by Jenn Vakey
I laughed and nodded, grabbing another board to lay down. “I’ve noticed. The problem has been keeping her out of it.”
“She’s not the same person she was when she left,” he said, moving another board into place. “That girl has always been spirited. Just like her mother, bless her. I saw the way she was when she fought, though. I thought we were in trouble when those Sentry attacked. I’ll admit, I nearly panicked when I saw her rushing right back at them. But there was something so graceful about the way she moved. Powerful.”
I smiled, agreeing with him entirely. In all of my time in Alkwin, I had never seen someone fight the way she did. Her body just flowed with every movement she made. It was almost like she had been born to do it. She was a gifted Healer, but Eden had messed up when they didn’t make her a Sentry. Even as a woman, she would have been one of their best.
It was different talking to someone else about her like this. Not just someone who knew her, but someone who had known her before. Someone who could see the changes in her beyond just her advancement when it came to fighting. But the way she had grown on the inside.
“She’s pretty amazing,” I said, not afraid to admit it to him. “She’s fierce, with everything she does. One of the bravest people I’ve ever met. I’m going to get her back out on the training field as soon as possible. Even if it doesn’t get her memories back, at least she’ll be able to defend herself. It’ll make her feel strong again.”
Dallin nodded. “I’d like to help with training. I saw the lists after the meeting. You only have two Sentry trained out of everyone that came in.”
I was grateful for his offer. We were going to need all the help we could get now. Usually we only needed to train a few new people at a time. Once they knew the basics, they just joined the rotation and worked with whoever was available. We didn’t have that option now. Dex wasn’t going to just sit back and wait to see if we went after the city again. Not now that everyone knew the truth. He would be coming after us, and we needed to be ready.
✽✽✽
I rushed through my shower so I could make it to the dining hall just as lunch was starting. It was a struggle not to go straight from the house to hunt down Leeya. I told her I would give her space, so that was what I was going to do.
My eyes searched her out immediately when I walked into the dining hall. It didn’t take long at all. Leeya, Lillith, and Paxton were all sitting at the normal table with Aarys. I couldn’t hear them from where I stood in the doorway, but Aarys’ animated movements said she was entertaining them. She had always been good at making people feel welcome.
I looked around the room as I walked toward the line to get my plate. In all my time in Alkwin, I had never seen it so crowded. While our established citizens normally trickled in during the lunch hour, it looked like all of the new people were already here. It wasn’t surprising. It took a while for people to get used to the more lax structure of living here. To them, when you’re told to be somewhere at a specific time, you’d better be there.
Gryffin was sitting with Orson and Faida at their normal table. I considered going over to join them, knowing they were talking about things I needed to know. Although I let the thought cross my mind, I didn’t seriously consider it. I wanted to see Leeya more.
Aarys looked up and gave me a thoughtful smile. She was only one of a handful of people in Alkwin who knew about Leeya and me. Not everything, but enough to know that I was struggling more than I was actually showing. For someone as talkative as she was, at least she was able to keep a secret when needed. Aside from Orson, Leeya, and myself, she was the only person who knew the real story behind Leeya’s arrival in Alkwin. Lamont knew some, but his knowledge on the subject was limited. Truth be told, Aarys probably knew more about it than even I did.
Despite wanting to, I didn’t sit down next to Leeya. Instead, I took the empty seat to Aarys’ left, who was sitting across from Leeya. Only a couple moments passed before the rest of the usual group joined us. I was actually surprised that so many people were here and not catching up on sleep. Like me, I had a feeling that most of the people who had gone into Eden with us were still too wired to get any rest right now.
Leeya looked to me as the seats started to fill up. I could see those nerves there that she was trying hard to hide. I gave her a nod, letting her know she could do this. She was strong, even if she didn’t know it herself. There wasn’t anything my girl couldn’t handle.
“You know,” Zaydan said, sitting down in the seat next to Leeya like it was any other day. He glanced in her direction, then looked across the table to me. “Just because we were getting a new one didn’t mean you guys needed to break the original.” He nudged Leeya with his elbow, giving her a wide grin when she looked over in shock.
“I think Leeya might be onto something,” Auggie chimed in. He sat down on the other side of Aarys and eyed his brother. “There are definitely some days I wouldn't want to remember you either.”
I chuckled, sharing in Leeya's bemusement. Auggie was never one to be overly vocal around new people. He usually sat back like I did and watched. I knew he was fond of Leeya, though, and all of this now was for her benefit. Even if it didn't help to get her back, we all wanted her to at least be comfortable.
“This is Auggie and Zaydan,” Aarys said, pointing toward them. She looked past me and I turned to see the other had joined us. “And that's Joury sitting by Rhydian, and Evanly on the other side of Zaydan. Everyone knows Leeya, of course, and this is Lillith and Paxton.”
