by Shayla Black
“That day isn’t coming,” I yell through the door to her, but they’re empty words. “I’ll see you during Christmas break. And we won’t talk about this then—or ever.”
When I shove my way out of the house and drive off into the night, I’m not relieved. In fact, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve just made the worst mistake of my life.
1
Four years later
Perrie didn’t come home for Christmas that year. Or visit at all the following summer. There was always an amazing trip with a roommate, a really important internship she couldn’t miss, or another class to take. I knew Dan talked to Perrie regularly. He even flew back East a few times to visit her. A couple months ago he attended her graduation. But she never returned to Phoenix. Worse, she never spoke to me in those long four years, even the time I broke down and called a few weeks after her departure.
I’ve missed her like hell and spent years second-guessing the way I acted that final, terrible night. A million times, I wondered what would have happened if I had taken her to bed, plucked her innocence, and made her promises for the future I wish we were planning together even now. I’ll never know.
Tonight, she’s finally coming home.
“Thanks for being here.” Dan claps me on the shoulder with one hand while slipping me a cold beer with the other.
I tried to beg off this family reunion to save my sanity by pointing out that Perrie is his only child and they should spend this precious time together. He merely insisted that I’m like family and that he wants us all together.
“My pleasure.” As lies go, it’s a whopper.
“I’m excited Perrie is on her way home. I can’t wait to hear her big announcement.”
I’ve got a bad feeling about it. She was always the kind of girl who shouted good things from the rooftops. Her social media should be loaded with this stuff. So not even giving her father a hint makes me nervous as hell.
Forcing a smile, I clap him on the back. “She’s probably landed an amazing job. No surprise, right? She went to a top-notch school, graduated summa cum laude, and has made a million connections, I’m sure.”
“I’m really proud of her.” His smile falters into something melancholy. “Sometimes, I look back and regret all the time I spent working instead of being with her, especially after her mother left. But she always had you. That meant the world to both of us.”
“She’s a special girl.” It’s one of the few things I can say that won’t give away how horribly I’ve missed Perrie and how the hole she left in my heart has just about killed me.
From the family room, we both hear the slam of a car door. I drag in a breath and clutch my beer can so tightly it nearly crumples in my fist. I have no idea what I’ll say to her.
Dan turns and marches for the front door. “That should be Perrie.”
Fuck, I have to keep it together. I can’t grab her, jerk her into my arms, and kiss her. I can’t confess how fucking much I’ve missed her in my life. I especially don’t dare whisper that she’s still number one in my spank bank, which I frequent because real sex with random women is always a disappointment.
None of them is Perrie.
But if there’s any hope for us, I won’t find out how she feels by hiding out with my cold one in the next room, so I follow Dan.
When I walk into the foyer, it isn’t Dan’s daughter coming through the door, suitcase in hand. Instead, I see a man in his mid-twenties wearing a charcoal business suit that clearly costs a small fortune. His slight build, pale skin, and smooth, manicured hands tell me he’s a well-paid desk jockey.
“Who are you?” He definitely doesn’t resemble any rideshare driver I’ve ever had.
The guy sets a black suitcase aside and thrusts his hand in my direction. “Derek Kingston. You must be Hayden.”
“Yeah.” Should I know this guy? “Good to meet you.”
As he shakes my hand, he smiles. “I’ve heard all about you.”
His raised brow tells me not all of it is good.
I scowl. “I’m sorry. How do you know Perrie?”
“Are you her boyfriend?” a beaming Dan asks.
“She didn’t tell you?”
An instant later, Perrie comes through the door and wraps her hand around Derek’s arm. It’s impossible to miss the giant teardrop-shaped diamond on the ring finger of her left hand.
She’s engaged?
“We’re getting married. I wanted to surprise everyone.” She sends her father a too-cheery smile and presses a kiss to his cheek.
She hasn’t once looked my way.
