After we ate, the kids ran around the yard. Ben made up some outside version of Five Nights at Freddy’s, and Shelley went along with it. They ducked behind bushes, pretending to hide from the creepy characters Ben liked in the game.
I kept a close eye on them while I made a couple of calls on my cell phone. First, I contacted someone in the office at Ben’s school and then I called Shelley’s pre-school. I wanted to double check the start time. Filling in for my sister was hard, but the last thing I wanted to do was take them to school late on their first day. Ben had to be there at eight o’clock and Shelley started at nine-thirty.
As nervous as they were, I was twice as worried. I didn’t want to screw up something as important as school. Thank god Madeline was prepared, with the school supplies and new clothes…
‘Let’s go to the woods!’ Ben was sweating profusely, his too long hair dipping into his eyes and sticking to the tops of his ears.
‘I thought we did that at dinner time,’ I said, trying to stall the inevitable as I kept my voice even and cool. The last thing I wanted to do was have another freak out, but how long could I avoid those woods?
‘But it feels like dinner time! We just ate! Please…’
Shelley looked hopeful, too, puckering out her bottom lip.
‘Fine.’ Brushing crumbs from my lap and tucking my cell phone inside my back pocket, I headed across the yard to meet them. In the butter-yellow sunlight, the path looked a little less frightening today…
Holding my breath, I walked, hand-in-hand, with Shelley and Ben to the mouth of the woods. I don’t know who was holding onto who – most likely, it was me who needed their support.
The path was steeper than I remembered, and suddenly, I was worried the kids would tumble down it, and into the brambles on the forest floor.
‘Wait, don’t let go of my hand!’
But they didn’t listen. They pushed and tumbled their way down the hill, shouting back and forth at each other, their voices shrill and disturbing as they bounced off the trees.
‘I won!’ Shelley cheered.
‘No, I won!’ Ben’s cheeks were red like shiny apples as he raced after his little sister. I was still standing at the entrance, at the top of the hill. My own feet slipped and wobbled as I forced myself to move.
I made my way down the steep incline. The ground was soupy and slick from recent rain. I grappled for branches and leaves, anything to slow me down, but there was no use – my feet swished out from under me, and suddenly, I was sledding down the hill on my backside.
‘Guys, stay put there. Wait for me!’ The back of my pants was soaked. I dug my fingers into the mud and pushed myself up to my feet. I expected the kids to be giggling by now, having a laugh at their silly, clumsy Aunt Em.
But they were running again, farther into the trees, with Ben taking the lead this time. ‘No, no! Let me win!’ Shelley screamed, her tiny legs pumping as she leapt over rocks and the remnants of someone’s pulpy fast food cup.
Back on my feet, I took off after them, the trees closing in around me like a cocoon.
Ben was headed straight for the creek, but my vision was off – was that Ben or Shelley ducking behind those trees?
‘Wait, please…’ I moaned, trying to walk a straight line and will my eyes to focus and find the children.
I hadn’t been down here in a long time, but I still remembered the layout. With the recent storms, the water in the creek would be up, high enough to whisk Ben or Shelley away, all the way to Moon Lake…
‘Guys, please wait for me!’ I was running now. Tree limbs looked like bony claws reaching out for me, roots like serpents twisting around my ankles. I ran with all my might, pure terror boiling up in the pit of my stomach as I lost sight of both of them. Madeline would kill me if anything happened to them, oh god!
‘Shelley! Ben!’ My screams were shrill and frightened, like tiny little needles in the air.
A branch poked me hard in the shin, more branches slapping my face as leaves cartwheeled around me through the thickening trees. I stopped, spinning around in circles. The sunlight from earlier was gone, replaced by a big black shadow hovering above the trees. Was it real, or was it my imagination?
‘Where are you guys?’ I shouted, frantically.
Instinctively, I walked in what I hoped was the direction of the creek. I heard it before I saw it, the bubbly sound of water rumbling over stones.
