fuck—right—off.”
I will find another way to be mortal—or I won’t. Perhaps I’ll keep my immortality right up until Ana’s death, and then I’ll make the trade.
Thanatos’s fingers dig into Ana’s shoulder. She glances up, giving my brother a look that would shrivel the balls off a lesser man, and tries to jerk her shoulder free. It doesn’t get her anywhere, but I admire her all the same. The knot of worry that sits in the pit of my stomach loosens just a little.
“Do you really think I’m going to let the two of you just walk away to continue on as you were?” Death says, raising his eyebrows. “Whatever you’ve been doing in this corner of the world, it ends today.”
Rain is coming down in torrents and the wind howls through the forest. More lighting flashes, hitting neighboring trees and setting the lumbering plants on fire before the rain douses them out.
I can no longer tell if Ana is crying, but her eyes are agonized.
It was too good to be true, her face seems to say.
I want to prove her wrong, but Death is one entity I cannot so easily vanquish.
“You heard my first offer,” he says.
I scowl at him, squeezing my scythe so tightly that my knuckles are turning white.
“Here is my second: Resume your task. Ride with your—” his upper lip twitches with distaste, “woman. Use your powers as they were meant to be used.”
Even as he speaks, the memory of the wind in my hair and the pound of my steed’s galloping body is so sharp it feels as though I could reach out and touch it. Most of me aches for that wild freedom.
Thanatos continues, “I will ensure that your female is one of the last humans to go. All you must do is take up your task once more. Let’s finish what we’ve started, brother.”
As if on cue, Death’s horse trots into the tiny clearing, followed by my own steed.
I can see it now: The three of us riding to the ends of the world. Thanatos would take humans right where they stood, and I’d blight the crops of any individuals who escaped his attention. We’d cut down humanity one city at a time.
Even now I can feel the oily urge to mount my steed and do just that. Domesticity was never a natural state for me.
Ana would be with me. It would be alright, for a time—
“Famine,” Ana says.
My gaze moves to her, still in Death’s grip. Around us the thunder has quieted, and the rain has lightened up to a thoughtful drizzle. I stare into her eyes.
“Don’t,” she says.
I can tell it takes a lot for her to say that. Her will to live has always been a dominant force.
I take a deep breath.
If I take what Thanatos offers, she would survive. But if I drove my steed across the world and made Ana watch death after death … well, that’s not without its own consequences.
She might live, but she might also come to hate me. I would make her into something terrible. I’m not sure either of us could survive that.
And even if—by some miracle—I didn’t lose Ana’s love, eventually the world would still end—maybe in one year, maybe in ten, maybe in fifty—and Death would kill her then, before her time was up. He would kill all his brothers’ wives. Death would finish the task that the rest of us turned our backs on and take our women at the end of it. They might be the last humans to go, but they would still go.
“Remember what you told me,” Ana says, her voice wavering, forcing me to turn my attention back to her. “Forgive. That’s what you’re meant to do. Even if—” She chokes on her next word, and has to restart again. “Even if it kills me.”
She would sacrifice herself. She broke me once, and she’s breaking me all over again.
But if we break, we break together.
My attention moves to Death. “I don’t want either of your offers.”
My brother holds my gaze for a long moment. “So be it,” he finally says.
I feel a shift in the air. Then, under Thanatos’s touch, Ana’s eyes roll back in her head. Her body sways, then collapses on the ground.
Dead.
Chapter 54
Famine
“Ana!” My voice sounds so far away.
I feel like the earth is disintegrating around me, that I am in free fall.
Can’t breathe.
Can’t think.
In an instant I close the distance between me and Ana. I fall to her side, my arms slipping under her torso. I cradle her in my arms.
There’s no pulse, no sense of life left in her.
“What have you done?” I say to my brother, my gaze pinned on Ana’s face.
I choke on my breath, unable to process—to accept—what I’m seeing.
“Ana,” I say, shaking her like an idiot. I cup her cheek. “Ana.” A tear slips out, hitting her chin.
I press my lips to hers, trying to breathe life back into her. Nothing within her stirs. I could make her body grow, but there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s simply that the soul residing in it is now gone.
I am being unmade.
Distantly, I’m aware of the gusting winds and the shaking
earth. I’m aware that trees are snapping and plants are dying and it’s my doing.