Lillith shrank back just slightly, but Paxton gave a grin. It grew when she leaned toward him enough that their arms were brushing against each other. Leeya was right; he was crazy about her. I had no idea how Lillith hadn’t noticed it before.
No one coddled Leeya, treating her like she was damaged or broken like Zaydan had teased. I sat back and watched without chiming in. She didn’t need me to. As much as I wanted to carry her through all of this, Leeya had always been able to stand on her own two feet. Although she was visibly nervous at the beginning, she had relaxed and actually started joking back with people in no time.
Shortly before lunch was over, Linley skipped her way over from where she sat with some of the other children. Naiya, who was sitting with those who weren’t with their families, watched her carefully as she crossed the room. She didn’t take her eyes off of her at all until I nodded to let her know I would take responsibility for her. Naiya didn’t know who my sister really was, which made me even more comfortable with the way the children were being watched. Until things settled down, everyone would have a close eye on them.
“Are you better now?” Linley asked, pushing herself into the gap between Leeya and Lillith.
I looked at her without putting voice to the question on my mind. We had made sure that everyone in Alkwin knew we didn’t want any of the children to know what had happened in Eden. That included the extent of Leeya’s injuries. No one should have told her that Leeya couldn’t remember. When her little hand went up and she gently brushed her fingers over the bruise on Leeya’s cheekbone, though, I realized that wasn’t what she was talking about. The last time she had seen her, Leeya had been sitting in a bed in the clinic.
As if uncomfortable by the situation, everyone besides Leeya, Lillith, and Paxton muttered excuses about needing to get to their afternoon assignments and cleared out. Linley watched them go, a silent question in her eyes, but she let it go without pressing us on it. I realized why after Leeya smiled and nodded.
“Can we go see the house before I have to go back to the schoolhouse?” Linley asked, looking to me for an answer. “The one we’re going to live in?”
No wonder she hadn’t been bothered by everyone leaving. I had made it clear to her that we weren’t going to tell anyone Leeya and I were engaged until she had recovered and everyone new had settled in. I didn’t want Leeya to feel pressured at all, especially from my sister, but it was the best I could do outside of just telling Linley the truth. Alth
ough Noella hadn’t been able to tell us when, or even if Leeya would get her memories back, I was holding out hope that it would happen before I was forced to have that conversation with Linley.
My eyes shifted around to make sure no one was listening, then I met her gaze. “We can do that. I have training scheduled, so we can’t stay long. I can show you where it is, though.”
Linley squealed and jumped up and down excitedly. Then she turned to face Leeya. “Are you coming too?”
Holding my breath, I looked to Leeya myself for an answer. I wanted to show her the house I was building for us. Part of me even hoped that going out to that spot on the river would trigger something and her memories would start to return. On the other hand, I also feared that pushing her too hard would make her start to pull away from me. As much as I wanted to just grab her and kiss her, to make her remember what we had, it would kill me if I ended up losing her completely.
The request caught her off guard. Leeya looked up and met my eye as if she were seeking permission. Or maybe silently asking for help in answering. I just watched her, letting her decide what she wanted. Finally breathing when she smiled and looked back down at Linley.
“Of course,” she said sweetly. “Do you really think I would miss the first time you got to see it?”
The smile her words brought to Linley’s face made me love her even more.
After we finished, the three of us walked across camp and into the woods. Linley bounced as she walked, but my attention was on Leeya. Her eyes were darting around. Not in a way that said she was frightened. It was the way she always had. The way my Leeya looked at the woods. With awe and admiration, like she didn’t want to risk missing out on a single thing. It gave me hope. She was still in there, buried just like she had been when I found her in Eden. I had dug her out then. I would do it again.
When the sound of the waterfall started to grow louder, I pointed Linley ahead and kept my focus on Leeya. I had missed seeing her reaction when she first saw the work that I’d done on the house. Even though I hadn’t asked her, I knew she had to have come by herself during those weeks we hadn’t been talking. I didn’t want to miss it now, even if it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t have that promise of what it meant for our future behind it. Especially with the knowledge that she could be carrying my child. A child that would grow up in this house. One that could end up in this house without me if she never found herself again.
Admitting that to myself hurt, but I pushed through it. She didn’t need to deal with my fears on top of everything else she had been saddled with.
Leeya’s gaze landed on the nearly completed foundation when we stepped into the clearing. I could almost see the gears turning, like she was trying to picture what it would look like. Then she looked further out and gasped. I smiled. I didn’t need to look at the waterfall myself. It wasn’t nearly as stunning as that little smile she always got when she saw something beautiful.
She walked toward the river, glancing back briefly at the sound of Linley jumping up onto the foundation. I watched as she stared out at the water. The tension left her shoulders, and although I couldn’t see her face, I knew she was as relaxed as I had seen her since Eden.
“How big is it going to be?” Linley asked, stomping around.
