by Jessica Joy
You are safe here. You both are. He can’t get you, can’t find you. You are safe here… for now.
I shake the dark thoughts from my mind before I walk into the living room, not wanting to ruin tonight by getting lost down that black hole. Sawyer is sitting on the couch with his feet resting on the ottoman, Evan standing up on his outstretched legs and holding his hands. The two are having an animated discussion interspersed with Sawyer pulling silly faces at Evan, making him let out his perfect belly laugh. The sight causes the tiniest of cracks in the wall of ice around my heart.
“Oh hey,” Sawyer says while pulling face to renewed peals of laughter, “he started throwing the remains of whatever that food was, so I figured he wanted to get out and play.”
Nope, don’t you dare go there. You know where this leads, and it is no where you want to be. You won’t be here long, and it can’t last. The last thing you want is some reason to make leaving even harder. Beyond that, you don’t need a man, you don’t want a man. You know what happened last time and that cannot happen again. That is never happening again. Not even the chance of it. You don’t need anyone but Evan.
“Yeah, he does that sometimes,” I reply lamely, trying to get my thoughts in order to be at least a decent host to this seemingly kind man.
I continue to clamp down on those errant bubbly feelings and shore up the cracking walls around my heart. He is my neighbor and I am only repaying him for helping around the house. That’s it. Who cares if he is good with Evan? Who cares if he brought the sweetest gift in the history of ever for my son out of the blue after only meeting him once? Who cares if he looks like every woman’s wet dream? And absolutely who cares if he smells all clean, and rough and hot? Who cares? Shit… I’m pretty sure I do.
An hour and a half later, we are sitting on a blanket spread out in the living room, eating our pizza “picnic style” in front of the TV with Evan spread out between us drinking his bottle with his feet. We are leaning back against the couch having a heated debate over what movie to watch. A debate I am determined to win.
“Buzz and Woody are without a doubt the best bromance! The enemies to friends’ journey and how they work together at the end of the movie? True brotherhood. Every little man needs to watch and learn from those toys.”
“What?! You’re crazy. Cogsworth and Lumiere are absolutely the better bromance. They are the perfect bitchy older gay couple. They love each other deep down but are annoyed to no end by everything the other one does but still humor one another. It’s rather beautiful actually.”
“What the hell are you talking about? A clock and a candelabra are gay icons now? Did you fall and hit your head? Fine. I have a better one anyway.”
“Aww, the cat-fighting gay couple hit a little too close to home with you and Goldilocks? Whatcha’ got, you social justice warrior, you?” I say with an eye roll.
“Not even gonna ask about the Goldilocks comment. Not sure my ego can take it at the moment. So, Moving on to the most epic bromance of all… Miguel and Tulio. Nothing, and no one, can beat those con men. Their love is pure, lyrical, and perfect,” he says dramatically mimicking a vigorous lute strum but a little less confident than before.
“I’ll give you the fact that they are wonderful. I even concede they win Best Bromance Overall Award. But that’s not what we were talking about. Technically they’re not Disney, they’re DreamWorks, so they don’t qualify for the ‘Best Disney Bromance’ category,” checkmate motherfucker, a smug grin lands on my face.
“Are you serious? You’re gonna get that technical with me? Dear Christ woman. Fine. Mr. Incredible and Frozone. You can’t tell me you wouldn’t go gaga for a buddy cop flick with the two of them from their prime crime fighting days,” He says leaning back, clearly thinking he’s pinned me down.
“Only if Edna is in there somewhere. Edna gives me life. But fine, that’s a damn good one. Although, how can we forget the classic and maybe truest bromance… Timon and Pumba.”
“Touché. It takes a damn good bromance to pull off singing about farting and dancing the hula in drag. Fine. I concede Best Disney Bromance, but I still claim my Spanish boys take the title of Overall Best so… technically I still win. I can accept that,” he says with a cheeky smirk before he takes a giant bite of his pizza.
