by C. R. Jane
Mercy rolls her eyes and tosses a pillow at me. I catch it and hurl it back into her face, then laugh. But the laugh sounds strange. It feels wrong to be happy.
“I have a better plan.” She reaches for her laptop in her bag and clicks it on. “Let’s watch a movie, something to make us laugh. I don’t want to cry anymore.”
“What do you have in mind?”
She pats the bed next to her, and I crawl over.
“Land of The Lost.”
“What’s that?” I shuffle in next to her and stretch my legs out as she presses play.
“Only the funniest movie in the world. Get ready, this is a rollercoaster ride.”
I somehow doubt that, but I’m ready to be proven wrong. I’m ready to try any distraction to forget about today.
“Surprise pop quiz,” Ms. Hickle announces, and the entire class groans.
Mercy is rolling her eyes and slouches back in her seat, her tight curls bouncing over her shoulders in her dramatic pose. For the past week, she’s shared my room, and every night we’ve watched movies, TV shows, reruns...basically anything but study. Not to mention my floor is covered in her clothes. She hasn’t gone back to her room in days, and I can’t blame her.
“Told you we should’ve studied,” I whisper, but she shakes her head.
“Have you read The Sparrow’s Wing?” she asks.
I look down at the reading material from Ms. Hickle, the cover of a single gray wing, bloody as if it had been ripped from the bird’s corpse. The image makes me feel uncomfortable. It’s the tale of an underprivileged girl who loses her family to a tragic accident and ends up on the streets. Everyone who helps her ends up using her in one way or another. It’s super depressing, but it touched something inside me to see her keep fighting when everything in her life went wrong. In the end, she died. I hated the ending.
“Yeah, I’ve unfortunately read it.”
Mercy shuffles her seat and table closer to mine when the teacher isn’t looking. “Thank god, I read the first chapter and it was so depressing, I couldn’t read it.”
Ms. Hickle hands out the test and stops in front of our desks. “Ms. Jones, move your desk two feet away. And put the book away.”
“She’s not going to cheat,” Mercy declares, and I eye her since she’s the one wanting to look at my book. Mercy doesn’t look at me.
The teacher isn’t budging so I drag my seat table backward until I reach the rear wall. Ms. Hickle places my test face down on my desk while I stuff the book back into my bag.
“You have fifty minutes. Once you’re done, put your hand up and you can leave class. Start.” She walks through the class before settling down at her desk and picking up a book to read.
Mercy is eyeing me as if she might be trying to read my thoughts.
A loud bang comes from the teacher’s desk. “Mercy move to the front, now,” Ms. Hickle orders sternly.
My friend groans so loud, every eye turns to her. I catch Clarissa’s gaze from the corner of the room, her eyes narrow in my direction, her lips twisting in a crooked line. She might have left me alone for the past week, but that didn’t mean she hated me any less.
I lower my gaze to my test and flip over the page, then I dive in.
Upon completing the final question, I stretch my back and look over at the clock on the wall. Finished it in thirty-five minutes. Perfect.
“Finished,” Clarissa calls out, and I’m shocked. I never took her as someone who studies, I was pretty sure the blowjobs were her way to get good grades. I didn’t think Ms. Hickle was into that sort of thing.
But then again, with whatever is going on between her and Mr. Dusk, it probably ends up with her getting cheat sheets.
Once she leaves the room, I put my hand up.
“Are you done?” Ms. Hickle asks, and I nod.
“Okay, you can leave.”
I collect my bag and test, then make my way down the middle of the class. Mercy’s pleading eyes meet mine. She’s like a cute puppy dog, begging for food. I glance quickly at her paper to see she’s still on question six. I mouth the words, plane crash, and quickly rush to the front before Ms. Hickle busts us.
Once I hand over the test, I take one last look at my friend who’s busily scribbling her response.
Out in the hallway, it’s quiet and I make my way to the lockers. I punch in my pin and then stuff my bag inside. I’m in the process of grabbing my history book for the next class when a hand shoves into the middle of my back so hard I slam into the lockers, face first.
“Ooops! My mistake,” comes Clarissa’s voice.
I wince and push off the metal wall, hating Clarissa in that moment more than I’ve ever hated anyone else. I try to not hate people, but her persistence in making my life hell has changed my stance on that. Adrenaline surges through me, and I turn to face her smug grin.
“I’m surprised you’re still showing your face around here,” she says, her hand striking out, her nails scratching my face.
Fury bursts through me, and I lunge at her before I can think straight. My frustrated scream and fist to her face catches her off guard, and she stumbles backward.
Ravenously, she turns on me so fast that her movements are a blur.
My head is screaming to run, to remember she threw Alexander off his feet in that fight I saw her in when Mercy and I were spying. But I ignore its warnings. I meet her head on, punching her as hard as I can. I scratch, kick, and claw at her, trying to hit back as hard as she has hit me.
Her strikes catch me on the jaw, my arms, my chest, but I keep going. I’m fueled by anger, and my adrenaline is so high that I barely feel the pain from her blows. Every swing I make I think about all the times she pushed me, humiliated me. She took the guys away from me. She made the whole freaking school think I’m a slut.
