by Mia Madison
I love those words. And he lifts me, but not like a fireman over his shoulder; he carries me in his arms with my hands around his neck, and he plants me on his bed. My bottom is glowing, but it’s not pain. It’s a kind of stinging burning heat that makes the whole of my lower body alive. In fact, the whole of me is alive with sensation, and with the thought of what’s about to happen. It’s already good, and we have so far to go.
I kick off my sandals, and Luke unhooks my bra, and drops it to the floor, nuzzling his face between my breasts as if he worships them. And then he pulls my panties fully off and I’m naked for him. He opens my thighs and kisses me there on my mound just once, almost chastely.
“Let me look at you while I undress,” he says, and he pulls his t-shirt over his head and unzips his jeans, pulling them and his underwear down in one shot.
Hell, he’s magnificent. I haven’t seen any totally naked men, but his body is to die for. There’s no comparison. I just know it. I always did somehow. He is all man. Not a hint of boy there. Strength and taut muscled perfection—everywhere.
“Did no one tell you it’s rude to stare?” He’s laughing. I must be gawking at him, at his chest, at his abs, and yes, at his cock, but I can tell he likes my reaction to him naked.
“Depends why you’re staring in my book. When I find something I want to draw, then there’s nothing wrong with staring.”
“Any time I’m naked, I can guarantee it won’t be because I want you to draw me. I have something else in mind. And it’s nothing like drawing.”
“What would that be then?” I’m teasing, but I’m suddenly nervous about the size of him, trying to take my mind off it.
“This.”
And he’s right there between my legs. He grabs a condom from the nightstand drawer, and I’m fascinated as he rolls it on, because I’ve never seen it done. I never thought to talk with him about this, but I’m pleased he’s taking care of it. It feels like he’s taking care of me without me having to ask.
He enters me slowly and surely, sinking into me, stretching me wide around him, but so carefully it’s as if he knows it’s my first time, though I’m sure he doesn’t. I squeal a little, and he looks at me questioningly, but he doesn’t ask. No matter how big he is, somehow I trust him not to hurt me too much.
I expect he thinks I’m squealing because of his size, but he glides in smoothly enough because I’m so wet and then it doesn’t matter at all that it’s my first time, the initial shock and slight sting are over and he’s deep inside me where I want him to be, where it feels so good. It’s like we are made to fit each other, he’s so deep in me, filling me right up.
“Oh, Olivia, so fucking tight,” he murmurs, as if I’m not meant to hear how good I feel to him. But I love hearing it.
And then he slides out and in again. The second time is even better than the first, and it’s even more so with the third and fourth and fifth time, each time harder and deeper than the last.
He goes faster now he can see I’m used to his size, and our bodies ram together, over and over, my hips rising to meet him, my thighs tight against his, skin against skin. He varies the angle as he takes me, as if he’s determined to make contact with every sensitive part of me inside and out until I can’t take any more pleasure.
I’ve made myself come many times, but I’ve never let myself go with anyone else. It was always all about them, what they wanted, but I can see Luke straining to hold back with muttered obscenities, grunting with each deep and powerful thrust, while he takes care of me and puts me first.
“Come for me,” he says. “I want to feel you come on my cock,” and his words help drive me over the edge though I’m pretty sure I was getting there anyway, spread wet and wide for him, frantic with raw need.
I feel heat and tremors run through my whole body, and my insides clench around his cock, again and again as I writhe and buck beneath him, and he groans out, burying his face in my breasts and releases deep inside me. Wow!
When we both come down from that, I can’t help a big beaming smile appearing on my face. I’m sure it matches the one on his. I feel so gloriously out-of-this-world happy to have done that, to have had my first time with him and for it to feel so good.
He removes the condom, knots it and wraps it in a Kleenex from the night stand. “Oh!” he says. There are flecks of blood, stark against the white tissue from the condom. “Are you having your period?”
“No. That was my… my first time.”
“You should have told me.” He holds me and kisses my hair. “Fuck! I spanked you before your first time. I took you so hard. I’d never have done that if I’d known.”
“It doesn’t matter. I liked it. All of it.”
“You did, didn’t you? You little minx. The way you tempted me. I’d never have known.” He grins at me again. “I love that I was your first.”
“I love that you were my first, too. You made it special.”
“Not as special as it’s going to be, baby. Every single time. I want you in my bed every night, but I think we’d better get you home before you’re missed.”
But it’s already too late. We just don’t know it yet.
CHAPTER 14
Luke
I’m knocked out that it’s Olivia’s first time. When she appeared naked in my hot tub, I thought she was a bit of a wild child, free-spirited, full of devilment, not an innocent wanting to give herself to me. It makes me feel more protective of her than ever and happy that she put herself out there so much just for me.
I want to wake with her in my bed, take her again and again, and give her breakfast, give her everything, but I can’t. I have to make sure she gets home to her own bed.
We’ll have to tell her parents we’re dating, because I know I won’t be able to keep away from her, and they will find out soon enough. I’m sure my feelings for her will be painted all over my face, and anyone who sees us together will know that we are not just neighbors.
