by Shay Savage
“Like I’m out of control but still safe. It’s making me tingle.”
“Tingle, huh?” I take a slight step forward, pressing the length of my body against hers. I run my nose over her jaw and up to her ear. “Is it turning you on? Are you getting wet?”
“Yes.” She whispers so softly, the word barely reaches my ear.
“What’s that? I can’t hear you.”
“Yes,” she says a little louder.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, it’s turning me on.”
“And you’re getting wet?” I breathe the words into her ear, and she nods. “Would you like me to kiss you again?”
“Yes. Please.”
For a moment, I debate denying her the kiss just to be a teasing asshole and to see how riled up I can make her with little more than my voice, but I don’t want to wait any longer. I drop my hand a little lower on her neck and use the other one to pull her head to mine.
“This time,” I say firmly, “we’re going to do it my way.”
I kiss her. Hard. I grip her hair as I press my tongue between her lips, feeling her gasp into my mouth. I swirl my tongue, tasting her own, unique flavor mixed with mine. I back off, pulling her lip gently with my teeth before tilting my head and smashing my lips to hers again and again.
I release her hair but keep my other hand firmly on her neck, using my forearm to press her head and shoulders to the wall as I reach down and wrap my other arm around her. I grip her ass and pull her against my throbbing cock, grinding hard. I’m glad she didn’t bother to put her jeans back on and wish I had done the same. The pressure on my dick is excruciating, but I revel in it at the same time.
I slow the kiss, backing off slightly at first before gently caressing her lips with my tongue, kissing her softly as I release her ass and shift myself away from her body. With my arm outstretched, I keep my hand on her throat until she’s staring into my eyes, panting with need. Very, very slowly, I drag my fingers off her neck and slide them down her chest.
“How do you feel about my hand on your throat now?”
Kas lets out a sharp breath, and her knees buckle. I step forward and quickly grab her. Even though she is still supported by the wall, I don’t want to let her fall.
“You all right?” I ask.
Kas nods.
“Come sit with me again.” I take Kas by the hand, and we sit back down on the towels. I shift myself a little closer until our knees are almost touching and then lean in.
“There are things you really ought to know about my preferences,” I tell her. “This goes back to that total honesty thing I was talking about and why it’s so important.”
“I guess that was a sample?”
“It was.”
“What if I like things to be slow and gentle?”
My chest tightens a little, and though I hope she doesn’t mean exclusively, I’m willing to work with it.
“I’m versatile. I can give you what you want, but when it comes to my preferences, I like it rough. Very rough.”
“I thought you said you weren’t into pain?”
“Did I hurt you?”
“No.”
“Was it rough?”
“Yeah, I guess it was.”
“So, you see that there is a difference. Pain and rough don’t have to go together. That said, like rope, I tend to leave a few bruises.”
“Bruises hurt.” Kas narrows her eyes.
“Honestly, I think most people don’t even notice them until later. How do your arms feel?”
“Fine.”
“Look at your upper arms.”
She holds her arm out to get a better look in the dim light. There are clear, crisscrossed marks where the ropes were the tightest against her skin. They’re actually all over her body to a lesser degree, but the arms are the most noticeable.
“Technically, those are bruises left by the ropes. Do they hurt?”
“No,” Kas says, poking at her marked skin. “I guess I’m getting caught up in the terminology.”
“There are a lot of kinks out there,” I say, “and no one is into them all. It’s easy to get a little lost in the terms.”
“So, when you say you’re not into pain, what exactly do you mean?”
“I mean I don’t get off on beating my partners.” I reach forward and take her hand, wanting to maintain a physical connection between us. “Some Doms are into that. I don’t begrudge anyone their consensual preferences. It’s just not my thing. When I have people ask me to tie them up and beat them, I politely decline and point them in the direction of a rigger who is into that.”
“But you do like rough sex.”
“Yeah, I do. I’m guessing you haven’t tried any. The question is, do you think you’d like it?”
“Maybe.” Kas looks away.
I close my eyes and try to reel in my frustration. I have to remember that this is new for her. She’s probably never even had such an open conversation about sex, let alone sex with kink in the mix.
“This is why I need your honesty,” I tell her. “It’s so, so important, Kas. I’d hate myself if you said yes to sex with me and didn’t set the appropriate guidelines.”
“I guess we’ll just have to see,” Kas says with a shrug.
I cannot let her brush this off so easily.
“Do you like spicy foods?” I ask.
“Um, a little.” Kas eyes me, confused. “Nothing too hot, but some spice is okay.”
“Nothing ‘too hot.’ Gotcha. I like going to the authentic Thai places and asking for the drunken noodles at a level ten. That’s not too hot for me, but I’ll get you one, too, and you can try it out.”
“Not a ten.” Kas laughs.
“Okay,” I say with a grin, “I’ll make yours a nine.”
Kas laughs and shakes her head.
