Love or Lust 3

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Love or Lust 3 Page 9

by Rachael Brownell


  “That it’s been you two against the rest of us from the get-go.”

  “No, it hasn’t,” I state firmly, avoiding eye contact with him as I reach into the basket and pull out the plastic wine glasses and plates.

  “Yes, it has. Deny it all you want, but I know what I saw. From day one, the competition was over. If Jace hadn’t been eliminated last week, I’d be where he is right now.”

  We both know he’s right, but I can’t bring myself to agree with him. Or deny it. Instead, I go for broke and try my hand at humor instead.

  “You’d be in Teegan’s bed?” I giggle at my joke, but Milo cringes.

  Well, that didn’t work out the way I planned.

  “You don’t really think that’s what he’s doing right now, do you?”

  “No, I don’t, but I also don’t want you to think you’re here by default.”

  “I’ll take default. It’s one more week I get to spend hanging out with you guys. I like it here. I’m having fun. Sure, I may have messed with a few of the girls, but it was consensual on multiple levels. No strings attached. We both had needs that needed to be satisfied. That was it. And they’re gone, so what does it matter? I’ll get more money in the end. It’s the reason we all signed up to begin with, right?”

  Not all of us, I want to say.

  Me? Yes, that’s why I’m here. That and a poor decision fueled by alcohol and a broken heart.

  Lennon admitted he came here to find love. He had no interest in lust or messing around.

  A few others admitted they were broken and thought it might be a good idea to see what could happen.

  But for the most part, people were here for the money. Because someone wanted to pay us to live here for six weeks and film our every move.

  Was it worth it?

  For me? Yes. Without a doubt.

  Not because of the money. The money will help with what happens next.

  Whether I take first or second place, I still win. Because I found love. I found Jace. That wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t signed up for this stupid show in the first place.

  I need to remember to thank Naomi next time I talk to her.

  “You know, I think after being here, meeting everyone, falling in love . . . the money may have been the motivation behind some of us signing up, but I really hope it’s not all we take away from this. I mean, think about it. Most of us have become good friends and will stay friends long after this is over.”

  “Is that your way of inviting me to the wedding?” Milo asks with a grin. All I can do is roll my eyes as he pops the cork on the wine. “You know it’s going to happen, right? He’s going to propose, and the two of you will live happily ever after.”

  “No, Milo. I don’t know that will happen. And if it does, I doubt it will be any time soon.”

  “Right. The man sent you flowers. Lots of flowers,” he replies, motioning around the room with his free hand.

  “Flowers don’t mean he’s going to propose.”

  “No, but they mean he’s still thinking about you. They mean he still wants to be with you. I know you guys talked about seeing each other after this.”

  How much do I want to tell him? What has Jace told him already?

  “We did, but nothing was set in stone before he left.”

  “Does his absence change the way you feel about him? About what you want?”

  “You’re getting a little deep tonight,” I say, avoiding his question as he hands me a glass of wine. When I raise my glass in the air, he holds up his margarita and clinks my glass with his, the plastic making an odd sound. “To us.”

  “To love,” Milo says before taking a sip. “Whatever you decide, Presley, I hope you don’t doubt how he feels.”

  Why is everyone telling me how Jace feels about me? Why does everyone know?

  How can they be so certain he still feels the same way?

  I mean . . . I know he does. The flowers were a good indication, but in my heart, I just know. I feel the same way.

  There’s no reason Milo and Lennon should know, though.

  Unless . . .

  “Have you talked to him?” I lean close and whisper, hoping the cameras won’t pick up the sound of my voice.

  “No,” he replies quickly. “That’s not allowed.”

  “Uh-huh. Why am I getting the impression you’re lying to me?”

  Milo shakes his head as he looks past me, his eyes focused on the camera I know is above the archway to the kitchen.

  “Well, for someone who thinks he knows everything, you don’t know much. I mean, the last time Jace and I talked, it was about me visiting him in Miami. He said he may know of a place that’s looking to hire. I was thinking of taking him up on it, and maybe I will. I guess when this is all over, I’ll give him a call and see if the offer still stands.”

  “It will.”

  “We’ll see,” I remark, sipping my wine and avoiding eye contact.

  Milo and I nibble on the snacks, sip our drinks, and reminisce about the last few weeks. The ups and downs of the competition. The dates we’ve had. The three-legged race. Throwing ourselves on the balloons to pop them as a sacrifice.

  We’ve had a lot of fun together. It makes me realize how much I’m going to miss seeing Milo every day.

  Seeing everyone.

  Sure, I’m excited to get back to my life. To see Naomi. To start fresh.

  But for as much of a pain in the ass this competition has been, it has been fun. I will miss everyone. I’ll miss having someone to hang out with every day. Our impromptu pool parties. Jace mixing drinks behind the bar for everyone.

  It makes me wish we all lived closer. So we could get together on weekends. Recreate the good times we’ve had.

  Being here, with eleven strangers, is something I’ll never forget for the rest of my life. I’ve learned a lot about myself. About who I am, what I want, and where I’m going. I’ve also learned what friendship should look like. What love should feel like. What’s important in life.