I get a warm wash cloth and bathe her with it, gently in case she’s sore, but she says she’s not, she just feels limp. I can’t say I feel the same myself. I’m anything but limp with her in the room, even after that. But anyway, I gather up her clothes and dress her and sling on my jeans and t-shirt.
“You don’t need to get dressed,” she says. “I’m only next door. I think I can make it by myself.”
“I’m seeing you home. Don’t argue about that. There could be anyone lurking out there.”
But in the end, there’s no one hanging around in the shadows, just her parents arriving home as large as life. And they catch us in their headlights as we leave my front door to go to hers. Fuck!
Temporarily blinded by the lights, I can’t see their faces as the car turns into their garage, but they are out of the car within a few seconds.
“I wasn’t expecting you back so soon,” Olivia stammers. “What happened?”
“We decided to leave early,” her father says, “and just as well we did. Who’s this? What were you doing at the Millar’s place?”
“This is Luke. He’s staying there for a while. We were just having a pizza, watching TV.”
“Just pizza. Don’t lie to me, I can always tell when you’re lying.”
Looking at Olivia it’s obvious she’s not telling the truth from her red face, her seriously messed, just got out of bed hair, her red dress and shoes. That’s not a dress for watching TV. I need to come clean with her father.
“Look, sir. It’s not Olivia’s fault. I asked her over. We want to date. I’m serious about her.”
He looks at me as if he’s really looking at me for the first time. “I bet you are.”
“Do you know she’s only eighteen?” her mother says.
“Olivia told me her age. She’s not pretending to be older than she is.”
“Well, then. You must know you’re too old for her. She’s still a kid. She doesn’t know her own mind. She has all sorts of wayward ideas, and no doubt, you’re just another one of them
.”
“That’s not true, Mom,” Olivia pipes up. “I know exactly what I want. I’m not a kid anymore. I want to be with Luke.”
“Just get inside,” her mother says. “But you can forget that.”
“Don’t you dare so much as look at my daughter,” her father says. “Or you’ll live to regret it.”
I know it’s an empty threat, just words. But shit! Her parents! Meeting them for the first time couldn’t have gone worse.
How do we go on from here? I want her more than ever after tonight, and I can’t have her. Fuck!
CHAPTER 15
Olivia
I know I’m making it worse once we get inside but I can’t help myself arguing.
“You can’t tell me who I can see, Dad. This is ridiculous. He’s a fireman. Not Ted Bundy.”
“A fireman!” Mom says. “What’s wrong with Jed? He’s your age. He’s gotten into a good school. He’s going places. Did you break up with him, so you could see this fireman? A fireman who is what? Ten, twelve years older than you?”
I don’t like to tell them he’s older than that. They’ll have even more of a fit.
“Jed broke up with me! So he could go around Europe and see other girls. That’s how wrong you are about him. You know nothing. Luke is a better man than Jed, a million times better.”
“I can see what that man sees in you,” she says. “A young girl he can wind around his finger. He evidently has done that already, seeing the state of you, but what do you see in him? Is he turning your head with all sorts of nonsense?”
“He understands me.”
“I bet he does,” Dad says. “Well, you understand me for once. This stops right here tonight. You’re grounded.”
“Dad I’m not fifteen. You can’t ground me. I’m almost nineteen. You can’t keep me at home. I’m fed up with painting in the stupid back yard here. At least Luke understands my need to paint.”
“Listen to your father. You’re grounded. It will do you good to do some studying for once, and enough of this stupid painting idea. Think of your future. Everything we’ve done for you, it’s never enough, is it? This is the thanks we get. Taking up with a fireman years older than you!”
I’ve had it. I can’t listen to any more crap coming out of her mouth or his. I flounce off to my room with their words reverberating off the walls, following me up the stairs.
Tonight was so special, and they ruined it. Just like they always ruin everything. The birthday parties they never showed up to or were late for, or ones where they actually graced me with their presence, and then had to go off and make calls. The school events they said they’d go to, and then were too busy to attend. The complete lack of understanding about anything that means anything at all to me.
I grab my phone and text Luke.
“So sorry for that. They’re insane. They grounded me! It’s going to kill me. Olivia.”
I hear nothing for ten minutes. Then the reply comes back.
“Give them a chance to calm down. I miss you already. Luke.”
What? Does he mean to stay away from me? He’s being so adult and reasonable about it, and I can’t stand it. It’s as if he’s in on the same planet as them, trying to make me miserable.
I call him. “Do you mean I should just take it? I don’t think I can.”
“I don’t know, baby. It may be that the best way to get them to see reason is to behave as they want.”
“They’ll never see reason. They’re not reasonable people.”
“Olivia, are you calling that man? Get off at once.” Mom bursts into my room and snatches away my phone. I can hear Luke on the other end saying, “Mrs. Hudson,” but she ignores him. “I’m taking your phone. You do not speak to him. You do not call him. Do you understand?”