I roll my eyes at him as I queue up the Lion King on the TV and hit play. I will take my victory, even if there is a caveat to it. He lets out an audible groan as he chews his ridiculously large bite and I can’t help but look over and watch the muscles of his jaw work as he chews.
How does he even make chewing sexy?! Jesus Christ woman, get a hold of yourself you thirsty bitch!
I’d like to get a hold of something… NO! Don’t you dare! SAGGY MOTHERFUCKIN’ BALLS GODDAMNIT!
When he swallows his bite, he looks over at me with a look I can’t quite place. “Seriously woman. Best. Damn. Pizza. I have ever had. And I have an Italian momma back home who would whoop my ass for even thinking that let alone saying it.”
That damn blush creeps up my neck yet again at his words, “I’ll admit, I am pretty proud of my pizza, I use my great-grandmothers’ recipes for the dough and the sauce. My great grandfather used to say he got it from an Old Italian Nonna while he was over in Europe during The War. Who knows if it’s true, but he loved to tell the story of how he met a little old woman in a market, in Paris of all places, who took pity on his skinny little self and brought him home. She offered him a warm meal and taught him her family's secret recipe. He was so damn proud of his recipe and considered it the most important thing he could pass down. My grandmother kept the Sunday Pizza Night tradition going, and I plan on doing the same. It may be just Evan and I, but he will have some ties to our history, even if he never gets to meet any of the people in the stories,” I say quietly, looking down at the slice in my lap as I fiddle with the edge of the crust absentmindedly.
“He will know them. He’ll meet them and have memories through you. He’ll love you for that; I’m sure,” Sawyer responds. I can feel his gaze on me, but I can’t bring myself to look over at him. With a little nod I bring my pizza to my lips and take another bite, hoping we can move past this moment.
We continue to eat and watch the movie, laughing and, to my endless surprise and delight, singing along. He may not win any awards with his voice, but he could hold his own in a carpool karaoke any day. The fact he actually knows most of the words to all of the songs gives him a major bonus points in my book.
Not that I should give him bonuses… or even an entry in my book! Nope. He and his musical corkscrew cock can stay right where they are.
As the movie finishes, I get up to clean and Sawyer once again starts talking to Evan like they are having the most interesting conversation in the world.
I’m only gone a couple of minutes but when I come back into the living room I see Evan curled up on Sawyers lap, snuggled into his shoulder and digging at his face with his little fists, a clear sign my little man is ready for bed. I refuse to let myself spend any amount of time looking at or soaking in the Hallmark moment in front of me. Nope. Not one second of the sight of this hulking biker with my tiny little baby boy snuggled into him like he is the best teddy bear in the world will enter my mind or imprint in my memory.
Not a word from you, my traitorous vagina. Not one fucking WORD.
Deciding it’s dangerous to stand here and gawk a second longer, I walk up to the boys and reach out for Evan to take him from Sawyer. To my surprise Sawyer shakes his head at me and stands, motioning for me to lead the way as he shifts Evan more solidly onto his shoulder.
Well, okay then. Guess he is helping with bedtime? When the hell did I fall into the Twilight Zone? Am I even okay with this? The last thing I need is for Evan to get attached to someone right before we need to leave again. Shit! What if Evan imprints on Sawyer like the sweet little baby duckling he is and then we leave and I take Sawyer from him and then he is scarred for the rest of his life and blames me, hates me and…
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My spiraling thoughts are brought to a halt by a warm hand pressed to small of my back and the deep rumbling sound of Sawyer’s voice close to my ear.
“Relax, I’ll just bring him upstairs and help you settle him but then I’ll head out. I don’t want to get in the way of your bedtime ritual or overstay,” he whispers, his lips so close to my ear I can feel the warmth of his breath fan over my cheek.
“It’s not…” but he cuts me off.
“It’s ok. I could see the tension rolling off your body and I promise I’m not looking for anything more than you are ready to give.”
I feel my shoulders drop, not realizing how tense I was.
