by Madison Faye
I blushed, biting my lip before Cade turned me around to kiss me slowly.
“We meant every word we said,” he whispered lowly. “We weren’t looking for you, because we didn’t know you existed. But now that we found you...” He shook his head, his eyes burning fiercely into mine. “Now that we’ve found you, there’s no way we can let you go.”
I kissed him again, melting into the two of them as their arms circled me.
“I wasn’t looking for you,” I whispered back. “And I know it’s completely insane, but I—” I looked down, taking a deep, shaking breath.
Was I ready to admit this? To them? To myself?
“I don’t want to let you go either,” I whispered, my eyes closed. “Either of you. And I don’t know what that means, and I don’t know how people would look at us, and I don’t know where we go from here, but—”
“Shhh,” Caspian’s lips at my ear soothed me, calming me. “We’ll figure that part out, I promise. And fuck what other people think, right? Trust us, that’s a lesson we were born into.”
“Go show your face, baby,” Cade said. “And then meet us later.”
I shivered at the thought, my body already yearning for more of them.
I nodded. “Okay. Later?”
“Absolutely,” Cade murmured, kissing me. I turned again to kiss Caspian too, before pulling away from them.
“I really do have to go,” I whispered.
“Go,” Caspian grinned. “But you know that we’re coming for you later.”
I grinned. “You promise?”
“With everything we have.”
I kissed them both once more before I turned and dashed out the door, back to the ball.
8
Ilana
I felt like I was floating as I practically skipped down the halls of the castle. I felt like a total dork, like I was in some sort of cartoon movie with little hearts bubbling around me, or like I was about to burst into song with woodland creatures. It was eye-rollingly ridiculous, but I didn’t care. I was happier than I’d ever been.
My mind was still spinning about what had just happened, and my body was still buzzing as I made my way back to the ball. Okay, I’d make an appearance, I’d smile and make the rounds, show people that I hadn’t disappeared, and then I’d—
“Oh! Ilana!”
I almost jumped out of my skin as the guest bathroom door swung open and my sister Imogen stumbled out.
“Im!”
Her hair was a total mess, her cheeks were bright red, and her dress wasn’t even tied all the way up the front. I saw her doing the exact same thing to me, her eyes going to my hair that was no longer up, and to what I was almost sure were bruises on my neck — bruises from two men’s lips.
“Oh my God!” she hissed, her eyes going wide. “What did you just—”
“Me?”
I raised a sharp brow at her and she blushed right back.
“You’re missing a tie on the top of that gown, sis.”
She flushed dark crimson as she looked down, hastily tying the last title bow on her dress.
“And who might you have been with?”
“No one,” she spit quickly.
I smirked, crossing my arms over my chest and totally playing the big sister card. Yeah, I’d just been fooling around, but I was dying to know what she’d just done. And with whom.
“You just half took your dress off and decided to mess up your hairstyle and makeup, huh?”
“Well looks who’s talking!”
I did my best to hide the grin, but it broke free. So did hers.
“Who?” I eagerly pressed grabbing her hands and grinning mischievously.
Imogen shook her head.
“Oh c’mon!”
“You first,” she whispered.
I swallowed the heat from my face “I can’t,” I whispered. I couldn’t I mean how could I tell my own sister that I’d just been having the best sex of my life with two men? Twins no less!
She sighed. “This is silly, we should just say it.”
I nodded, biting my lip. “Totally. Okay, no judging?”
“Of course not!”
I’m the worst sister ever.
I wasn’t going to tell her, but I was dying know who she’d been with. I justified it as being protective of my little sister, but I knew it was terrible to set her up like this.
“Count of three?”
She took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay, one, two, three!”
“Prince Magnus.”
My jaw dropped. “Imogen!”
“Did you seriously not say who!?” she spat at me, her eyes wide. “Ilana! That is so fucking not fair!”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry!” I cringed.
Mine is worse, trust me.
“Look, mine is worse, seriously.”
“Worse than hooking up with Prince Magnus?”
I eyed her, the big sister mantle coming on strong. “Imogen, did you let him—”
“No,” she said quietly.
I started to exhale when she continued.
“He said he wants to marry me.”
“Seriously?”
“I know, what a line right?”
I frowned, thinking of the very notorious Prince Magnus and my very not-so-worldly sister. “I don’t know, Im. Invoking marriage just to get into your pants seems low even for a guy with his rep. I don’t get the feeling he’s a bad person, he’s just got all those tabloid stories dogging him.”
Her face fell. God, I did not want her to make the same mistake I’d made with Henry those years before.
“Did he hurt you?”
“No, of course not,” she said fiercely. “He was actually really sweet.”
I let her let it out, feeling the weird mix of excited and protective as she told me about Magnus. Hell, maybe this was a night of leaving reputations behind?
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me who, you bitch,” Imogen finally muttered.
I gave her a sheepish look. “I’m sorry, I just…”
I trailed off.
“Who!”
