“What do you do then, just hang about all day?”
“Well, I’m not so completely useless. I don’t mind bookshops and I buy my own books and......” he stopped as he suddenly realised that he did not do much except read all day, work on a set whenever he was shooting a film, pick girls in the evening and kick them out as soon as he possibly could. “What about you, I know that you work in this laboratory and clinic, I heard about it for two whole hours, but otherwise who is Maria Conti?”
She laughed, “Yes, I’m sorry about those endless two hours, you must have been very bored listening to dreary trials and medical theories. But I’m afraid that my work is my whole life and if you strip that away I’m equally as boring inside. I have little time left for anything else, I do have to cook, clean and do my own shopping, unlike you. I like to travel but that is only on holidays.”
“No time for friends? Or boyfriends?” he asked, though he knew the answer to that.
“No.” His question had hit a raw nerve and she looked out of the window. Her discomfort supported his breakup theory. Josh did not probe anymore and drove on in silence.
Rita promised to have everything ready in two hours, toothbrush and all. That would give them enough time to get some dinner. Josh got his jacket back after Rita gave Maria a fetching dress in exchange for the ripped shirt. His sixth sense had somehow predicted that very scene in Rita’s department store. He surprised himself with the degree of accuracy he had been able to foretell the various minute insignificant details including her black clinging dress and his new blue shirt...and her bright red cheeks as he stripped off his bloodstained shirt. His observation skills were getting better by the second.
****
“You seem to have everything planned out. Do you usually go round helping damsels in distress?” Maria asked after they had ordered dinner.
“I must admit that you are the most challenging damsel I have ever had...no hotel, no clothes and needing medical attention. I am completely drained out and exhausted today.”
“Is that why you went to that park, to pick on a poor female in trouble?” She smiled but then turned serious, “Are you going to tell me how you happened to be in that park?” She had remembered his promise to tell her everything over dinner.
“Well ... I wanted to meet my father. I don’t even know who he is or what he looks like...not even my mother knows that....” Josh looked deep into her understanding brown eyes and the secret door to his thoughts suddenly unlocked. He told her everything about himself. He began with his mother and her abortion plans which were intercepted by Julie. This led to his mother hating him for existing and her consequent emotional neglect. He told her about his childhood insecurities and how he had become fervently obsessed with discovering the identity of his real father. He even divulged his strange ability to remember every detail in a book, that photographic memory which made him feel so aberrant and eccentric.
He led her into his thoughts, his sanctuary, where no one had ever been. She asked the right questions which prompted immediate responses and encouraged him to continue to open up. He did not know why he kept on talking and talking after all those years living in his own cocoon, but he could not stop himself. She was a very good listener. After two hours he felt completely naked of his thoughts and truly drained out. There were only a couple of things he did not tell her. He never mentioned his crazy vivid dreams or his absurd conviction that he had somehow known her in another life, and that it was not just a casual encounter but a deep lasting relationship.
“I don’t want to bore you with my life, but as you can see I’m completely messed up. I had this strange compelling feeling that I would meet my father beneath that specific oak tree near that aging fountain … but instead I met you. Crazy, huh ... and I even spent two days sitting on the bench waiting for him to show up. So now you know I’m mental.”
“No you’re not, these things are actually documented in medicine and sometimes people get strange premonitions. They are all linked to our subconscious. I personally don’t understand it but my father had actually tried to study and document this phenomenon.”
“Gosh, it feels really great talking to you. I am not usually this verbal. I like to sit back and observe people’s subtle reactions as they blab away revealing all their inner thoughts and wishes. I did that to you while you were chatting away with Freddie and you’ll be surprised at how intimately well I know your life. I even know what you’re thinking right now.”
Her brown eyes widened with shock. Did he know how irresistibly attractive she found him and how much she could not tear her eyes away from his perfectly chiselled face? He must get that same reaction from every female on earth. He must find it very boring. Only her fiancée’s betrayal and her deep mistrust in the male species kept her from jumping into his arms and begging him to take full advantage of her. She tried to guard her facial expression.
“Maria, you are a terrible actress, don’t try to hide things from me because it’s a futile task. I did tell you that I could read through anyone. And yes, you are right, I do get that kind of adoring look a lot and I am usually bored, but today I am really enjoying seeing it written in bold letters all over your face.” He stopped and fixed his gaze somewhere beyond her head, afraid that he had gone too far. “I’m sorry, that was very arrogant of me. But I sometimes I wish that people would stop liking me for the way I look, but on the other hand what else is there to like, I always show them the nasty part of my character and never trust anyone to look beyond my exterior ... and I’m talking way too much tonight and I don’t want to ruin my evening just yet.”
He stopped and chanced a glance at her face. She was smiling. So she was not the slapping type and she even seemed to enjoy his harmless observations, so he decided to push his luck. “Anyway, that’s enough about me. What is your story? No wait, don’t tell me, I’ll guess. I must warn you that it will be very close to the truth and you might get very mad. Would you like me to give it a shot?”
