by Jessie Cooke
Beck started moving up and down in his lap and with another smile she said, “It would have been too late. If he put it in my mouth, I was going to bite it off.” Jace laughed again, but they both knew she wasn’t kidding.
10
Finn was having a dream. Caitlin was there. He was holding her hand and they were walking through the park. It was finally cool and the breeze was blowing her hair around her face. He couldn’t get over how pretty she was. She shone from the inside out...he’d never met anyone like that before. They stopped underneath a big tree and he used his body to gently press hers up into it. When he lowered his mouth down to hers, he expected fireworks...but instead, he got a jackhammer. Someone was tearing something up and the sound of it was pounding inside of his head.
“What the fuck is that?” He sat up in bed, sweating and confused. He’d gone home after the bar like Jace told him to and he’d been so fucking bored that he’d drunk three...or maybe six?...beers and stared at some bullshit on the television until five in the morning. He finally took a shower and went to bed, figuring if Jace hadn’t called by then, he wasn’t going to. He pushed the hair out of his eyes and squinted at his phone, which was lying on the nightstand next to his bed. It was eight in the morning. Another obnoxiously loud round of banging...or was that knocking?...violated his ears. Who the fuck would be pounding on someone’s door at 8 am? In his neighborhood, there was always the possibility it was the cops, which made him hope even more that it wasn’t his door they were trying to bang down.
He fought through the pain in his head and behind his eyes...and thankfully, the noise stopped. Breathing a sigh of relief, he lowered his head back down to the pillow, only for the sound to begin echoing off the walls of the tiny room once again. He opened one eye and squinted toward the door. Yep...the fucking thing was moving. It was his door. “What?” he barked, as loudly as he could to be heard over the incessant noise.
“Open the door!” It was a woman’s voice. What the hell? He hadn’t done anything to piss off any woman lately...except Caitlin...and he realized he was disappointed that it wasn’t her voice. Pissed off or not, he’d love to see her.
“Go away!”
The crazy woman slammed whatever she was knocking with against the door again, over and over...fuck! “If your name is Finn McGregor, you better open this fucking door or you’ll have to listen to me knocking all day!”
He growled, untangled himself from the sweat-soaked sheet, and stumbled, in his shorts, with his crazy hair in his eyes, to the door. He almost fell into it, trying to get a hold of the knob. When he finally did, he tried to pull it open and realized it was locked, as his hand slid off it and he stumbled backwards, tripping over the ottoman and falling on the floor, on his ass. “Fuck!”
“What the hell is going on in there? Are you going to open the door or not?”
“Just a fucking minute!” Like a much older man than the twenty-six-year-old he was, Finn struggled back up to his feet. He needed a fucking cigarette...and maybe he should think about quitting the alcohol. Pulling his smokes off the counter and taking the last one out of the pack, he lit it and took a long...beautiful...drag, filling his lungs with smoke, before at last unlocking and pulling open the door. The smoke came out in a puff of its own free will when he saw the gorgeous woman at his door. She was model gorgeous, and he could tell by the haughty look on her face and the disgust in her eyes that she knew it. It still didn’t tell him what she wanted with him. “What?” he said, as she coughed and waved the smoke out of her eyes.
She made a face like she was trying to quell the nausea and then she asked, “Are you him? Are you Finn?” Her eyes went to the big snake on his chest and her lip curled and her nose wrinkled. “Or do you prefer Snake?”
He took another drag off the cigarette, wished he had a beer...remembered he was quitting...and finally said, “If we’re talking about my preference here, it would be that you go away and my ass goes back to bed.”
Her eyes ran over him again, finally landing on his face once more. “I hope you clean up good and my cousin’s taste is not really that bad.”
“Who the fuck is your cousin?”
“Caitlin...remember her?”