So much raw rage burns in my chest. It’s hard to breathe.
I don’t stop… I can’t. It feels like I’m moving through the air, unable to feel her assault.
“Enough,” a voice growls behind me, and all of a sudden, I’m hauled backwards by my shirt.
I’m fuming though, seeing red like never before. I swing around, fists raised, and I come face to face with Alexander. The first thing I see are his stormy blue eyes…
It’s always the eyes. They capture me and draw me in.
“Did you do that?” he asks, gesturing behind me in surprise.
Clarissa lets out a moan.
I glance over my shoulder, and I’m shocked to see that she’s kneeling on the ground, bruises forming under her left eye. She’s nursing a busted lip and a bloody nose. Her expression is of pure shock...and fear.
A shudder runs through me. I did that? I think I blacked out from how angry I was. While I should feel remorse, I don’t. That’s scary enough as it is.
“How did you do that?” Alexander growls. He fists my shirt in his hand. “Who are you?” he asks me bizarrely, staring intently into my eyes as he’s prone to do as if he’s looking for something again. His question takes me off guard.
Does he see me as a monster because I actually stood up for myself?
I face him and tilt my head back, my breaths coming fast. “You know who I am? I’m a girl who’s had enough of this shit school and all the shit people in it.”
Not waiting for his response, I walk away, my whole body shaking at what I’d just done.
I’m practically running down the hallway, ignoring everyone who’s pouring out of the classes and blocking my path. I shove past them. My body is burning up and my heart is racing.
When I finally pause, I find myself standing near the science labs. People are everywhere, swarming around. My breath rattles down to my lungs.
Backing out of the path of a girl running to class, I press my back to the wall, dazed. A heavy feeling settles over in my stomach. All I can see is the fear on Clarissa’s face, the shock on Alexander’s.
Who are you?
His words annoy me. He expects me to stay in my place just
like everyone else.
I plan on showing him how wrong he’s been about me.
I pull out my phone, typing out a text to send Mercy about what just happened when a familiar male’s voice comes from around the corner I’m standing near.
I peer out from the corner and see Professor London and Finn, facing each other and chatting in loud whispers. I jerk back and flatten my back to the wall, the situation reminding me of their whispers back in Professor London’s room when Mercy was sick. Listening carefully, I try to catch onto their words.
“The rules are in place for a reason,” Mr. London hisses. “Break them and everything crumbles.”
“So, what are we going to do?” Finn’s voice is guttural, angrier than I’ve ever heard it.
“We don’t want this reaching the council. We need to take care of it ourselves!”
What in the world are they talking about? The council? How was the local government involved? And who broke the rules?
Their voices fade, and I look around the corner to find them walking away.
What exactly is going on at Raven Academy?
Chapter 16
It’s been a hell of a week. I failed my test in chemistry and then today one of Clarissa’s cronies tripped me in the lunchroom, making me fall face first into my tray of food. The whole school seemed to be there and of course everyone laughed. I had always thought it was so cliché when I watched scenes like that in movies. As it turns out, it’s pretty freaking embarrassing for it to happen to you. I don’t think I’m ever going to get the smell of ketchup out of my hair. But one thing for sure is that after my retaliation toward Clarissa, her determination on revenge has just gone up another level. It’s not enough for her to hate me, she’s turning other students against me too.
I’m heading towards class from my room where I had just changed since I didn’t want to wear mashed potatoes for the rest of the day. A group of girls pass me, whispering to each other as they watch me. I know they’re talking about me. It seems the whole school is.
Suddenly, I turn right down an empty hallway. Slinking into an alcove, I sink to the floor, exhaustion suddenly overwhelming me.
I can’t do it. I’m so tired of everything. I want to run and hide and never come out.
It’s so dramatic, but it’s how I feel at the moment. I’ve never been the type that needed a lot of friends. I’ve never needed more than one actually. But right now, when it seems like the entire world hates me, I’m feeling pretty sorry for myself.
Fat tears slide down as I bury my face in my legs, my tears turning into raging torrents as I begin to sob harder. I probably should just go back to my room and do this but there’s a certain misery that comes with sitting on a cold, stone floor in an empty hallway.
I’m a mess.
“Adeline?” comes a soft, smooth voice that’s filled many of my dreams at night…and during the day.
I groan and look up to see Professor London standing in front of me. I hadn’t even heard him walk up.
“Go away,” I sob, not caring if I’m being disrespectful or not.
He crouches down in front of me, concern etched across his face.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asks.
The endearment is more than I can stand, and I start to cry harder.
He touches my chin and sparks seem to emanate from the contact. “I can’t fix it, if you don’t talk to me,” he says.
I stare into his eyes. “What if I say that everything is wrong. What will you do then?”
He smirks, and I can’t help but think that he’s ridiculously sexy, even in my misery it’s impossible to not notice.
“I’m sure that it’s not that bad.”
“Oh, you mean that having a fake sex tape isn’t bad? Or what about getting pushed and shoved up in the hallways and cafeteria. Oh yeah, you’re right. Falling face first into my mashed potatoes in front of half the school was really nothing,” I mutter sarcastically.