“I’m definitely surprised.” Dan nods, seeming to take it all in.
Join the club. Less than sixty seconds ago, I was bracing to set eyes on Perrie again…and trying to figure out what to do about her stranglehold on my heart. This new development makes it obvious that worry is moot.
“I didn’t know you were even dating anyone,” Dan adds.
Perrie laughs too quickly. I know her sounds and expressions. She’s a bundle of nerves. “Now you do. Honestly, it happened quickly. We met three months ago through mutual friends and…one thing led to another.”
Three months ago?
“That seems fast,” I remark.
She finally looks my way. “In my experience, when you wait on love, it usually passes you by.”
Clearly, Perrie can still deliver a zinger.
She’s also more beautiful—and fuckable—than ever. The pixie cut she once had is a long-distant memory, replaced by dark waves that flow to the middle of her back. The sheer pink shade on her full lips and the dusting of brown shadow on her eyes only accent her stunning features. Her cheeks still have a hint of girlish fullness that makes her look oh so sweet. But she’s got this new air of confidence that’s alluring as hell.
Lust seizes my breath. My blood courses. My skin feels tight and hot. It takes everything I’ve got not to grab her, hold her, kiss her, and remind her how close we were and how much closer we could be—if she weren’t planning to marry someone else.
Derek wraps his arm around Perrie’s waist possessively. “Well said, darling.”
It takes all my restraint not to beat the shit out of him.
Dan smiles proudly. “Why don’t you two come in and sit? We’ll have a drink and you can tell Hayden and me all about your wedding plans.”
I’d rather have all my teeth ripped out with pliers, but as everyone adjourns to the living room, I maneuver myself between Perrie and her fiancé. “I didn’t get to say hello.”
I drop my hand on her shoulder. That single touch pings need through me as her soft gasp reaches my ears. Then she zips her stare to me, sharp and startled.
There’s the awareness we shared four years ago. Perrie still feels it.
“Hi, Hayden.” She backs away from me with a tight smile and sticks out her hand.
Oh, princess. We’re way past a handshake…
But I slide my palm against hers because I need to feel her out. Not up—though I’m dying to do that, too. But I’ve got to decide if I’m going to let Perrie be the one who got away…or if I’m going to fight to win her back.
I give her hand a tug, sending her tumbling against me. Our chests collide. I encircle her waist with an unyielding arm. When our gazes meet, she blinks, turns tense, holds her breath. Her nipples turn so hard they’re impossible not to notice.
Yeah, she’s not immune to me—not even a little.
Repressing a smile, I reach under her hair, wrap my fingers around her nape, and press my lips to the shell of her ear. “I’ve missed you.”
She shivers and softens against me. “Missed you, too.”
I hate to let her go after Perrie’s gratifying whisper, but I have to—at least for now. As much as I want her, I also want what’s best for her. Is there any chance that’s Derek?
“Come sit with me, darling.” Her fiancé grabs her hand and leads her to the sofa, setting her in the corner, as far from me as possible.
&
nbsp; I can’t fault his instincts…
When Dan sits in the recliner closest to them, I take the love seat on the other side of the room. From here, I can study Perrie’s face, Derek’s behavior, and their interaction.
She settles stiffly next to the man she intends to marry. They don’t touch…until Derek grabs her hand.
“I wanted to meet you in person, Mr. Atkins, and officially ask you for Perrie’s hand first.” He gives us an aw-shucks smile. “But I just couldn’t wait. This girl is one of a kind.”
Dan looks pleased by Derek’s praise. I’m not. He’s only stating the obvious.
“I understand,” my friend and business partner says. “Tell me more about you.”
He’s not going to grill this guy about why he’s rushing Perrie to the altar?
“Well, I’m co-CEO of an environmental tech company. A buddy of mine and I started the firm, and we’re moving our headquarters to Seattle next month…”
As Derek drones on, I get irritated. Not only does he sound like a self-important asshole, but I realize he intends to take Perrie far away again. Deep down, I’d held out hope that she’d come back to Phoenix after graduation…
“What do you think of Seattle?” I ask her.
