She nodded, disappointed.
As he handed her the cup of steaming coffee the crisis immediately struck home. Her brown eyes widened and the cup slipped from her hand and shattered on the floor. She covered her face with her hands and started to breathe rapidly, swaying to one side. Josh circled his arms around her waist, steadying her, but she panicked even more and forcefully pushed him away.
“It was Freddie, wasn’t it? It was Freddie coming down the cellar steps in my nightmares and he...Oh Josh, I’m so sorry, how can you ever forgive me.” She ran into their room and slammed the door.
Josh knocked and slowly turned the doorknob. She was lying on their bed, hugging her knees and sobbing bitterly. As he came closer she buried her face in the pillow and started to tremble. She had been transported to that cellar again. She was on the very edge of insanity and he did not want to push her, so he took some steps backwards, leaned against the doorframe and spoke gently, “Maria, there is nothing to be sorry about. None of this is your fault.”
“But it is my fault. I’ve killed our baby. You tried to warn me about him but I never listened. I enjoyed bringing out that jealous streak in you and I used to flirt with him to pay you back for what you did in the past. Perhaps I went too far but I swear I only did it in bitter vengeance. He was always dating other girls and I never thought that there was anything seriously romantic between us. We were just great friends and we used to talk about everything,” she sobbed. “Please Josh, stay away from me, don’t touch me,” she shrieked hysterically as Josh crossed the room and attempted to take her into his arms.
“Maria, don’t lock me out. I’m not Freddie and I will never hurt you. Would you feel better if I called Dr Bell and you discussed this with her?”
She nodded but continued to sob in her pillow.
The doorbell rang some fifteen minutes later. Dr Bell quickly controlled the situation and Maria started to loosen up and stopped crying and even managed a quick glance at her husband, who was still standing patiently by the bedroom door.
“Would you like to tell me what you remember? It will help if you unload it off your chest. Josh can wait outside if you want him to,” Dr Bell said gently as she sat on the edge of the bed.
“No, he can stay. He has a right to know what happened.” Maria could not bring herself to look at him as he came in and sat on a nearby armchair. “Soon after Josh left my office, the bookcase was jerked forward. I was surprised to see Freddie standing there. He quickly crossed the room and locked my door. He threatened to blow up our house with the kids and Josh inside it if I didn’t write a goodbye note. I started to laugh, thinking that it was nothing but a nasty joke, but he was dead serious and I just wrote whatever he dictated. He then gave me a cup of coffee. When Josh gave me the cup just a while ago, it somehow triggered back all the memories.” She paused. “The coffee was surely drugged because the next thing I remember is lying on a bed in this cellar with Freddie and Tanya standing over me.”
She grimaced, not sure how to continue. Josh did not want to hear the story. He already knew all the sordid details. He wanted to tell her that it did not matter and that he loved her just the same, but he switched on his acting mode and hid all his anguish.
“It was freezing cold but I had nothing on except the shirt I wore to work that morning. I don’t know what they did to me whilst I was unconscious but I felt very sore and dirty down there. I moved to the corner of the bed away from them. Freddie was not aggressive at first, he just let his hatred for Josh spring forth. He painted this dark, malevolent picture of him and he said that he had to kidnap me for my own good, to protect me from him. He piled on the bed thousands of photos of Josh... really explicit photos of him intimate with Tanya and many others...” she stopped, the memory too painful and burning.
“And how did you feel about that?” Dr Bell encouraged her.
“It hurt. My husband’s past had always been my sore point.” Maria was talking to Dr Bell as if Josh had not been present in the room. He was just an outsider listening to two people discussing him. She completely avoided his eyes and ploughed on, “I started to cry and Freddie dragged me towards him and pushed me down flat on the bed amongst the mass of photos scattered all around me. He had seen my pain and he expected no resistance from me. But by then I had come to recognise his tactics, a bit too late. He had been shoving Josh’s dirty linen in my face ever since Ben was born. I rammed my knee in his groin and he went bizarrely insane. He grabbed my hair and dragged me off the bed and chained my hands to the wall. He had this really crazy look and he started to hit me and punch me and then he...Tanya just sat there, smiling and watching it all.” She collapsed, sobbing uncontrollably.
Josh could no longer stomach her grief and he knelt by the bed and took her in his arms, “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters any more. I still love you, I will always love you even if you had wanted it to happen. You don’t have to continue your story.” His tears mixed with her own as they streamed down her face. His closeness strangely calmed her down. After some time she continued, looking into his eyes, Dr Bell now the onlooker.
“At that point you phoned about some CCTV. I tried to scream but Tanya gagged my mouth. They left after a while. It was really cold and there were rats everywhere, but I didn’t mind as long as Freddie stayed away. However he returned soon enough and he went really crazy for no particular reason; I had not even opened my mouth. He began to cut my skin with a sharp knife, but at that point I was in so much pain that I don’t really remember what happened next. I vaguely remember him stitching me up and later he pressed this burning rod to my back. I thought that I would soon die and I hoped I would. I dimly remember you standing next to me but I thought that I was hallucinating. How did you find me?”