“It’s a gamble when you ask someone who likes spicy food if the salsa is hot. They might very well say no, but to someone who has never eaten a jalapeno before, the salsa is very hot. Does that make sense?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t want to pick up some Thai carry-out for us, order you a spice level of five—since that’s ‘not too hot’ as far as I’m concerned—and then have you hate your lunch. If a five is actually painful for you, I wouldn’t want you to eat it just to spare my feelings. I’d want you to enjoy your meal. If you don’t tell me a five is too hot and just muddle through, I’m likely to order a five the next time. It’s the same thing with roughness or pain as a part of sex play.”
“What you consider rough might be more than I’d like,” Kas says with a nod. “I get it.”
“I don’t want to give or receive pain, but if I have a partner who thinks the amount of pressure I put on her neck hurts, I need to know that. That’s why you have to always be one hundred percent honest with me.”
“Because you want me to enjoy my lunch.”
“Yeah.” I smile and reach over to take her other hand in mine. I hold them together for a moment before I look into her eyes. “Kas, I’d really like to have some hot, spicy sex with you, but I need to know what you’re okay with first. The last thing I want is to have you upset. To accomplish that, I need you to get through the embarrassment and give me some intimate details.”
“Like what?”
“Everything you’ve ever done. What you liked and what you didn’t like. I want to know everything you’ve fantasized about doing. If there’s a situation you think about when you’re masturbating, I want to know what it is.”
Kas sucks her lower lip into her mouth, blushing again. I let out a sigh and pull her toward me. I lean in close, press my lips lightly to her neck and then whisper in her ear.
“Kas, if you are totally open and honest with me, I’m going to fuck you just the way you want and need to be fucked. You are going to come so hard you won’t remember your own name. If you help me out here, I’m going to blow your mind.”
Chapter 8—Kas
I am firmly convinced
that I’m going to come just sitting here on the floor with Cree whispering in my ear.
I have never had anyone talk to me like this before. I’ve had the basic catcalls that every woman is subject to and the lame attempts at pickup lines from barely sober upperclassmen in bars but nothing like this. This is a completely new experience for me.
And I like it. I like it a lot.
“You’re wet and ready now, aren’t you?” he whispers.
“How do you know?”
“Your body is telling me everything right now.” Cree chuckles. “But what initially clued me in was saying you liked me at your neck. That was my clue, and I went with it. Think of everything else I might entice you with if you open up and share.”
He sits back, leaving my neck cold in his wake. He releases my hands and shifts away a little.
“Now, consider that some incentive to get you going.”
“Incentive?”
“Yeah, incentive.” He leans forward a little. “You want to get off so bad, tell me what I need to know, and I’ll make that happen.”
A shiver runs down my spine, and I wonder if he senses that along with whatever body language I’m displaying. The very idea of talking about my experiences—or lack thereof—makes me feel exposed and vulnerable. He’s right about incentive though. I want to tell him anything and everything he wants just to get his hands on me again, but I can’t bring myself to talk about something so personal.
“It’s just hard to put it all into words,” I finally say.
“Would you feel better about this discussion if you got to ask me questions first?”
“Yeah, I might.”
“I’ll be as open as I possibly can be.”
I start to shuffle through the dozens and dozens of questions I have, wondering which are most important, which might be dumb, and which might cross a line. He’s clearly experienced, and I am not. It’s beyond intimidating and likely would be even if I were comfortable talking about sex in the first place.
I’m not.
“Kas? Do you have a question for me?”
“Yes.”
“Out with it, then.”
He’s so open about everything, I really should be able to just ask without feeling like I’m having some horribly taboo discussion with my grandmother.
“I was just wondering how many people you’ve tied up and had sex with.”
“Tied up or sex?” he asks. “Those aren’t the same thing.”
“I guess both.”
“I couldn’t really tell you how many people I’ve tied up. Probably a hundred or more. Of those, I’ve had sex with seven of them, two of which were relationships, not just the sex. I’ve also had one vanilla relationship, but that didn’t last long.”
“Vanilla?”
“Yeah, vanilla.” Cree grins. “I suppose it could be considered a little bit derogatory, but I don’t mean it that way. It’s a term used to describe basic, kink-free sex. Not that there is anything wrong with the straightforward missionary position, but…well, I like sprinkles on my ice cream. She didn’t.”
“So, it didn’t work out.”
“It did not. It’s not anyone’s fault. We just weren’t compatible. When I got more into rope, she didn’t like it even though I wasn’t sexually involved with the people I tied then. She gave me an ultimatum, and I picked rope over her. It didn’t end well.”
“I guess it wouldn’t.” I scowl at him. “No one would want a piece of rope to be more important than they are.”
“If I had been in love with her, maybe it would have been different,” he says, “but I wasn’t. Rope is a huge part of my life, and I can’t see myself giving that up for anyone. It wasn’t so much the rope itself but the idea that someone who supposedly cared about me would demand that I give up something I love. It didn’t sit well with me.”
I think for a minute about what he’s said.
“That does make sense,” I say. “It would be like someone telling me I had to give up going to med school to be with him.”
