by Jessica Joy
“You and me both Brother. Come on Spartan. Let’s go get your woman and get the fuck out,” Axel says, slapping me on the shoulder.
“Spartan?”
“Yeah. It fits,” he says with a halfhearted smile.
Chapter 30
Tessa
The drive back to the motel is made in eerie silence, none of us, not even Evan daring to make a sound. The weight of everything that has happened in the last hour hangs heavy over all of us. I can’t stop running my fingers through Evan’s curls as he snuggles into my shoulder, sandwiched snuggly between Sawyer and I as we drive. Sawyer has one arm around my shoulders, holding me close and the other is slowly rubbing over Evan’s back as our baby drifts off to sleep, safe in our arms again.
Our Baby.
Some little logical part of my mind keeps trying to whisper that I shouldn’t be okay with how right that feels, but I shove that voice back and lock it away. It does feel right, nothing has ever felt more right than sitting here wrapped up with my man and my son. Our son. Maybe I should feel… more… more conflicted, more upset, more anything, about the man we left to rot in that warehouse, but I just can’t. If I’m totally honest with myself all I feel is relief. Evan and I are so much better off without David in our lives, without his shadow looming over us. The man sitting here with us, the man that saved us, he has been more of a father to Evan in just the few short weeks he has known us than David ever was. He has been more of a friend, a lover, more of a man than David ever was. Sawyer is our future and I will do everything in my power to keep him in our lives and leave the past behind us.
Much sooner than I was expecting, we pull into the crumbling parking lot of the rundown motel we have been staying at and it’s like I’m seeing it for the first time. Something has changed since we left here this morning, everything seems a little more run down, a little more dingey, a little less like home. Being back in this town has been such a rollercoaster of conflicting emotions for me since I got here, but all of that has now settled into one clear thought… I can’t wait to go home.
When Evan and I ran away that night, there was still something tying me back to Seattle, something that still had me feeling like this was home. Maybe that tie was Lexi, maybe it was the fear of getting dragged back here, but regardless of the why, all of that is gone now. All I want is to put Seattle in my rear view and never look back. I want to take my men and my sister and go home to Minnesota. There is nothing left for us here and if I never see Seattle again, it will be too soon.
As soon as the SUV pulls to a stop Sawyer turns fully toward me in his seat, squeezing my shoulder to get my attention. “We aren’t staying. I’ll have Cotton and Tully grab our things and put them in the other SUV. Gage and your sister will take your car back.” he explains. At the mention of my sister I come to attention and go to look around frantically for her. Sawyer’s hand that has been around my shoulders comes up and presses the side of my face away from the back of the car we are in, ensuring I don’t see Remy’s body.
Fuck. In the mess of everything that had happened I hadn’t even begun to process that loss. Call me selfish, and maybe it makes me horrible, but I just can’t right now. I am still not sure I totally believe I have Evan back in my arms, and I need to see my sister, see that she is truly safe. After I know they are both settled and safe for sure, then I can start to process everything else.
Jerking my head away from Sawyer’s hand, I tug Evan’s sleeping form closer up on my shoulder and scoot across the bench seat toward the door. I need to see my sister. I trust the men to handle the logistics of everything. Right now I need to get my arms around my sister before everything hits me and I break.
No. I can’t break. I can’t afford to break. I need to be strong for Evan and Lex. God knows what she has been through. I need to be there for my sister.
Pushing the door open I stumble out into the parking lot, rubbing Evan’s back when he nuzzles further against my neck in his sleep against the bright sunlight. The car from Roxy and the other SUV are both backed up to the curb in front of our block of rooms, Tully and Cotton are both bustling between the rooms and the cars, packing everything up and getting us ready to leave as soon as possible. Looking around the chaos of our little group, I search for Lexi and don’t see either her or Gage anywhere.
Sawyer comes up behind me, pressing his hand against the small of my back in a comforting gesture before leaning down and speaking softly near my ear. “I’m gonna go get the car seat settled. Gage has Lexi in his room if you want to go see her. I’ll come get you both when we are ready to go.” not knowing what else I can say, appreciating the fact he is taking control and just handling everything, all I do is nod and make my way to the room.
When I get there, the door is propped open and I stand in the doorway, afraid of what I will find inside. Standing there for another moment, I let my eyes adjust to the darkness and am surprised when I see the room is empty. Cautiously, I step into the room and look around again, but when I don’t see either of them still, my heart starts racing. Where the fuck are they?