“It’s a long story. Marco helped a lot. The important thing is that you are with us again. We have to put all this behind us and try to move on. We can get over this if you remember that I love you no matter what.”
“Well said, Josh. I couldn’t have put it better myself.” Dr Bell nodded and smiled. “Maria, I think you’ve had enough for today. I will give you something to help you sleep, and, perhaps Josh could bring in a glass of water?”
Josh took the hint and he quickly left the room, closing the door behind him.
“Is there anything else you want to discuss with me?”
Maria started crying again, “The things Freddie did to me in that cellar were beyond demeaning. I did not dare go into any details. Josh won’t look at me in the same way again and I’m terrified of him packing up and leaving me. I have always been petrified of that very thought and that was why I wanted to drive him insane with jealousy. I was constantly flirting with Freddie, egging him on. I guess I wanted to show Josh that I too had my own fans. So you see, all this is my fault.”
“That’s a normal subconscious psychological reaction to your husband’s outstanding fame. Admitting it is one step towards abolishing it. Jealousy can never glue you together, it can only tear you apart. Maria, Josh will never leave you. I did openly discuss things with him when you were still unconscious in hospital. The psychological trauma can be just as distressing for the partners of rape victims, but Josh was very open-minded, composed and focussed on getting you well again. He is aware of what you had to go through; Freddie made sure that he knew all about the fine details, so this is not new to him. He is happy if you are happy and I think that for the sake of his love and your family you should try to move forward. Put it all behind you. Will you work on that?”
Josh saw Dr Bell to the door and slowly returned to their room. The atmosphere was heavy and uncomfortable. Maria kept staring fixedly at the floor as she sat on the edge of their bed. Josh sank on one knee and clasped her hands, “Forgive me Maria. I never wanted to drag you inside my insane family circle.”
“Josh please, stop blaming yourself for everything that happens around you. You are not responsible for the things Freddie did. He is not mentally stable. He has been harbouring thi
s profound hatred for you for years, way before you and I got together. He even went to this crazy extreme of secretly filming you with women whenever you went to his wild parties in his apartment.”
“That explains all the photos he showed you.” He sighed sadly, “He knew all along that I was his brother because he had heard my mum and Phil arguing when we were children. And you know what...I don’t blame him for hating me.” Josh stood up and kissed her lightly on her cheek. “It’s quite late and it’s been a long day. Let’s go to bed.”
Maria seemed to hesitate.
“Do you want me to leave the room whilst you get changed?” he asked. But she shook her head and slowly stood up. Josh turned round and pretended to fiddle with his phone as she quickly changed into her nightwear and got into bed, pulling the sheets up to her neck. He sensed her discomfort and decided to be frank with her, “Would you prefer that I sleep in the other bedroom? I can give you some space.... Or I can stay here if you want me to.”
“Stay, I don’t want to be on my own. I’ll be fine.”
Josh lay beside her, cradling her close to him, “We will get through this. It will be better in the morning; everything looks brighter in the morning.”
Watched
The shrill ring of his phone penetrated his deep slumber. It had been a restful night and Maria had had no nightmares, in fact she was still fast asleep on his shoulder. Josh gently moved his arm and quickly grabbed the ringing phone, hoping that she would continue resting for a little while longer, even though it was already eleven in the morning he realised with a start. They had both caught up with some much-needed sleep.
“Oh hello sweetheart,” he whispered as he heard his daughter’s voice, “Mummy’s still asleep. Hold on, I just need to go out of the room.” And he stealthily got out of bed and made for the door. But Maria called him. He gave her the phone and sank back in bed, vigorously rubbing his hands across his face to dispel those last remnants of sleep. He listened to the vibrant conversation and he was pleased to see her looking so much happier that morning, and she even managed a good joke.
“We should probably go over to Kemmuna for a while,” she told him as she gave him back the phone. “They are enjoying their time there. I still remember the glorious Mediterranean summer when I was their age. We would leave wet and windy England behind for more than a month and dad would take us swimming and snorkelling all day long. In the evening we would feast upon a gigantic plate of barbecued meat, just like little Roman gluttons. Oh, those Mediterranean summers were sacred, the highlight of the entire year, better than Christmas. And apparently Max has stepped into my father’s shoes and is giving our children that same treat.” There was this sparkle in her eyes.
“We can join them as soon as you feel up to it. We really need a good holiday now.”
A worrying thought crept into her mind, “Are the kids safe? Do you think Freddie will do anything to them?”
“They will be all right. There are two of Marco’s men there just in case. This must be their best assignment ever, just watching a couple of kids whilst basking in the Mediterranean sun. But on the other hand, I’m sure that Nick is turning their peaceful holiday into pure hell.”
The phone rang once more; it was Nick wanting to have a word with his mother. Josh handed her the phone and listened to her second bubbly conversation. She smiled as she hung up. Her children always made her feel better. She was still holding the phone when it started ringing again.
“I bet it’s Ben now,” she laughed as she put the phone to her ear.
“Maria.” Freddie’s voice broke with emotion. “Please forgive me.” He was crying now. “I need you Maria. I really needed to talk to you and I just grabbed the opportunity when I saw the phone in your hand. We used to be so good together, but I let my rage ruin it all. Please, give us another chance. It will be different next time, I promise.”
