by Darcy Burke
How could she feel such pleasure and wanting, but at the same time, feel an overpowering need to cry? As Devon brought her closer to the abyss, tears welled and threatened to flow forth. Her hands grasped at Devon's shirtsleeves while they trembled with the need for contact. She heard herself moaning and coaxing Devon on, but wasn't aware she was consciously involved. Ella was no longer herself, as all thought ceased. A large warm hand reached up and cradled her right breast rolling the nipple with an expert touch between his fingers. A dagger of white-hot need ripped through her and made her lean into him for more.
She realized at some point that she had weaved her fingers in his hair at her apex. Looking down on the scene gave another aspect to her sensations. As his ministrations increased, she felt the pressure in her hands holding him to her, or was she holding herself to the spot? Faster it built until she thought she might expire. The feeling so overwhelming, she would have stopped him, had she been able to speak at will. Instead, Ella gripped Devon's shoulders and held on, lest she fly off into the heavens. Desire exploded within her as he brought her to release. The all-encompassing sensation brought with it four years of loss, pain, and wanting. As the tears streamed down her cheeks, she was thankful for the darkness of the larder. Devon breathed just as heavily as she did, resting his head in the folds of the dress now bunched at her waist, his arms around her.
Ella couldn't help reaching down and running her hand over his face and into his hair. She loved the weight of him, the sturdiness of his arms around her, grounding her. His brow was damp, but smooth to her touch. Each strand of hair was soft and the curls wound around her fingers. Ella's heart clenched, making her chest tight. Four years ago, she did not allow herself such behavior for fear of being lost in it. The intimacy of this one act was almost more than what they had just done. Ella was in certain danger.
After a moment, she realized the exchange had been one sided. "Devon, aren't you going to take your pleasure?" she asked, preparing for him to move at any moment and finish the job.
"If I did that, I would have to move and I am quite happy where I am," he stated, snuggling in further.
"I'm not strongly versed in the ways of men and women, but isn't the point to bring you to completion?" she asked, sure that it was her job to make sure he was satisfied.
"This was not about me," was his only answer.
"But--" Ella tried to protest.
"Ella, be quiet. You are ruining the moment," he said with a smile in his voice belaying the command as an order. "Four years ago, you gave yourself to me, without any expectation on your part. I am returning the favor."
Ella decided not to push the matter. She liked him lounging on her body thus, but by persisting, it would break the spell. She decided just to try to take in as much as she could to help get her through the lonely nights once he left.
After several minutes, the cool dampness of the larder began to seep into her bones and reality of where they were weighed on her embarrassment. Devon must have felt her body tense, because without saying a word, he rose and helped put her back to rights. The moon had risen in the sky and sent some slight rays into the darkness, so Ella could see the look of satisfaction on Devon's face. Then, his expression changed to one of concern. Did he see the tear streaks on her face? If he did, he reorganized his thoughts and allowed her privacy.
"Now, what was it you wanted me to do with the cinnamon?" he asked with a devilish smirk. Ella cleared the emotion from her throat and resumed giving him orders. Once they finished organizing what they could in the darkness, she led him into the kitchen and back into reality.
"Thank you," Ella said, knowing her gesture was sincere on many levels. In the brighter light of the kitchen, embarrassment crept in.
"You are welcome. I believe I am becoming a fan of chores like organizing the larder. You have made me a convert," he intoned with a good bit of humor. "Now, it is late and I must leave you to your bed. You, my love, must rise with the dawn. I look forward to seeing you again in the next few days." He walked up to Ella and kissed her on the temple, remaining there long enough to make the gesture something wholly not innocent. With that, he made his way to the door and the night beyond, leaving Ella and her frayed, raw nerves, to deal with themselves. If she only had a few days to steel herself against that, she knew she held the losing hand and was already trying to remember why she cared.
Chapter 8
From behind the tapestry drape in the outer room, Ella heard what she knew was going to be the end of her peaceful, normal day. She had not seen or heard from Devon for three days. Their last meeting had played prominently in her dreams of late, keeping her up and wound tight.
Unaware of her emotional turmoil, life went on as usual. She had been short on bread yesterday and rose early to make extra. The bell had nigh stopped ringing over the door, as the villagers could smell the bread. Penny had been forced to remain out front, while Maddie sat at the table close to Penny playing and taking in the hustle and bustle, leaving Ella to her thoughts as she worked on the dough in the back. She was glad to have the peace. At the sound of Devon's voice, her traitorous body however, felt differently as her stomach gave a decided flip-flop and her heart began pounding in her chest.
"Good morning, Penny," Devon's voice vibrated over her nerves, like water to a man in the desert.
"Good morning, my Lord. My Lord. did you as well hear we have fresh bread today?" Penny greeted the new comers.
"Why no, Penny, should we have?" Clive asked. Ella snuck to the doorway to listen. What the devil did they want? How could she just get them out? Not that she was surprised, she had been expecting them.
"Well," Penny giggled, "I just thought since everyone else has come to buy bread today that you may have heard and decided to partake."
