by Jessica Joy
After a long moment, he gives my fingers a squeeze and clears his throat. “So… I can’t remember the last time I talked about my dad. That count as a story for you?” he asks, clearly trying to lighten the mood.
“I wish I could have met him,” I muse.
“He would have loved you,” he says with a soft smile.
“What about your mother?”
“Oh, Ma is still alive and kickin’. She’s actually still in the house we grew up in back in New Jersey,” he says with a small smile on his lips.
“I lost both my parents, car crash. It was a few years ago now,” I’m not sure why I decided to share that little tidbit, but it feels… necessary. He gives my hand another squeeze and mumbles an apology, but I brush him off.
“It’s alright. It’s in the past and we were never that close. It was rough for a bit, but my sister and I made it through,” I say with a shrug.
“What about Evan’s dad? Was he in the picture?” he asks. Of course he asks about that, it’s only natural. But it's the one topic I don’t want to touch with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole.
“Nope,” I respond, popping the ‘P’ in the word; hoping the curt response will be enough to keep him away from the topic.
“Come on,” he chides, dragging out the phrase. “I pulled out an honest to god story for you, what happened to the guy?”
I pull my hand from his taking a step down the wall. “Leave it alone Sawyer,” I snap. I don’t want to bring him into this, all I want is for him to be left in the past where he belongs.
“Oh, touched a nerve,” Sawyer says, remorse evident in his tone but I can tell he’s still trying to play it off. I don’t want anything to do with where this is going. I turn away and look back out over the lake. He steps closer, coming behind me, and his hands braced against the wall on either side of me, caging me in. I feel the heat of him against my back and my spine immediately stiffens, my breath catching. My heart starts racing, I can’t breathe, my mind sluggish to process what’s happening. I’m restrained, caged, controlled all over again. My stomach drops as panic settles in my belly, every muscle in my body tense and vibrating.
Scrunching my eyes closed against the panic, I take a deep, shuddering breath to calm my racing heart. The warm scent of pine and the sweet freshness of spring air mixed with a hint of something so distinctly Sawyer flood my senses. I feel him straighten, still there, boxing me in but not pressed against me. I take another deep breath, focused on the overwhelming scent of him, letting it wash over me and ground me. This is real. This is tangible, this man, this moment. This is true.
“Tess?” he asks, stepping back, clearly confused.
I will my racing heart to slow and my breathing to even out, clinging to the singular thought that he is different, this is different, we’re different. It is entirely possible that I am making the biggest mistake of my life, but I chose to trust him. I chose to trust that Sawyer is what he seems, that he will never hurt me.
With one last deep breath I release the tension that has built up in my body, it comes out in a shuddering sigh and shiver that runs down my spine as I turn to him. He must mistake my shudder as a sign of the cold getting to me because he quickly straightens and takes off his jacket, draping it around me and rubbing my shoulders. If I thought his scent was enticing before, it’s intoxicating now as it literally envelops me. With a deep inhale I let myself get lost in his scent. I take a step toward him and his arms come around me again, almost like he can’t help but touch me.
“Look damn good in my stuff Babydoll,” he murmurs, his voice sending a bolt of awareness straight through me. All I can manage is a hum in response, the moment becoming too much. The last of my resistance falls away along with the memories that were fighting to resurface and I lean into him, giving in to his touch. His lips find my neck and he places several little teasing kisses along the column of my throat. Tilting my head to the side, I give him better access, craving his touch.
Before I can process what’s happening, he lifts me, sitting me on the wall. He steps between my parted knees and my legs wrap around his waist on instinct, pulling him closer. With an almost pained groan as he settles himself between my legs, his fingers threading into the loosened braid at the base of my skull and cradle my head as his lips find mine.