“There won’t be a next time, stay away from me.” She was shaking violently. Josh looked at her, not grasping what was going on and still thinking that it was Ben on the other side of the line. He quickly grabbed the phone back.
“Damn, here comes the knight in shining armour again,” Freddie said before Josh had a chance to utter a single word.
“How did you know I took the ...?” Josh was baffled but a part of his brain was already processing the information. His eyes quickly scanned the room.
“That’s right Josh. You are not the only one who sets up surveillance cameras in people’s houses. It was there from the very start, just after the twins were born. I have watched you every single day, every time you had sex with her, which I can tell you happens way too often. You just can’t keep your hands to yourself or your pants zipped up.”
“She’s my wife, you sick maniac. I never force her into anything,” Josh hissed as he grabbed the trembling Maria in his arms and dashed out of the room. He felt better now that he was not being watched, or was he? Was there another camera in the lounge? He frantically looked around him.
But Freddie continued, “Now why did you go out of the room, I was having so much fun seeing your horrified face. I should have set one up in the lounge, but most of the action seemed to have occurred in the bedroom, so I didn’t miss much. Anyway, you would have known about the camera soon enough, the police must have unearthed all the CDs by now. Haven’t they contacted you yet? Well, they are probably too busy amusing themselves as they watch every single one of them. There’s a lot of sexy stuff to go through.”
Josh sank on the sofa, lost for words, totally horrified, holding the trembling Maria on his lap.
“Now Josh, I did not like the way you sneaked out of the chalet, after all I only left to get some medications for your pretty wife. But there is always a next time and I will look forward to that. Please inform her that I will come back for her some day or another. She belongs to me, Josh, I saved her life and a part of me loves her too. You really should share with your brother.”
“You are deeply disturbed and sick. Please seek medical help. This is pure madness. I will not press charges if you give yourself up and go through the necessary treatment.”
But Freddie laughed and hung up.
Josh sprang into action, completely ignoring his wife’s questions but still holding her tightly on his lap. His first call was to Marco who was still across the road. Josh asked him to come over as soon as possible. He then phoned Inspector Williams, the police detective in charge of the whole case.
“You are totally worthless. More than two weeks have passed and Freddie is still out there. I have just had a threatening phone call from him; you should have been tracking his bloody phone. And when were you going to tell me about the CDs? I will give you one hour to hand them over to me, every single one of them... I don’t care if they are police evidence and are kept with all the security of the crown jewels. They belong to me and my wife. Now you know what kind of sick maniac we have to deal with... I told you I don’t care. I want them now and I will personally sue you if any one of them finds its way to the press. Can I make myself any clearer than that? ...Right, and when you do come you can also make yourself useful and find that damned camera.”
Josh flung his phone on the coffee table. He gently placed the bewildered Maria on the sofa and went into their bedroom and grabbed some of her clothes. He gave them to her.
“You can change in the kids’ bedroom. You are not to go in our bedroom because Freddie has been watching our every move.” He could see the sheer horror spreading across her face.
“How long?” she asked with dread.
“From the very start, when we came back with the twins. I’m so sorry.” Josh ran his fingers through his hair, hating himself more than ever. “I was never good for you and I knew that. I should have saved you back there in the park and then backed away from you. You would have patched it up with Rob, your safer option. Without me in the equation, Freddie would not have become so insanely obsessed and none of this madness would have occurred.”
; “Don’t ever say that again. I love you and I would rather die a thousand times than opt out of my life with you. Please stop tormenting yourself.” She was the comforter now as she tenderly kissed his tortured face. He was rapidly crumbling down and she tried desperately to keep him together. But he gently shoved her away and pushed her clothes in her hands.
“Go and change, Marco will be here in five minutes.” He sat back on the sofa. He had to leave her for her own good, for her own survival, but not now. He couldn’t abandon her when she was still traumatised after that demeaning ordeal. He’ll take her back to England, build up her confidence again and settle her back with Rob, and then he’ll disappear. Freddie would be satisfied by just splitting them apart. He closed his eyes...
........He was in their perfect English cottage, the same mythical place he had taken her to when he had made love to her for the first time. But it was time for their fairytale to end. He had to leave her and his children behind without any explanations or goodbyes. Maria will stretch her hand out to his side of their bed expecting to cuddle against him, like she always did in the early hours of the morning, but this time she will find their divorce papers lying on his pillow.
It was the only way to completely obliterate that cliff dream; he could not take any more chances with her life. He looked at her sleeping peacefully and his heart broke as he closed the door on her...
.......two years must have passed from that day he left. She had somehow managed to get an invitation to one of the Oscar ceremonies. He saw her tearful face amongst the sea of people as he gave his thanks to the producers. She was probably remembering the many times he had publicly declared his love for her on that very stage. But he did not do that this time; he just gave thanks to the people he didn’t really care about. He left the crowded hall straight after his speech. He opened the car door and threw the newly acquired Oscar on the back seat. Then he felt her hand on his arm.
The Blake Soul Page 23