I stopped at the edge of it, staring down into the water. Water will cool and calm me down. I knelt down beside the creek, my head roaring with pain, every blink flashed with red, red, red … and that’s when I saw the blood. Red swirls of it running down my leg. My own reflection stared back at me in the water – a wild stranger, bloody and crazed.
It’s me. It’s just me. Isn’t it? I blinked once, twice, staring at my own grim face in the water’s mirrored shine. There really was a streak of blood running down my face.
Suddenly, like a flash, I was falling. My arms pinwheeling, my feet slicing through the air like scissors … I’m falling down, down, until my head collides with the edge of a jagged rock. Pain explodes from my head, radiating through the rest of my body. This must be what dying feels like … but the pain of the blow doesn’t stop there. Again, and again, my head collides with the rock, the pain so real and brutal, so terrifying, that I no longer can even feel it … all I can see, and taste is dirt, thick chalky globs of it in my mouth … this is it: I’m dead.
‘Oh, god. No, no, no…’ Holding my head down between my knees, I gasp for air. The flashback was so disorienting, so real, that I could feel the injury all over again. Most of all, I could taste the fear in my mouth.
Cool wet hands brushed my cheeks. ‘Aunty Emmy, you okay?’ Shelley was kneeling in front of me. She had this calm, motherly look about her, like she was thirty instead of three.
‘Thank god you’re okay. Where’s Ben?’ I rasped.
‘I’m here.’ Ben stepped out from where he’d been hiding behind a thick oak tree. His hair was ruffled and sweaty, sticking to the sides of his face and covering up one eye.
‘Were you both hiding from me? Don’t ever do that again.’ My teeth clenched together – I was furious. Why did they do that to me? I swiped at the blood on my cheek; I must have gotten scratched by a branch while I was running.
‘We always race down the hill and pick a tree to hide behind. Mom lets us.’
Before I could respond, he asked, ‘Where’s my mommy?’ again. This time, I ignored him.
Shelley’s inquisitive eyes were still fixated on me. ‘What’s wrong with you? You looked like you were going crazy. We were right here, but you were spinning and spinning, acting like a scary person.’ She spun her finger around in a circle next to her own temple, and suddenly, my anger dissipated. Shelley was wise beyond her years, her face solemn.
‘Help me up, please.’ Shelley and Ben each gave me a hand, and I pushed myself up off the ground. I was shocked to see that there was blood on my knee and elbows. Touching my face, I discovered another thin cut below my eye. Tiny drops of blood seeped out from it, but they were only minor scratches; not the rushing, roar of blood I saw in my mind when I peered at myself in the water…
‘What was wrong with you?’ Shelley asked again. I pointed for both of them to go back up the path, still trying to catch my breath. It was time to go in.
I stared at my feet, one right after the other … forcing myself not to look at the trees again. I just need to get out of here, and then I’ll be okay again.
Clearing my throat, I said, ‘When I was little, I hurt myself in these woods. I had a concussion and was in the hospital for days afterwards. I know I told you guys about it already, but it was pretty serious. I was too scared to go in the woods again after it happened. Do you know what a concussion is?’
Shelley shrugged, but Ben nodded. His face was twisted up with worry again.
‘You guys have to be careful in these woods. I know you were only playing, but one misstep, one
wrong turn…’ Another image flashed in my mind. A tunnel of water all around me, and the milky green surface of the lake, only I was looking up at it from below. Lying on the rocky bottom of the lake bed… But that memory made no sense. Where did that come from?
I shuddered, shaking off my coat of fear as the path widened and we found ourselves back in my sister’s backyard. My breathing became normal again, my chest burning with relief.
‘How about more pasta for dinner? Do you guys like fettucine?’ They nodded enthusiastically, then took off again, racing each other back to the house. I let out a whoosh of breath, trying to still my shaky nerves. I’d never gotten over what happened to me in those woods. I was missing moments, but those moments – whatever occurred – must have been pretty traumatic. I thought I was going to die that day … how could a simple fall cause that much fear?
‘Emily?’ I was shocked to see John crossing the yard, walking toward us.