“It’s…scandalous,” I whispered. I knew at some point I would tell her, but not yet. I couldn’t. I was still wrapping my head around the fact that I was falling for two guys.
“Fine, be like that,” she pouted back. “You’re terrible.” She sighed. “Hey, have you seen Isla? Or Adele for that matter?”
I shook my head. “No I was—”
We both stopped, looked at each other, and blushed.
“Yeah, guess we lost track of them,” she said quietly.
“You don’t think she’s still dancing with Prince Logan, do you?”
Imogen made a face. “God I can’t imagine she is. He scares me.”
“He’s also crazy hot.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Oh, he is, Im. In that dark tortured way. God I bet Isla is eating that up.”
We glanced at each other and grinned.
“She’s totally still dancing with him, isn’t she,” my sister laughed.
“Oh, totally. Hey we should get back in there.” I’d been gone for way too long, and I knew it.
“I need to go— uh.” Imogen looked away. “I’m just going to freshen up in my room.”
“Imogen! No, I need you to help hide me when we’re back in the ballroom!”
Her brow went up, a smirk on her lips. “What, embarrassed about whatever you just did that you won’t tell me about?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
I wasn’t so much embarrassed about what I’d done so much as I was about how I’d look all red-faced and hair down coming back into that ball. I glanced back up at her, ready to beg her to come with me, when I heard footsteps. I looked up, and caught just a brief glimpse of Cade and Caspian coming down the hall, their heads down as they talked to each other.
“I have to go, now,” I said quickly. And I did. Not because I didn’t want to see them, but b
ecause I knew I’d completely lose my cool if they came up while I was talking to Imogen. I knew she’d totally see what was happening if that happened.
“Please come back to the ball soon,” I quickly added, before running off, my heart racing and my body already yearning for them again.
“Oh, honey.”
I gasped at the voice right behind me the second I stepped into the ballroom. I jumped, turning around to come face-to-face with a stern-faced girl with dark black hair, sharp eyes, and lips thinned as she glared at me.
“You’re just their type, now aren’t you?”
My blood chilled. “Excuse me?”
Those red lips pulled into a tight smile as she narrowed her eyes at me.
“Don’t play games with me, honey,” she hissed. “Caspian and Cade.”
My heart jumped a little in my chest. How the hell did she know?
“Oh, please,” she barked out a laugh, as if reading my thoughts. “For one, I saw them chatting you up earlier, for two, I’m sure a goody-two-shoes angel like you wouldn’t ever see a pair like that coming, and for three, it’s written all over your pretty little face.”
I swallowed, straightening my shoulders back and eyeing her sharply.
“Do you know who I am?”
Hon? ‘Goody-two-shoes’? Did she even know who she was talking to? I’d never been one to lord my station over anyone, ever. But I wasn’t afraid to use it when I had to, especially with someone like whoever this girl was.
She just smiled wickedly though. “Of course I know who you are, Princess,” she spat before looking away and running a hand through her black hair.
“You know they’re just in it for the sex, right?”
I froze, my heart turning to ice in my chest as she turned back and grinned at me.
“Like I said, I can read it all over your face. All the pretty things I’m sure they said to you to get you off alone? You know,” she winked at me, making me shiver horribly. “Off wherever it is you just were with them? Well, they’re all lies.”
“Excuse me,” I said tightly, moving to push past her. But I gasped as she suddenly grabbed my wrist, pulling me back before I shook myself free.
“Take your hands off—”
“You’re just a notch on the bedpost, honey,” the girl hissed, her eyes narrowing at me as she smiled that horrible icy smile. “Take it from me.”
“I don’t know you,” I spat back. “But I’m going to have to ask you to leave the ball at once—”
“Emilia Astor, first Duchess of Ames,” she said, her voice dripping in venom as she stuck a hand out. I didn’t take it.
“Is that supposed to mean something?”
Her smiled curdled, something sharp flaring in her eyes.
“Maybe not to you, honey, but it does to those two princes of yours.”
I could feel my blood boiling, my hands clenching at my sides.
“I’m going to have to ask you to lea—”
“Ask them about me if you don’t believe me. They know who I am.”
I rolled my eyes at the crazy bitch trying to get under my skin for whatever weird reason.
“I doubt that,” I spat back.
Her smile only sharpened.
“Well, they should.” She winked. “You should too, actually.”
“Because?”
She laughed quietly, looking away and shaking her head before she turned back, her eyes full of fire.
“Because I almost married them, sweetheart.”
Something sharp lanced through my heart. Something cold, and icy, and horrible just cut right into me as she stood there laughing quietly at me.
“Trust me, honey, those two only wanted a piece of that uptight little royal ass of yours. And—” She smiled thinly. “—since I’m assuming they got it, you can be sure you won’t be seeing them again.”
I blinked, my mouth opening and closing but no words coming out.
“I’ll see myself out. Nice meeting you, Your Highness,” she spat, whirling on her heel and marching away, leaving me an empty shell of the girl I’d been three minutes before.