I turned and looked at the surface myself. I had designed the house two years ago, but never had it felt like anything more than a house to me. Now when I looked at it, when I worked on it, I could see its potential. It was a kitchen Linley would cook in. A place where we could be ourselves, shielded from everyone else. Be a family. It was a bedroom where nothing else in the world would exist when I had Leeya in my arms.
It was a home.
“Three bedrooms for now,” I said. That had always been the plan, at least. Before Linley came to Alkwin. Before I saw a future with Leeya. We had never talked about children. Even now the idea felt abstract, like something that we didn’t even need to think about for years. But that might not be the case. What if Leeya wanted a large family?
My head spun with the possibilities and uncertainties. It wasn’t like I could just talk to her about it. Not now, at least. So I said the only thing I could. “A second story can be added if needed.”
Leeya looked back to where the house would stand, concern filling her eyes. My heart sank. It was too much. I shouldn’t have brought her out here until she had had time to adjust a little. I could almost see the pressure my words left on her.
“We should get back. I can't miss my training sessions,” I said hastily. She looked down, avoiding meeting my eye. If Linley hadn't been here with us, I feared she would have turned and run as fast as she could from this conversation. She didn't know me. She didn't want me.
“Can Leeya do my training?” Linley asked, oblivious to what had just happened. She jumped down and reached for my hand. I smiled, grateful for the distraction. Even more so when I saw Leeya relax some and start walking toward us.
“Leeya's still recovering. She's going to have to ease back into training.”
Linley sighed heavily and rolled her eyes in a dramatic sort of way. Leeya was infallible in her eyes. It was part of the reason I hadn't wanted to tell her anything was seriously wrong.
“You can watch for now if you would like. I'll drop you back off at the schoolhouse after.”
That succeeded in distracting her, in keeping her from questioning it. She looked up with a bright, excited smile and nodded. Leeya was watching her with a smile of her own as she walked up beside us.
“Do you want to go back to the dorm?” I asked her. She looked tired, overwhelmed. Probably more than eager to put some space between us at the moment.
Leeya thought about it for a moment, then shook her head. “I'd like to watch the training,” she said. “If that's okay.”
I smiled myself. “Of course.”
CHAPTER SIX
LEEYA
“I want to learn to fight with bastons like you do,” Linley said excitedly as we sat together on the edge of the training field. I had no idea what that actually meant, but it wasn’t something I could ask her. I’d have to remember the word later so I could ask Rhydian. “You’re like a warrior princess. Princess now that you’re going to marry my brother.”
She was sitting with her feet under her, bouncing enough to make her brown curls bob up and down. I smiled indulgently, but the reminder made my insides twist with discomfort. I didn’t want to think about what would happen if I never got my memories back. Logically, I knew that Rhydian had to be someone I really cared about. Enough for me to apparently risk my life to save him. Not to mention the fact that I had agreed to marry him.
But I didn’t know the girl who did all of that. Even if it meant making everyone else happy, I couldn’t just step into her life and be that person for them. Rhydian wanted to keep what was going on from Linley for now, but I knew the possibility was there that I would eventually have to tell her I couldn’t be who she wanted me to be.
It was a conversation for another day. So I put my arm around her and pulled her to my side, knowing it was all I could offer her now.
Linley turned toward me and smiled.
Rhydian was with a young guy on the training field, but they weren’t using the bastons Linley had mentioned. They didn’t have any weapons at all. I actually found myself a little disappointed as I watched and realized they were planning on fighting with just their bodies. Noella had mentioned immersing me in my own life, so I had hoped to see something that could be familiar.
When Rhydian turned to talk to someone else who had walked up, the guy he was training glanced back toward us. When his eyes met mine, a large smile stretched across his face. He waved and stretched his shoulders. Something about the move actually made me feel like he was trying to show off. I nearly asked Linley who he was, but I managed to stop myself before it slipped out.
“Joury said Alister is still trying to get you to train him instead of Rhydian,” Linley said, watching the guy who was
watching us. I gave him what I hoped was a friendly smile, then used the excuse to break eye contact to look at the girl. “He was hoping that with the rescue over, you would have time to train others instead of just getting ready. But if you’re going to train anyone, it’s going to be me.”
I smirked at just how eager she was and turned back to the men.
Now that she mentioned it, I could see that Alister was just starting out. Rhydian began by showing him some defensive moves. He demonstrated a slow motion punch, then showed Alister how to block it. He then repeated the move, having Alister perform the block over and over until he appeared to have it down. Then they moved on to different methods of attack.
As I watched, I started to feel my muscles tingling. It was almost like my body wanted to move in response to each of Rhydian’s attacks. Like it knew what to do, although mentally I wasn’t sure what that actually was.
When they moved on to getting out of different holds, the sensation only grew. My skin felt hot, almost excited. My heart raced, and there was an eagerness moving through me that I couldn’t understand.
