by Jen Gilroy
“So, talk.” Her voice was cool, and she sat ramrod straight, like a soldier preparing for battle.
“I hope you know how much I care about you, and I’d never do anything to hurt you.” His mouth went tinder dry, and his body got cold. “All I wanted was to help you and make you happy.”
“I care about you, too. And you already make me happy.” She took several quick breaths, and her chest heaved beneath her scoop-necked purple T-shirt.
He took her hand, and there was an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. “See, the thing is, I sent your song, ‘My Hometown Heart,’ to this Nashville music producer I know. I asked him to tell me what he thought about it.”
“You did what?” She yanked her hand away, and her face went white. “And without a word to me? How could you go behind my back?” Her eyes blazed blue fire, and she wrapped her arms around herself.
“I didn’t want you to be disappointed if Rick wasn’t interested, but if he liked your song, I thought it could be your big chance. I wanted to make that happen for you.” Seth bunched his clammy hands into fists.
“It could be your big chance too, couldn’t it? I heard what happened with your music publishing company and how you’re not writing songs anymore. Everybody knows, it’s all over the Internet, but we didn’t want to upset you by saying anything.” She jumped to her feet and backed away from him. “My song is my song. You had no right to share it with this Rick, or anybody else, without telling me first.”
Guilt and shame jabbed Seth’s chest. “Maybe I was wrong, but if I told you and Rick said your song was nothing special, I knew you’d be hurt. He’s the kind of guy who doesn’t mince words. He tells it like it is.” He got to his feet and reached for her, but she stumbled backward toward the table. “You’d only started singing in public again. You believed in yourself. I didn’t want you to stop. And I am writing my own songs. Being here, you . . . you’re the reason I can write again.” His stomach heaved. How could he make her understand he’d meant well? And why had he let stupid pride stop him from telling her what had happened in LA?
“I trusted you enough to share my songs with you. I even let myself . . .” She sucked in a breath and two red patches bloomed on her pale cheeks.
“Hang on, it’s good news. Rick called me. He loves ‘My Hometown Heart.’ He talked to Pete too, and Pete told him what a class act you are.” As Seth stared into her furious face, the knot in his belly got even tighter. “Rick wants to come here to meet you and hear you sing.”
“When?” Her voice was icy, and she held up a hand as if to ward him off.
“Three days from now, if that timing works for you.” He cringed, and the tingling in his hands spread throughout his body. “Annie, I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be so upset. I thought you’d be happy.”
“Well, I’m not.” She gripped the back of one of the dinette chairs. “Let me get this straight.” Her voice was low, but he heard every word with awful clarity. “You sent the recording of my song to this Rick guy, without telling me. Then you talked to him about me, and he talked to Pete, and all the while I knew nothing about any of it? Even though it’s my song, my life, and maybe even my career?” She pressed a fist to her mouth.
When she put what he’d done like that, it sounded even worse. Seth’s chest hurt. “Yes, that’s what I did, but you have to understand, I didn’t want you to get your hopes up and be disappointed.”
“I’m not a child, and I understand all right.” She choked out the words. “You betrayed me.” She moved toward the window. “Just like Todd.”
“No, I . . . how, what do you mean?”
“Todd and I sang together, too, like you and I do. And at first, he liked my songs, same as you. Then he said he’d help make them better.” Her eyes got shiny. “And he took a bunch of my songs, ones we’d worked on together, and shared them with a music publisher. Then Todd made a deal for one of the songs and he didn’t even name me as a songwriter.”
“He had no business—”
“No, he didn’t, but you had no business, either. I’m not the naïve girl I was all those years ago. I’m not pregnant, either.” She stiffened. “When I confronted Todd about what he did, he said my songs wouldn’t have gone anywhere without his input. According to him, I had no talent, but later, when another artist recorded my song, they made it onto the charts. And then he . . .” Her chest heaved and she made a low, guttural sound. “You already know the rest.”
Seth clenched and unclenched his hands as the world spun and then seemed to slow down. “Todd was wrong. You do have talent. A man like Rick wouldn’t come all the way here if you didn’t.”
“Even if that’s true, all those times we were together, did you never think of telling me you loved my song so much you wanted to share it with him? Did you never think of asking me what I thought about that?” Her face went slack, and she pressed a hand to her temple.
“I did, but I thought you’d say no.” His throat got thick.
“Maybe I would have, but you didn’t even give me a choice. I should have had that choice, but, like Todd, you went behind my back. You and Pete both.”
“Pete didn’t do anything.” The blame for this mess sat squarely on Seth’s shoulders. “Rick worked with him on a couple of albums, and since Pete helped you make the recording, Rick gave him a call.” If only Seth could go back and do things differently, he would, but he couldn’t, so he had to finish this the best he could. “Pete and his studio musicians thought you and Hannah were great.”
“Hannah?” Annie flinched. “You didn’t only betray me. You betrayed my daughter, too.”
“Of course I didn’t.” He took a deep breath and held his hands behind his back. “Whether you like it or not, Hannah’s going to try to make it in the music business. You can’t control that.”