She nodded and he let his thoughts flow out.
“From my two-hour observation, while you were happily talking to Freddie, I gathered that your hasty departure from England was due to your parents’ death as well as a messy breakup with some fiancée. You must have worn his ring for a long time, there is still its mark on your finger. You just had to escape and all you wanted was to forget about it and lose yourself in a book. You wanted to be on your own, you wanted no one to observe your pain and that is why you chose the first uninhabited deserted park you could find. You were too miserable to perceive any danger and left everything up to fate or rather up to me.”
He paused and looked at her, she nodded and he continued, “You also resented Freddie’s constant flattery which perhaps reminded you too much of your previous fiancée. Perhaps he was a doctor working with you as you had a pained look on your face every time Freddie asked you about your superiors, perhaps he was your boss. Wait, I think I can be even more accurate than that. He must have been the medical director of the hospital you work in, your ultimate boss. When Freddie boasted that he was the medical director of his hospital you gave him a look that could have killed him instantly, if looks could kill. You also subconsciously touched your finger where the ring should have been.” Josh stopped; at this point any other girl would have called him a miserable freak. But she just sat opposite him, smiling sweetly, greatly amused at the accuracy of his observations.
“Go on, I am really enjoying this. You are spot on so far,” she encouraged him.
“Freddie was too oblivious to your reactions. He wanted to impress you with the fact that he was the man in charge and everything rested on his capable shoulders. But the last thing you wanted was to talk about medicine or your hospital and definitely not about your medical director. Poor Freddie, but he really does like you. It is very rare, no not rare, it never happened to him that a female refused his invitation to dinner. He is usually quite a catch. He is quite my opposite, a friendly extrovert who will fill
every second of your time with constant chatter and laughter. He will not be pleased with your little lie especially if he sees you having dinner with me.”
“So don’t tell him,” she said, not really caring much about Freddie’s feelings.
“I won’t. He never really thought of me as competition. I am usually very silent, sour, moody and boring, having dinner with me could be a very painful experience with women struggling to keep up a conversation and rejoicing when they manage to extract a full sentence out of me. However that sentence could very well be some acidic comment that would make their blood boil. They only go through with it because of what usually happens after dinner at my place. I am handsome, rich and famous after all. Believe me, some would go through absolute hell to sleep with people like me. Everyone wants the same thing, there are no exceptions.”
He stopped, why on earth was he telling her all this, it must be uncomfortable for her, he avoided her eyes, “I’m sorry; I must apologize again. I’m not usually so crude. Well that’s a lie, I am usually crude but I didn’t want to be tonight but my meanness must be inbuilt and I cannot stop the acidity from leaking out. If you think I’m too toxic for you, I can always pay for your hotel, you don’t have to stay at my place ... Though, to tell you the truth, I did not want to offer the hotel option because I would like to take you home with me tonight. But don’t worry, nothing is going to happen after dinner at my place unless you want it to ... Gosh, you are making me feel like an insecure teenager and I must be digging my own grave ... You don’t have to listen to any of my rudeness. Listen, forget it. I’ll pay for your hotel. Do you want to leave now?” He took his car keys out of his pocket and prepared to leave.
“No, a couple of days at your place sounds fine. I am positive that you will treat me very well despite your low opinion of yourself. I find you refreshingly honest and truthful. Very few people speak their mind and luckily I am not so easily offended. Stop apologizing and just keep on talking,” she said encouragingly. She recognised the barrier he had built around himself as he subconsciously pushed people away from him by his careless and deliberate remarks. It was his way of protecting his heart, pushing them away before they push him away, like his mother had done. He was willing her to deeply hate him but she couldn’t. He was telling her how obnoxious he really was and he was shamelessly exposing her every thought, but his stark honesty and accurate observations were only sucking her even deeper into his mind. She wanted him to continue to spill out all his thoughts.
“Go on Josh, tell me what’s on your mind. Talking helps.”
“OK. I’ll keep on talking. It’s your risk if you want to keep on listening. You are messing up my brain, you seem to have unlocked my vocal cords and I can’t stop talking about everything that pops into my head. I have no inhibitions. It’s like going to see a psychiatrist. Perhaps I should date doctors more often. If you get up and leave I will probably keep on talking to your chair.”
Josh suddenly felt compelled to reveal his weird vision. He had three reasons; first he wanted to know how much more of his bizarre behaviour she could possibly stomach. Secondly he felt that he had to be honest with her and, most importantly, he wanted to know if any of the details in the morgue scene were correct.
“I can even tell you what your boyfriend looks like. I don’t know how to explain this but I saw a vision of what might happen to you in the park if I were to leave you sleeping on that bench. I saw your brother and fiancée crying over your dead body in the city morgue. Your fiancée had fair straight hair parted in the middle and light blue eyes and was very elegantly dressed in a dark blue suit. He was very Freddie-like, same build, height and colouring but Freddie’s features are much more refined. This fair-haired man cried and slipped this ring on your finger, it was probably your engagement ring that you must have flung at his face before your exit from the UK. It had a single oval pale blue diamond set in white gold and...”
