The first week of training is all about repetition. We learn all the subjects in front of us and continue to take tests at the end of each lesson. The teachers begin to show some students preference. Nathan is one of them. They ignore me entirely. I'm glad for it.
Maria spends all of our free time teaching me to read and write. After the first two days, I manage to write the simplest of words, like my name. At the end of the week I can form sentences and comprehend half of what I read. I don't know if I am learning quickly, but Maria is encouraging. The thought of death if I fail is all the incentive I need.
Training in the exercise room continues to be brutal. We fight each other, lift weights, run, and exercise, only to then play the game. The game is always in the city and the rules are the same. The winner is usually rewarded with extra free time or the ability to sit out the worst of the training.
The dead-eyed woman, who no one ever seems to call by name, works us to the bone. I sense her approval of me; she is the only one who approves of me. I work twice as hard to be in the middle range, but it's like she sees through the lie. I don't know how to make her stop looking. Ace and Benny are usually there, though they focus on the people in red. Ace acts like we don't exist. We don't matter to him. We're not part of his job.
At the end of the week, the twelve of us in my class are called to the blue level after classes. I have learned that it's where the teachers, Honey, Benny, and Willem live. We line up in a row in the hall. Two guards stand with us. I don't understand the purpose of our visit. No one explains it to us. Maria and I share worried looks. We don't think we did anything wrong, but every new thing at the facility feels like trouble. It's impossible to think otherwise.
The door in front of us finally opens and Willem appears on the other side. He's wearing a tan jacket, and his glasses are perched on his nose precariously. His head is covered in sweat, though the temperature is kept at a perfectly moderated 68 degrees. He points at the first girl in line and gestures her into the room. She gulps and looks down the line nervously. She does not like the fact that she is first and has to walk into the unknown. She moves quickly, however. We have learned to fear the shock sticks.
The door closes behind her and silence surrounds us again. We wait for twenty minutes. The door opens and the girl walks outside. She gives us a thumbs up to let us know that the visit is not deadly and then hurries to the end of the hall. I know she's going to the dormitory. It's where most people spend their time outside of lessons and practice. It's the only place free of guards.
The next boy in line steps inside the room. The door opens after thirty minutes. The boy looks like he's going to be sick. I figure Willem is doing a great deal of scary talking. It'll take more than words to frighten me.
I'm next. I step forward before Willem can gesture me inside and he moves out of my way quickly. The room on the other side of the door is cozy. It's full of dark woods and fuzzy carpets. It's nothing like the metal and steel of the rest of the building. I figure it to be a trick of some kind. The warmth is meant to throw me off. A long sofa and a large chair are at the front of the room. A narrow door keeps the rest of the apartment locked away. I sense he does most of his living behind the door. This room is primarily for interviews.
"Sit," Willem says.
My eyes are still on the door to the apartment. There's a shadow. Someone is there. Is it Honey? Is she eavesdropping on the conversation? Does she not want me to know she's there? The anger and hate in her eyes has not faded at all over the week. She hates me almost as much as Benny does, though Benny is more willing to use his shock stick on me and spread rumors of my rebelliousness. Honey hates me at a distance. Everyone except for Maria, Nathan, Josh and Sam have started avoiding me. I don't mind. They're all the friends I need.
I sit obediently. Willem may not have a shock stick, but I fear him.
"We've found it necessary to do weekly psychological evaluations," Willem tells me. "The stress of your lessons and the sudden change in your living patterns can be a shock. I want to make sure you are adapting properly."
I can't forget his kindness in moving me to the green level, but I don't trust him. "I'm fine," I say quietly.
"You'll have to pardon me for not taking you at your word," Willem says politely. "Everyone says the exact same thing at first."
I think that's what I hate most about him. He's excruciatingly urbane. He's in charge of our lives, decides if we live or die, and he's so damn polite about it. I want to hit him, just to see him lose that politeness. He sniffs loudly and I hear snot moving around. I fight a look of disgust. He'll see it. He's staring right at me. My eyes move to the door again. It's to my right. The shadow is still there.
"Do you know what hypnosis is?" Willem asks.
"It's where you put a person into a relaxed state like sleep," I say. "But they can still talk and hear you."
"Right," he agrees, looking surprised. "Where did you learn that?"
"I've been reading on my handheld," I say. "They have a lot of medical textbooks in the database."
Reading the medical books reminds me of Leslie. It makes me feel like I haven't lost her. It's easy to pretend she's still alive with words that could easily be spoken by her in front of me.
"Of course," he says. He pauses thoughtfully. "I am going to hypnotize you now."
"What?" I ask, my eyes returning to his face in sudden fear. How can I hide from them when my willpower is gone? I have no idea what I will say while under his control. I will prove to him that I am not weak.
Willem sees my rebellion in my face. He does not appreciate it. "You have no say in the matter."
He's right. It's get hypnotized or get turned over to the guards. They have invested time in my retraining and probably don't want to waste that investment, but the uncertainty lingers. Will they kill me on sight or simply beat me? My rib has only just stopped hurting.
I look up at him as calmly as I can. I want to scream and fight. My impulses push at me to do something stupid. Devlin's training and Max's fate keep me in my seat.
"Fine," I say coldly.
Willem holds up a silver chain. It has a pendant on the end. It's circular and has a coiled rope surrounding a large eagle holding a staff. I have seen the symbol before. It is the symbol of the city.
"Follow the chain with your eyes, not your head. Keep your head stationary," he tells me.
I do as he says, feeling like the entire thing is stupid. He can't hypnotize me. I won't let him.
"I'm going to count back from ten. When I reach one, you will enter a deeply relaxed state. All of your worries and fears will drop away. You will still be able to hear me and respond but your mind will be completely at ease."
I won't let him hypnotize me. I won't.
"Ten...nine...eight..."
When he reaches one, my eyes slide shut.
"Totally remarkable," Willem is saying. "It's like she's completely hypnotized and not at the same time. She can resist my questions and lie even while totally relaxed."
"You said her test was the strangest one you've ever seen."
Another voice. A man. Ace.
"Yes," Willem agrees. "I don't know what to do with her. She will not survive if she keeps this up, but she's so interesting..."
His voice holds regret. He will be sad to lose me. It has everything to do with scientific curiosity.
"Yes," Ace agrees.
"What do we do?" Willem asks.
"We wait and see," Ace decides. "It's the smart thing to do, particularly with her rebel ties. Everyone is watching her carefully."
Their voices float away. I open my eyes to the sound of Willem counting. The conversation I overheard slips away from me. I remember Ace being there, but his words are lost to me. I look at Willem in confusion. His expression is stoic and only mildly curious.
"Very well," he says. "You may go."
I feel dazed. I don't know what has happened or how much time has passed. Questions are beyond me. I stand automaticall
y and leave the room. Maria is next. I leave her and Nathan in the hall and go to my bunk. I lay down on my stomach and stare at the floor.
Controllers (Book 1) Page 13