“Says the guy who already tried to control my career.” Annie gulped. “Only last week I told you how good it felt to make my own decisions and not be scared.” Her voice cracked. “I even thanked you for not taking over with my music, but all the time you . . . was it some kind of twisted joke?”
“No, never.” His voice rasped.
“Well, you can call Rick and tell him he doesn’t need to come here.” She crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a fixed stare.
“I could, but think about it. Rick might be able to help you have a real music career. He could help you have a second chance.” Sweat trickled down Seth’s back under his shirt between his shoulder blades. “Don’t miss this opportunity because you’re mad at me. Sing for him, Annie. Not because I set it up. Sing for you.”
“And if I do, then what?” Her voice rose, and she rubbed a hand across her forehead.
“Maybe he’ll want to work with you and maybe he won’t, but at least you’ll know. You’ve spent a lot of years denying who you are and what you want.” Seth stared at Annie and willed her to believe him. “I made a mistake, and I’m sorrier than you can ever know, but I only had your best interests at heart. Since I opened that door, it’s up to you whether you walk through it or not.”
“And you?” Annie’s eyes narrowed. “Unlike Todd, you didn’t pass off my song as yours, but there must be a cut for you somewhere in this. Am I your second chance in the music business, too? And what about Hannah? Were you planning to get her a record deal behind my back?”
“Of course not. I’d never go behind your back with Hannah.” He took a deep breath. He owed her the truth, even if she didn’t want to hear it. “If I’d heard your songs when I still had my music publishing company, I’d have wanted to collaborate with you, but I don’t have that company anymore. And I should have told you what happened in LA. I wanted to, but my business partner—I was embarrassed and humiliated by what happened with him. I felt like a failure. I shouldn’t have felt like that with you or anyone here and I’m sorry abo
ut that, too.”
“I don’t care what happened in LA or how you feel.” The bitterness in her voice stabbed his heart. “But if my song was a hit and people knew you’d discovered me, that wouldn’t hurt you, would it? How do I know you don’t want to start another company? You’re a city guy. You belong in LA, not Irish Falls.” Her voice was grim.
“I . . .” He’d thought he wanted LA, but lately he hadn’t been sure. All he knew was he wanted her and what they had together.
“I trusted you.” She paused for a heartbeat. “I trusted you so much I fell in love with you. I didn’t plan to, but I did. I’ve wanted to tell you for weeks, but I could never find the right time. More fool me.”
Blood thundered in Seth’s ears. “I love you, too. And because I love you, I wanted to help you. That’s why I contacted Rick about your song.”
“Why should I believe you?” Her laugh was cynical. “You love my music. But me? I don’t think so. If you really loved me, you’d have paid attention to what I wanted and understood who I am, all of me.”
“Please . . .” He took a step toward her, and she whirled toward the door.
“No.” Her voice was brittle. “It’s over. The music and everything. I thought I knew you, but I don’t. And maybe you don’t know who you are, either.” She straightened her shoulders and stuck her chin up. “You’re Jake’s son, but have you told anybody except me? Have you told me, or anybody else, what you’re planning to do with the station once the six months Jake set out in his will are up? Or are you even planning to stay the full six months? Maybe I’ll wake up one morning and you’ll be gone.”
“No. I wouldn’t do that.” Except, he didn’t know what his future plans were. He’d reconciled with Dylan, but as for the rest of his life—as for Annie—he’d only thought about the day to day. And he’d let her down. His lips went numb, and he couldn’t breathe.
“You also never talk much about the past or your ex-wife.”
“Because that’s the past.” He forced the words out.
“It seems to me your past has a lot to do with your present.” Her voice went flat, and her shoulders slumped. “People here like your show, and they like you. Everybody came to that birthday party because you’re an important part of this town.” Her chin trembled. “You let me down, but if you ever let Hannah or the people of Irish Falls down, that would be even worse.”
“Annie, I’m sorry.” The backs of his eyes burned, and his legs went weak.
“I’m sorry, too.” She looked at him for a long moment, her expression bleak. “Text me Rick’s number and leave the music we were working on in the bakery. I don’t want to hear from you again.” She inhaled, and it was as if she suddenly became taller and more confident. “You were right, though. You did open a door, and it’s up to me whether I walk through it or any other one.”
She turned and then was gone. The apartment door shut behind her with a soft click. It would have hurt less and been less final if she’d slammed it.
Seth looked around the soulless apartment like he’d never seen it before. He couldn’t change what he’d done. More important was what he had to do now.
Chapter 22
“Do you want me to talk to Seth, man to man?” Duncan hovered over Annie as she huddled in a corner of her living room sofa.
“No.” Annie tried to smile, but more tears leaked out of her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. “It’s not because you’re my stepfather, either. Even if my own dad were still alive, I wouldn’t want him talking to Seth. I’m an adult. I have to handle this myself.”
“I’m never making that man a butter tart again as long as I live.” From her place on the rug near Annie’s feet, Tara passed her a new box of tissues.
“He can live without baking, but I appreciate the thought.” Annie took a handful of tissues and blew her nose.
“I can sneak over behind the station in the middle of the night and let the air out of his tires.” Rowan grinned at Annie from the footstool beside the sofa. “A friend did that to her ex. Maybe it’s childish, but she said it sure felt good.”