I finally notice the sound of the shower running when I get about half way into the room and my heart plummets and I growl, “I swear to Christ if that fuckin lephrechaun…”
“Ach Lass, I’m hurt ye would even think such horrid things!” comes Gage’s booming voice from behind me. I spin and find him sitting in the chair under the window, one ankle propped on the opposite knee, reading a book.
“How did you… I didn’t… what’s going on?” I ask. Dear christ the day is taking a toll on me, my brain just isn’t keeping up anymore.
“She’s taking a shower, I’m standing guard, and Cotton refuses to let me close the door so he can finish doing a sweep of the rooms.” Gage explains, closing his book and offering me an indulgent smile.
“I don’t know if I will ever be able to thank you enough for saving her Gage.” I say earnestly, emotion once again clogging my throat.
“It’s what we do Tess. You’re Sawyers’ now, which means you’re Sons. We protect our own.” Gage says like it’s no big deal that he and his Brothers just stuck their necks out so completely for me and my family.
“Well at least let me take it from here. Lexi will ride and stay with me and Evan on the way back.”
“No I’m not.” at the sound of Lexi’s raspy voice I spin on my heel to face her. I haven’t seen her since our parents funeral, but even after years of distance, she still looks just as I remember her. Slightly taller than I am, slender and fit… her build downright tiny compared to my curvy stature. Her long bright red hair currently wet and hanging limply over one shoulder already starting to curl and twist in the soft waves I have never been able to fully pull off. She is wearing a faded Forsaken Sons Mechanics t-shirt and red plaid lounge pants. By the way she is swimming in the oversized clothing I can only assume they are Gage’s.
“Don’t be ridiculous Lexi, of course you can stay with me.” I respond, not fully processing the cold indifference in her eyes as she stares blankly back at me. “I’m not leaving you again Lexi.”
“No. I don’t want to stay with another stranger.” Lexi responds flatly.
“Exactly. So come stay with Evan and me.” I press again.
“You don’t get it. I’m riding with and staying with Gage. I don’t know you anymore,” there is no malice in her tone, just cold indifference as she turns and closes herself in the bathroom again, not sparing me another look.
What the fuck just happened?
I can’t process Lexi’s brush off, my mind feels like I’m slogging through molasses and nothing is making sense. It’s like she didn’t know me, didn’t care. She’s all I have left, we are all each other has… how can she be so indifferent?
Because you are the one who left. You are the one who abandoned her. Of course she doesn’t want to stay with you, she doesn’t know you anymore.
Epilogue
You ready for this, Babydoll?” Sawyer asks from the front se
at. It’s been three days since we left Seattle and our motley little crew is finally pulling into Proctor on our way to the compound. The trip back took longer than any of us were expecting, but with Evan we had to stop and give him breaks more than we would have liked and the little wounds everyone took made sitting still for long hours pretty much impossible. I must have taken too long to respond because he turns and throws me a look over his shoulder.
“Honestly? All I want to do is go home,” I say with a sigh. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the Club and all, but I’m exhausted and really just want to get Evan home.”
“I feel ya. Let’s just make an appearance, let Alice moon over E-Buddy for a couple minutes, and then we can head home,” he coaxes.
“Alice will be there?” I ask, slightly confused.
“Yup. King called everyone in for a welcoming party, Old Ladies and all.” The grin on Sawyers face is infectious and I can’t help but return his smile.
“Just a few minutes?” I ask tentatively.
“Just a few minutes. Then I have every intention of bringing you home and finally claiming my woman properly,” he says with a wink.
“Your woman, huh? What, gonna take me out back and piss a circle around me or something?” I laugh.
“I mean… If that’s what gets you going…”
“Do I really need to be here for this?!” Axel groans from the passenger seat.
“Go back to sleep asshole,” Sawyer says, punching the VP in the arm.
“The thought of you claiming anything with that micro dick of yours roused me from my slumber from the sheer terror and disgust of it all,” Axel grumbled, shifting in his seat to shake the sleep off.
“Nothing micro about my man Mr. Vice President,” I say winking at Axel’s turned look.
“UGH. Seriously Tess, I don’t want to hear about how he drags you off by the hair.”
“Cavemen. The both of you,” I laugh. “Okay, okay. If only to piss Axel off, let’s stop in and say hi.”
Sawyer flashes me a smile in the rear-view mirror before he pulls up to the compound gates. One of the prospects pulls them open and ushers both the SUVs and my borrowed car into the lot. Before we are fully stopped, I see the passenger door of the car shoved open and a pissed off Lexi tumbles out. She staggers to her feet and storms off toward the gates. A confused Gage steps from the driver’s door and throws a shrug. Cotton and Tully take the other SUV off toward the back of the lot; they have Remy with them.
