“Have what?” She did nothing to hide the anger in her voice. “What exactly do you think this is we’re doing?”
“I know you believe things between us were never destined to work out. But I know better. I know what we can and will be someday. It’s all right if today is not that day. However I wanted a chance for us to talk without interruption. To really explore what we may be able to have once more.”
“We have nothing. We will never have anything again. I’m seeing someone else.”
“That brute from the dance floor? You don’t want him. He’s an animal. Uncultured and barbaric. He assaulted me, and he’s damn lucky I didn’t call the police and have him put in jail. You need to see him for what he is and admit to yourself you don’t feel with him the way you felt with me.”
“I don’t,” she said, and relished the look of victory in his eyes, merely because she knew she’d get to extinguish it. “I don’t feel the same way I did with you. I probably never will again. Because when I was with you I didn’t know anything. I was obsessed with you. It was a long crush that you can only have once before you know better. You were right, it burned hot and intense in ways I’ll never likely know again. But that’s the point. It’s like crawling after you’ve learned to walk. It was exhilarating at the time, but once you find a better way, you don’t go back.”
“Why?” Pierre asked like a petulant child who was told he couldn’t have dessert. “Why are you acting this way?”
“Because I don’t want to be with you ever again. I don’t want to be the person you hypnotize into believing they are your whole world and then betray. I don’t have any feelings for you. And I don’t believe you are capable of having true feelings for anyone else.”
“Jessica,” he snapped angrily. “You know nothing. You know nothing of the love I have for you and have always carried in my heart. If you did you would never utter a word against it. You have love for me, but it is covered by confusion and hurt. I am here to tell you tonight that I will earn back all I’ve broken. I will never give up until I have you.”
“I believe that,” Jessica said, resting a hand Pierre’s arm, watching a glimmer of hope flash in his eyes. “I believe with all my heart that you will not give up until you have me. But once you have me, it will be like everyone else you’ve ever had. You’ll grow tired of me. You will cheat. You will lie. You will destroy me. I will never allow that to happen again. So much so that I have not loved another man since you left me. I have not allowed myself to be loved because I can’t seem to tell the difference between real love and the twisted things you do.”
“Hush,” Pierre insisted, but now more gently. “Hush for now. Can’t we just have a meal and talk the way old friends talk when they want to know what the last few years have brought them? I want to know about your life and what I’ve missed. Not this sadness, the good things.”
“I’d like to call it a night, Pierre, and honestly, if these are the games you’ll be playing, I’d also like to resign.”
“No, no, no, Pet,” he said through a laugh. “This was not a game to hurt you, but one I couldn’t let pass me by. I give my word I won’t do anything like this again. Please do not quit. I’ll never forgive myself. The minutes with you, even if they are not how I want them, are better than time without you. We can do it your way.”
“Goodnight, Pierre,” Jessica said, standing and bumping past the waiter, trying to hand her a menu.
“Jessica, don’t be dramatic,” Pierre insisted, standing and blocking her. “Don’t leave this way. I hear your words. I hear what you want. I won’t push. Please eat with me. Nothing more.”
There was something she knew about Pierre that made sitting back down and eating with him less worrisome than walking out. He wasn’t a vengeful man or a violent one. He wouldn’t make her pay for walking out. But like an animal who’d gotten a taste for meat, his desire would be heightened. Pierre would see her leaving as the initiation of the chase. That wouldn’t help her in the end. Maybe it truly would take telling him again and again rationally that they would never be together.
“I will get my own way home tonight,” Jessica insisted. “Non-negotiable. You’re not taking me home.”
Pierre threw his arms up disarmingly in agreement and then led her back to the table. “I ordered the Italian wine you love.”
“You hate that wine,” she argued.
“But I always like you to have what you like.”
How she would have eaten this up years ago. The small acts and kind sparkling eyes would have convinced her that of course he knew what was best. How could a man with that much passion for life be wrong? But now it felt like she was watching a predictable movie where she spotted the secret villain in the opening scene. She’d eat with him, let him talk, but she felt strong enough to keep his slithering tactics at bay. And that was what taking this job had been about. Even if it looked like she was losing the battle tonight, she knew she was winning the war.
Chapter 18
“You had one job,” Mathew barked into the phone as he raced toward his car, James following closely behind.
“Hold up,” James was shouting as he yanked at the back of Mathew’s shirt. “You are not going to go bust in somewhere and make demands of Jessica; it won’t work.”
“How do you know?” Mathew’s rage was boiling over, and if James wanted to be the one in the line of fire, that was his problem.
“Because she’s not that different than me,” James said, looking shocked by the words. “It’s true, and you know how to deal with me. You know how to get me to see the truth right in front of me. Has it ever been to barge in and tell me I’m wrong?”
“No,” Mathew said, hanging up his phone and running an exhausted hand through his hair. “Every time I’ve done that you double down on your stupidity, out of spite.”
“And I’m guessing Jessica could do that too. Just tell me what’s going on, and I’ll try to help.” James had never taken an interest in Mathew’s personal life on any real level, but now he seemed genuinely invested. Damn wedding ring was really doing its job.