“Obviously you aren’t giving Professor Dusk blowjobs,” he says, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure no one actually believes that.”
“Really? Have you talked to Alexander lately? Or what about Dante? They seem to be under the impression that I’m now getting “help” with my grades.”
Professor London grimaces.
“Alexander and the rest of them are...complicated,” he starts to say.
“And you? Are you complicated as well? Because I’m getting mixed signals all over the place with you,” I say harshly, my misery turning into anger. I shouldn’t have said anything, but my head is so messed up, the words fall from my mouth.
He closes his eyes as if I’ve pained him. “I’m probably more complicated than the rest of them put together,” he says reluctantly. “But it doesn’t mean that I don’t care. There’s just things you don’t know...”
“You’re right, I don’t know anything,” I snap harshly. “But what I do know, is that I’m sick of everything. And I’m sick of this weirdness between us. What exactly is going on with us?”
He’s silent for a moment. “I’m just a professor concerned about his student,” he finally says reluctantly, standing up.
I close my eyes in disappointment.
“Well Professor, I would say that comforting your student in abandoned hallways probably isn’t appropriate then. I’ll see you in class.” I drag myself to my feet and storm away. I can’t help but glance back at him. He looks worn down. His shoulders are hunched over, and I watch as he rubs a hand tiredly over his face. For a second, I feel guilty about what I just said considering that he was trying to comfort me.
I quickly brush the guilt away and turn the corner so I can’t see him anymore. He’s nothing but a complication that I can’t deal with at the moment. And maybe I’m just imagining him liking me, maybe I’m wishing for something I can’t have.
“I think you should just talk to them. Finn was sending me glances today in class that totally meant he wanted me to talk to you about them,” says Mercy as she carefully paints her toenails.
I look at her shocked. “You’re not talking about the same four guys that were total assholes to me after the Professor Dusk fiasco, right?” I ask in disbelief.
“It’s obvious you’re miserable without them,” she says insistently as she spills her bright red nail polish on my comforter. “Oops.” She stares at me apologetically.
“It’s fine.” I get up to grab a wet towel to clean it up. What Mercy is saying is tempting. But then again, this is someone who dates drug dealers. She’s not exactly the best judge of people. But it’s not as if I’ve made the best decisions either. I’m pining over a teacher for freaking sake.
But when it comes to the four guys, I haven’t really talked to them about anything. And I’ve gotten the same looks from all of them, even from Nyx who I barely know. Maybe I can be the bigger person and just try and smooth things over. Make things tolerable between us, though I wonder if being just friends who exchange hellos in the hallways will be enough. In their presence, something shifts inside me, draws me to them. Yep, Professor London was right, it’s not just them who are complicated. Plus, it’s not like school could get worse if I try.
I knock on my wooden desk three times just in case I’ve just jinxed myself with that thought.
“I guess I could talk to them,” I finally respond in defeat.
Mercy’s mouth pulls into a wide smirk. “I saw Alexander heading towards his room earlier. He’s in the west wing, room 113. Go talk to him.”
Groaning, I get up and brush my hair a little bit before opening the door. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” I ask Mercy before I step out into the hallway.
“Duh. Go get yourself some hotties.” She waves me away before resuming painting her nails.
I sigh and stalk out of the room, closing the door behind me.
On the way to Alexander’s room, I change my mind several times. I’m sure to anyone who sees me, I must look like a freak turning around every five seconds. The
five-minute walk takes three times as long because of my indecision.
I finally reach Alexander’s hallway. There’s no one around and I give a sigh of relief that I won’t have spectators watching the embarrassing event. Though having even just Alexander there is painful enough.
As I get closer to the door though, any fear I have about other people being around disappears because of what I’m hearing. There are low male voices coming from Alexander’s room...mixed in with the panting of what unmistakably sounds like a girl getting it good.
I stand in front of the door, listening, not able to comprehend what I’m hearing. Are they watching a porno on TV?
My mind is muddled, and I can’t stop myself from reaching for the doorknob even though I can feel that what lies beyond the doors is going to break my heart...or break me.
The sounds of ecstasy heighten, and I press open the door, taking a deep breath to try and steel myself.
But nothing can prepare me.
A girl I’ve never seen before is laying on Alexander’s bed. Her dress is pulled down and she’s writhing on the bed. Alexander is half on top of her, his shirt off and his lips hovering right above her. Dante’s head is buried in the crook of her neck and I watch as he brushes kisses against her skin. I let out a soft shriek and they both look up at me in shock.
“Adeline,” Dante growls, his eyes appearing out of focus.
Alexander pulls away but says nothing as he glares at me. It’s only the flicker of pain in his eyes that lets me know he even sees me at all.
“I’m sorry,” I stupidly say as I rush from the room. I’m not sure what I apologized for since I’m the one who feels like my heart is going to pound out of my chest from the pain.
We hadn’t made promises. And they had been clear about where I stood when they cornered me in the room that day and told me just how little they thought of me.
So why am I letting it hurt me so much now? I feel betrayed, which is idiotic and dumb. I’d been warned about them, yet I still pined for them like a fool.
I run back to my room, tears pooling in my eyes; my heart is slamming into my ribcage.