“Fuck.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Is this an inconvenient time for you to have to face some consequences for the way you made her feel? That girl has struggled with her self-esteem her entire life. I set her up on a date because she sits home alone every night and she’s much too wonderful for that. I feel responsible that she stumbled onto you instead. She was so excited to go out with you. She was actually glowing. And then what did you do? You sleep with her and kick her out and never call her again. She’s been walking around like a zombie ever since...but do you want to know the worst part?
“She doesn’t blame you. She blames herself. She said that she ‘should have known she was out of your league.’ I think now more than ever that my poor cousin is blind and confused. She is so far out of your league that the two of you aren’t even in the same ballpark! Tell me something, Snake...” She spat out his name like it left something sour on her tongue. “How does it feel to be slimier than a rock at the bottom of a stagnant pond? Because that’s what you are. You make me sick and if I was a man, I’d beat the living shit out of you. Have a nice life.” She spun around on the heel of her white boots and suddenly he was looking at the back of her golden blonde head, still trying to process everything she’d just said. He let her get four or five steps away before tossing the cigarette into the flowerbeds in front of the door and saying:
“Hey, wait! I don’t get to talk?”
When she spun back around, the fire in her eyes was burning so hot that it practically scorched him. “No, slimeball, you don’t. Nobody wants to hear your flimsy excuses.”
“Well, that’s okay. Not that I don’t have a million of those. Hell, I’ve got so many excuses that there’s hardly any room left in my stupid head for anything else. But...maybe I try an apology this time. Do you think that would make her feel better?”
“If it was sincere, I’d say yes.” She dragged her eyes over him again, still brimming with disgust. It was the first time in a long time that he’d been looked at like that. When he was on the streets, using, dirty, and high or jonesing for a fix, people looked at him like that all the time. It took years of being in the States and getting it all out of his system before he could even look at himself in the mirror without that disgust in his own eyes. Six years later, he thought he’d come a long way. But looking at this woman and hearing her words about how badly he’d made Caitlin feel...well, it made him realize he still had a long way to go.
“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m just thinking maybe she’d be better off without the apology. I came here to get this all out of my system, because I needed you to know what you did to her. But, honestly, if there is a shred of remorse in that inked-up body of yours, maybe you should just stay away from her. She’s a lot stronger than she gets credit for being. She’ll get past this and one day she won’t even remember your name.”
This time Finn let her walk away. He was suffering too much from the pain of the knife she’d just stuck in his guts and twisted to call her back, or chase her. He finally stepped back and closed the door. He stood there for a few minutes, in a daze, thinking about how badly he wanted a smoke...and then he finally walked over to the refrigerator and cussed himself for drinking all the beer the night before. That’s okay, though, right? Wasn’t I going to quit?
“Hey! You left the house almost an hour before me. I was getting worried.” Caitlin still had a week before he uncle expected her to start work...but one more day sitting around the house and thinking about Finn and that whole awful night, and she was going to lose her mind. She was sure once she was busy with work, she’d forget all about him...or at least his rejection would hurt less. Either way, her idle mind wasn’t helping her any.
Joy was looking at her like she had two heads. “What are you doing here? I though
t you were still in bed when I left.”
“I was, but I heard you push Trevor out the door, and...”
“Brent.”
“Brent? Are you sure? You introduced him to me as Trevor last night.”
“Trevor was my dinner date.”
Caitlin wasn’t sure what to say. She thought it would be more appropriate to leave it alone...but curiosity got the better of her. “You had two dates last night?”
Joy was putting her things in her desk and taking off her jacket as she talked. She didn’t look like she was in her usual cheery mood. With a sigh she said, “I had dinner with Trevor, but on the way home he told me he wanted to ‘take things slow’ and ‘see where this is going’ and ‘not rush into anything that might last a lifetime.’” She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, he dropped me at the door with a peck on the cheek and a promise to call me. Once he was gone, I called Brent. He lives two blocks away and he’s always up for the booty call.”