My brother took her, just as he promised. No discussion, no negotiations, no interest in hearing the rest of what I was going to say.
“What have you done?” I repeat.
“You’ve seen death often enough, Famine. I assumed you understood.”
“Bring her back.” I’m beginning to shake. A low, moaning noise tears itself from my throat. “You gave all of my brothers a fair trade. That’s all I want.”
“War and Pestilence were both willing to save humanity. You are not.”
I know for a fact War and Pestilence would’ve happily razed the earth, no questions asked, if it meant keeping their wives. That’s simply the way we work.
My grip on Ana tightens.
Slowly I look up at Thanatos, and I am filled with menace. There is a reason men don’t cross me and live.
“Bring her back,” I demand. Once again the rain is picking up and lightning is flashing overhead, and the earth is openly revolting and every blade of grass around us is dead.
BOO—BOOM! The thunder roars.
My brother stares at me piteously.
“You have my terms.”
I stare down at Ana’s lovely face, and her shining, sightless eyes.
Next to me, Death looms. “My other offer still stands.”
His offer.
His ridiculous, shitty offer.
I let Ana go, her body slipping from my arms, the ache inside me growing and growing.
“I wasn’t lying when I said that hurting her would be the end of everything,” I say as I rise to my feet. Already I can feel the land dying, and the last of Taubaté’s skyscrapers falling to the ground under the quaking earth. The wind swirls around me and hail pelts at the dead foliage.
I hadn’t realized I cast aside my scythe. I pick it up now, spinning it in my hand, and approach my brother.
“You would hurt me?” Death says.
In response, I swing my scythe, aiming for his neck.
Thanatos barely moves in time.
I lean into my follow-through, spinning with the arc of my weapon. I bring the scythe up overhead before arcing it back down, the tip angled to impale Death’s chest.
My brother has to leap back, his expression alarmed.
“Famine—”
Rolling my wrist, I swing the scythe around, seamlessly readying another attack.
One of Thanatos’s black wings snaps out, hitting my arm with enough force to knock the weapon from my grip.
No matter.
I come at him again, bringing my arms up and fisting my hands. I have a dagger strapped to my side, but I don’t bother going for it. I want to feel the burst of pain as my flesh lays into Thanatos.
My arm snaps out, and I punch Death in the chest so hard his silver armor dents inward.
He grunts, but has barely any time to recover before I follow the hit up—
Another damning blow, another dent in his armor.
I am not a man, I am something else, something bigger, and all I feel is pain and anger.
Again and again the blows come, each one landing against Death’s chest and caving in his armor. He barely has time to catch his breath—a sensation that is strange and foreign to him—as he stumbles back.
Fall, damn you.
Lifting a booted foot, I kick out at his knee.
He moves out of the way, his hand at the edge of his armor. I can hear the fastenings ripping clean away as he tears the breastplate off of himself.
“I wouldn’t remove that if I were you,” I say. “This is going to hurt a lot worse.”
Vaguely I remember the first time I felt pain. There’s nothing like it. It’s terrible to endure and a shock to a newly wrought horseman.
Death casts it aside anyway.
“You wish to fight me, brother?” Thanatos says. “Fine.”
He waits for me, and I descend on him again, fists at the ready. I throw another punch, my grief and anger consuming me.
But the blow never lands.
Death catches my closed fist. His dark eyes meet mine as his hold tightens. All at once he twists my hand until—
Snap.
I grunt at the sharp, shooting pain of my broken bone. Thanatos releases my fist then, and I clench my teeth, my breath hissing out of me as my arm falls uselessly to my side.
If he thought a mere broken bone would stop me, he thought wrong.
I bring up a booted foot and I kick him square in the chest, the force of my blow so powerful his feet leave the ground.
Death pitches backwards, hitting the earth hard, his wings pinned beneath him. Nearby, his horse whinnies, shuffling away from us.
I’m on my brother in an instant, my good hand going to his throat. His breath comes in ragged gasps, and I can see him wincing from the pain.
I tighten my hold on his neck, and he reaches up with his hands, clawing at my grip. He lets out a strangled noise.
I smile malevolently at him. Now he knows what it means to be powerless.
Under my will, earth splits apart violently, opening up beneath my brother. Mud begins to slip over his wings, pulling him down, down.
