“I didn’t cook you breakfast to brag about my skills in the kitchen, Jamie. I wanted to say sorry. To genuinely tell you how sorry I am for what happened and for what I said. I was a jerk and I never should have behaved like that.”
She shook her head. “You don’t need to apologize. I should never have insisted we tell Logan, not so soon. It was stupid and I have no idea what I was thinking.”
Brett put down his fork and leaned toward her, both arms on the table. “If we hadn’t told him we would have been lying, and telling him later would have been worse. He would have felt betrayed, so you were right. I just wish it had happened differently, and if I could do anything to change that, I would.”
“So what are you trying to tell me?” she asked, picking at small bits of egg as she glanced up at him.
“What I’m trying to say is that no matter how badly it went down yesterday, telling Logan was the right thing. He’s been with me, with us all, through thick and thin, and I don’t want to lose him. The way I reacted was unacceptable, but everything he said just kind of fueled what I’d been worried about all along.”
Jamie was looking at her food, eating little mouthfuls like she wasn’t really hungry, but he waited her out, knowing she’d look up eventually. What he hadn’t said was that he didn’t want to lose her, either, but right now he wasn’t even sure she was his to lose.
He picked up a piece of bacon between his fingers and crunched on it, never taking his eyes from her, and when she looked up he was ready. Or at least he was ready for the connection. What he wasn’t ready for was the bright blue of her irises, the way they looked as if they were bathed in water from the tears glistening in them, the sight of her bottom lip tucked under her teeth, like she was having to bite on it to stop from crying—it was almost enough to break his heart.
“Why did you come back last night, Brett? Was it just to tell me that, or something more?”
Brett put the piece of bacon down that he’d been holding and wiped his fingers on his napkin. This was his moment, this was the chance he’d been waiting for, and he wasn’t going to blow it.
“I came back because I was a coward yesterday, and that’s not the man I am.”
“I know you’re no coward,” she told him, a smile curving her lips and taking the sadness from her face. “You’re one of the bravest people I know, and the fact that you didn’t punch Logan back, and that you walked away from me? Neither of those things makes you a coward, it just makes you a person who doesn’t want to do the wrong thing by the people you care about.”
“I deserved the bloody nose, it’s not that, but walking away from you?” He shook his head. “That was the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life, and I need you to know that I will never walk away from you like that ever again. I was stupid to let fear stop me from doing the one thing in my life that I’ve never been so sure about. How I feel about you.”
Brett’s voice was husky, a deeper tone than it usually was. He pushed his chair out and moved around to Jamie, taking her hands in his and dropping to his knees beside her instead of towering over her.
“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Jamie,” he told her, staring into her eyes. “What we did, what we’re doing, it might not have been planned, but I’m going to fight for you if I have to. I don’t care who says no and stands in our way, if you want me here, then I won’t ever leave you. And that’s a promise I will never break.”
Jamie had tears falling down her cheeks now in a slow, steady stream. “I only want you here if you want to be here,” she whispered. “I need to know how you feel about me.”
She reached out and touched just under his eye, where he knew he was sporting a nasty black bruise. Her fingers were feather-light, tracing across his skin.
“I’ve never wanted anything so bad in all my life,” he admitted. “Or anyone.”
“I can’t lose another man I love, Brett. I can’t...” The words were low, almost a whisper.
“I’ll promise in front of every single person we know if I have to, to make you believe me, but I will never, ever let you down Jamie. I’m here for you, for as long as you’ll have me. You’re my family, too, not just the guys.”
Her fingers traced beneath his bruise again before reaching around to his ear, then to the back of his head. She pulled him toward her and leaned close, her face only inches from his.
“I think I love you, Brett,” she whispered, tilting her mouth toward him, lips parted.
He didn’t hesitate. Brett closed his mouth over hers, lips crushed to Jamie’s and moving just enough, drinking in the taste of her, the warmth of having her body and mouth pressed to his.
He only pulled back because he had to, because he needed to tell her how he felt, too.
“I don’t think I love you, Jamie,” he whispered, mouth hovering so close to hers as he spoke that her plump lips just touched his. “I know so.”
Jamie held on to the back of Brett’s head, drawing him back to her again, her mouth taking his captive. He wasn’t going to stop her, but he did want to make things more comfortable.
He dragged her hand from his hair, lips barely leaving hers, and slowly moved them down to the carpet, tugging her down on top of him.
“Sorry about breakfast,” she whispered, as she put her hands on either side of his head to brace herself.
“Screw breakfast,” he muttered as he flipped her on to her back, so he was braced above her. “I’ll take you over food any day.”
“Oh, yeah?” Her fingers grabbed hold of a fistful of his hair.
“Yeah.”
Brett tried to growl but she just laughed at him and tugged him lower.
“Shut up and kiss me,” she said.
“Yes, ma’am.”
She laughed as he kissed the hollow of her neck, just above her collarbone, holding down her arms so she was powerless to move. His lips slowly moved up her neck, before settling on her mouth. His grip on her loosened as she submitted to his kiss, moaning as his tongue teased hers, lips soft one moment then rough.
