by Jamie Knight
I sat holding my breath, hoping that my suggestion would encourage her to get up. I desperately needed to shift my body away from her.
“Okay. What are you in the mood for?” she asked with her eyes towards the TV. Then, she sprung up from the couch. I sighed, relieved.
“You know, why don't you pick something,” I said after her. “With your taste in classics, I’m sure I'll like whatever you pick.”
She did a little happy dance, jumping and clapping gleefully.
“I'm so glad that you said that,” she cheered, racing to the entertainment center where the TV sat. She flipped through the movies lined up neatly, no doubt by James’s precise hand. She hunted like she was looking for something in particular.
“It really doesn't matter what you— ” I started to offer.
“—Here it is!” she screeched, opening the case of a Blu-Ray movie. “Sleepless in Seattle. You seriously can never go wrong with a classic.”
She put in the movie and came back to sit down on the couch. She leaned her body against mine. I could feel her leg pressed against my thigh, warm and soft, the slippery sheer dress rubbing against my rough khaki pants. I closed my eyes as I imagined what it would feel like to have her leg pressed against mine without any clothes to separate us. Just the two of us, sitting next to each other, our bodies connected.
But, then, I thought about what that would mean. If our skin was touching, that meant that she would have a full view of my skin, scars and all. The way that my skin was warped, lines like those on a monster brought back from the dead, would be sure to make her recoil in disgust or, even worse, in fear.
She was so beautiful, loving, and gentle. Sharp as a whip. I wasn't sure how I might feel if she were to react in a way that made her not want to be around me. I was struggling to contain myself when near her, but I would hate to be kept apart from her—or to have her avoid me. I was sure that if she saw my unsightly scars, she would try to get as far away from me as humanly possible.
She surely wouldn't sit next to me, so close, rubbing up against my scars like she was at that very moment.
I shuddered, thinking about her eyes widening in horror as she looked over the mess that was my skin, looking melted and burned as the result of the accident and doctors’ efforts to repair the damage. I imagined her covering her mouth, running away in disgust as she attempted to find the bathroom before she upchucked the contents of her stomach.
The shudder coursed through my body so hard that it made me flinch, making me throw the bowl of popcorn onto the floor in front of me. At that exact moment, Natalia moved to grab more popcorn from the bowl that had been sitting in my lap.
My boner stood unshielded.
Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. I didn't have a chance to move fast enough before her hand landed on my lap, her hand gripping my rock hard dick.
I froze.
It took her a moment to realize exactly what her hand was touching. Even laying there in the dark, I could see the look of confusion register on her face. She slowly realized that it wasn't popcorn that was within her grasp as she had anticipated, but something else. When she couldn't quite figure out what she was holding onto, she looked over. Her eyes bulged out of her head as it began to sink in that she had wrapped her hand around my dick. And it was hard.
“Holy shit,” she mumbled. Her cheeks turned a bright, crimson red and she looked really embarrassed. It was like she was frozen. And so was I. I didn't know what to think, do, or say. So, I just sat there, dumbly waiting to see how the moment would play out.
Chapter 19
Bradley
After a few more moments, Natalia shook her head, and then casually returned her hand back to her own lap. She turned, staring at the TV screen silently. The air was thick between us.
We sat in complete silence, staring at the TV screen. The movie played in front of us, but I was almost certain that we didn’t pay attention. I didn't dare move. I hardly breathed. Staring, I just sat there, wondering what she might have been thinking.
She had felt my dick. While it was hard. That meant she knew I was excited. I wondered how she felt about that. Did she think that I was some sort of sick weirdo? I couldn't be sure. She just sat there, like I did, staring off into the distance.
I wanted to say something, find a way to explain myself. But, how could I? Every time I got ready to turn and say something, I quickly dismissed it. There was really nothing that I could say. I just sat and waited to see what happened.
We still hadn't talked about the kiss from the other day. I hadn't quite figured that out, in my head. I hadn’t figured out what it was really about. She did talk about how frustrated she was with the counter guy. Maybe that's all that it was.
Or maybe it was more than that. What I did know for certain was that the kiss had turned me on more than I was comfortable with. And the kiss had made my mind start craving her, in ways that I hadn't expected.
Now this.
I wondered what would happen if I wrapped my arm around her and just rested it there. Maybe something romantic would come of it. But, then, that would make it seem like the erection was part of some elaborate scheme that I had been putting together. Even though I was completely turned on by her, I didn't want her to feel like I was trying to make something happen between us. Because, actually, the opposite was true.
I was trying hard to dismiss the feelings for her that I was having. I had so much respect for her father and, by extension her. And the more time that I spent with her, the more respect and understanding grew inside me.
But also, the more time that we spent together, the more I seemed to develop real feelings for her, too.
My thoughts raced all over the map. It was almost like I was watching things happening around me, but I wasn't quite participating anymore.
Two hours had come and gone and the movie credits were rolling again before I snapped out of it.