That information overload was probably the final straw that broke the camel’s back. Her hands started to tremble as she nervously flicked her curls away from her terrified, tearful face. He had finally broken her with his shocking comments, she would hate him now...but...he did not want that because he cared a lot about this fragile innocent girl. He had to forget all about honesty and truth, and he started to bluff his way out of the slippery situation he had just created.
“I’m sorry, again, that was a very nasty trick for me to play. I never saw a morgue or your fiancée or your ring. I just guessed that he was fair-haired with blue eyes because most British men are. You chose blue for the colour of my shirt so I gave him a blue suit. As for the ring, well I would give you such a ring myself if I had been the lucky man to have you as my fiancée. I’m sorry; I just let my imagination run wild, that’s all. Please don’t slap my face. Just forgive my tasteless remarks for the millionth time this evening,” he begged as he closed his eyes and braced himself for that slap.
She laughed, “What makes you think that I would slap your face? Do all your dates end up that way? Don’t worry I’m fine, I was just shocked at the accuracy of your observations. For a moment I really thought you had seen that morgue. But apart from that morbid part I am really enjoying this.”
He let out a sigh of relief. Thank God, he had not started to describe her gigantic brother; it would have been difficult to get out of that one. He decided to lock his crazy vision in a forgotten room inside his head. It was just an accurate observation, he will never think about it again. He had often done that before, locking away any images which were inexplicable and weird, and once he turned that key on that door he was unlikely to remember them ever again. He had to do that to keep his sanity going. He decided to let her do the talking now, “Why did you break up?”
“Why are you asking me that? You must know the answer. Go on, I’ll tell you if you are wrong.”
“OK, the one most common reason why couples break up has to be infidelity. He must have slept with someone else. You can take it from there and fill me in on any details I might have missed,” he smiled at her and she turned bright red.
She wished that he would stop smiling at her and making her heart flip. He must be observing her very closely and he would notice these embarrassing signs. She had never met such an observant and perceptive person before. His thoughts were deep and meaningful and not in the least superficial or flirty. He was honest, transparent and open.
He was waiting for her to continue but she was very reluctant to reveal more. He already knew too much about her. She took a deep breath and tried to waffle her way out, “I’m speechless, how on earth did you know all that? You must know me better than I know myself. It is my job to read through other people’s actions and sift through their conversation to see what they are really thinking. But I must say that you are a million times better at it than I could ever hope to be. But I would appreciate it if you would stop analysing me for the short time we have together. It makes me feel uncomfortable.”
“OK, but you are stalling; I told you everything about me, now I want all your tiny details with no waffling. I’m curious.”
“You are analysing me again, how do you know that I’m stalling? Well, OK...Err...OK...I met Rob when I was eighteen, in my third year at medical school. He, being eight years my senior, was this handsome bright doctor taking us on tutorials and teaching us all the proper examination techniques. I fell instantly in love, but he was out of my league. Not only was he this jaw-dropping mature doctor on his rapid rise in his promising career, but also a womaniser with a string of girlfriends hanging on his neck. We became good friends but he never made a pass because I was his student. Then I graduated. The day after my graduation party he turned up very early on my doorstep with the biggest bunch of flowers I had ever seen. I had a humongous hangover, was still in my nightwear and my hair was in a terrible state. But my dreams had come true. He shed all his philandering ways and our relationship grew stronger and stronger for three solid years...or so I thought. Then he as
ked me to marry him. We have everything planned for a lavish wedding a month from today...the union of the medical director to the promising young researcher.”
Her voice faltered but Josh nodded, encouraging her on.
“Two months ago my parents died and I became a total wreck. I must have depressed him or something. Anyway, yesterday I decided to try and pick myself up. I impulsively took the afternoon off work to start sorting things out for the big day. I had left a list in his apartment and I went there first...he was in bed with my best friend. I flung the engagement ring at his face and stormed out. He ran out half naked in the street and swore that it only happened once. This is what he had the gall to tell me...You won’t survive the day without me, Maria, you’ll forgive me, I know you would....” She was shaking with anger. “And he blamed the whole thing on me because I....” she hesitated. Josh would soon find out that she was his complete opposite. She took a deep breath and prepared to defend her beliefs, “I...I didn’t want to sleep with him before we got married. Naturally, he had wanted to from our very first date, but I believe that sex is sacred, we are not animals, and such an intimate act should be done only for love. So I stalled. Of course, we did other stuff but we never slept together and I managed to drag this out for three years. It was obviously not enough for him. He had slept with all of his ex-girlfriends, so I guess he didn’t like the idea of suddenly going celibate. He probably had other affaires that I don’t even know about and I only happened to find out about this quite by accident. I hardly ever act on impulses and he never expected me to take time off work and barge in on him. He said that I was definitely the only living creature in the entire universe who still believes in love, marriage and sex...happening in that order.”
The Blake Soul Page 4
