A huge cheer goes up. Time to find Ava and bring her downstairs for the final surprise. I scramble to my feet.
‘Better get out of the way, you two.’ Felix nods at us and we both step away. A light at the top of the house catches my eye, and I notice that the blind in my room is moving. The slats inch up and an unmistakable profile appears in the window. Martha. What the hell is she doing in my room?
She looks down over the garden in her imperious way, like a queen surveying her underlings, and our eyes meet. At my side, Kate looks up at her too. Then a whistle, a roar and a mighty bang make my hands fly to my ears as the rocket launches into the air in a blaze of purple and silver sparks, leaving a shiny tail of smoke and a whistling sound vibrating in my head. When I look back at the window, the blind is down again and my room is in darkness. And Kate is no longer beside me.
Thirty-Five
2005
Ava rubbed her arm where Lena had pinched her, while Lena went to fetch their coats from upstairs. She didn’t want to leave the party. The drink was making her head spin, but in a good way, and dancing with Danny had made her glow inside and out. She felt a stab of guilt as she caught sight of him and saw the way he was looking at her. Lena liked him too, but they were best friends and no way would they fall out over a boy. Friendship was way more important, wasn’t it? But the guilt was followed by a rush of pleasure.
He was back at her side as soon as Lena had gone. ‘What did she want?’ he asked.
‘We have to go.’
‘Why? It’s only just gone midnight.’
‘Yeah, but I’m staying with Lena and she wants to leave.’
‘What’s up with your arm?’
Ava was still rubbing the red blemish where Lena’s fingers had twisted her skin.
‘Lena. She didn’t mean it. She’s kind of forceful sometimes – but not in a bad way or anything.’
‘I bet she is. She was after me earlier, but I’m not interested. I’m only interested in one girl here.’ His brown eyes were looking directly at Ava, causing her stomach to flutter. His gaze dropped to her mouth, and it felt natural when his lips touched hers. His hands roamed over her back, his touch cold but welcome against her warm skin.
‘You’re beautiful,’ he said, looking deep into her eyes.
‘So are you,’ she said, but the ceiling was rotating and she gasped when a hand gripped her shoulder.
Thirty-Six
Ava
Martha waves the passport at me. Behind her, the sky explodes with colour and the gold lettering on the passport glints.
‘What is she doing with your passport hidden in her room?’ She peers out into the garden. Lena is staring up in our direction. ‘Look at her, giving me the evil eye. I wouldn’t put it past her to blast a rocket at me, obliterate me once and for all.’
‘Martha, don’t be silly. She can’t even see you from down there.’
‘Not literally, obviously. Who’s that with her?’ She moves closer to the window, narrowing her eyes, but as I step forward, a loud bang makes me jump, and by the time I’ve refocused my eyes, Lena has disappeared, as has whoever was with her. The constant explosions from outside haven’t helped my shattered nerves, and I sit down on the bed, only now hit by the reality of what Lena having my passport means. She’s actively trying to stop me going. How could she? But no, she wouldn’t do that. Has Martha somehow engineered this? I shake my head. Crazy ideas, I’m going crazy. A thought darts into my head and my heart beats even faster.
‘I hope my ticket is still in my case.’ My heart is thumping against my chest more loudly than the fireworks rocketing outside.
‘How did you book it?’
‘On my phone. Should I go and have another look?’
‘No, you’re getting yourself wound up. Try and stay calm. Even if she’s taken that too you’ve got a record of it and you’ll be able to use the mobile ticket, or reprint it.’ The panic recedes a little and I can breathe again. ‘Keep this somewhere safe.’ She hands me the passport.
My fingertips are white as I clutch it to me. I thought my suitcase was safe, my room a sanctuary at this party with my friends, people who supposedly care for me. But I don’t know who to trust any more. Looking over the garden at the guests outside, the smoky faces are blurred, just like my emotions. I’m not even sure about my own sister; what do I know of her over the past few years, what resentments have been building? Is she really on my side? Blood must count for something. I want to trust her, but the most important thing is keeping myself safe. And that means trusting nobody.
‘I can’t leave it in my room again,’ I say, ‘but I haven’t got a bag.’
