She put all the kids in their own beds. Sometimes, if she wasn’t working, she’d just let them snuggle with her, but even though she’d finished another job and had that money in her account, the future seemed so uncertain that she could hardly stand it. She had six little people depending on her, and she didn’t know what to do.
Lying down on the bed that wouldn’t be there tomorrow after the movers came, she kept still until Claire snored softly in her play yard that doubled as a crib.
She knew everything would be okay. Even though she’d made a lot of mistakes, God was still with her and would work things out. She just wasn’t sure how.
The lack of roots and the vagabond lifestyle was all her fault, but she hated that her children would suffer.
And of course, they’d miss Abner.
A tear slipped out of her closed eye and down her cheek. Followed by another. And another. Tears, but no sound. She didn’t want to wake Claire.
A small noise by the door caused her eyes to fly open.
Abner stood in the doorway. He’d helped put the kids to bed most nights but otherwise had not been upstairs.
His eyes went to the baby in the crib. He didn’t make a sound as he walked across the floor, sat on the bed, and lay down beside her, not hesitating, like that was their normal.
She noted he was in his stocking feet.
She also noted that the bed felt a lot smaller with him in it.
“I have something I’ve been wanting to ask you. Couple things.”
He had to have seen her tears, but she was grateful he didn’t comment on them. She wasn’t sure why she was crying. She certainly couldn’t explain it to him.
“I’m listening.” She could feel the heat coming off him, remembered their kiss, and wished she could have been what he wanted.
“Do you know what you’re doing?”
She didn’t figure there was any reason for her to pretend to not know what he was talking about. Much as she didn’t want to admit how sad her life was.
“I have an apartment in Huntingdon, which is just about an hour north of here.”
“Yeah, I know where it is.”
She’d forgotten he’d grown up in the area, too. Of course he knew where Huntingdon was.
“I have a moving van scheduled to come the day after tomorrow. I’ll be driving down the same time as them and getting the keys.”
“You’ve already paid a deposit?”
“Yes. I put a deposit to hold it, and I’ll owe more when I get there.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see his chest go up and down. She supposed his presence should make her nervous, but it had the opposite effect.
“What are your plans?” she asked, after he didn’t say anything for a while.
“I have a ranch in North Dakota. Just bought it from a buddy of mine. Makes this house look like a castle.”
Wow. It must be pretty run-down and tiny.
“Is Huntingdon where you want to be?” he asked, a little softer.
“No.” She didn’t elaborate.
“Thought maybe you’d want to raise the kids in the country and not an apartment.”
“Of course that’s what I want. But it’s not what I get.” She tried to shake the irritation out of her voice. “Which is fine. The kids will be fine.”
“You could have that.”
“Sure if I won the lottery. But since I don’t play...” She raised a hand and waved it, then dropped it back on her stomach.
He took a deep breath. If it had been anyone else but Abner, she’d have thought he was nervous.
“You could come to North Dakota with me.” His head turned, and his eyes searched her face. Rolling over on his side, he touched a finger to her face. His lips flattened and pulled back. “This hurts my heart.”
She closed her eyes and turned away. She was pretty sure he was asking her to live with him. It wasn’t hard to figure out what he wanted. She wanted it too, but Abner would put a ring on the finger of the girl he loved. Since he wasn’t, he was basically offering her a home, and not a very good one from the sounds of it, for her children and herself in exchange for...
His finger trailed down her cheek and into her hair. “I watch you play with this, and my fingers itch to touch it.”
“I thought you were better than that.” Her head turned back toward him. She couldn’t keep the hurt out of her eyes. So what if he knew?
His brows crinkled. “Better than what?”
She lowered her voice so she didn’t wake Claire. “Never mind.” She couldn’t hardly fault him when she’d done all that and worse. She’d just expected more from him. Maybe she should have expected it from herself.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” There was a pleading note in his voice.
“Nothing.” She sighed. She’d disappointed a lot of people, too. “I told myself I wasn’t depending on a man again.”
“I know. That’s why I’ve hesitated so long. I know you don’t...want a man. I get it. So, how about you come with me until you get on your feet? Maybe you’ll decide to stay, and maybe something better will come along.”
She wanted to. Her kids loved Abner. And so did she. How could she not?
“Just one thing,” he said.
Yeah. This was where he said she’d have to sleep with him in order to get what she wanted. She promised herself, no matter how much she loved him, she’d tell him no. She formed the word in her mouth and put it on the edge of her tongue.
“Marry me.”
She choked, lifting her head off the bed. “What?”
He blew his breath out. “Marry me. We don’t have to...share a bed, I just can’t stay in the same house...” His voice trailed off.
He’d shocked her. Truly.
“I thought you said I was free to go?”
“You are. Would be. I know people live together all the time. You’ve done it.” He paused. “But I can’t.”
Maybe it was his Amish upbringing. She could respect that. She believed it was the right way anyway. Living together sure as heck hadn’t worked out for her.
She wanted to ask a bunch of questions. Wanted to figure out where he was coming from and what prompted his offer, but she decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. She’d given up men, sure. But there was no doubt in her mind this was the right thing for her children. “I’ll do it.”