I’ll bury him alive. Then he will understand the crushing, suffocating feel of grief.
Right when he’s sure he will die, I will make my own bargain with him, one where Ana lives and I don’t have to destroy the world as payment for it.
Death grabs my good arm, his hold tightening.
In the next instant, I feel … odd. Weak and tingly. I choke a little on the sensation before I realize—
He’s sucking the very life out of me.
It’s the same ability I have, only his is much, much more powerful.
I choke again, my hold loosening around his neck. It’s a struggle simply to breathe as I try to force my body to revive itself.
Death pushes me off him easily then. Now it’s his turn to loom over me. He places a boot on my chest to hold me down.
“Do you still want to fight me?” he says, his black wings spreading wide behind him.
In response, I kick out at him, a blow he easily dodges.
He laughs, bending down to grab me. He drags me up by my shirt. My feet touch the ground for only a moment before I hear the great thundering thump of Death’s wings.
Then he’s lifting us both into the sky, our bodies rising higher and higher.
My breathing is still ragged, and though my anger burns hot, my life is still ebbing away from me.
The weaker I grow, the more my grief batters at me. I feel painfully human.
We rise high above the treetops as Thanatos drives us into the heavens. The sky around us is ablaze with lightening and wind. Hail pummels our skin and our hair sticks to our faces.
We’re covered with mud, the two of us a little worse for the wear.
“Brother,” Thanatos says, his face solemn.
I meet his depthless eyes.
“You may have started this fight,” he says, “but you know it is I who finish all things. Forgive me.”
With that, Death drops me.
For a moment, I’m weightless—so much so that I almost forget I have a form. I am the wind and the rain and the earth once more.
But then the lacerating pain of my injured arm reminds me—I am alive, Ana is not.
It takes the merest thought, and a plant begins to grow. It’s thin and malnourished because I have so little left in me to grow life, but I manage to make it grow tall enough for my purposes.
It reaches out and lovingly catches me from the sky. Its spindly arms lower me until my feet touch the earth.
I’m dusting myself off when Death slams into me, knocking me back down to the ground. I grunt as the pain from my broken arm radiates through me, the agony so sharp my vision clouds.
I blink away the darkness, and once again there’s my brother, looming over me. He gazes down at me, looking as patient and steady as ever, damn him, and his eyes are ful
l of pity.
The pity undoes me.
I’ve burned my anger out. All that’s left is a weakened, broken man whose heart is full of grief.
I tilt my head a little, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Ana. Maybe it’s a trick of the light, but already she’s beginning to truly look like a corpse.
A keening sound works its way up my throat
Everything hurts. It all hurts so damn bad.
“Please, brother,” I say.
Death rearranges himself, pressing a knee on my chest. His dark wings are splayed wide, hiding the sky from me.
“I won’t bring her back, Famine,” he says, gazing down at me. “Not without your agreement. You can hate me, you can fight me, but you cannot change my mind.”
A few years of torture might make Death reconsider, but I won’t dare do to my brother what mortals did to me.
We are not the real problem, after all.
I turn my head and look over at Ana again. Lovely, vivacious Ana.
A tear slides down my cheek.
I won’t let her slip away. Not now. Not ever.
All I want is to have her back in my arms.
That’s all.
My gaze moves to Thanatos. I close my eyes and swallow.
“Alright, brother. You win—I accept. Just bring her back.”
Chapter 55
Ana
I gasp in air, my eyelids fluttering open.
Famine stares down at me, my body cradled in his arms. As soon as he sees me awake, he pulls me into a tight hug, crushing me against his armor.
Of their own accord, my fingers thread themselves into the horseman’s hair, holding him to me.
“What … ?” What happened to me?
“I’m sorry,” the Reaper whispers, his voice broken.
“Sorry?” I say, confused.
My mind is groggy. There’s a metallic taste at the back of my throat, and I have this deep-seated and inexplicable feeling of being off.
I turn to the Reaper. “How did you get to me so quickly? Did I faint?”
The last thing I can remember is that Famine stood across from me and … Death …
I pull away from Famine, searching for his brother.
Death meets my gaze, his expression pensive.
Famine cups my jaw with his hand, and he’s looking at me like I’m the most precious thing in the world.
Famine (The Four Horsemen Book 3) Page 39