“Exactly. I don’t think anyone likes an ultimatum. It’s not like we’re talking about drugs here. What I do isn’t damaging to myself or others.”
“I think it really did help me. It was a pretty good distraction from other things.”
I glance over at the railing. It’s fairly dark, even with the emergency lights glowing from various corners, and I can’t see the water down below, but I can hear it.
“That was my goal.” Cree grins at me, grabs my hand with his, and strokes my wrist with his thumb. “More questions?”
I pause for a moment, eventually deciding to start with the basics.
“Do you use condoms?”
“Yes.”
“All the time?”
“Except for when I was in monogamous relationships, yes. I also get tested every year, just to be safe. I had my last test about three months ago, which I can get for you sometime, if you like. All clean. Even so, we would still be using condoms.”
“Okay.” I let out a quick sigh of relief. “Me too, but the one guy was really shitty about wearing one.”
“Then he’s an asshole.”
“Ha! You got that right.” I shake my head a little.
“Any guy that doesn’t care about you enough to take precautions for the sake of your health isn’t worth your time.”
“That’s a good way to put it. He said that since I was on the pill already, it didn’t matter.”
“Again, he’s an asshole.”
“I know. I thought we had a better relationship than that, but it became pretty clear that we didn’t. He moved on to one of his study partners quickly after we ended it. I was glad for it to be over.”
Cree grumbles something under his breath, but I don’t catch the words. I’m not sure I want to know, and I really don’t care to talk about my ex, so I move on with my questions.
“Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?”
Cree hesitates but only for a moment.
“Yes, I have. Just once. It wasn’t really my thing.”
“Why not?”
“Too complicated.” He chuckles. “I like to be able to focus, and with more than one person at a time, I had to keep dividing my attention. It didn’t seem fair to either of them.”
“So, it was a threesome with you and two girls?”
“Yeah. Maybe it would be different if it were two guys. At least then I’d know who to focus on. She’d have to be up for it though.”
He gives me a look, but I don’t answer the question I know is on his mind. I’m not even sure I have an answer. It’s a realm of possibilities I have never considered, and I’m certainly not ready to think about it now.
“Do I get to ask a question yet?” Cree grins as he raises an eyebrow at me.
“I suppose it’s only fair.”
“You said something before about ‘the one guy’ you’ve had sex with. Did I hear that right? Have you had just one partner?”
“Um, yeah, just the one.”
“Serious boyfriend?”
“I thought he was going to be, but ultimately, no.”
“How many times?”
“Twice.” I feel my face heat up.
“Kas,” Cree says as he releases my hand and reaches for my chin, “that isn’t anything to be embarrassed about. In fact, I really like it.”
“Like it? Why would you like the fact that I don’t really have any experience?”
“It’s not that.” He drops his hand. “It goes back to what you said before about being turned on by what I was doing. Knowing that only one other person has been that close to you makes me feel pretty special. From what you said, the experience wasn’t great, and it gives me a chance to show you what it can be like. I might have a bit more experience, but I like to think I’m fairly particular about who I get that close to.”
“I don’t even know how you meet people who are into what you like,” I say. “It there a social media site just fo
r rope?”
“Well, there is one for kink,” Cree says with a snicker, “but that’s mostly to arrange events. I meet people at Gym.”
“At the gym?” I laugh. “Do you just walk up to someone on a treadmill or what?”
“Not the gym,” Cree says, “just Gym. It’s the nickname for the dungeon I go to.”
“There really is a place like that around here?”
“Pretty close to here, yes.”
“Why do you call it that?”
“It’s actually called Power Exchange. Abbreviation, PE. PE equals gym. Get it?”
“Ha! Yeah, I guess I do.”
“Makes it a little easier to talk about when we’re out in public.”
“That makes sense. It’s a little difficult to believe there is such a place here in the Midwest. Seems more like the kind of thing you’d find on the West Coast.”
“Dungeons and clubs like that are actually pretty common. Any major city will have at least one. Aside from Gym there are two or three other places you can go, but those are mostly in someone’s private home. Not my scene.”
“Why not?”
“Just not an atmosphere I’m comfortable with. I like being in a neutral area, and homes are, well, homes, a place people host their family gatherings and such and not a place I want to play. I went to one once and couldn’t get in the right mindset at all. Everywhere I looked there were signs of kids around.”
He laughs.
“I think I get that,” I say. “I wouldn’t want to be doing anything like that in the same place kids play. A neutral place would be more attractive.”
“Exactly.”
“So, do a lot of your friends do this, too?”
“Not necessarily rope, but a few of them, yes.”
“You mentioned someone else you tie up, someone who has anxiety, like me.”
“Not quite like you, but Rocco is someone I tie frequently, and it helps him.”
“What makes him so anxious?”
“Not my story to tell.” Cree presses his lips together.
“Sorry,” I say quietly. “I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It’s all right.” Cree smiles again. “It’s just not something I’m going to talk about. That’s his private life, and you’ll have to ask him about it if you want to know.”