Jamie pushed up his shirt, hands sliding against his bare skin, moving across his scars and up to his shoulders, then down again.
“That’s a dangerous game you’re playing,” he muttered against her mouth.
“I know,” she whispered back as she ran her hands up his stomach this time, taking her time so she could feel his muscles, exploring every inch of him.
“Do you want me to strip you naked here on the floor?”
Hmm. She did like the sound of that... “Is that a take-it-or-leave-it question?”
“No,” he said, nose against hers as he stared into her eyes. “Multichoice.”
She waited, his breath hot against her skin.
“The other option is that I pick you up and drag you to your bedroom. So I can have my wicked way with you there,” he said, his voice deep and husky.
There was no mistaking what he wanted from her, and she wanted it every bit as bad.
“I’ll take option two,” she said, liking her newfound confidence, that she could tell him what she wanted without being too shy. “It just so happens that I have nothing else to do today, so my schedule’s clear.”
“So I’m just some toy to pass the time with?” he asked, holding her down by the wrists again and kissing her, before hauling her up and scooping her up into his arms.
Jamie slung her arms around his neck, loving that he was strong enough to just pick her up and carry her, like he was her protector. She knew she could take care of herself, but knowing she had a man in her life who’d stand by her side no matter what was something she loved.
“No, I’m saying you’re my lover, and I want you to...” She didn’t finish the sentence, the heat in his gaze making the words stall in her throat.
“Lover, huh?”
“Unless you don’t w
ant to be?” she asked, catching her bottom lip beneath her teeth.
“Oh, I want to be,” he said, forcing her lips to his in a kiss that left her breathless. “Just don’t expect me to let you out of your room anytime soon.”
Jamie pressed her face into his chest as he carried her down the hall and kicked the bedroom door shut behind them.
Last night she’d been miserable, and this morning she was so happy she couldn’t stop smiling.
Brett put her carefully on the bed and stared down at her. “I love you, Jamie,” he said, all hint of playfulness gone, his tone serious. “I’m in love with you.”
“I’m in love with you, too,” she said back, not hesitating, loving that she was hearing the words straight from his mouth as he looked into her eyes, rather than secondhand, as he had admitted them to Logan.
Brett lowered himself over her and kissed her again, softer this time, more gently.
It was time for her to let go of the past and make a new future with this gorgeous, kind man, and there was no part of her that wasn’t sure. She wanted to be with Brett, and no one was going to take that from her. Not ever.
* * *
Sunlight was pouring into the room, and Jamie was fighting to keep her eyes open.
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been in bed at this time in the afternoon before,” she mused.
Brett laughed, which sounded like a weird kind of rumbling from where she had her head pressed to his chest. She was curled up beside him, the sheet half-covering them, as she basked in the way he was stroking his fingers across her skin. Jamie felt like a well-petted cat, so content she could have purred, loving that he couldn’t seem to take his hands off her.
“It feels good, doesn’t it?”
“What?” she murmured. “You touching me like this? Because you can keep doing it until it’s dark out, or forever, for that matter.”
Brett moved his hand to stroke her hair. “Just being together. Not fighting it anymore.”
“You know that Sam wouldn’t have been angry with us,” she said, wishing she didn’t have to break the intimate moment between them, but needing to say what was on her mind. Jamie pushed up and stared down at Brett. “It doesn’t mean I didn’t love him with all my heart, but I think we met all those years ago for a reason, Brett. Because I met two men I could have fallen for, two men I might not have been able to decide between if I’d known that you’d come looking for me, and it’s our time now. It’s never been right before, but it is now.”
Brett had an expression on his face that she couldn’t read, but she could at least tell that he wasn’t angry.
“I’m not scared of facing Sam one day,” Brett told her, his lips kicking into a half smile. “He knows I would have traded places with him if I could have the day that bomb went off, and by the time I do see him, he’ll be able to tell that I loved you just as much as he did.”
Jamie dropped a slow, casual kiss to Brett’s lips. “So are we just going to live in bliss for a while and never leave the house, take baby steps?”
Brett’s face turned more somber and he sat up and propped himself against the pillows. “I know it didn’t go well the first time, but I think we need to try to talk to Logan again.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “You do?” The thought terrified her, especially how things had turned out, what she’d gone through thinking that Brett had left her.
He ran his fingers through her hair and tucked a few wisps behind her ear, his eyes never leaving hers. “Nothing is going to scare me off or change the way I feel about you Jamie, but Logan is important to both of us, and I want to try to make amends. Make him see that this is real, that this isn’t something that’s going to go away just because it makes him uncomfortable. I want to explain to him why everything he said is flawed, why this is right.”
She nodded, sighing as his hand cupped her cheek and she relaxed into it. “Okay. I just don’t want to burst this perfect little bubble we’re floating in right now. I want to stay like this forever.”