“Another movie?” asked Natalia softly, still staring off into the distance at the TV.
She sounded uncertain, like she was still trying to put things together herself. But, I thought that it was a good sign that she was asking about watching another movie. Maybe it was just her, being nice. Or maybe it was that she was just as curious to see what would happen between us as I was becoming.
Curious or not, too much had happened that I didn't feel comfortable with. James had trusted me enough to leave me in his house with his daughter. And I didn't want to do anything to betray that trust. I decided that it would be best for me to head off to bed.
“I don't think that I could stay awake for another movie,” I said, yawning. “I'm tired and I have a lot that I need to take care of in the morning. Your father was kind enough to let me stay here in the house so that I could have a chance to get myself together without having to worry about being alone, on the street. It's time for me to get going, put my best foot forward and get things done. Good night, Natalia.”
I stood up and walked down the hallway toward the bathroom. I closed the door and stood staring at myself in the mirror.
What was happening to me? I wondered to myself. I had so much respect for women in general and especially, Natalia. I respected her a lot. She might have been young, and we might have just met, but there was so much about her that made me appreciate her as a person, as a woman. And yet, there I was, having unsavory thoughts about her.
I felt a deep sense of disappointment in myself. But I couldn’t seem to help wanting to defile her, to do degrading things to her.
I wanted to see her down on her knees for me, so I could shove my cock all the way into her mouth. And then bend over on all fours, so I could use her tight, wet pussy to my cock’s delight. If I had my way, I’d cum inside her and then let it shoot all over her cute body she kept insisting on showing off to me. I knew exactly what she wanted, and I’d give it to her. And while I did it, I’d mark her and claim her as my own.
I splashed water on my face, hoping that maybe it wo
uld wash away what was passing through my mind, even though I knew that it didn't work that way.
I told myself that, maybe after a night's sleep, I would wake up and things would be different. No, not maybe. I was determined that they would be different.
My resolve seemed to strengthen with each step that I took toward my bedroom. As I was passing Natalia's door, I paused. I heard a sound coming from her cracked door. It sounded like she was crying or hurt. I couldn't be sure, but I wanted to make sure that she was okay before I went to bed, just in case.
I inched closer to her door and the sound grew louder. I heard moaning and her breathing was heavy. I peeked in, my hand on the door, ready to go in and help her.
Then, I saw her. Even though it was mostly dark, I could still make out her figure lying on the bed.
She had her hands snaking down below her tight waist. She was playing with her pussy. Her hand was moving, around and around, while her hips gyrated, meeting the movement of her hand. She moaned and panted softly.
I thought that my heart would beat out of my chest as I stood there watching her. My palms grew sweaty. I swallowed hard, hoping that she wouldn't notice that I was standing there, my eyes locked on her as she pleased herself with her hands. She moved faster and faster, her moans growing louder and louder.
And then it happened.
“Bradley,” she moaned, her voice raspy and helpless-sounding.
My heart all but stopped. I felt caught. Exposed, like I had been found doing something that I had no business doing. I took a deep breath and prepared to show myself fully, to open her door apologetically, to explain that I thought that she had been in trouble, or that something was wrong and I wanted to make sure that everything was okay.
But, something made me stop. I took a closer look inside of her room and noticed that her eyes were still closed.
What did that mean?
It took me a moment to realize that she wasn't looking at me, only thinking about me. The realization came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. The whole time that I was thinking that I was the only one having wrong thoughts about her, she was thinking the same thoughts, or at least similar ones, about me—thoughts that were enough for her to groan my name, while having an orgasm, while she was playing with her pussy.
Wow.
It was a lot to process right then. I backed away from her door slowly, trying to move as quietly as possible so that she wouldn't hear me.
I had to stop myself from running away from the door and away from this new reality, one that I wasn't quite sure how I would escape, or if I even wanted to.
Chapter 20
Natalia
I woke up early the next morning, excited for the prospect of spending another day with Bradley. I was growing more attracted to him with each passing day. And he seemed to enjoy my company, too. If only I knew for certain how he really felt.
I got up and made some eggs and toast for two. I wasn't sure when he was going to wake up, but I didn't want to knock on the door and bother him if he was resting well. Even though he was very charming and quick-witted in a way that made me feel like he was not so old, I knew that he had been through a lot. The fact that he walked with a cane and limped spoke volumes.
I caught him sitting rubbing his knee and wincing last night, but I wasn't sure if he noticed me looking. There was so much about him that was so strong, but his injuries made me see just how human he really was.
I put his plate in the microwave instead and figured that I would just heat it up whenever he woke up. An hour went by, and still no Bradley. After two hours, I started to wonder if something was wrong.
Did I scare him off? Had he packed up in the middle of the night and high-tailed it out of here? Or was he hiding in his room, waiting to see if I would leave so that he wouldn't have to see me?
I went back and forth what had happened the night before.