The first brush of his lips is soft, testing, like he is making sure I am in this with him. Even with the barest of touches I can’t help the little moan I give at the contact. That seems to be all the encouragement he needs. His fingers flex against my skull and he deepens the kiss, claiming my mouth and stealing my breath. With a sweep of his tongue along the seam of my lips he teases me, and I open for him. Desperate to taste him, I meet each thrust and touch of his tongue with my own as I slide my arms around his waist and up his back, clutching him to me.
Time seems to stretch and slow all at once as we lose ourselves in this kiss. My heels dig into his lower back just above his ass as I try to pull him closer, my hands fist the fabric of his black hoodie. With a groan deep in his throat he grinds himself against my center and I feel the solid length of him pressing against where I need him most. Even through the layers of clothing I can feel the delicious warmth of him. I nip at his lower lip and attempt to pull him even closer, craving more of him.
I don’t know how long we stay like that, caught up in our own little world but the sound of a car door slamming brings us back to reality. Sawyer is the first to break the kiss bringing his forehead to mine as we catch our breaths.
“Gotta stop Babydoll. Could get drunk on those lips,” he whispers with a warm rumbling chuckle.
Could? Screw could, I’m already there and gone. Drunk. Addicted.
All I can manage is a nervous chuckle in response. This man has me all kinds of worked up and confused. One thing I know is that I don’t want to let go; I want to stay in this moment for as long as I can. My thighs flex around his hips, willing him not to pull away. With a chuckle he presses a gentle kiss to my forehead before leaning back just enough to meet my gaze.
“Getting late, let me get you home?” he asks with a boyish smirk.
“Only if you try to kiss me on the front porch before my big scary father flicks the light on and scares you off,” I laugh, giving him another dramatic eye roll.
“Oh, dads love me.”
“Yes, because if the motorcycle doesn’t win them over the tattoos, rings, and general don’t-fuck-with-me vibe you got going will totally win them over,” I deadpan.
“Hell yeah, I’m fuckin’ adorable,” he laughs, shooting me a cheeky grin as he tickles my sides, making me squirm against him.
“Okay, okay, okay! I give in! Yes, yes you are, and my hypothetical scary dad would love you. Can we go so I can get that awkward kiss now?” I plead through my laughter as I try to break free from his hold. With a bright smile and deep laugh, he pulls me into a tight hug before stepping back and offering his hand to help me down from my perch on the wall.
As we walk back to the parking lot, I can’t help but notice how nice his fingers feel intertwined with mine. The roughness of his palms against my softer skin makes me think of what they would feel like other places on my body while enjoying more of those drugging kisses of his.
Down girl. At least get behind closed doors before you throw yourself at him you harlot.
Chapter 13
Tessa
Alice showed up at my place just after the dinner rush the next day. I rush to answer the knock at the door, kicking some random toy out of the path, to whip open the door to a startled Alice. I had called her in a panic earlier today after finding a note taped to my front door from Sawyer. It had taken all of ten seconds for the adorable fluttery butterfly feeling from seeing his note, to be replaced by horrible a burning terror when I read the contents.
“Alice! What am I agreeing to with a party at the compound?! Why the hell would he even want me there? What do I do? Help! I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t have any girlfriends aro
und here yet, I’ve never been to a biker party before, I’m going to the clubhouse, and don’t even know what that means…” I trail off realizing that my ranting is starting to sound a lot more panicked than I planned.
“Woah, whoa, whoa sugar. Slow down and take a breath. Let me inside sweetheart. It’s freezing out here!”
“Oh my god, I’m sorry. Yes! Come in. Want some coffee? I’ve been pounding it all day. Evan’s getting another tooth and slept like shit last night. So lucky me I got like no sleep and now I look like a raccoon that lost a fight with a sharpie,” I say, all but vibrating as I dash back to the kitchen and start pouring two fresh mugs for us.
“Tess! Darlin’! I command you to take a seat and tell me where the alcohol is. You need a shot of something to calm down,” Alice scolds, ushering me into a chair at the kitchen table.
“Ummm, I’m not sure what I have. I don’t like drinking alone so I don’t have much in the house. There may be a bottle of wine in the fridge?”