I didn’t want to believe her. Of course I didn’t. But her words had hit something delicate inside of me. Her words had hit me right where I was the most fragile, and suddenly, I felt everything shattering.
9
Caspian
We looked everywhere for her, but it wasn’t long before we realized she just wasn’t at the ball. She’d vanished. We’d seen her sister Princess Imogen earlier, but she hadn’t seen her either. I wasn’t quite sure I believed her, but then, I wasn’t sure why she’d lie either.
Something was wrong, we could both feel it.
“Something’s up.”
Cade’s jaw tightened, his head shaking as he tried to rationalize out loud again, as if that would help.
“I’m sure she’s busy with royal duties.”
“By herself?” I nodded across the ballroom. “King Lucian and Queen Jessica are over there doing all sorts of royal handshaking and smiling. Do you see Ilana anywhere?”
The shadow across his face deepened as he looked away, scowling as he scanned the room again.
“Shit,” he growled. Maybe we should go look in—”
His words just froze, and I glanced up, frowning as I saw the look on his face.”
“Dude, what’s—”
That’s when I turned, and I felt the blood turn to ice in my veins.
“Hello, boys,” Emilia purred, her lips twisting wickedly at the corners.
My heart twisted, wrenching around itself.
Neither of us felt anything for her anymore, I knew that without a shadow of doubt. We didn’t have feelings for her anymore, like we had once, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still burn to see her.
It still felt like a knife, twisting inside, and tearing into us. Not because we still loved her, but because we still hated her for the hurt she’d caused us. We hated her for the shit she’d almost put our family through right after our father’s death.
“Well well, small world, isn’t it?”
“What are you doing here, Emilia,” Cade hissed, his nostrils flaring as he stared daggers at her.
“Who, me?” She laughed, the sound like a fork grating over a plate.
“Oh, I’m just here like any other young single and royally connected girl,” she smiled. “Just looking for my Prince Charming.”
I growled, the anger roaring up inside of me.
“Well, poor choice of words I supposed, given the present company,” she said with a smile that made me want to punch something.
“You know the rules of the settlement, Emilia” Cade hissed. “You can’t be within five-hundred feet of—”
“The door is that way if you need to leave.”
I gritted my teeth, seeing red. How had we ever fallen for this bitch? How had we ever found her attractive, in any way, when this was horrible ugliness that lay beneath the surface?
But I knew why of course. Because she’d been the closest thing to what we wanted, even if we’d known she wasn’t it. We’d settled, and it was now, having found Ilana, that I knew how true that was.
But backstabbing bitch that she was, she’d done us a favor, of sorts. She’d cut herself out of our lives, and while that’d hurt then, I knew now it’d been the best thing that could’ve happened.
Because now, we had Ilana.
“We’re out of here,” I growled, grabbing my brother and jerking my head. “Let’s go.”
“Oh, were you looking for your friend?”
I ignored Emilia, pulling Cade after me. “Just keep walking, bro,” I hissed, my eyes fixed on the door.
“I mean your little princess friend?”
We both froze, the breath catching in my throat. Slowly, we turned.
Emilia smiled evil.
“What did you do?”
My voice felt like lead, like the sound was coming from somewhere outside my body.
“Oh, nothing much
,” Emilia said casually, glancing at her nails.
Cade bristled, stepping towards her. “Goddamnit, Emilia—”
“I just saved her from you two.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, the pain slicing through me.
“What did you do?”
“I warned her off,” she spat. “You know, since I’ve been there? With you two?”
It felt like something was shattering inside.
No.
Not like this. We’d just found her, and I was not going to lose her like this, especially not to goddamn Emilia Astor.
My hands closed into fists as I stormed right into her, the rage about to break its way out like a dam shattering.
“Fuck you, Emilia,” I hissed, my eyes narrowing to slits at her.
“You bitch,” Cade snarled right next to me. “The fuck did we ever do to you to turn you into this fucking monster?”
She bristled. “Keep talking to me like that and I’ll go tell King Lucian all the filthy things I’m sure you’ve done with his daughter tonight. Under his roof, no less.”
I wanted to kill her. I wanted to scream at her, and tell her to go fuck herself, and to go roaring through the castle looking for Ilana.
But then, we were in the middle of a ballroom, and a king’s palace.
This was not the place, and we both knew it.
Cade grabbed my arm, yanking me with him as he turned and strode away. The both of us said nothing, the fury just boiling up inside of us until we stormed through a side door and out into a deserted hallway.
And that’s when we broke.
I roared, grinding my teeth so hard I wondered if they’d shatter as I grabbed my head in my hands. Cade screamed out profanities before taking a swing at a wall, almost hitting the stone too, before I jumped forward and stopped him.
We panted, both of our shoulders heaving as we fought for breath.
“We’re going to find her,” Cade hissed. “We have to.”
I nodded. “One thing first.”
I strode down the hallway towards a guard, who’d somehow maintained complete composure despite clearly having witnessed our outburst.
“Excuse me, Lieutenant?”
He nodded stiffly. “Your Highness?”
