by Jessica Joy
Chapter 20
Sawyer
Staring at Tessa as she finishes her story, I feel like all the air has been sucked from the room. Anyone could see that she had been through the shit and had her own secrets to keep, but I never could have imagined this story. I could never have thought she had been through so much and come to me looking so wonderful. She’s so perfectly imperfect, strong and vulnerable, I couldn’t find anyone better if I spent a thousand years searching. I need to make this right; I need to atone for my mistakes instead of running from them like last time. She has shown me the path, and I think I can walk it with her and her little man.
Enough of that, I need to get moving, I need to do something.
Turning to King I ask, “So. What do we know?” I don’t even bother letting him play dumb, knowing he had Tinker check up on her before Alice offered her a job, probably the full rubber glove before the house was offered. If there is one thing King is, it’s organized and thoughtful. Coupled with Tink’s ‘Network’ of bribes, blackmails, favors, and deep web knowledge, we can know quite a lot in a short period of time, but we need to know where to look first.
King crosses his arms and leans back in his chair, looking from me back to Tessa / Bethany. “Bethany, thank you for trusting us, I know that couldn’t have been easy to tell let alone relive.”
“Tessa. It’s Tessa now. I left Bethany behind that night and I want to leave her there.” Tessa says firmly, sitting straighter in her seat again.
King inclines his head toward her in respect, “Fair enough. Tessa then. To repay your trust, I want to be straightforward with you,” King says, clearly warming up for one of his ‘shut the fuck up and listen’ speeches. “As soon as Clay let me know there was a woman and child who clearly needed help, we went digging. I know, it’s not the most honest way to get to know someone,” he says with his hands in a placating gesture, “but I do everything I can to protect this Club and everyone attached to it. That means I do not like surprises or strangers, and you were both. You’ve filled in a lot of holes that aren’t in the paperwork, we should be able to get a little deeper on the details now.” Tink leans over and hands him some more papers that he’s been shuffling through during the conversation. “Looks like they knew enough to deal with our security measures in the house. We never received an alert that something was wrong, and that’s on us. I want you to know that we will make up for that oversight; we will get your boy back and we will deal with whoever deserves it. Do you think anyone, other than David, would want to take Evan?” he asks, ending his speech.
“No, there isn’t anyone who would care that much from my old life,” she says, looking down dejectedly. I know a little of that look, what it feels like to cut out your heart to make a new life.
“Prez, I think that answers that, do you need anything else?” I ask, seeing the pain grow on her face.
“No, I think we’ve got what we need to make a plan. Go get some rest you two and trust the Brothers to make this right,” King says, dismissing us.
“Wait. I want to know more. What can I do to help? I need to help,” Tessa interjects, her eyes wide with panic as they flick between King and me.
“Tessa. Take a breath Darlin’. The Brothers are doing everything they can to find your little one. The best thing you can do for him right now is to get yourself healthy and let us know if you think of anything.” turning to me, he says, “Sawyer, you will not let her out of your sight, and I expect you to take care of her.” King stands from his desk, clearly dismissing us this time. Tessa wilts under his declaration, slumping in her seat, the panic and all the fight draining away.
“Church in ten,” King says to no one in particular, putting the final statement on the conversation. He doesn’t need to tell me twice. I nod in deference to the Prez, scoop Tessa up in my arms and stride from the room. She curls into my chest and lets me carry her until we enter my room and I carefully lay her on my bed.
She looks around the unremarkable space for a moment before laying back against the pillows and curling onto her side, her knees drawn up and hands curled under the pillow facing the middle of the bed. She looks so small lying on the bed, and I feel shame well up. I cannot believe that I let her feel this kind pain, that I failed her and Evan so spectacularly. My God, what is that little man feeling away from his mother. What must he be feeling because I wasn’t there to keep him safe, to make his life better, to make him laugh, to pick him up and bring him to bed. Looking back at her I feel a need rise in me and I make my way to bed. I sit down and lay behind her, pulling her close and holding her tight. She presses back against me and we just fit. I can feel her breathing, her heart beating against my hand. This is what I need, to be close, to connect. This woman has unearthed things that I forgot I wanted in life. The scent of sweet vanilla filling my nose from her hair, welcoming and warm.