Alice goes rummaging for the wine and finds it, then digs through the cupboards for a glass and comes up with a pair of neon plastic cups. “Oh, thank the Lord for screw caps,” she says with a laugh as she pours the wine. She clinks her bright purple plastic cup against my orange one and offers a toast
“To crazy bikers and the women who are crazy enough to love them.”
I laugh at her toast before taking a deep swallow of my wine, “Seriously Alice, what the hell am I going to do?”
“Sugar, you got this in the bag. You have nothing to worry about. Those boys are all talk and no bite with their women. My Clay has been a part of the Sons for damn near the entire time I’ve known him, and let me tell you this, those boys are some of the best men you could ever hope to meet. They may look scary and scraggly around the edges, but they’re a bunch of teddy bears when you get them alone,” she smiles, taking a sip of the wine. “Now don’t go telling any of them I told ya that though; just follow Sawyer’s lead he’ll do ya right,” she nods affirmatively; her self-assuredness calming my panic. “He’ll keep an eye on you. Just remember this; love the man, love the Club. They go hand in hand.” she smiles again after taking a small sip. Somehow my glass is already empty. “Now go put on your tightest pair of jeans, the ones that make your ass look like he could take a bite out of it, and a top that will turn that boy’s brain into pudding,” Alice says with a laugh and a wink, shooing me off toward the stairs.
I shake my head and laugh “What would I do without you Alice?”
“Let’s hope you never have to find out, Sugar. Now scoot! Go get ready to make that boy drool.”
Twenty minutes later I’m coming back down the stairs to the sound of Alice’s laugh coming up from the kitchen. As I pass Evans room, I poke my head in and see that he must have woken up from his nap while I was getting ready. As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I hear continued laughter coming from the living room. Walking through the arched doorway into the living room, I stop dead in my tracks at the scene in front of me.
Alice is sitting on the couch holding her sides with tears streaming down her face from laughing so hard. Evan is laid out in the middle of the living room floor surrounded by toys and babbling away making his adorable baby faces and noises. But what really strikes me is the hulking form of Sawyer crouching down next to Evan pulling faces at him and babbling right along with him like they’re having a conversation. As Evan answers back and gets more and more excited, I can hear Sawyer’s deep rumbling laughter fill the room and it makes my breath catch. Now that is a sound I could listen to all damn day.
I lean against the archway, watching the boys and their antics and I can’t help but join in Alice’s laughter. The sound of my laugh draws Sawyer’s attention and he looks up at me, a goofy smile on his face. His eyes widen when he sees me, taking me in. He continues to stare up at me, the smile fading from his lips, the twinkle of laughter in his eyes replaced by something darker and utterly consuming. Evan squeals, clearly upset to have lost Sawyer’s attention, and flails his arms. The stuffed airplane he’s holding smacks Sawyer square in the face and Alice and I both burst out laughing. Sawyer sputters and shakes his head before looking down at Evan, a bright smile breaking across his face as he laughs and tickles him.
“Someone was reminding you it’s rude to stare,” Alice cackles from the couch, tears still streaming down her face from laughing so hard.
“Well I’m sorry E-Buddy, but have you seen your momma? She’d make blind men stop and stare,” Sawyer says, glancing back up at me. Evan babbles and giggles back, twisting around on his play mat to look at me, screeching with laughter.
Alice wipes the tears from her eyes and stands from the couch with a clap. “Alright you two, get going so I can have my baby snuggles in peace!” she says, shooing Sawyer away and grabbing for my arm to drag me toward the door before bending down and scooping up Evan.