She shrugs. “I haven’t been yet. Derek says it’s amazing…”
So he doesn’t care if she likes where they’ll live?
“What will you do there?”
“I’m sure she’ll find a job,” Derek answers for her. “She’s so smart and charming. There are lots of great start-ups and little women-owned businesses where she could make a difference.”
Maybe he doesn’t mean it, but the douche sounds condescending. Perrie will make a splash wherever she’s employed, not just in “little” corners of the workplace. Besides, none of that sounds like they’ll fulfill the dreams Perrie expressed before she left for school. “Princess?”
She shrugs. “I’ll figure it out. It’s a big city with a healthy economy…”
And a lot of rain. She’s always loved the desert’s heat, sun, and stark beauty. To her, storms ruin a gorgeous blue sky. And Derek wants to take her to one of the rainiest cities in the country.
Does he know her at all?
Sure, she might be willing to make that sacrifice if she really loves him. But the way she seems reluctant to look at the guy, much less touch him, leads me to wonder if she does.
“Well, that all sounds wonderful,” Dan says when Derek finally shuts up. “Are you excited, Perrie?”
“Thrilled.”
She doesn’t sound like it. I’m calling bullshit.
“So was your engagement your big announcement, princess?” I ask her directly because I don’t want Asshole thinking I’m talking to him.
“Part of it.” She swallows nervously, then finally cuts me a sidelong stare. The flare of awareness when our eyes meet shows all over her face. Then she turns to Dan and squeezes his hand. “We’d actually like to get married here, with your permission.”
“I’d love that.” Dan looks like a pleased, proud father.
I want to throw up. “When?”
She hesitates. “Saturday.”
In six fucking days? That’s how long I have to see if tying herself to Derek would be the biggest mistake of her life and stop her?
“Oh, wow. Well…” Dan rubs his hands together. “We have a lot of planning to do, then. How about we sit down to dinner, and you can tell me what you’re envisioning.”
While Perrie’s father wastes his time with that, I’ll figure out how to get her alone so I can hear her side of this clusterfuck—without her fiancé butting in.
Perrie
Hayden can see right through me; I’m sure of it.
I escaped the tension of the dinner table to do the dishes, but I’m still a nervous wreck. Hayden glared at Derek throughout the entire meal. I know the million and one reasons my fiancé doesn’t like my childhood crush. And my father seems oblivious to the undercurrents.
Could this get any more awkward?
Unfortunately, yes. If Hayden discovers my secret, it will be a hundred times worse.
As I tuck the last of the silverware into the dishwasher and slam the door shut, I wonder if I’ve made the right choice. Maybe I should explain everything. But I run the risk of shocking and disappointing my father. Ugh, I can’t deal with that now. After eight hours of travel and one of the most stressful evenings in memory, I’m beat.
Thank goodness my father and Derek were gung ho to scout out the backyard for the perfect ceremony site—and that Hayden seems completely focused on dissecting my fiancé. I don’t expect that to last. He’ll soon turn his attention on me, and then…I’m almost afraid to ask.
I’d been hoping I wouldn’t feel any of this crazy lovesickness when I set eyes on him. But now it’s painfully clear that I’ll have to deal with these nagging feelings until Saturday—just like I’ve done for the past four years.
“Perrie.”
Speak of the devil.
“Hayden.” I don’t look at him as he saunters into the kitchen, his stare glued to me. Unfortunately, I can’t shake the certainty that I’m transparent. Please don’t let him see my heart shivering and naked in front of him. “What’s up?”
He takes hold of my left hand—jolting me with his touch—and stares at my engagement ring. It’s huge and not at all what I would have picked. Even under the kitchen lights, it both sparkles and screams that I’m someone’s woman—which is exactly what Derek wanted.