‘Let me look after it.’
I hesitate, and she purses her lips.
‘Seriously? I was the one who found it, remember. I’ll keep it safe for you, I promise.’
‘Of course.’ I hand it over, hoping she doesn’t feel the trembling in my fingers. The passport is just one part of the equation. So many pieces need resolving before my way forward becomes clear.
Martha paces round in slow circles. Her movements are so familiar from when we were growing up, and I wish it was just the logistics of a game of hide-and-seek she was organising now. Dread is creeping through me, darting through each vein, as realisation dawns. Ben and Lena. It would explain why she would do this. An affair. My passport. ‘We’ve got Lena all wrong.’ My voice sounds strangely calm, even as my world is shattering like the fireworks in the garden, which are relentless now. ‘She doesn’t want to keep me here; she wants to take my place.’
Martha nods. ‘No wonder she reacted badly when you mentioned the engagement. If Ben hasn’t told her, she’ll be furious. She won’t know how far she can trust him. Come on, let’s go; we don’t want her to know we’ve been in here.’
Another firework bangs and a thought hits me. The ring. I can’t get across the landing to my own room quickly enough.
‘Oh no, oh my God, my engagement ring, what if she’s taken that too?’ I drop to my knees and rummage in my case, no longer bothered about keeping the clothes neatly folded. I grab hold of the scarf and my heart thuds as the ring box drops to the floor. My fingers fumble as I try and open it as fast as I can. Martha takes it from me gently and I hold my breath.
‘Wow,’ she says, seeing the huge diamond sparkling in the dim light of the room. ‘It’s a beauty.’
‘Thank God.’ I exhale with relief. ‘For a moment there I was convinced she’d taken that too. Can you imagine?’ I stroke the diamond before slipping the ring onto my engagement finger. ‘There’s only one way to keep this safe.’ The ring feels strange on my hand, a heavy presence. I swivel it so that the diamond is facing my palm. ‘I still think she’s trying to take my place, though,’ I say.
‘Well I’m here and I won’t let that happen. Even if she is having an affair with Ben, would he really want to give up the relationship the two of you have built up over several years? Those are conversations that will need to be had. For now, our main priority is finding out exactly what she’s up to. Don’t say anything about the passport …’ She strokes my arm as I go to protest. ‘I know it’s hard, but this way we’re one step ahead of her. You need to tell me everything, though. What was all that about downstairs earlier? Why were you so upset about the roses? You didn’t explain it properly.’
I take a deep breath. ‘I was dancing when I noticed a vase of black roses in the living room. Someone has been tormenting me with them ever since the accident. One a year. On the anniversary. Until today. It’s as if they’re trying to warn me. The roses weren’t there when the party started. Then you arrived, and they appeared. That’s what Lena meant. I thought it might be Gareth, because he turned up with one. Or you.’
‘Me?’ Martha looks incredulous. ‘I’m your sister. Whatever happens, I would never hurt you. And I can’t believe it of Gareth either; it doesn’t strike me as the kind of thing he’d do. It’s not his style. It’s too calculated, too organised. The Gareth I use
d to know stumbled from one day to the next. I can’t imagine him changing that much.’
‘You’re right, but Lena said—’
‘I wouldn’t listen to anything Lena tells you,’ Martha says. ‘That woman has serious problems. You’re better off without her.’
‘I can’t stop thinking about it,’ I say. Horrible images tumble around my head. ‘What if she’s planning on going to New York in my place?’ Lena wouldn’t do that, would she? She’s meant to be my sister.
‘Stop torturing yourself. What we need to do is talk to Ben.’
‘Has Mum got back to you yet?’
‘No, but there are other ways. I could contact him via Facebook.’
‘He doesn’t use it. He deliberately stays away from social media, says it distracts him from his work too much. The only one he uses is LinkedIn. Can you contact people on that?’
‘Not sure, but I doubt it. I could try.’ Martha takes her phone out of her pocket and taps and scrolls until she finds what she wants.
‘There he is. Benjamin James.’