“We won’t ruin this, not this time,” he said. “I promise.”
She trusted him, but she also knew how Logan’s disapproval could affect them both if it went bad again. “So if he punches you again or tries to make us feel disgusting for what we’ve done?”
Brett leaned forward to drop a kiss to her forehead. “Then we tell him that his friendship means a lot to us, that he’s family, but that we’re in love and we need him to respect that. We’re not going to change who we are or how we feel for anyone.”
Jamie found herself nodding. “And when exactly are you proposing we do this?” she asked.
“Tomorrow.”
“And everyone else in our lives?” she asked.
“We can take telling the rest of the world a little slower, I think,” he said, pulling her closer so he could put his arms around her. “Logan can be our first step, and then we’ll just take it one day at a time. Do what feels right, when it feels right.”
Jamie shut her eyes and relaxed against Brett’s bare chest, happy that it was warm enough that they could just lie naked, with only the light sheet covering them.
“You have a plan for how we convince him to see us again?”
He tightened his hold on her. “You can organize to meet him, say you want to talk with him, take the dogs to the river or something,” Brett told her. “No matter how angry he is with me, he’ll never say no to seeing you.”
“You sure about that?” she mumbled against his chest.
“I’m sure,” he said. “When I turn up, too, he’ll have no choice other than to see me, to hear what I have to say.”
“If that’s how you want to do it, then that’s how we’ll do it.”
“Good,” Brett said, hands stroking her back and disappearing beneath the sheets, against her skin. “Because now that that’s sorted, I want to forget about everything else for the rest of the day and just think about you.”
“Oh, really?” She laughed, wriggling as he held her, teased her.
“Yes, really,” he said, capturing her mouth in a kiss that made her turn into liquid against him. “And that’s only the start of it.”
Chapter 14
Jamie had a flutter in her stomach that wasn’t doing anything to help her nerves. She opened the back door of her car and signaled for Bear to jump out, just like Brett had instructed her to do with him, and he obediently hopped out and waited beside her.
“Don’t overthink this.”
She stared at Brett over the top of the car, where he was leaning. “I’m starting to think this wasn’t such a good idea, that’s what I’m thinking. Why didn’t we just tell him that you would be coming?”
Brett sighed and walked around the car to her, and pulled her into his arms. “Because he would have said no, and he would have been angry before he even arrived.”
She held on tight to him before stepping out of his embrace and clipping on Bear’s leash. “Come on then, let’s go and get this over with.”
“You’ll be fine. Just be yourself, and I’ll deal with Logan if things don’t go as planned.”
Jamie shut her eyes, took a deep breath, then walked off through the park and to the river where she’d organized to meet Logan. For all her talk originally about wanting to be honest, about wanting Logan to know, she wasn’t feeling so confident anymore. She would do anything to protect her relationship with Brett, and this felt like doing the exact opposite of what she should be doing.
“Once bitten, twice shy,” she muttered to herself.
She looked across at Bear, wondering why he’d stopped walking, why he had his head cocked to one side, watching her. Jamie dropped to her haunches to give him a cuddle.
“I’m sorry, boy. I keep forgetting that you’re always trying to figure out what I’m saying.” She unclipped his leash, knowing it was about time she t
rusted him. “Let’s go find your friend, huh? Off you go,” she instructed, flinging her arm out in the signal Brett had taught her.
Bear gave her a look, like he was making sure he’d understood her properly, before trotting off ahead. She might be feeling more confident as a dog owner, but her knees were positively knocking over the idea of seeing Logan.
“Jamie!”
She looked up and saw him, standing by the river, hand held up in the air. Bear paused, looked back at her, clearly asking if he was allowed to run over to the other dog.
“Go see,” she told him, walking faster herself and watching as he bounded off to say hello.
It was now or never.
“Hey, Logan,” she called out when she was near.
“Hey,” he replied, closing the distance between them and kissing her on the cheek.
It didn’t feel anywhere near as awkward as she’d been expecting, seeing him after what had happened, but she knew everything would change when Brett appeared.
They both watched the dogs sniffing and playing, happily getting to know one another again.
“Do you think they remember each other?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Logan said, jamming his hands into his pockets. “They’ve spent months at a time in the same place, and I don’t think they forget. They probably have better memories that we do.”
“Want to take them for a wander?”
Logan nodded and gave the dogs a whistle. “Jamie, about what happened...”
“Logan, I don’t want you to apologize. There was nothing about the other day that went as planned.” Jamie touched her hand to his shoulder, squeezing slightly. “I’m sorry I put you in that position. It was wrong and we should have thought it through better instead of just springing the news on you.”
He stopped and stared at her, like he wasn’t sure what to say.
“You’re going to hate me for saying this, but Brett? He deserved a black eye. I’m only sorry about the way I spoke to you.”
She sighed, shaking her head. “But that’s it, Logan. Brett didn’t deserve it. I’m as much to blame as he is for what’s happened between us. You can’t not attribute some of your anger toward me.”
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