This. This is the purpose I’ve been missing. Get Evan back, make Tessa whole, protect them both, enjoy them. It is the purpose I have been searching for, the one I never thought I’d find.
“Babydoll. Hey. I know this is a lot, but I promise, we’ve got this. You don’t know much about the Club yet, but this is what we do. We protect our own and deal with those who do us wrong. I’ll make it right, Babydoll,” I say against her hair.
She doesn’t respond, the only sign she even heard me is her curling into herself even further, as if trying to hide from my words. She needs time, she needs sleep.
“Okay, Babydoll. King called Church; I need to go,” I say, giving her a little kiss on the ear. “There’s a bathroom right there if you want to take a bath or something. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I stand, bending down to place a final kiss on her temple before walking out the door.
When I walk into the meeting room where Church is held, I’m the last one to take his seat before King calls us all to order from the head of the massive table. The golden oak table has the Forsaken Sons emblem burned into the center and is lacquered to a high shine. The wall behind King has photos of each of the current and past officers. Across from the doors, on the far wall, several maps of our territory, schedules of events, and various supply routes hang.
“Brothers, we have ourselves a bit of trouble. You all met Tessa last night, Sawyer’s woman. Late last night, at least two men cut the alarm at Clay’s rental, knocked out Tessa, and kidnapped her boy.” a chorus of growls break out. “I know, I know.” he says, waiting for the room to settle. “Not one of us likes this; we welcomed her here into our home, we put her and her son under our protection. What happened last night flies in the face of everything we stand for. We do not condone the harming of women and children, and we will not abide it happening to one of ours. We protect our own, always.” he says, emphasizing each of his points with a finger against the table. “We are going to deal with this problem like we deal with all our problems. Swiftly, decisively, and finally. Tinker, update on what we know.” he clips, nodding toward the man at the computer.
Tinker stands, pressing a button on a remote to trigger the projector screen behind King’s seat to descend from the ceiling. Leaning over his laptop, he connects to the projector and brings up what look like stills from the security feed at Tessa’s. “Alright, what we know so far is that one man went around the front of the house, came in through the front door, slipping on some ice and busting the screen door, and then let his buddy in the back around 2:00 AM last night. They were in the house for less than five minutes before you see them leaving through the back and down the alley.” Tinker hits the space bar on his laptop and the picture on the screen flips to a shot of two large men in black hooded sweatshirts leaving the house, one carrying a bundle under one arm.
“The camera on the garage caught a shot of a rusted-out Suburban leaving the alley. I traced the plates to a rental place just outside of Seattle. One thing we do know for sure is that these guys are not professionals. Renting a car in their backyard, leaving footprints all over the damn house, let alone fingerprints; they
’re fuckin’ amateurs. I mean, come on! How hard is it to…”
“Tink!” King barks, cutting off his rant and bringing attention back to the task at hand.
“Sorry Prez. Yeah, so, they rented using cash, but I was able to pull the records and the van was rented to a Kevin Bucholtz. Now, little Kevin really is of no consequence; some nineteen-year-old punk with nothing worse than a public urination charge on his record. However, what Kevin does have, is a spot as a prospect with The Pikesmen MC, one of the major powers in Seattle,” Tink rattles off, scrolling through a few more pictures on his screen.
King stands and motions for Tinker to sit. “Thanks Brother. The Pikesmen have a handle on some small-time drugs and own some strip clubs in the area. Where they really make their name for themselves is in racketeering and enforcing. They are basically mercenaries for hire for anything from private security to hit men.”