“Oh...” Caitlin was at a loss for what to say to that. “Okay, so anyway, I want to start work today. I don’t have to start getting paid until next week since the HR stuff is already done. But I have to get out of that house and have something else to think about.”
“I’m surprised you’re still thinking about that slimeball at all,” Joy said, taking a seat in front of her computer and turning it on. “He’s not even that good-looking.” Caitlin could only see her cousin’s profile, but she clearly saw that Joy had caught herself...after she said what she hadn’t planned on saying.
“Joy...how do you know that? When did you see Finn?”
“Is Daddy in yet?”
“Joy! When and where did you see Finn? Oh my God! I texted you his address the other night...oh, Joy, please tell me you didn’t go over there.”
“I can’t tell you that. I’m sorry, babe, but I did. What a mess that guy is! Are you kidding me, telling me you are out of his league? What a piece of...”
“Joy! Enough, please. I get how you feel about him, and I’m not going to defend him, I’m just taking my own part of the responsibility.”
“Which should be none.”
Caitlin couldn’t help it; she smiled. Joy meant well. She really couldn’t get mad at her for caring. “I love you. But yes, I have to take some responsibility. I chose to go to this man’s apartment and have sex with him. I should have gotten to know him first and then when I figured out he was an asshole, it would have hurt less. But I didn’t and it’s over and done with. So please, leave it alone.”
“I will, and I’m sorry. I just had to tell him off because I knew you wouldn’t.”
Caitlin made a face. “What did he say?” She wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but again, curiosity got the better of her.
Joy rolled her eyes. “He said something about apologizing, but whatever...there’s no excuse for how he treated you. You deserve more respect than that.”
“Then I should have demanded better for myself...and I didn’t. I know I said I wasn’t going to defend him, but in this case I have to say, in his defense, how was he supposed to know what I deserved?”
“You’re hopeless,” Joy said, shaking her head. “By all accounts, growing up with my Aunt Gloria, you should be a dark, brooding mess. Instead, you’re one of those people who have to see the positive in every situation.”
“I’m sorry,” Caitlin said. “I guess it’s a coping mechanism.”
Joy laughed. “Do not apologize for being such a good person, not to me or anyone else. It’s a good, healthy coping mechanism...but it also sets you up for getting hurt sometimes too. Just be careful.”
“I will, I promise. Now to answer your other question, Uncle Tony’s not in yet. So where should I start?” Caitlin was looking at Joy and she had her back to the door. While she was talking, she heard the bells on the door ring as it opened. She almost turned around, but the look on Joy’s face stopped her. “What?”
Joy rolled her eyes and said, “Maybe you should start by taking out the trash.”
11
Caitlin quickly ushered Finn back out the front door of the office. He felt like he’d narrowly escaped a few of the daggers that her cousin had thrown at him through her eyes. Once they were outside, he really looked at Caitlin. She looked prettier than he remembered her. Her brown hair was silky and shiny in the sun and it hung down across her shoulders, tempting him to run his hands through it. Her face was devoid of makeup except for a light coat of gloss on her lips. She had looked beautiful the night they went out, all made up...but truth be told, he liked her better the way she was now.
“What are you doing here?” She was looking up at him with something like worry or anxiety in her eyes, but at least her look was softer than her cousin’s.
“I wanted to see you. I didn’t know where you lived, so I thought I’d try here. Before you say anything, keep in mind that I risked life and limb just coming to look for you.” She cocked an eyebrow, folded her arms, and said:
“How so?”
“Did you see that look your cousin gave me? I didn’t know if she was packing heat or carrying a knife or...” She smiled, a little bit. That’s what he was hoping for. “I hope you don’t mind me askin’, but is she a bit of a header?”
“A what-er?”
He put his finger up to his head beside his ear and twirled it. “You know...mad? A crazy person?” Caitlin’s little fist poked him in the chest. “Ouch!”
“Oh, shut up, that didn’t hurt. No, she’s not crazy. She’s...protective.”