“It’s you who doesn’t understand. You’re just a spiteful bitch who doesn’t understand what love is.” Maybe I shouldn’t have said it, but that’s exactly how I feel right now. She gasps and cuts off the call.
Fuck! I’m sure Luke will want nothing to do with me now. Not with all this drama going on. Who needs it? I’m sure he doesn’t. I wish I was far away from my family, living by myself. I need to get another job. They made me give up the last one in an art gallery, because it was “interfering with my studies,” because I wanted to spend all the hours there I could.
I’m not putting up with this. They can forget it. But will Luke run a mile to get away from me and my stupid family now?
CHAPTER 16
Luke
It’s hopeless. Olivia’s parents are never going to accept me. And there’s no way I want to be responsible for her splitting from her family. Not when I’ve known her such a short time. I want her so much it will be torture to stay away, but I can’t get between them and take her away from her family. It’s too soon, and it’s not the right thing to do.
Will it ever be right? She will end up hating me, even if she doesn’t get on with her mom and dad now. They are her parents, the only family she has. What if I cause a rift with them and then it doesn’t work out between her and me? What would happen then?
I need to leave her alone and just suck it up, but I know she will take it badly, and I hate being the one to cause her distress.
The guys at the fire station are no good. They tell me just to get on with my life, and that there are plenty more fish in the sea, but I don’t want all those fish. I just want the one I can’t have. It’s fucking killing me.
After a few weeks mooning around, I even go on a double date to Luigi’s with Mark, his wife and her friend. The woman is newly divorced and dolled up for a night on the town, obviously open to taking things further, but she seems vapid to me, fluttering her fake eyelashes. The way she thrusts her cleavage in my face in her push up bra isn’t helping one bit. I have nothing in common with her, nothing to talk about, though she’s much closer in age to me than Olivia.
I keep wanting to duck out of view in case Olivia sees us. I know she’ll be unhappy if she does. I want to care for her, hold her in my arms, keep her safe, not upset her.
I’m relieved when Olivia is nowhere to be seen, though I’m anxious about it from the moment I meet the three of them at the restaurant right until I drop Ms. Air-head off at her front door and refuse her offer of coffee. Never again.
It’s not as if I never see Olivia. She’s around her house all the time, usually in the back yard in her little shorts, reading or gardening or sitting with her sketch book. I think she means to tempt me. Half the time I expect to find her in my hot tub when I get home, but she never surprises me like that again. My apartment is almost ready, and I’ll be back home soon. Maybe I’ll have more chance of forgetting her then, but I’m not convinced.
*
About a week after the stupid double date, I literally bump into Olivia as I come in from the gym and she’s going out. It’s awkward.
“How are you?” I ask. “Not grounded anymore?”
“They are never there so they realized it was hopeless trying to make me stay home. Besides they want me to run errands for them. I’m just going to the store.”
She ignored my first question, so I ask again. “How are you?”
“Okay.” Her eyes are full of pain. I can’t stand being the source of that.
“You know we can’t do anything else, don’t you? I can’t be the cause of a rift with your family.”
“It’s already broken. You’re not the cause, believe me,” she says.
“I’ll be out of here soon,” I say. “Out of your hair. You’ll soon forget me. You can date a nice guy your parents can accept.” But I don’t believe it as I say it. Why am I even saying that? Am I trying to convince myself?
“Even if you don’t want me, I’ll never forget you,” she says.
“Oh, Olivia, of course I want you. How can you think anything else? I’ve been miserable these past few weeks.”
“Not miserable enough to stay in touch and stand up to them. I don’t care what they think. I real
ly don’t.”
“They’re your family, Olivia. You don’t care now. But you will later. And you’ll hold it against me.”
“I’ll never do that.” She rushes off then with a sob on her way to the store, and I feel like the lowest of the low. I did this to her. Me! Not her parents. Me! But I don’t know how to put anything right, caught like I am between a rock and a hard place.
CHAPTER 17
Olivia
Luke is so wrong. But how can I make him see that? My parents will always be my parents. Whatever I do, they’ll complain. Even if I go to the local community college, get better grades, and then go to college and get a degree, they’ll always find something to gripe about, because they are never satisfied themselves.
They always want more than they have, something better, more money. They can’t see that they will never be happy like that. They are so caught up in it all, it’s ridiculous. If I could just make them sit down and see reason, they might stop trying to make me be a carbon copy of them.
I start a new set of paintings—one of my parents and one of Luke, but they’ll never recognize themselves in them. My parents are just a set of cog wheels going around and around in the picture, and Luke is a kingfisher by a lake, colorful and free when I paint him. That’s how I see them.
I want Luke, but I can’t make him see that my parents are wrong for me, wrong in every way about me. They are older than either of us, but it doesn’t make them wise, not even close.
Then I paint another pair of pictures and put the kingfisher in the city and the city workers by the lake and all the ideas just come together, the color of the kingfisher in the dreary gray business district, the black and white city workers by the beautiful lake. They are the best paintings I’ve ever done. I want Luke to see them. Can I go next door and ask him to look at them?