‘What are you doing here?’ As soon as I said it, I felt ridiculous. This was his house and his yard after all. Technically, he had more of a right to be here than me.
He seemed to be thinking the same thing as he scrunched his nose up at me.
‘Daddy!’ Ben and Shelley squealed. They lunged into their father’s arms. He knelt on the ground in front of them, squeezing them tightly. Maybe he missed them after all, I considered.
‘We just got back from the woods. Do you want to go back down there with us?’ Ben pleaded.
John patted Ben’s head. ‘No, buddy. I came here to talk to your Aunt Emily. Let’s go inside now. You two can find something to do while we have a chat, yes?’
Shelley and Ben’s faces went limp with disappointment.
‘What do you want to talk about, John?’ His smiling demeanor melted away as he looked over at me.
‘What happened to you?’ he asked, staring at the scratches on my face, legs, and arms.
‘I took a tumble down the hill. Didn’t realize how steep it was. What do you want to talk about?’ I repeated.
‘We’ll discuss that inside.’ And just like that, he was walking toward the back door, the kids trotting after him. Feeling as though I had no other choice, I followed too.
John entered the house first, his hands tucked behind his back. He paced back and forth in the kitchen, looking it over as though he hadn’t seen it before. What a dick.
Even though this was his house, I couldn’t help feeling violated. It didn’t feel like he belonged in this space, and simply put, I didn’t trust him. He hadn’t given me one reason to trust him yet, and I remembered my sister’s letter to him…
The kids took off through the dining room, running to their rooms to play. Initially, they had been so excited to see their father, but now the thrill had worn off as though the fact that their father had been gone for weeks was no big deal. I immediately got the sense that Madeline did everything for the children, and John did very little.
I leaned against the counter, feeling defensive. What does this asshole want? Does he know where Madeline is?
John stood in front of the refrigerator, his hands mashed down on his hips, staring at a flier that was tacked to the door. Swim lessons.
Finally, he turned around to face me, his eyes hard and mean. I tried to conjure up memories of him at the wedding … John laughing and smiling, twirling Madeline around in circles. He had seemed pleased to meet me. I think he even kissed my hand when she introduced us for the first time. One word to describe John then – charming. He had seemed like the perfect husband. But now he seemed anything but, his expression and movements were arrogant, and frankly, they were a little intimidating.
‘Where is she?’ John hissed, smacking a hand down on the counter top.
Startled, I said nothing for several seconds.
‘I have friends in the police department. So, of course they told me that my wife was missing. Why didn’t you call me sooner?’
I shrugged, then said, ‘Honestly, I didn’t know how to get a hold of you. Or that you would even care. And I was hoping she would show back up in a day or two.’
‘Did she say where she was going?’
‘Of course not. If she had, she wouldn’t be missing, would she? Do you have any idea where she might have gone?’
John’s eyes narrowed. ‘Why would I? I have a new girlfriend now.’
I shushed him, shocked at his loud announcement. The kids probably weren’t listening in, but I would have thought he’d want to keep his new relationship to himself for a while.
‘I just mean, I thought maybe she called you? Or she mentioned something to you – about taking a trip or needing some time without the kids…?’
John shook his head. ‘No, she didn’t. We haven’t talked for weeks. But frankly, I’m not surprised. Madi doesn’t handle stress well.’
‘What does that mean?’ My chest tightened in anger. How dare he?
‘She doesn’t handle the kids well. Look at all of the problems Ben has…’
‘His condition isn’t her fault,’ I snapped.
‘Condition,’ John mimicked, using quotes in the air. ‘Being spoiled isn’t a condition.’
I was so furious, I couldn’t speak. How could my sister have loved this man?
‘And why are you here, anyway? You’ve never made any effort to spend time with my kids. Now all of a sudden, you come to visit like you’re their favorite aunt. What’s up with that?’
‘Speaking of spending time with the kids, you haven’t been too worried about them yourself lately. Madeline said you haven’t been by to see them in weeks.’