THREE DAYS LATER, CORA and her children sat with Abner in Patty’s Diner in Sweet Water, North Dakota, eating supper.
They’d driven twelve hundred miles in two days, and the kids were tired. Abner was tired. Cora’s eyes had black rings under them, and she seemed to be on autopilot.
He was kinda happy, though, too. Cora had just married him at the courthouse. They’d had to push pretty hard to make it there before five, but he was now a married man. With six kids.
All he had to do at this point was convince his wife not to leave him. Seemed like the hardest job was ahead.
But he’d convinced her to come to North Dakota. If she hadn’t agreed to that, he’d been very tempted to go with her to Huntingdon. Live beside her. Whatever it took. If she’d let him without thinking he was worse than a stalker.
He knew he’d pushed too hard when she kissed him, and he had to back off. He didn’t have enough time to do things slow, though. And he didn’t know what to say. What to do. Did he apologize for that kiss? He wasn’t sorry. Not for the kiss. He was just sorry about the way she felt.
Regardless, now he held Luna on his lap, giving her pieces of his cooked carrots and peas and little bites of his chicken. Cora fed Claire in the highchair, and the other kids were in the booth, two beside him and two beside Cora.
The kids were talking, wiggling, but Cora and he were quiet, despite the fact that they’d not talked the whole way here because they’d driven separately. He’d taken his motorcycle to the car dealer and come back with an SUV. Not the way he might normally buy a vehicle, but he’d needed to do something. He’d rather
have a family than a bike, and that hadn’t been a hardship.
The bell over the door jingled, and a blast of cold air hit their table. Abner put a pea into Luna’s mouth and looked up.
“Hey, Abner.” Preacher, his harvest crew boss from the past summer, walked in with his wife, Reina.
“Preacher.” Abner nodded, not even trying to contain his grin when Preacher walked over, his eyes moving around the table, noting Cora and marking each child. “This is my wife, Cora.”
Abner didn’t give any extra explanation. He had just finished up with the crew less than three weeks ago, didn’t have a girlfriend, and had no plans on getting married.
Preacher barely blinked. “You’ve multiplied since I saw you last.”
Abner’s lips twitched. “Can’t outwork me, bro.”
Preacher smiled. “Didn’t know it was work.”
Reina elbowed him. “It’s work.”
Preacher held his hand out to Cora. “Good to meet you, Cora. I’m Clay, since your deadbeat husband was raised in a barn and never learned manners.”
Cora gave Clay a pleasant smile while she shook his hand, but Abner noted the lines of fatigue around her face and the droop of her shoulders. He wanted to get her home and let her rest. He shouldn’t have pushed for them to travel so hard and fast.
“And I’m Reina. Since my husband was apparently raised in the same barn.” Reina held her hand out, and Cora shook it.
Clay put an arm around his wife. “Does this mean we’re sleeping in the barn tonight for old time’s sake?”
Reina’s smile was intimate, and Abner almost looked away. “I think it’d be fun to sleep in the barn.”
“Even if I say I’m sleeping with my .22 to shoot rats?”
“I get the gun. You can hold the spotlight.”
Abner glanced at Cora. A smile hovered around her lips. He turned back to Preacher. “You two sound like you’re going to have a lot of fun tonight, but where’s Gina?” he asked, referring to their daughter.
“She’s with my mom. Reina and I are leaving pretty early in the morning to go look at a few farms for sale.”
“You getting out of the harvesting business?”
Clay nodded. “Mack’s gonna buy it,” he said, referring to one of the other crew members. “He’s at home in Oklahoma now, but he’s coming up next week to talk.”
They chatted a little longer, then Clay and Reina went to find a seat.
“I’m gonna go pay. You good?”
She gave him a look that said she’d been handling her six kids by herself for a long time and he hadn’t needed to ask.
He paused before standing. “Did you want me to leave without asking?”
Her shoulders slumped. “No. I’m sorry. I’m tired and grumpy.”
“We’re almost home.” He couldn’t keep his lips from turning up in a huge smile. There was the nagging thought that Cora might not like him enough to stay, but otherwise, he was thrilled to his toenails that he was back in the state he loved with the seven people who meant more to him than anything else in the world.
He pushed aside and, carrying Luna, walked to the cash register, pulling out his wallet.
He knew their waitress, Angela, not that they were on great speaking terms, but enough to be friendly.
“How was your meal, Abner?” she asked.
“Best meal I had all day,” he said. She looked a little rougher than she had when he’d seen her in Colorado, and he never had found out why she’d come to Sweet Water. But he felt a little bad for her. She’d been conniving and done a few things that he’d say were dead wrong, but who hadn’t? It was pretty obvious to him that she’d been down a rough road, and it looked like she’d been doing some learning in the school of hard knocks.
“Are you with relatives?” Her tone was polite and friendly, but not suggestive or flirtatious, and he answered easily.
“My wife and kids.”
Her hand with his change in it hung suspended over his. Her mouth opened and closed. “Your wife?”