He smiled. “I was kidding. I’m sorry. I’m not very good at this. I act the maggot and then...” She had that blank look again. “You know, I act like a fool. I realize it when I do, and I feel bad. Your cousin didn’t think I’m capable of remorse, but I am. It’s the apology thing I’m not good at.”
She folded her arms again and scrunched her cute face up into a frown. She looked like she was trying to figure out what she wanted to say. Finally, when he was about to say something else stupid, just to fill the silence, she said, “You don’t have to apologize for not wanting to be with me. It just would have been nice if...”
“Hey...you’ve got this all wrong. I’m not apologizing for not wanting you.”
“Oh...okay then, good, because you can’t help who you want and if I’m not your type...”
“Woman, I think madness runs in your family.” She hit him again. “Ouch! My green snake is going to be purple from all the bruises.”
“Quit calling us crazy.”
“Well, quit acting it,” he said, rubbing the spot on his chest that she’d just hit. That time she’d used her knuckles and it really did kind of hurt. “Let me finish what I was sayin’.”
“Finish.”
“I wasn’t apologizing for not wanting you because I did...I do want you. Christ, woman! You think I ever chased a woman around sending flowers and givin’ out apologies and shit?”
“I have no idea what you’ve ever done, except have sex with me and then kick me out the door like it meant nothing.”
“And if you’d let me, that’s what I’m trying to apologize for. Your cousin said something crazy about you thinking I’m out of your league. Caitlin, I’m nothing, nobody. Until a few years ago I was skinnier than that cousin of yours in there and a whole lot uglier. I don’t know nothin’ about women. Dinner the other night, that was my first date...ever.”
She frowned again. This time it looked like she was trying to decide whether or not to believe him. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
He sighed. “What part isn’t making sense?”
“You’re gorgeous, like...I mean, tall, dark, handsome, and dipped in colorful ink gorgeous.” Finn liked that she thought that. It was what had made him come on so strong with her in the first place. He could see it when she looked at him. But he liked it even better to hear her say it out loud. She thought he was gorgeous. He smiled.
“Well, thank you,” he said. “But I’ve worked hard for the last few years on gain
ing weight and muscle. And these tattoos...well, they’re not just decoration, they’re...”
“Finn!” Her scream and wide eyes were the last thing he heard or saw. Everything went silent, and dark, all at the same time.
“Boss, we got Five-O at the door.” Bubba stuck his head into the little office at the back of the shop where Jace had just sat down for a meeting with a biker from the Chosen Few.
“Five-O?”
“Cops, boss. You don’t watch much television, do you?”
Jace stood up and the other biker came to his feet too. “Nope,” Jace said to Bubba. “What do they want?”
He shrugged. “They didn’t say, other than it had something to do with Finn.”
“Shit.” Jace looked at the new biker and said, “Go ahead and grab yourself a beer out of the fridge if you want. I’ll take care of this as quickly as I can.”
“Sure.” The blond-haired, blue-eyed kid was so pale that Jace wondered if they got any sun in Ireland at all. He was glad he had some experience listening to Finn talk, too, because the kid’s accent was so strong that some of what he’d said Jace’s brain hadn’t been able to interpret at all. So far what he knew was that the kid had been sent to see him by their allies in Ireland. He was a member of the Chosen Few back in Dublin, but for some reason he’d left Ireland and was looking for a new club. Why he was in Arizona or what he wanted from Jace exactly was still a mystery.
Jace followed Bubba out of the shop and over to the little building they were using temporarily as a clubhouse while the other was still being built. Two unmarked police cars were parked in front of the building and one SUV with the Maricopa County Sheriff logo on the side. One uniformed deputy and a man and a woman in plain clothes with badges clipped to their sides stood waiting by the door. Jace wondered what the hell Finn had done this time. The male detective spoke when Jace got close. “Hello there, are you Jason Bell?”