“Why Tessa? Why Evan? Nothing in her past seems to tie her to the Pikesmen, or any MC really. Why target them?” I ask.
“Getting there. Evan’s father, David Lindholm, owns a chrome plating shop in a shithole part of town. He mainly works with auto-shops doing custom jobs. One of those shops? Owned by the Pikesmen MC; plus his books don’t seem to add up so he’s probably laundering as well. For those of you not in the know, David likes to beat up women, steal children, and generally deserves whatever death comes to him as swiftly as possible. He is the reason Tessa ran with Evan and why we’re going to be the swift arm of justice he deserves. From what we can put together, this shit-stain wants his kid back, so he made some kind of deal with the MC to retrieve Evan and bring him back to Seattle,” Tinker answers, standing again.
“How’d the fucker even find her? She changed her name, paid with cash, stuck to the side roads, she did everything right. What changed?” Clay piped in.
“That’s where things get messy.” Tinker responds. “A little over a week ago, this was the headline in the local paper where Tessa lived,” he hit the spacebar on his laptop again and brought up a headline about a local man who died in a car crash. “This man, Darrin, was engaged to one Alexis Hayes, Tessa’s younger sister. I checked Tessa’s email and it looks like she saw the headline and tried to reach out to her sister. I didn’t find a response, but it wouldn’t take a genius to trace the IP. It wouldn’t give them an exact location, but it would get them into town and, well, Proctor just isn’t that big. Side note, I’ve made sure that everyone has a VPN at the modem and device level now. It was an oversight on my part for not securing the rental when we did security,” Tinker nods to King and sits back down as King stands.
“So. Loose ends. One, where are these fuckers holding Evan. Two, what did David offer these guys to take the job. Three, how does the sister and fiancé tie into this whole mess? Axel, Sawyer, Remy, Gage, Cotton, and Tully. You six are riding out the day after next to Seattle; prepare a full kit and take two of the trucks. Make sure you’re prepped for the long haul, since there won’t be any backup. Oh, and make sure you have shit for a baby since none of you chuckle heads will think of that. Tinker, go deep and get the boys any intel you can get. I want blueprints, parking tickets, utility bills; anything that we might be able to use against Sir Shit-Stain, the Pikesmen MC, and anyone remotely associated with the group. I want leverage, and lots of it. I’ll have the full itinerary and plans for you by tomorrow night. Briefing at 6PM tomorrow for everyone, Sober Order in place until the team leaves.” with that King bangs the piston head ‘gavel’ on the table and gestures everyone out of the room.
Not willing to get caught up in any conversation, I jump from my seat and make a beeline for my room. I need to see her, need to hold her again. More than anything I need to make up for leaving last night and letting this happen.
Chapter 21
Tessa
After Sawyer left, I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t get past the dirty feeling of the caked, dried blood crusting on my skin. Needing to soak off the mess of the last twelve hours, I decided to go investigate the ‘bath’ that Sawyer said was here. Sure I was going to find just a shitty little shower, I was pleasantly surprised to find an amazing full sized soaker tub. I stripped down and sunk into the warm water, letting my mind go blank. It worked for a bit, but much sooner than I would have liked, everything started to close in on me again and I had to get out. So that’s how I find myself now; standing in the middle of Sawyer’s room, clad only in a towel, and fighting with myself if wearing his clothes is creepy or not.
The ache in my head wins out and I dig through his dresser for something to steal. I find a soft t-shirt that skims the tops of my thighs, just barely covering my ass, but it will have to do.
I stand next to the bed for a moment, wondering what side he prefers. He didn’t stay long enough last night for me to find out and he clearly doesn’t stay here long enough to leave a divot in the bed. The stabbing pain in my eyes and the ache in my skull make me just not care enough if I end up in his spot or not. I crawl back onto the bed under the covers and curl up, facing the middle of the bed. I try to give into the sleep that’s tugging behind my eyes, but I can’t just yet. I finally let go of everything I have been holding onto today and let the tears flow.