Without a word, Hayden releases my hand and pins me with the sort of stare that makes me squirm. “Tell me what you’re doing.”
“What does it look like? I’m doing the dishes.”
“Don’t play dumb. Three months, princess? What’s your rush? And don’t give me that one-thing-led-to-another bullshit. You’re not usually impulsive.”
“I appreciate your concern, but Derek is great. Don’t worry.”
He scowls. “Did you think that script would work with me? It makes Dan and his daddy-guilt feel better to believe you, but I’m going to be a tougher sell. Do you love him?”
God, he’s more direct than I remember.
I reach for the dirty pans. “Pass me the dish soap, please.”
Heaving a frustrated sigh, Hayden grabs my shoulders. “The fucking dishes will wait until we’ve talked.”
He’s too close. I can’t take it.
I wrench away and shake my head. “You don’t get to do this. I gave you an opportunity—”
“You were too young.”
“That didn’t make what I felt any less real. But if you think you can swoop in four years later and take me up on my stupid offer now that I’m ‘old enough,’ you’re sorely mistaken.”
“Does he make you happy?”
“Derek has been so good to me. And for me.” It’s the truth.
“Are you kidding? He fucking patronized you. He made your career seem like something cute and barely worth his notice. That can’t be okay with you. I know you way too well to believe that.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Maybe you don’t,” he argues as he advances on me again. Backed into the kitchen, the stove behind me, I have nowhere to go. “You deserve someone who’s so proud of you he’s willing to shout your praises. Hell, you deserve a man who worships you. I don’t think that’s him.”
“It’s not you, either, so it’s none of your business.”
“What if I make it my business?”
My heart stops. “What does that mean?”
“Can you look me in the eye and tell me you love this man?”
“I love Derek.”
Hayden grinds his teeth as he scrutinizes my expression, taking me apart second by second.
What if he really can see through me?
“Does he make you breathless as a lover? Are you eager to marry him? Do you want to have his children? Are you in that kind of love with him? Because so far, I’m not buying it.”
&
nbsp; “Why can’t you stop playing twenty questions, congratulate me, and let it go?”
The smile that plays at his lips makes me nervous as hell. “One reason: I think you still have feelings for me. And you know what? I’ll come clean. I wanted you back then, too. That hot-as-fuck kiss has haunted me since you left, and if you’d had any idea how close I was to tossing you on your bed and being the first—and last—man inside you, it would have scared the hell out of you.”
My heart chugs in my chest, and I cross my arms to hide my trembling. “Why tell me now?”
“Because I don’t think you and I are through.”
I shake my head. “I’m getting married.”
“I know you think so. But I want to see just how attached you are to him.”
He charges into my personal space and seizes my face in his hands, his lips hovering a breath above my own. We pant. Our breaths mingle. He’s so, so close…
Oh, god, Hayden is going to kiss me. I’m ashamed to admit how desperately I want it.
The slamming of the back door and the rumble of Derek’s voice blending with my father’s sends me wrenching from his arms. “Leave me alone.”
He curses softly, then holds up his hands as if he’s giving up. “For now.”
But I know better. Once Hayden decides he wants something, he’ll stop at nothing to take it. He will come at me relentlessly until I get married…or get weak.
God help me.
2
Hayden
Over the next couple of days, Perrie is gone more than she’s around. I can’t decide if she’s hurriedly dashing here and there to whip this wedding together or to avoid me.
Either way, it hasn’t escaped my notice that Derek hasn’t lifted a finger to help her to plan their nuptials.
Lazy asshole. If I were marrying her…
But I can’t go there. That thought only drives me insane.
The bottom line is, I don’t like it—and I don’t like him. Am I jealous that he’s had the woman I’m aching for? Sure. But he’s also a jerk, holing himself up in the study and pounding on his laptop, phone seemingly glued to his ear. Does he think he’s too important to help her? I don’t get what she sees in this guy.