“I’d love the chance to see you again. Next time, dinner is on me and we’ll have an El Dorado sing along. You can school me at that one too. Sound good?” he whispers, stepping forward and catching my eyes. His gaze pins me in place with those warm bourbon eyes and feel him a warmth run over the ice around my heart. He knows he has me dammit. He gives a little chuckle and I feel his fingers flex against my spine.
“Lead the way Tess. E-Buddy’s ready to sleep.”
For the thousandth time tonight I take a steadying breath before I square my shoulders and head up the stairs with the most adorable bromance trailing behind. When we get to the nursery, Sawyer surprises me yet again by offering to help get Evan changed and ready for bed. I know he is only doing it to be polite because no way in hell does he actually want to deal with the domestic things like bedtime routines. I shoo him off downstairs and he motions that he will wait while I get Evan down.
Thankfully Evan doesn’t fight me tonight and he goes down quickly, clearly tuckered out from all the giggles. With any luck, we might actually be getting the hang of this bedtime thing. I head back downstairs and find Sawyer sitting on the couch and notice his boots are already back on like he is ready to go. Why does that make my chest hurt?
It doesn’t. It’s just heartburn. Yeah, that’s it. Not the fact that Mr. Gorgeous is leaving just as you finally have time to be alone. Not at all.
When he sees me enter the room he stands and offers me one of his pantie incinerating smiles. I can’t help but return a smile of my own as he stands and closes the distance between us. He stops just a few inches from me, his impressive height looming over me. It should feel intimidating but all I feel is an odd sense of rightness.
“So, Tessa. You ready to give into my manly charms yet?” he asks, his voice rumbling over me. I look up and meet his teasing smirk.
“Oh, those are manly charms? I wasn’t aware,” I tease back, hoping the challenge is clear in my gaze. It must have come across because his eyes soften, and his smile turns sweet and devastatingly sexy. He raises his hand and curls it around the side of my neck, leaning down until his lips brush the shell of my ear, and he whispers.
“Oh Babydoll, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”
His breath sighing over my skin and his voice washing over me sends a shiver down my spine. Sawyer must feel it too because he lets out a low chuckle and just when I think he will pull away; he presses a soft kiss to my forehead. His lips linger against my skin for a moment before he steps away and goes, closing the door behind him. Leaving me standing, stunned, in the middle of the living room.
Chapter 11
Sawyer
Three days. Three fucking days since I’ve seen her, and I’ve been suffering every minute of it. I meant to get back over there the next morning after movie night, but King called Church at 7:00 AM and since then it’s been nothing but Club business. Today’s the first chance I’ve had to slow down and catch my breath. I went to text her yesterday and realized I don’t even have her number; an oversight I will be remedying immediately.
Pulling up to the diner, still lost in thoughts of Tessa, I realize I’m twenty minutes early for the end of her shift. Fuck. I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I seriously can’t get this woman out of my mind. With a sigh I pull my bike around back and head inside to grab a cup of coffee and clear my mind a bit. I really need to clear this Club work from my head if I want to have some semblance of a good conversation.
No woman has ever rocked me back like Tessa has, she’s under my skin and I don’t know what to do about it. Never, not once, has someone seemed worth this much effort before; at least that wasn’t my own family anyway. Most last one night, maybe an encore here or there for the fantastic, but I have never wanted to seek the status of “regular” with someone before. The long game is for those with nothing happening in their lives or when you want more. What “more” is exactly, I have no clue, but I know Tessa deserves it.
She is the type you take out and then bring back to the house, not just to my room at the compound. She’s the kind you want to keep around ‘til morning so you can make breakfast and watch her prance around in nothing but your button-up.
Shit, I wonder if Gage can teach me how to make his omelets, he’s my fucking fairy-leprechaun so he has to be good for something.
Just the thought of Tessa, with her fingers wrapped around a coffee mug the next morning as her perfect round ass peeks from under my shirt makes my damn cock jump.
Fuck. Now she has me popping a chub like a goddamn high schooler again. Fuck me.