I had never planned on telling anyone my story, it was supposed to be my little secret, the dirty past that I left behind and never had to speak of again. I hadn’t realized how badly I needed to share it; to let the words out and send them into the void. The weight that left my shoulders in that room was amazing. I had been worried I wouldn’t be able to tell the entire story from start to finish, but as soon as I started, the weight lifted, and it just flowed out. Confiding in these men, trusting them had been a balm to my broken soul. I’ve felt so alone for so long; I hadn’t realized how badly I needed to trust someone, to have someone on my side. At least for a short while. I can’t afford to let my guard down so completely again. I’ll still need to leave once I have Evan back. This time we will go far enough that no one will be able to find us again. Whatever it takes to keep Evan safe; I already failed him once, I won’t do it again.
I startle awake to the sound of the door latching and heavy boots on the floor; I must have drifted off to sleep. Turning toward the sound, I find Sawyer sitting in the chair at the desk. He’s not looking at me, his elbows are propped on his knees and he’s holding his bowed head in his hands. The tight set of his shoulders and way he hangs his head makes him look downright tortured. I can’t imagine what must be going through his head after everything that got dumped on him today. I know a bit about what it feels like to have that person you’re with turn out to be a complete imposter.
He’s still here, that must be a good thing. Right?
“Sawyer…” I whisper. Not sure what else to really say but needing to let him know I’m awake and here for him. He lifts his eyes to mine and my heart breaks at the pain I see in their depths. His eyes are screaming that he needs comfort, but his body is tense, almost like he’s ready to react to some kind of danger.
Wait… he’s afraid of me? No. The guilt, the fear… he thinks I blame him! Fuck that.
I throw back the comforter and reach for him. I see him hesitate again, doubt plain on his face. “Please Sawyer,” I whisper again, pleading with him to come to me. “Please…” I encourage. With a heavy sigh, he stands as tugs his shirt off over his head tossing it into the corner. Tugging off his boots, he kicks his jeans into the same pile, leaving him standing in just a pair of tight black boxer briefs.
He looks at me, sitting in his bed, in his shirt, reaching for him. My damp hair is a tangled mess around my head I’m sure, but I don’t care. I need this man; I need to comfort him and soothe that tortured crease in his brow. He drags his hands through his hair, looking like he’s fighting an internal battle before he looks back at me again, a softness around his eyes belying his true need to be with me too. He crawls onto the bed and lays down on the dry pillow, pulling the heavy comforter over himself.
He stretches out under th
e comforter on his back and pulls me down to him, tucking me into his side. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, pinning me to him as his other hand comes up and cradles the side of the face, fingers gently brushing the hair off my cheek. I curl into him, my arms coming up over his chest and my hand settles over his heart, my head resting on his shoulder. We lay like that, arm in arm, his heart gently beating into my hand, for a long while. His chest rises and falls with a steady rhythm of his breath, muscles occasionally twitching as he adjusts slightly. Neither of us willing to break the moment with the words for fear of spoiling it. Time stretches and we can so clearly feel it hanging between us.
Finally, he whispers, looking straight up at the ceiling like he can’t even bear to look at me while he says it. “I should have been there,” his voice cracks, like he’s barely controlling the emotion in it.
I curl further into him, my hand sliding more fully around him and squeezing him to me. “Don’t you dare take that on Sawyer,” I say into his shoulder. I feel him take a breath to protest but I cut him off, “I mean it. You couldn’t have known, no one did. If I hadn’t been so… so scared last night, I would’ve asked you to stay,” I confess, feeling the tears burning behind my eyes.
“Scared? Fuck Tess, I didn’t even realize I scared you too…” he says, pain blooming anew in his voice. “I felt you pull away and I thought maybe you were regretting it. I knew if I stayed, I wouldn’t have been able to help myself from pushing too far again and I didn’t want to fuck it up even more. So I left,” he pleads.