For the first time, John smiled at me. All his teeth were showing and for some reason, I thought about a hungry lion in the jungle. ‘Well, that’s about to change.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I’m coming back to pick them up tonight at seven. Starla and I will keep them with us until Madi returns. You’re free to go on home, if you want.’
Stunned, I opened my mouth to speak. Nothing came out but a small huffing sound.
‘But they start school tomorrow. Have you even thought about that?’
John’s smile grew even wider. ‘I’m sure Madi already bought their supplies. Pack those up for me. And get a couple weeks’ worth of clothes together, too. I’ll be back to get them tonight, so don’t give me any trouble. Those kids need to stay with their father.’
CHAPTER NINE
The woods were all but forgotten. The kids were taking turns playing on the Wii, and I was frantically stuffing school supplies and school clothes into boxes. I tried to focus on the task at hand, but my eyes were filmy with tears and I couldn’t stop shaking.
Finally, I sat back on my heels and stared at the supplies, feeling helpless. I was more convinced than ever that John was somehow responsible for Madeline’s disappearance.
My sister said he hadn’t come by in weeks, but maybe that was because he was biding his time and waiting for her to drop her guard. She’d disappeared during the middle of the night. Plus, John was the only person I knew of who had a key to the house. He could have easily just walked right in, incapacitated my sister, and carried her away somewhere.
A small whimper escaped through my lips as I thought about the possibilities.
‘Aunty Emmy, are you okay?’ I hadn’t heard Shelley come upstairs behind me. She stood in the doorway, her head tilted to the side.
‘I’m fine, sweetheart.’ I opened my arms and Shelley climbed on my lap. I kissed her forehead and rosy cheeks, I pinched her tiny button nose. ‘Your daddy is coming to get you tonight. He wants you guys to stay with him and his friend for a while, just until Mommy gets back.’
‘Is she his girlfriend?’ Shelley was so innocent-sounding, but the question shocked me.
‘Have you met Daddy’s friend, Starla, before?’ How could she possibly know of her already?
Slowly, Shelley nodded. I could tell she was holding something back and it broke my heart. That bastard. It was bad enough to cheat,
but it was even worse that his three-year-old daughter knew he was doing it.
‘Daddy gets days off sometimes. When Mommy goes to work, and Ben goes to school, sometimes Starla comes over.’
I stared at my niece, shell-shocked. I’d nearly forgotten about the fact that Shelley hadn’t gone to school up until this point.
‘Weren’t you at daycare on those days?’
‘Not when Daddy is home. If he stays home from work, Mommy leaves me home with him. The babysitter is expletive.’
‘You mean expensive,’ I said, softly. My eyes were cloudy with tears and for the first time, I seriously considered what it would feel like to kill someone. If I was going to do it, I’d pick that asshole, John. How could he? Not only did he have the nerve to cheat, but he was bringing her back here on his days off – to the house he shared with my sister – while his daughter was home. Disgusting.
‘Is Starla nice, honey? Have you ever spoken to her?’
Shelley shrugged. ‘She’s okay. Doesn’t talk much. I think she is in love with my daddy.’
I held Shelley close, unsure how to answer that. I rubbed her head and fought back more tears that were threatening to come.
How could I let the kids go with him when he might have hurt my sister?
But the truth was, I had no other choice. I couldn’t keep these kids from their father. I was only their aunt – an aunt they’d met for the first time just a couple of days ago. John was right. I was overstepping my bounds.
Ben came trotting up the steps, making that squealing noise he always made. I wondered if some of his repetitive behaviors brought him comfort, soothed him.
I tried to imagine Ben with his father – a father who didn’t even believe he had autism or ADHD symptoms.
Ben plopped down on the floor beside us. I nudged him toward me, holding them both on my lap now. I won’t cry. I can’t. I must be strong for Madi.
The first thing I was going to do when they left was call Paul. I would tell him about my suspicions of John and what happened today and see if he could get a search warrant for the house John shared with Starla.
My Sister is Missing Page 9