Axel groans and rolls out of the car, motioning to the Probie at the gate to ignore Lexi. Gage stomps past my window a second later and I damn near hear his eyes rolling from inside the car. I go to climb out as well, but Sawyer reaches back and taps my knee, drawing my attention.
“Let them go. Give it time,” he says quietly. The last three days have been difficult to say the least. Lexi has barely looked at me and I think you could count the words she’s said to me on one hand. Sawyer knows how hard it has been on me, and I know he wishes he could help, but I think this one will be up to me to solve. All I want to do is chase after her, to make sure she is okay. He must read my thoughts because he climbs out of the car and opens my door, tugging me out and into his arms.
I snuggle into his chest, luxuriating in his hold for a moment before looking up at him. “How’d you know?” I ask. He gives me an ‘are you serious?’ look and I can’t help but laugh. He knows me too well.
“Just give her time Babydoll. Let Gage annoy the shit out of her for a while and she’ll come around. That bastard could wear anyone down,” he says with a laugh.
“He seems determined, doesn’t he?” I ask, turning to look toward the gates. Gage has his arm wrapped around Lexi’s shoulders and is now leading her toward the main doors of the compound.
“She’s gonna fall for him or beat the shit outta him,” Sawyer says.
“Both. Both is good.” I laugh in response.
“Damn right,” he chuckles, pressing a kiss to my temple. “Now come on, grab E-Buddy and let’s go inside so I can claim you properly woman.”
“Caveman,” I laugh, slapping his chest playfully.
“You’re mine Tessa. You and Evan both, and I don’t want to waste another second without you as my Ol’ Lady.”
A wide smile breaks across my face, my hand reaching up for his heavy ring against my chest. I lift up on my tip-toes to press a sweet kiss to his lips. “Love the man; love the Club.”
Playlist
Way Down We Go – KALEO
Dark Side – Bishop Briggs
Broken Bones – KALEO
To Be Alone – Hozier
Glitter & Gold – Barns Courtney
Walk Through the Fire – Zayde Wolf, Ruelle
Renegades – X Ambassadors
Power Over Me – Dermot Kennedy
Unsteady – X Ambassadors
Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene – Hozier
Playlist on Spotify
Special Thanks
Sitting down to finally write this is maybe the most surreal experience of my life. I started writing Spartan on a whim as my first ever NaNoWriMo project in 2018. A year and a half of blood, sweat, tears, and several bottles of wine later I am finally ready to introduce him to the world. There are so many people who have been a part of this crazy journey and I can honestly say I would not be here writing this without every single one of them.
First and foremost, none of this book would exist without my husband and his unending support and ability to put up with my ramblings, scatterbrained ways, and constantly asking him “Hey, what do you think about…” Thank you for knowing me better than I know myself sometimes, and translating that into knowing my characters when I may lose them. Love you way way lots oh hubster of mine.
I also don’t think Spartan would have ever gotten done if it weren’t for Emily and her constant collaboration and steady supply of wine nights. Emily, that Word Count Wine Contract is a thing of beauty, the threat of having to drink two buck chuck from a plastic bag will forever loom over my head when I am struggling with hitting my word counts.
Some people go to a coffee shop or library to get inspiration and write, I go to the local brewery. Thank you to my bartender boys, Dave, Chris, Lance, Shaun, and Rob for humoring me asking for random ideas and always keeping my mug full.
I want to thank my amazing editor Melissa for being your amazing self and sticking with me, even though I make you contemplate murder. You truly pull the best out in me and my characters and they wouldn’t be what they are without you. Love you loads woman!
To my beta’s whose comments had me laughing so hard I was in tears and made me fall in love with my characters all over again seeing them through your eyes. I adore each and every one of you.
And thank you to every single one of you who have picked up a copy of Spartan and given this new author a try. Thank you for giving me a chance and I hope you fall in love with the Sons as much as I have and keep wanting to see more!
About the Author
Jessica Joy lives in the Frozen North of Minnesota with her husband and two mini monsters. She is a coffee addict, lover of all things geeky and nerdy, and proud theater nerd. When she isn’t in her writing cave creating broody swoon worthy book boyfriends, you can often find her dancing and singing along with show tunes or Disney music at the top of her lungs, especially when she has a chance of embarrassing her teenage daughter.
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