Sawyer gets to his feet and rocks back on his heels, his gaze trailing over me. It may not be the outfit Alice had envisioned for me, but it’s the best a single mother on the run can muster so it’ll have to do. A red t-shirt with the neckline cut so it slouches off one shoulder, light denim skinny jeans, and my chucks. Pairing that with the light makeup and soft curls I had managed, I’m pretty happy with the overall effect. I’m never going to be one of those girls in short skirts and skimpy tops, with an inch of pancake batter on their face in a vain attempt to impress whoever will give a shit. I like to keep things simple, and no matter what else, I am going to be me. If someone doesn’t like that? They can move the hell on. I’m done pretending to be someone I’m not.
Taking advantage of his distraction, I do some perusing of my own. He looks so good it should be a sin in his distressed denim jeans, tight gray Henley that showcases the defined muscles of his chest and torso even through the fabric. He once again has his leather jacket with his Cut over it, and what I am coming to recognize as the signature windswept toss to his hair. Sawyer steps toward me and I breathe deeply, inhaling his intoxicating scent and letting it surround me for a moment before I remember where we are.
Down girl. Not the time nor the place to climb him like a freakin’ tree.
He steps up to me and mummers in my ear “Damn Babydoll, you look good enough to eat.”
“Wouldn’t you like a taste?” I challenge.
“Baby, you have no idea how bad I want to taste you,” he rumbles back as I walk past him to grab my jacket from the front closet. His words send a shiver down my spine that I attempt to cover while tugging on my jacket. I turn to kiss Evan goodbye and remind Alice for the thirtieth time that I’ll have my cell with me and she can text if she needs anything. Alice assures me everything will be fine, they will have a perfect night, and to just go have some fun. When I attempt to give her another rundown on how to do bedtime, she looks over my shoulder and motions at Sawyer.
“Will you just get her out of here?” she laughs.
“I… Okay, okay, I’m going!” I give Evan one last kiss on the forehead, “bye sweet boy, be good and sleep well. Mommy loves you,” I turn and head to the door, refusing to let myself look back again.
Sawyer opens the front door with a chin lift toward Alice and as soon as I’m within reach he places his hand at the small of my back guiding me through the door. He keeps his hand at my back as we make our way down the front walk and to his bike parked at the curb. I go to climb on the bike but his fingers flex against my spine and his other hand comes up to grasp my nape.
“You look stunning Babydoll,” he breathes, eyes roaming over my face like he’s studying me. “Don’t think anyone has ever knocked me dumb like that before,” he mummers as he brushes the tip of his nose along the line of mine, his warm breath fanning across my cheek. I can’t manage anything but a small breathy squeak in response, my hands coming up to grip the edges of his Cut. He breaks into a sexy grin and huffs out a chuckle before capturing my lips.
His kiss is slow and thorough, unhurried. Sweeping his tongue against t
he seam of my lips, he begs for entry and I’m powerless to resist. I melt into him and he takes full advantage sliding his tongue against mine. Pulling away, he lets out a pained groan and rests his forehead against mine.
“I could get drunk on that kiss. Let’s go before I drag you back inside and get properly drunk on it,” he kisses the tip of my nose before releasing me and stepping back. With a steadying breath I turn and settle myself on his bike, fussing with the helmet he passes me.
What’s going on? I don’t want to get involved … do I? After everything, do I really want to let another man into my life? Into Evan’s? And so soon? Much less this big, scary, gruff… caring, sweet, tender… Biker.
Sawyer settles himself onto the bike and I wrap myself around him resting my head on his shoulder while trying to get a handle on my wayward thoughts. He grips my hands against his stomach for a moment before he takes off down the road.
It’s just after dark when we pull through the gates of the compound. Sawyer offers a guy in a blank vest, who can barely be out of high school, a chin lift as we enter through the gate, but doesn’t engage more than that. We pull into a large mechanic garage across the parking lot from the main building and Sawyer parks the bike in a spot at the far end. Before I can even get settled on my feet, he snags my wrist and pulls me into his chest, holding me close for a moment. After taking a deep breath that expands his chest against my cheek he leans back and looks at me, his warm brown eyes smiling down at me. Returning a shy smile, I loop my arms around his waist.
“Nervous?” he asks with a playful smile.