Abner just raised his brow.
“I didn’t see you as the marrying kind.” She dropped the change in his hand.
It was a fact he’d been grateful for. “I’m not. Only for Cora. You’ll have to come out and visit.”
Angela’s eyes widened. Abner felt bad for her because from her reaction he felt like maybe the townspeople hadn’t been real welcoming.
“Give me your number, and I’ll give it to my wife. I think she’d love company, and I’ve seen you at the church; you’re good with kids.”
“You have a lot of them,” Angela said as she grabbed a pen and scribbled her number on the back of her order pad. “Are they all yours?”
“Yes.” The word was out of his mouth before he thought about it. He’d never even talked to Cora about their fathers or what his role would be. Maybe that’s because she wasn’t planning on staying.
“I’m going to have some interesting conversations with your wife.”
So was he.
Chapter 16
They arrived at Abner’s ranch well after dark. There was a moon and a few inches of snow on the ground so it wasn’t completely black, but that might have been better.
The house was small. Tiny. Even smaller than the house in Ohio. Cora had no idea where they were all going to stay.
There was a barn. It looked big and black in the night.
No pole lights. No neighbors. Nothing but wind and miles of snow-blanketed flat land in all directions.
“No animals?” she asked Abner when she parked beside him at the side of the house and he walked to her car. What was a ranch without animals? Shouldn’t there be a dog and some cattle and a few ducks or goats or something? Isn’t that what real ranches had? Maybe everything was sleeping. It was night.
“Can’t have animals when I’m not here.”
Oh. Of course. Right. She knew that.
Not.
What exactly had made her think coming to the middle of nowhere was a good idea for her children? And for her?
If she had any doubts, any at all, about whether Abner was an ax murderer, she’d be turning around and leaving. She wouldn’t even stay the night. She could scream as loud as she wanted to, and no one would hear. Not a soul.
Her younger children were sleepy in the back seat, but Derrick, who’d ridden with her, and Andrew, who’d ridden with Abner, were both out and excited.
He wore a t-shirt and didn’t seem cold. She hunkered down in her hooded sweatshirt and wished she’d worn her coat instead of packing it.
Running a hand over his head, he said, “I have one room off the side of the house. That’s where the moving company was supposed to put the bunk beds up, and I’ll get to work immediately tomorrow adding on.”
“You can do that?”
“Yeah. It’s not been too cold here, and only the first couple of inches of ground are frozen. I’ll be—”
“Wait. What? Couple of inches? Frozen ground? What are you talking about?”
His smile came out slow, and her heart grinned in return.
“Forgot you were a southern girl.”
“Ohio is hardly the Deep South.”
“Almost Kentucky. West Virginia. Same hills.” He shook his head like there was something wrong with her.
“You’re from the same place,” she said, unable to not smile, despite her tiredness.
He turned serious. “I love what I’ve done between now and then, but I do have a major regret about leaving. That won’t ever change.”
She was too tired to think about that tonight. “I meant you can build a room onto your house?”
“Yeah.” He looked down. Then, like he’d made a deliberate decision to say more, he said, “That’s what my dad did. I worked full-time with him for a couple of years. I can build something that probably won’t fall down or leak. Long’s the kids do their running and jumping outside.”
“You might as well forget it then. Maybe we should just stay in the
barn. Is there heat?”
“No.” He grunted. “Think I can get a few fellows to come help me. Next week this time, the kids will have two rooms.”
“They’re not going to have a problem sleeping wherever.” And she had the play yard for Claire. Her abs tensed, and she felt a little like throwing up. “Where am I sleeping?”
“There’s a loft. I didn’t want to worry about the kids falling down the stairs, and it’s a lot smaller.” A big shoulder lifted. “You can sleep with the kids if you want.”
“You?” There were things they’d never talked about, and maybe they should. But this wasn’t going to be one of them.
He stared down at her, and she wished the moon were brighter. “Guess that depends on where you want me.”
That hardly seemed right. “What do you want?”
He dismissed her almost immediately. “I have a lot of dreams but only a couple of things I feel like I can’t live without. Maybe we’ll talk about it someday, but we’ve stood around long enough. I’ll sleep in the barn.”
He turned back to his vehicle, opened the door, and started unbuckling Luna.
Derrick and Andrew had already been to the house and had the lights on. Cora sent a worried glance that way. “The door wasn’t locked,” she called over to Abner. “Do you think someone broke in?”
“Never lock it. Not even sure Boone had a key.”
“Boone?”
“I bought it from him.”
“Oh.” She felt like she moved to a different country. They didn’t lock their doors? Abner didn’t seem worried about the boys, and she knew from the past few weeks that he wouldn’t let them get into anything that would hurt them, so she tried not to worry either.
The house wasn’t much to look at, which didn’t surprise Cora. The kitchen seemed functional, and there was a bathroom with a shower-tub combo.
She didn’t bathe the kids, though. Just changed a diaper and put the younger four to bed, staying in the room and singing softly until they drifted off. With a set of bunks along opposite walls and Luna’s little daybed pushed against the far wall, there was not much space at all.
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