"Actually," Devon interrupted, "my aunts are visiting and we thought it a good day to bring them shopping. They are more accustomed to the Capitol and its diversions."
Aunts? Devon didn't have any aunts.
"Hi," a bright little voice chimed in.
Damn, Ella had forgotten Maddie was in the front room. Her first instinct was to rush out and put Maddie behind her skirts, but she decided to wait. If he were truly interested in his daughter, she might be able to summarize as much.
"Well, good morning, Mistress Maddie." Clive answered. By the rustle of cloth, she could just see him bowing and her loving it.
"Hi," Ella had to work with her as to how a lady would greet someone she thought.
"Good morning, my lady. Has it been a fair morning thus far?" Devon's deep voice seemed filled with humor. In spite of herself, Ella smiled. He too bowed if her hearing was correct.
"Good morning. Mommy made bread. See."
"Ah, I see, and you no doubt are the lucky person to get the first slice? That was my favorite job in the kitchen. Is that honey?"
"Yes, my favorite. Try some."
"Oh, well, I–" Devon's words stopped, and Penny cut in, in a fluster.
"Oh, Maddie, you should never stick your finger in a Lord's mouth. That just isn't done, I would think."
"See, it's good." Maddie said with all seriousness, ignoring Penny's pleas to stop. Then Ella heard Devon smacking his lips together in a very loud way and the whole company laughing.
"Yes, My Lady. I believe that is the best honey I have ever tasted. I am thinking that your dainty finger added to the sweetness however. Honey could never truly be that sweet without a little help." Everyone laughed. Ella wished she were out there to see Maddie beaming. Her heart beat faster if that was possible. Damn the man for being so foolish to entertain a child.
"Who's that?" Maddie asked in a loud whisper.
"Those are Lord Renwick's aunts. They are visiting. Would you like me to introduce you?" Clive answered.
Ella had forgotten about the aunts until Maddie brought them up. Without thinking, she swept through the curtain, and locked eyes with LePrin. It was all she could do to hold back the wail that caught in her throat. Her
feet were held to the floorboards by sheer force of will, for they wanted to fly into her arms and weep like she had as a young girl. LePrin's embrace always made things seem more manageable. Her mother's death, her father's cruel words, even those nights when there was not enough food, LePrin would find a way. To Ella, LePrin was the one person who kept her alive during those dark days. She had wept for days when the decision had been made to leave without her. The one person she allowed herself to admit to missing. She was the only servant to her family and took on the role of mother on top of cook, housekeeper, etc. She had cried silently, again in the carriage as it drove them toward Scotland, but she had known LePrin's place was with Devon at The Tate. She knew he would see to her care and not turn her out. Tears sprang to her burning eyes threatening to flow free. She had wanted for so long to share Maddie's life with her, ask her questions about mothering. She longed to be enfolded into LePrin's embrace, but realized she was not an ally now, but an asset to Devon and his plan to win her over. Ella bit back the emotion and buried it as best she could. There would be time, but not now.
Standing next to her Devon's head housekeeper, Flick. They too had become very close in the short time Ella resided at The Tate. Flick had been Devon's nursemaid and remained employed by the family, but when Devon took the title, he promoted her to head housekeeper. Flick tried, but was unable to handle the duties well, due to her kind nature. Once Ella was moved into the Tate by order of His Lordship, Ella helped establish Flick and weed out some troublesome employees for her, while Flick helped Ella learn things about her soon to be husband that she would need to understand him, and begin to fall in love. She owed Flick a debt of gratitude for making her feel like she had some control for once in her life. Both women looked surprised, but not surprised enough. While Clive introduced the women as Lady LePrin and Lady Flick, Ella sought out Devon's face. It was unreadable. He looked at her as one would look at a competitor across a whist table. He was giving away nothing, and that scared her.
"My Ladies, welcome to our tiny village. Will you be staying long?" Ella found her voice making it sound steady, and not giving away her frayed emotions. Damn Devon for his machinations. First by making her heady with his love making, now bringing those in her past that would impact his side the most, she now understood how so many had lost to him at the tables. He plays to win.
"Well, my aunts have no obligations to tear them away anytime in the near future. They have always doted on me." Devon answered with a wicked smile. Sending shivers down her spine and heat rising to her face. From his expression, he knew.
Dratted man.
"Penny, would you take Maddie to the back and wash her up."
"No, please," LePrin all but pleaded. It was enough to bring tears back to Ella's eyes. Devon again stepped in with an explanation.
"I apologize for my aunt, but you see, she lost a loved one not too long ago. Miss Maddie holds a strong liking to that person. I am sure she brings back fond memories for them."
Penny hovered waiting for instruction. "Just bring a wet cloth in to clean the honey off, please. Thank you, Penny."
"She looks just like–" Flick began to say, but was stopped by Clive, who all but shoved a fresh roll into her mouth.
"Don't you just enjoy bread when it is still warm?" He asked.
"So, my Lord, what is it I can get for your party today?" Ella knew she had no choice but to play along.