  For that, I’ll always be grateful.

  Chapter Eleven

  Day 40

  This morning feels like the end is coming. Nothing has changed since Milo left last night.

  Aside from the mess on my bedroom floor. Those clothes are now folded and packed in my suitcase.

  Maybe that’s what has me on edge.

  The fact I know it’s almost over. That time is running out. That this time next week, I’ll be back in my room at Naomi’s, attempting to pick up the pieces of my life. A life I attempted to leave behind when I came here when, in hind sight, I only put it on hold.

  Finding a job—on hold.

  A place to live—on hold.

  A new perspective . . . that might be the one thing I have now.

  Am I still upset about Wren? A little, but the hurt is gone. Thinking about him doesn’t make me feel like I’m going to vomit. I’m not constantly dreaming of catching him in the act over and over again anymore.

  Instead, I dream about Jace. The look on his face when he was called away. The feel of his warm embrace turning cold as I watched him walk off with Ed and Claudia. He didn’t look back. He didn’t assure me everything was going to be okay. He just followed them.

  I think we both expected he’d be back when, in reality, that wasn’t the case.

  And when I wake up from those nightmares, it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest.

  All I want right now is a glimmer of hope. To feel his eyes devour me one last time.

  And I will.

  After this is all over.

  Once the cameras cut for the final time and we’re all free to go back to our regularly scheduled lives.

  The thought makes me both happy and sad.

  Sad to leave the friends I’ve made here. To leave Bella, Lennon, and Milo. Happy to reunite with Naomi.

  More than anything, excited to see Jace.

  Our contracts officially expire at noon on Monday. My flight home will be scheduled fo
r later that afternoon, but I’m thinking of changing destinations. Something I should talk to Claudia about sooner rather than later..

  Claudia who hates me.

  Who has hated me from day one it feels like.

  The one person I need a favor from is the one person who probably has no interest in helping me.

  If I want to make this happen, I’m going to have to grovel at her feet. Beg. Plead. Things I swore I’d never do.

  But that’s the situation I’ve put myself in.

  Checking the time, I still have two hours before my final date with Lennon, so I slip on a pair of flip flops and head toward the main house. If Claudia is here, that’s where I’ll find her.

  Slipping through the back door, the first thing I notice is how quiet it is. Every other time I’ve been in here it’s been for elimination ceremonies. Everyone in the room was rushing from place to place, making the final adjustments for the show before we were live.

  The room was alive and buzzing.

  And right now, it’s empty. It’s just a large open space with no defining characteristics. Not a single camera or spotlight in sight. Considering they moved the finale to the lawn, I’m not surprised to see the equipment has been moved out already in preparation.

  It just feels weird. To be in here alone.

  Well, except the cameraman that caught sight of me as I was walking by the pool and decided to follow me.

  Taking the corridor that runs along the back of the house, the staircase is in sight when I hear the low murmur of voices echoing off the walls.

  Slowing my pace, the voices become louder and louder as I climb the staircase. Once I reach the landing, I spot the open door at the far end of the hall. I’m about to knock on the frame when I hear my name.

  It’s the voice speaking that surprises me more than anything.

  “She can’t win. That’s what people want. That’s what they’ll expect. I don’t think we have anything to worry about, though. Milo seems to realize he’s not in the running, and Bella and Lennon are growing closer and closer every day. We just need to make sure he doesn’t change his mind at the last second and choose Presley,” Courtney says adamantly.

  What the fuck is she doing here? More importantly, why does it sound like she works for the show?

  “That girl is so in love with Jace, she doesn’t even see the other guys,” Claudia says.

  “It doesn’t matter that she’s in love with Jace. He’s gone. If he were here, we’d have a clear winner. They would choose each other, and viewers would have predicted the ending from the first episode. I swear to God, I can’t wait to stop seeing the hashtag Pace4ever trending on social media. It’s not even unique.”

  You can hear the disgust in Courtney’s voice as something is slammed on a hard surface, startling me.

  “It’s better than #SlutCourt, don’t you think?”

  “That was intentional. We started that. Had Natasha not been so damn nosey, it wouldn’t have been necessary.”

  We started that.

  We, as in, she’s part of their team. Part of the show. Part of the production. It’s all the confirmation I need.

  Turning, I rush past the cameraman and down the stairs, not stopping until I’m out the back door and out of sight, hiding behind the game room. While I wait for the cameraman to catch up to me, I shoot off a text to each of the remaining contestants.

  ME: Meeting in Gage’s villa. 5 minutes. Don’t let them follow you.

  I silence my phone just as the cameraman exits the house, looking around for any sign of me. Giving up after a few minutes, he heads back into the house, more than likely to inform Claudia and Courtney of what just happened.

  Lennon and Milo are already in the living room of Gage’s villa when I arrive. I don’t say anything as I pace the room, waiting for Bella to show up. Ten excruciatingly long minutes later, she rushes through the door, slamming it behind her.

  “What took you so long?” Milo asks.

  “Claudia stopped me. She was looking for you,” she replies, pointing at me.

  “That’s because I went to talk to her and overheard something I wasn’t supposed to.”