The photo he uses is one I took on my first trip to the States. He was smiling at me, and his expression is open, friendly, dark hair in front flopping in front of one eye. Not the sort of man who would go behind my back with my best friend, surely? I’ve always trusted him, but with the huge distance between us, I realise there is so much I don’t know, so many opportunities for the strength of our relationship to be tested. His strange mood last time flashes into my head again.
‘I’ve sent him a message,’ Martha says. ‘Do you want to go back downstairs?’
‘What time is it?’ I ask.
‘Twelve thirty.’
‘I don’t have much choice. Most people are still here. And I need to have it out with Lena, find out exactly what’s going on.’
‘I’ll stay with you, we’ll do this together. But hold back what we know so far; see what she says.’ She slings her arm around me. ‘I won’t let her hurt you, don’t worry. Let’s watch the rest of the fireworks before we go down.’
We stand close to the window, Martha’s arm warm against my back. Outside, Felix steps onto an old crate and addresses everyone.
‘Right, folks, time for the big one now,’ Felix says in a booming voice that echoes in the air. ‘And then after that I’d like everyone to gather in the living room, where we’ll be saying our goodbyes to Ava. Rumour has it something special has been planned, so you won’t want to be ordering your cabs yet. OK. Is everybody ready?’
Martha raises her eyebrows as a loud cheer goes up.
‘Do you know what’s happening next?’ she asks.
‘I’m not entirely certain. Steph mentioned my piano, and I’ve been working on a piece of music, but I’m not sure I want to know exactly what she’s got planned. Nerves will only go and spoil it.’
A huge bang fills the room and the sound of a rocket shooting off whistles in my ears. Purple and silver sparks tumble through the air. A split second of eerie silence is followed by a burst of applause and cheers. Watching the explosion of colour and the reactions of my friends fills me with warmth, despite everything.
‘Hey, listen,’ Martha says, nudging me in the ribs. ‘Can you hear that?’
A chant rises into the air where moments ago smoke and colour filled the sky.
‘Ava, Ava, Ava.’
She squeezes my waist, then slips her arm through mine. ‘Sounds like your public awaits you. We’d better give them what they want.’
Thirty-Seven
2005
Lena stomped up the stairs thinking about Danny. He hadn’t paid Lena any attention all evening. She wanted him to notice her. She’d bought the push-up bra especially. She pictured Ava dancing with him and she wanted to scream.
The music had slowed down and the thumping beat from downstairs made the floor shake. She could feel the cider she’d shared with an incredibly tall boy in the kitchen sloshing around in her stomach. She belched and cursed as a heap of coats slid from the bed onto her feet, and she kicked them around with her shoe, holding onto the door frame to stop the room from swirling around.
Eventually she untangled Ava’s jacket. Her own borrowed fur one was underneath, and she pulled it on, stopping momentarily when a waft of perfume overwhelmed her. She stuck her nose into the collar of Ava’s jacket and inhaled a mixture of lemon shampoo and floral fragrance. It should be sickly, but nothing about Ava could ever be sickly. A sense of Ava overpowered her. She wanted her; not her exactly, but everything she had – her expensive perfume, her family, her life. And Danny.
She told herself they were only dancing. Ava was her soulmate, her sister, and she was a good person; she wouldn’t do that to her. She ran downstairs, her mood lifted, and stopped in the living room doorway looking for her friend. Ava was facing Danny, close to him, too close, gazing into those chocolate-brown eyes that Lena thought about in bed at night. Lena was unable to move as she watched Ava stretch her body upwards, her lips reaching for Danny’s, her arms sliding around his back. Something snapped in her, and she hurtled across the room and slammed her hand down on Ava’s shoulder.
Thirty-Eight
Lena
The blast from the final firework is ringing in my ears and flashes of purple and silver flicker in and out of my sight as the crowd chants Ava’s name. Felix mouths ‘Get Ava’ at me and I nod, not needing any encouragement to hurry inside. A man sitting on the sofa raises his glass at me as I go through the lounge, a sloppy smile on his face.
Ava and Martha are coming down the stairs. Challenging Martha about being in my room will have to wait. I don’t want anything to spoil this for Ava; it has to go perfectly. ‘What’s going on, Lena? We heard Felix’s announcement,’ Martha says.