The reality behind my little daydream breaks over me like a bucket of ice water. My house. I don’t bring women to my house. Ever. I don’t even think Roxy has been inside since she showed me around in the first place. Gage all but lives in the guest room when he feels like it, and I’ve had the Brothers over now and again, but never a woman. If I’ve ever brought someone home for a night, it’s been to my room at the compound. My house is my fortress of solitude, my bat cave, my hideout. Yet the thought of adding Tessa to my secret space feels not only right but needed.
Okay, I need to get the coffee before my mind runs any farther away with me. With maybe a little more force than is absolutely necessary, I climb off my bike and stomp toward the front door of the diner. As I push through the door the smell of bacon, waffles, and coffee assaults my nose and highlights how hungry I am- a welcome distraction from my thoughts. My eyes automatically scan the room for Tessa and feel a pang of… something… when I don’t see her.
Alice waves me to an open stool at the counter on the other side of the diner, I head that way. By the time I arrive, there is a fresh mug of coffee waiting for me along with an OJ; Alice knows her clientele.
“Heya Sugar. Had a feelin’ we’d be seein’ you before too long,” Alice says, a mischievous smile on her face that I seriously don’t trust.
“Oh, you know I can’t live without your coffee Alice. Best in town,” I say, raising my mug to her.
“Sure hun. Our girl will be done in a bit. I’ll let her know you’re here,” she says with a wink before sauntering off to the kitchen. A few minutes later my attention is drawn to the swinging kitchen doors as Tessa comes breezing out in a matching style dress and apron to Alice’s. I immediately am drawn to her curving figure, the apron highlighting her shape and reminding me of a little jog on a cold day. I track her as she works her way around the counter and toward me. When she rounds the last bend of the counter and her eyes meet mine, she breaks into a shy smile and I swear she adds just a little bit more swing to her hips with her walk.
“Hey stranger. What are you doing here?” Tessa teases, stopping just before she reaches me.
“Taking you on a date woman,” I say, a grin tugging at my lips.
“Wait, what?” she asks, her smile faltering a little.
“A date. You know, where we go and do something together and god willing you enjoy yourself enough to let me steal a kiss before the night is through.”
“But… we didn’t have plans tonight,” she says, brows furrowed in confusion.
“It’s called a surprise,” I tease, leaning forward to snag her around the waist, pulling her between my legs. She lets out a little yelp and her hands come to my shoulders as my arms encircle her waist, settling just above the pleasant curve o
f her ass.
She looks at me with a bright smile, but I can see the touch of trepidation in her eyes. I know she wasn’t expecting anything quite so public from me, and hell, I wasn’t really planning it either. She sure feels right in my arms though.
“So, what do ya say Babydoll. Ready for some fun?” I say with a suggestive eyebrow raise. A mix of fear and desire plays across her features at my words and I can tell I’ll have to play my A-game to keep the concern from her eyes.
“Sawyer, as fun as a date sounds right now, I just got off work. I’ve been on my feet all day, I look like a hot mess, I stink, and all I want to do is go home and snuggle with Evan. Not to mention the fact he is home with Betha right now and I need to relieve that poor woman for the day,” she says apologetically.
“I know it’s been a long day, but I promise what I have planned will be relaxing for you. You look gorgeous as always, Evan is already taken care of, but…” I lean in closer, taking an exaggerated sniff of her shoulder. “Yeah you do smell like a burger cooked on an exhaust pipe… Good thing I brought the bike.”
“Asshole!” Tessa exclaims under her breath with a gentle slap to the shoulder. She tries to step away but I pull her a little closer, not ready to let her go quite yet.
I lean in again, pressing a tentative kiss on her cheek. “You smell delicious Babydoll,” I whisper into her ear before moving her to arm’s length and standing up. “So. Come with me?”
“One question first. What do you mean by Evan is already taken care of?”
“Oh, I swung by your place and talked to Betha. She said she would be happy to stay with E-Buddy a little longer. I promise I won’t keep you out late. I’ll have you home in plenty of time for bedtime… and a bath,” I respond, rather proud of myself for planning ahead for once.