"Well, I am in need of another bag of those peppermints. In fact, make it two bags." Devon played along. Both moved away from the group over to the large glass canister containing the bright pink and green candies.
"Just what is it you are playing at?" Ella hissed, as she drove the scoop into the candies. The smell of peppermint so strong it stung her eyes.
"You will soon learn, my Lady, I don't play for what I am not determined to win," he said with a bland aristocratic look on his face. "How can I possibly win a bet when I am not allowed to prove the terms?"
"So, you mean to use the only two women I care for against me? That is gentlemanly behavior for certain," she spat.
Ella all but felt the blood drain from her face. He truly meant to go through with the bet. He wanted to prove he would make the perfect father and husband. From behind Devon, the ladies and Maddie were talking and laughing. He was going to use LePrin against her. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes to quiet her thoughts and emotions. She couldn't blame LePrin. Devon had seen to her care when Ella left, and she did leave her behind.
"I am not a wolf about to gobble you whole, Ella. I simply want to prove I am not your father." His voice was so close she could feel his warm, honey tinged breath on her face. When she opened her eyes, he had moved in close, taking her space away and replacing it with his existence. At that moment, she was feeling very much like a tiny little morsel of food for a hungry wolf. He had even separated her from her pack as it were.
"Hmm, you might not be a wolf, sir, but there are many more dangerous creatures lurking about, aren't there? I will not let you have her. She belongs with her mother. I will not allow two women who are obligated to you for your charity to sway my decisions." Ella tried to keep her voice down, but it was costing her a great deal of her patience. She had no reason for the rising panic and fear, save her need to protect Maddie at all cost. It had nothing to do with her fear of being left alone in this world.
"I was hoping to gain the pot at the end of this round, but we shall see. Let's just play out this hand, before we call, shall we?"
"Are these lemon tarts?" Asked LePrin in surprise.
Ella gave what she hoped was one last withering stare in Devon's direction and turned to the woman she never thought she would see again. She wanted to touch her to make sure she was there, but with Penny standing by and many villagers still bustling about outside, she couldn't. "Yes, those are lemon tarts. They were the specialty of the woman who taught me to cook many years ago. They are still my favorite, though not as good as hers."
"I would like two dozen," Clive intoned. "If the ladies are wont of something they shall get it." Ella had noticed Flick standing back watching Devon and Maddie. Devon had put the mints in his pocket and Maddie had found her way to his side. She was busy pilfering his pocket for a few mints. Devon stood trying to appear unaware of the little pick pocket. Flick watched with eyes full of emotion. She must see the boy he was in his child. Ella knew she could see him whenever she looked at her daughter.
"Well, my Lords, my Ladies, thank you for patronizing my bakery. I hope you will see it to your liking and visit again before you leave." If she could just get them out. She didn't know why, but knew it had to be now.
"I have a wonderful notion," Flick, who had remained silent thus far, spoke up. Ella got the impression she hadn't agreed to whatever Devon wanted, until now. "I would love to have the opportunity to get to know Miss Maddie better and I am sure you do not need a young child hanging about with all the work you must have every day. I believe it would be advantageous to all if we were to have Maddie brought to the Manor house every day for the extent of our stay. We can have a grand time together and you then, would be able to get your work completed. I am sure Lord Breakerton could send someone to fetch her and return her every day."
The room had gone silent. Penny's eyes were huge as Ella scanned the room. Panic thick with fear filled her throat. Was Devon attempting to steal her? Would he do such a thing? If he got her back to England, she wouldn't have any legal recourse. Her breathing began to pick up. Just as she would have grabbed Maddie and fled from the room, and the country LePrin put her hand on her arm.
"Child, I promise you will not lose her. She will be returned to you every evening. I can imagine how precious she is to you. I too had a child in my life that reminded me of someone I cared deeply about. You have my promise. Is that not enough?" Ella looked into eyes she had thought lost to her forever. She looked at Devon and his unreadable expression had been replaced by one of misery. Did he realize her fear? Did he care that
she didn't trust him? But, she did trust him. She knew deep down he wouldn't just take Maddie. She wasn't sure where her certainty came from, but it was there none-the-less.
"All right," she said in a quiet voice, "I will have Eric bring her in the mornings, and I will arrive to pick her up when I close the bakery. That will give you most of the day. Is that sufficient?" Ella's voice was quiet and resigned. She knew she was about to lose something, and hoped it wasn't herself. Devon had won this hand.
"Yes, that is perfect! What do you think of that Maddie? Would you like to come visit us at the manor house while we are staying there?" Asked Flick who had been holding the child's hand.
"Do you have cakes? And milk?" she asked. "I like cakes and milk."
"Of course, we will have cakes and milk. As much as you would like," answered Clive.
"So will you come?" Asked Flick.
"Yup," answered Maddie, and then went to steal just a few more mints before their departure.
As the odd group filed out, Devon brushed by Ella and placed something in her hand. Once they left, she saw it was a scrap of paper with the words 'thank you' written with charcoal. If winning wasn't enough, he had to stack the deck for the next hand.