  “What’d you hear?” Milo asks as all eyes fall on me.

  I repeat everything I heard, how Courtney has somehow been involved since the beginning, and then give them my best interpretation of the events. “She was planted here. To spy. To manipulate us. Push us together or pull us apart. I’m not surprised. It sounds like Natasha figured it out and was kicked off before she could blow Courtney’s cover. Maybe that’s why Jace was kicked off as well.”

  “Or they wanted to make sure the finale wasn’t predictable,” Lennon suggests.

  “No offense, but if viewers expected Jace and I to win, wouldn’t they tune in to find out if they were right or not? Wouldn’t that make ratings higher?”

  “I bet you anything ratings were tanking, and they had to find a way to create more drama.” Milo’s reasoning only leads to more questions.

  “Why not kick me off then? Why Jace?”

  Lennon’s smile widens as he looks around the room, making eye contact with both Bella and Milo before finally looking to me. “Because he was part of the love triangle. If you take him out of the equation, that leaves you and me. If you are taken out, that leaves me and Jace and no one to fight over.”

  “But you and Bella—” I start but Lennon cuts me off.

  “That’s just it. Removing Jace created a new love triangle for the final week. Dramatic, right? The focus is on me. That’s why it feels like more cameras have been on me since Jace left. They want to see who I pick.”

  It makes perfect sense. They’re creating the drama, the chaos, and we are just pawns. After all, this is a game. They’re moving us around the way they see fit. We can try and counter their move, but they’re one step ahead of us.

  “So why kick Courtney off?” Milo asks after a few long tense minutes of silence. “If she was on their team all along, why not keep her in play?”

  “I guarantee there was no way to keep her if you all voted her off.”

  “The meeting,” Lennon states. “They had to know we all agreed to send her home. There was no way for them to let her stay.”

  “You guys had a meeting?” Bella asks. She’s been quiet since arriving, soaking it all in.

  Lennon and Milo share a look before nodding in unison.

  “Here’s my question,” I start, knowing that once I say the words, I can’t take them back. “If Courtney was a plant for the girls, who was a plant for the guys?”

  The room falls silent. You could cut the tension with a knife. If it’s Milo or Lennon I’m going to flip my shit.

  What if it was Jace, though? That would be worse. Our entire relationship would be based on a lie.

  “If I tell you who I think it was, will you promise to keep an open mind?” Lennon finally asks, looking directly at me.

  The way he asks sends a shiver up my spine, but I nod anyway.

  “I think it was Gage. Jace swore he saw him when he arrived. Thought he was one of the guards by the front door. Said he recognized him by his red hair. I didn’t give it much thought until right now. My arrival was held up by almost thirty minutes, and they wouldn’t tell me why. Gage is the only one besides Jace that arrived before me. It would make sense if they had to pull him at the last minute.”

  “And Courtney arrived right after me I think,” I add, attempting to piece everything together.

  “They said I was going to be delayed, but then they were rushing me to the house,” Milo notes, pushing himself out of the chair he’s been sitting in and then pacing the length of the living room. “It would make sense. He was pissed from the get-go. He didn’t want to be here. If he was replacing someone, he would want to be kicked off.”

  “He got his wish,” I mutter to no one in particular.

  “You know, I voted Courtney off every week,” Lennon says. “I thought she was conniving from the beginning. Her actions
seemed planned, and her acting skills were less than convincing. She’d care too much one minute and not at all the next. And her story never added up to me. She started off as a bubbly blonde that didn’t seem to be all that smart, and then she suddenly was manipulating some of the other girls and plotting against you for no reason at all. That was a big leap. I never understood how she kept surviving.”

  Thinking back, her and Gage seemed at odds most of the time, but then again, we only saw what they wanted us to. It was all probably an act.

  “What do we do?” Bella asks, finally moving from where she’s been standing next to the door and taking a seat beside Lennon on the sofa.

  “Nothing,” I state firmly. “We do nothing. There’s nothing we can do. We get through the rest of the week and finish the show.”

  “We could manipulate who wins,” Milo suggests.

  “Honestly, I don’t think they’d let that happen at this point. If Claudia was looking for me, she already knows I heard her and Courtney talking. Whatever they have planned won’t change.”

  “So let’s change it,” Lennon suggests. “They may be able to manipulate the results, but if they don’t make sense, it will be obvious. They can’t control how we act.”

  “They control what they show. How things are pieced together,” Bella counters, her voice low and uncertain.

  “Let’s give them a show,” I state, a plan formulating in my mind. Making eye contact with Lennon, I spill my idea. “You and I need to heat things up for the cameras. We need to make it look like we are going to choose each other. Milo and Bella will do the same. Then, when it comes time to vote, you choose Bella and she chooses you. We reveal our votes live. There’s no manipulating the results this time.”

  For as little as I pay attention to how things are going to go each week, the one thing I do remember reading is the way the finale is set up. Each of us will be taken into an interview room before the show starts and asked a series of questions. They’ll broadcast it during the finale. Then, when we’re asked to vote, we announce our choice individually by holding up a card for the camera to see. The only way to win is if two people choose each other.

 

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