“Emmitt was at dinner with Evie and Jessica when the slimeball showed up and then used work as an excuse to send everyone away. He just wanted to be there with Jessica alone. She’s sitting with him at some swanky restaurant while he spews all his French accent nonsense at her.”
“So what? She’s not going to fall for it. Give her some credit.”
“I’m just fucked up right now,” Mathew admitted. “I’m just fucked up and I want to ram my hand into this guy’s face for pulling this shit.”
“I get it. But go back to your usual way of thinking for a minute. How would the smart, calculated Mathew deal with this?”
“Since when are you levelheaded?” Mathew asked, angry that right now, logic was not his friend.
“Let me go down there. I’ll get Libby, and we’ll make it like we were just heading to dinner. It was a coincidence.”
“No,” Mathew said, dropping his head in defeat. He’d taken a breath, asked himself the right question, and gotten the answer he didn’t want to hear. “The right thing to do right now is nothing. Jessica is her own woman. I have to believe she can handle herself. If you guys go down there, she’ll know it has something to do with me.”
“She will,” James agreed. “Let me send one of our guys over. She won’t recognize him, and at least she’ll be safe.”
“Yeah,” Mathew agreed, solemnly putting his keys away.
“And I’ll take you for a beer.”
“No, you’ve got a new bride to get home to. I’m good.”
“You sure?”
“Positive. I’ve just got to get my mind off it for a while. I’m good.”
Chapter 19
“I hate to say it, but that Pierre guy is good,” Emmitt admitted as he slid another beer over to his brother. They were sitting in his office, ignoring that all the other lights in the West Oil building had been turned off. “Are you sure you don�
��t want me to go down there and just check how things are?”
“No, James sent one of his guys. I just heard a few minutes ago that Jessica is home. Maybe I just need to let this go. She’s pissed at me. She’s made her choices. We’re way too different to make any of this work.”
“Bullshit,” Emmitt said, slamming his beer down onto the dark wood desk. “Stop being so fucking dramatic. Do you know this girl or what? I mean you know what it would take to win her back?”
“What do you mean?” Mathew asked, taking a long drag off his ice cold beer and wishing it were something stronger.
“Have you been listening to her during the time you’ve spent together? She must have told you by now what’s important to her. You’re wildly rich. Just do something huge and win her back.”
Mathew laughed at this perfectly logical idea that reminded him of how different Jessica was and why he cared for her. “If I did that I’d lose her for good. Jessica isn’t about that kind of stuff. She doesn’t want big acts and throwing money around.”
“Weird, but kind of cool. Okay, so do the opposite.”
“That sounds easy, but nothing with Jessica is easy. She’s complicated.”
“The best women are. I can’t believe it’s taken you this long to figure it out. Do that thing you do when you make a plan.”
“She’s crazy,” Mathew reminded himself. “She’s really hard to understand. Keeping up with her required a shitload of work.”
“Then you’re perfect,” Emmitt said, spinning the top of another beer. “You’re the hardest working guy I know.”
Chapter 20
“I finished my lines,” Evie’s cheery voice chirped into Jessica’s ear so loudly she had to pull the phone away. It was late and Jessica had just escaped dinner with Pierre and assumed sliding into her sweatpants would be her reward.
“Good,” Jessica replied through a long annoyed breath.
“I thought maybe we could hit up some night clubs or something. Are you still with Pierre?”
“I’m not.” Jessica wished this girl would smarten up and see the writing on the wall. But she also remembered vividly how it felt to be around this new and exciting world for the first time.
“Isn’t he the best?” Evie asked in a dreamy sort of way that made Jessica want to vomit. “He sent me this really nice text message making sure I got home all right and telling me how talented he thinks I am.”
The urge to utter a little phrase like, you stupid, beautiful girl don’t fall for this, was tempting but she knew it wouldn’t help. When you’re young and you believe something, anyone who tells you otherwise is a fool.
“Where are you now?” Jessica asked, worried for her the way you’d worry for a deer standing too close to a busy road. The inevitability of it all.
“Emmitt dropped me off at home an hour or so ago. I’m not tired at all, but I’m super bored. Maybe I’ll just catch a cab and try to figure out where the hot spots are.”
“Don’t,” Jessica groaned, rolling out of her bed and flipping on the light. “I’ll grab a cab and swing by your place. But we can’t stay out too late. We’re both needed on set early tomorrow.”
“Absolutely,” Evie promised, sounding as though she was getting exactly what she hoped for. “It’s just being this close to the city and not taking advantage of it seems like such a waste. The farm I grew up on was painfully dull. This is finally my chance.”
“Okay,” Jessica said absentmindedly as she slid back into her jeans and searched for a club-worthy top that wouldn’t draw too much attention. That was a first for her. But tonight she truly didn’t want anyone’s eyes on her. She wanted to stay folded up in her bed and hide until something in her life made sense again.
Twenty minutes later she was plastering on a smile and chugging a double shot espresso as Evie sunk into the cab. Reminding herself over and over again, maybe if someone had befriended her rather than made her an outcast and a target when she first met Pierre, things would have turned out differently.