I definitely had reached over and grabbed a handful of his manhood while watching the movie last night. Neither one of us said anything afterward. I was completely mortified. I couldn't believe that I had been so careless so as to not to look where I was grabbing.
And the fact that it had been hard had caught me off guard.
Was he turned on, or was it just some reaction his body was having? I didn't know a lot about penises since I didn't have one, and had never seen one, but I thought that I remembered reading somewhere that penises can be hard for reasons other than being turned on.
It was something that I definitely wasn't going to ask Bradley to clarify for me. As far as I was concerned, it would be just like the kiss: something that happened between us, but that neither one of us touches with a ten foot pole in terms of figuring out what it means.
But, that didn't stop me from wanting to see him, to spend time with him. But, it looked like I had messed that up being all grabby hands.
I cursed myself silently.
I had to get to the bottom of things. And fast.
I tried making as much noise as possible. I was banging pots and pans loud enough for the sound to travel down the hallway. I put on loud music on the surround sound, knowing that with the speakers scattered all around the house that there would be no way that he couldn't hear it, even if he was sleeping.
I felt kind of bad at the idea of waking him, but my curiosity was getting the better of me.
Just before I had decided to march up to his bedroom door and knock so that I could have my answer once and for all, he walked into the kitchen wearing a tailored summer-weight suit.
Yowza.
It was navy blue and light green and gave him a professional look yet also made him seem very casual and cool. The suit was cut perfectly—it accented his broad chest, trim waist and impressive height. He looked like a model. I smiled so hard that my cheeks hurt. I was relieved to finally see him standing before me, and excited for what the day might bring.
“What's the occasion?” I said, trying to sound as casual as I could myself. I mentally started going through my closet, trying to think of what I could throw on, in case he had planned on us going out somewhere. I eagerly wanted to hear where he planned to go. But, honestly, it wouldn't matter where. As long as we got to spend the day together, we could go for a walk through the sewers.
“Oh, uh, I have a... date,” he said, looking away nervously. He chuckled and rubbed his neck.
I stood there in shock, staring at him, my eyes unblinking. It was almost like I couldn't find my tongue for a few minutes. I hadn't expected those words, not one bit. I thought that, for sure, especially after last night, that he would want to go out or something. I was crushed. But I struggled to stay calm, and look unbothered.
“Oh, that's awesome,” I said in a fake cheerful voice. “I hope you guys have fun.”
I turned, to try busying myself with a pile of papers on the kitchen counter.
“Thanks,” said Bradley, shifting from one foot to the other. He had a look on his face like he was worried.
I slipped a look in his direction and wondered if he was hesitating because of the look on my face, or if it was something else. I felt completely betrayed. And I was sure that he sensed it. He shook his head like he changed his mind about saying something, quickly said goodbye, and walked out the door, letting it slam hard behind him.
Chapter 21
Natalie
I stood there for a minute, letting the quiet of the house envelop me. When I was sure that he was gone, I burst into tears. It was like a dam was breaking because, once I started, I couldn't stop. I cried loud, sobbing tears. I ran to my room, my vision blurry while I ran, and threw myself on the bed. The sobs ripped through my body, shaking me, and the bed right along with it.
I felt so sad. Just when I thought that things were okay, that maybe there was a chance of something happening between us, this steps in the way. And blindsides me. I couldn't believe this was happening.
I grabbed my phone from the edge of my bed and texted Grace.
Me: I
t's over. Bradley went on a date. The plan failed and now there's nothing that I can do but sit here and cry.
Typing the words in my phone made me feel that sense of helplessness all over again, starting another avalanche of tears.
The tears definitely came because I was sad, but also because I was angry. It actually made me mad, being so sad. I was angry for expecting that anything could have happened between us in the first place. Why would someone his age, someone who was close friends with my dad, even want me in that way? The more questions that raced through my mind, the more tears seemed to flow.
My phone notification went off.
Grace: I'm so sorry, Natalia. That really sucks.
Me: I know. And now, I don't know what to do.
I sat with my phone in my hand, staring at the screen, waiting for a response. The screen went black and I could see my reflection. My eyes were beet red and my face was wet. I looked terrible. But, it didn't matter in that moment. The only thing that mattered to me was that I had somehow let the chance to get Bradley's attention slip right through my fingers.
I felt like I had driven him into the arms of another woman. Maybe he had seen through my childish antics at trying to seduce him and decided to do what grown ups do. I had so many questions that I felt would be left unanswered now that he had shifted his romantic attention somewhere else. Surely, he would have no interest in seeing where something could spark between us.
The phone dinged again. I pulled it closer to my face, eager to read her response.
Grace: Well, it seems the only thing left to do now is to nurse your wounds over Haagen- Daaz and good movies.
I burst into tears again, tears I didn't even know that I had left inside of my body after all of the tears that I had already cried. I texted her back, telling her thanks for the advice, and threw my phone back across the bed. I la