“You wouldn’t.” Annie let out a wheezy breath, a futile attempt at a laugh. No matter what, her family was always there when she needed them.
“No, but I can have the satisfaction of thinking about it.” Rowan’s smile broadened. “One small action for my sister in solidarity for mistreated women everywhere.”
After Seth had ripped out her heart and stomped all over it, Annie had wanted to go home without seeing anybody, her family, especially, but she’d left her purse and keys in the bakery. And when she’d gone back downstairs, her mom and Duncan were there, and Duncan insisted on driving her home. Then Tara had texted Rowan, and the two of them had left work early to be here for her. But despite all the family support, Annie felt even worse than she had earlier in Seth’s apartment.
“I should be at work. I didn’t finish my shift.” Except, all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and never come out again. But that would mean she’d have to change the sheets that still smelled of her and Seth together, see the guitar pick he’d forgotten on the bedside table, and the spare T-shirt he’d left in her top dresser drawer.
“Your mom called Holly, and she was happy to come back in and help out for the rest of the day.” Duncan patted Annie’s shoulder. “As for your mother, although she’s as upset as anyone about this ruckus with Seth, she’s hankered to get behind that bakery counter again. She hasn’t taken to retirement easy.”
An understatement, but it was good Duncan had finally recognized at least one part of her mom’s unhappiness. Maybe more than one, given the kiss he’d planted on her mom’s mouth before shepherding Annie out of the bakery to the car like she was a dazed accident survivor.
She looked at Duncan and her sisters. “There’s also Hannah. She’s supposed to bring Rowan’s kids here for supper, but she can’t see me like this.” She scrubbed at her face.
“If it’s okay with you and Rowan, I’ll pick up Hannah and the other two and take them home with me instead.” Duncan’s voice was that of a man glad to have something practical to do that would take him away from the emotions surging through Annie’s living room. “We can watch a movie and order pizza, and I’ll bring them back after we eat.” He patted Annie’s shoulder a final time before he dug in his pocket for his car keys.
“Thanks.” Annie sagged against the sofa as Rowan nodded agreement. With a few more hours to pull herself together, she’d be fine. Or, if not fine, more in control than now.
“You haven’t eaten anything since this morning, honey.” Tara’s eyes were worried. “I’ll fix whatever you want.”
“I’m not hungry.” Annie clutched her stomach as the front door swung shut behind Duncan. Right now, she couldn’t imagine eating ever again.
“At least have another cup of tea.” Tara picked up Annie’s mug from the coffee table. “Or I can open some wine.”
“Getting drunk won’t solve anything.” Annie rocked forward and back. Her body shook, and she fumbled with the blanket on the end of the sofa and wrapped herself in it. “What am I going to do?”
“You’re going to call that Rick guy and, after you thank him, you tell him it would be great to meet him three days from now.” Rowan’s words were clipped. “And once he gets here, you’re going to open your mouth and sing like the kickass woman we know you are. Tara will help you get fixed up pretty, and you’re going to do yourself, your family, and Irish Falls proud.”
“Rowan’s right.” Tara flushed rosy pink. “Don’t be mad, but I texted Pete. He gave me his card when you did the recording because he wants me to make butter tarts and a cake for a surprise anniversary party he’s organizing for his wife in October. He said he’d come here to help if you wanted because he knows Rick.” Tara looked at the carpet and didn’t meet Annie’s gaze. “Since S
eth’s out of the picture, I thought you should keep your options open.”
“Tara got your music back from Seth, too.” Amusement tinged Rowan’s voice. “She knew better than to let me at him.”
“I may not say it often enough, but I love you guys.” Annie’s throat clogged.
“We love you too.” Tara and Rowan joined her in a huddle like they had when they were little—the Quinn sisters who shared an unbreakable bond.
Rowan plumped a cushion and eased it behind Annie’s back. “And you love Seth, don’t you?”
“I thought so, but after what he did, I . . .” Annie covered her face with her hands. Why had she blurted out that she loved him? Once she’d said the words, he’d said them back but it was as if he was compelled to. If she’d kept her mouth shut, she’d at least have some pride left.
Tara added a second cushion. “One thing at a time. Whether you love him or not can wait a few days. What matters now is you sing for that Rick and show him what you can do. Rowan and I will handle everything else, and Mom and Brendan and Holly will take care of the bakery. I bet Hannah can help out if we need her to.
Annie’s head jerked up. “Hannah. She sang with me on the recording. I have to tell her what happened. She likes Seth and—”
“You’re her mom. She’ll be on your side, always.” Rowan’s voice hitched.
“Especially if she thinks there might be a record deal out of it for her.” Tara grinned. “Hannah loves you more than anything. In her whole life, this thing with Seth won’t be anything more than a blip.”
Annie’s chest clenched. For her, Seth wasn’t a blip. He’d been life changing. Before he rolled into town, she hadn’t let herself think much about the past. She’d convinced herself she was happy the way she was. But by letting him into her life, he’d changed both it and her and, in forcing her to look back, she’d also looked forward and thought about the possibility of having a different future.