“This is so exciting,” Evie sang out as she clapped her hands together. “I feel like I might burst. Thank you so much for coming out with me tonight.”
“Did you not get out a lot back home?”
“There was nowhere to go,” Evie explained. “Unless you liked cow tipping and skinny dipping. I’ve been dreaming of bigger things my whole life, and now I’m finally here because of Pierre. Well, tonight I’m here because of you. So thanks again for coming.
“I was worried,” Jessica admitted, unable to beat down her better judgment and climb out on that frail and shaking limb.
“Worried about what?” Evie asked, flashing confused blue eyes. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I was just like you not very long ago, and trust me, there is plenty to worry about.” She flipped open the small mirror in her hand and checked her makeup, trying to act as though this were just a casual conversation and not a lecture.
“Pierre says—”
“Stop,” Jessica nearly shouted as she snapped the mirror closed. “Please don’t quote Pierre right now. Please don’t act like he has your best interest at heart.”
“What do you mean? He’s given me this break. He’s changing my life. If you could have seen the town I came from, you’d know how big of a deal this is. I owe him.”
“No,” Jessica corrected as the cab started down the street. “You earned this opportunity. If you walk around feeling like you are in debt to men like Pierre . . . guess what? They start trying to collect. You need to understand this business, know this world, is full of people ready to use you and then throw you away.”
“Oh,” Evie said, dropping her head down in embarrassment. “You think I’m being silly and naïve? Everyone always says that about me.”
Jessica instantly felt guilty for hurting Evie’s feelings. It wasn’t her intention. “I don’t want to see you make the mistakes I did.”
“And Pierre was one of those mistakes? I might miss a lot, but I couldn’t miss that. There was clearly something between you two.”
“There is nothing between us,” Jessica corrected hastily, shooting Evie a look that couldn’t be mistaken for anything less than dead serious.
“But there was?” Evie challenged, twisting her lips in a knowing smirk as though a hash mark had just been placed in her column on the score card.
“No, honestly there was never anything real between us. I was a stupid girl who opened herself up and fell in love with a situation, completely willing to overlook the man. I’m sorry if this feels like I’m lecturing you or that I’m some old bitter spinster. I was reluctant to say anything. I know how this can sound.”
“No,” Evie said with a cheery smile, patting her leg, not wanting Jessica to feel bad. “I think I need to hear this. I just want everything to go well. I want, no I need, my life to change. Pierre could have picked any of the hundreds of women who wanted this job, and he picked me. I guess I feel like I should owe him something.”
“You just need to know what you’re willing to do to change your own life. And wherever that line is in your heart, don’t cross it. Don’t be foolish enough to think that a man is making you into something. Only you can do that.”
“This is heavy,” Evie sighed, slouching back. “We need to drink. We need to drink so much.”
“We do,” Jessica admitted with a small smile. She could use a glass . . . hell a bottle of good red wine. Maybe she could inspire Evie with her years of wisdom, and they could have some good laughs.
Within an hour Jessica found the well of her wisdom was more like a puddle, and a rather shallow one. For if she were truly wise she’d have realized this farm girl who’d just turned twenty-one had never had a drink before besides some strawberry wine on a dare. She’d truly never danced in a club or climbed up on the table to show off her moves. Evie wasn’t so much embracing her freedom as she was grabbing it by the throat and strangling it.
“You need to get down,” Jessica y
elled at Evie on the table, slapping away some idiot’s pawing hands. “Get away,” she insisted to the dude with his hat spun backward and his pants sagging. “She’s not dancing for you.”
“Hey, I’m just . . .” the guy slurred, but Jessica was in no mood.
“Get the fuck away before I rip the sleeves off that discount shirt, roll them up, and shove them halfway down your throat. Then I will literally set you on fire like you’re a human Molotov cocktail. Do you understand me?” She pushed her body between Evie’s table/dance floor and this fool.
His arms shot up and his eyes went wide. “Crazy bitch,” he muttered as he backed away.
“Get down,” Jessica yelled again over the thumping music. “It’s time to go home. You’re way too drunk.”
“I’m alive,” Evie sang. “I’m finally alive.” Her heel slipped, and she braced herself on the nearby wall.
“Shit.” She pulled out her phone and thought about who would be her lifeline tonight. She could call Libby and have her send James out. That was something a wife could make her husband do, right? Go save my best friend’s weird drunken new friend. That might be pushing it.
Emmitt would be the perfect solution, but she didn’t have his number and she doubted Evie would give it up, considering it would be the end of her fun.
Her eyes fell on Mathew’s name, and she knew he’d come. She knew if she asked him to show up he would. Evie grabbed the bottom of her silk shirt, looking like she might yank it upward and flash the crowd of onlookers. Jessica knew she had to act. “No,” she said, slapping Evie’s hands away. “Every camera phone in this place will be snapping pictures. You’ll be fired.” That part was a lie. A solid flasher shot leading up to a movie release was good for business.
“Oh,” Evie said, her face crumpling into tears. “I don’t want that.” Before Jessica could persuade her to get down, another song with a hypnotizing beat took over Evie’s hips and sent them shaking again.
The Barrington Billionaires Collection 1 Page 32