I address Ava. ‘Come with me. Everyone wants to give you a proper send-off. Don’t look so alarmed.’ I smile at her and take her elbow, leading her into the lounge, which is now full of people. She is rubbing the scar on her shoulder and I gently remove her hand like I’ve seen Sue do so many times. She gives me a rueful smile.
‘How could you do this to me?’ But her eyes shine, and I cling to the belief that deep down she knows she can trust me.
‘Hooray!’ everyone yells, clapping.
Ava smiles, hesitant at first, then her mouth widens as she sees her friends gathered for her and I know I’ve done the right thing. No matter what other random stuff has been going on this evening, this is for her. Her special moment. She fusses with her hair and clears her throat.
‘Thanks, guys,’ she says. Somebody whoops and everybody laughs.
‘Speech,’ yells a voice, and a glass of something fizzy is shoved into her hand. Surely she won’t mention the wedding, as Ben isn’t here. Everyone knowing would make it more final.
‘There’s no need for all this fuss,’ she says. ‘All I want to do is thank you for coming, and I hope everyone is having a great time.’
‘Yay,’ says Steph, followed by various noises of approval from the crowd.
‘Of course I have to thank Felix for organising such a brilliant firework display. If you didn’t know it already, he’s a fireman, so I had no worries that you were in any danger whatsoever.’
Felix raises his tweed cap at Ava and gives a mock bow.
‘I’m also really happy that my sister Martha is here. As some of you may know, it’s been a while.’ Martha stands in the doorway with a smug smile on her face, and Lorraine beams at her, clapping, her neon-pink top shimmering in the light. I don’t even pretend to smile; all I can see is Martha’s face staring down at me from my bedroom window. As soon as this is over, I want to know exactly what she was up to. And there’s still no sign of Kate.
Ava continues. ‘I was hoping that Ben, my fiancé …’ she stresses the word, and everybody starts wolf-whistling and clapping, ‘would be here.’ She looks at me and I can’t read her expression, but I don’t miss the glint of gold from her finger. ‘He hasn’t arrived yet, but what does it matter as long as everyone
is having a great time.’ They all cheer, but Ava gestures for silence. ‘Finally, and most importantly of all,’ she says, ‘I’d like to thank my dear friend Lena, who has organised all this.’
Everyone raises their glasses and Ava taps hers against mine, and as our eyes meet, my chest swells with pride. I don’t want this moment to end, but she quickly looks away.
‘Three cheers for Ava,’ Felix says. ‘Hip hip hooray …’ As the crowd cheer rowdily, I scan the room. Kate is definitely not here.
Felix holds his hand up.
‘Watch out, the fireman wants to make an announcement,’ somebody says to calls of ‘Fireman Sam!’ and ‘Where’s your uniform?’ causing Steph to roll her eyes.
Felix waits for the laughter to stop, clearly enjoying himself.
‘Lastly – and I promise I’ll shut up after this, but this is something you won’t want to miss – as some of you know, Ava is a talented pianist. She was very good when she was young, but life intervened, as the saying goes. Her mother kept her piano, and in the last few months Ava has started playing again. Rumour has it she’s written a piece of music. We’d be honoured if you’d play it for us now, Ava.’
A huge cheer goes up and Ava’s cheeks and neck flush red. People move aside as she walks over to the piano stool. I follow her and place my hand gently on her back. ‘You don’t mind, do you?’ I whisper in her ear. She shakes her head, and her eyes are shining.
She flexes her fingers over the keys without touching them, as she always does before playing. I love watching her elegant hands floating there, creating the most beautiful sounds with the lightest of touches. She tried to give me lessons back in the day, but my clumsy fingers got in the way.
‘OK,’ she says, ‘I’m ready.’
The room falls quiet. Expectation hovers in the air, and the faces of Ava’s friends and colleagues are full of hope and love. It’s a shame her parents aren’t here to witness this, but people are holding up their phones expectantly, videos set to record, cameras poised to freeze the moment.
The Leaving Party: An absolutely gripping and addictive psychological thriller Page 16
