by Jenn Vakey
“Winter housing?” I asked. It didn’t sound like a gardening term.
Rhydian turned to face me and nodded. “The winter months are too cold for outdoor gardens. We have a housing that's installed over them to keep the plants from freezing.”
I thought about it and nodded. It made sense. “Why not just leave it up all year?”
The corners of Rhydian’s mouth turned up in the smallest of smiles. I thought for a moment that he was laughing at me, like it was a stupid question. But that wasn’t what I saw in his eyes. Those looked closer to impressed. “It’s more for comfort for our harvesters. It can get hot in there during the summer.”
“Are you going to be leading the next trip to Denver?” Joury asked, pulling Rhydian’s attention to her. “I was thinking about something that might help get us ready for the winter. During that last trip we took, you and Zaydan were talking about hunting there. With our new hovercrafts, we could actually get the kills back here quickly.”
Rhydian sat his fork down on his plate and thought over the suggestion. After a moment, he smiled and nodded. “That’s something to look into. With the size of the deer herds we saw, a small party could easily bag several at once. I’ll run it by Orson, but we should be able to get it set up.”
She beamed with pride, smiling at him.
They went on trips outside of Alkwin together?
“Where’s Denver?”
“It’s an abandoned city to the north,” Aarys answered. “You were on the last trip too. I heard it was quite the eventful outing.”
“It was,” Rhydian stated. “You and I spent a night in an underground subway tunnel.”
Subway tunnel? Something about the word triggered a memory. Well, maybe not a memory. It was more like how I knew what things like gardens and buildings were. Just basic knowledge that was still there.
They are underground transportation cars.
“What were we doing in a subway tunnel?” I asked. Were they still in use? Aarys had said the city was abandoned, so I couldn't imagine they were.
At my question, a look passed through Rhydian’s eyes. His expression didn't change, but there was something almost energized in the way he was looking at me. Heat, excitement.
“I'll tell you about it another time,” he said simply.
Oh. There could have been a lot of reasons not to tell me then, but I knew instantly what the real one was. It was something about us. Something the others didn't need to hear. Especially if I was interpreting his look correctly.
“I have warrior hair,” I blurted out. It was the only thing I could think to say to keep myself from reacting.
Rhydian's smile said he knew exactly what I was doing. As did the way his eyes shifted quickly to my lips before returning to mine. Oh boy. “Griffin told me. That's what Linley told you when you first cut your hair.” He glanced around, then leaned in closer and lowered his voice. Not wanting to be overheard. “That was the first time you met her. The mischievous little thing snuck out of her room to talk to you. We haven't been able to keep her where she's supposed to be since.”
He might have been chiding her, but there was no mistaking the affection he had for the girl. It was sweet. I could also see how pleased he was that I had remembered something. How eager he was for me to get back to who I was.
“How soon can I start training?” I asked. “I wanted to today, but I know I'm not supposed to yet.”
“That's not surprising. You've spent nearly every free minute for the past three weeks training. I would think you could tomorrow, but you'll have to get cleared by Noella first. If not then, definitely the day after.”
I nodded, but the answer was disappointing. I remembered that feeling I’d had while watching. I didn't want to have to wait.
“Will you be here for it? Training me?”
“It depends when you can start, but I prefer to be.” He paused like he was going to say something else. He clenched his jaw and looked down, and I could tell he had decided against it. “The only time I won’t be able to make time is the morning after next. I’ll be on the team going to the archway to meet the new arrivals. You can come along for that if you’d like. It would be helpful for you to question people before we let them through the wards. You know, ask if they have any desire to harm anyone in Alkwin. If they’re bringing in anything dangerous. You’ll know if anyone is lying.”
I considered it for a moment before nodding. It sounded a little dangerous, but Rhydian looked to be happy with my response. With how guilty he was, I knew he wouldn’t put me in a situation where I could get hurt even more. Besides, he made it sound like I would be doing something important. That was definitely better than being the only adult here who wasn’t helping out.
Rhydian walked me back to the dorm as dinner was starting to draw to an end. The girls said they wouldn’t be much longer, mentioning that it would be a good idea to beat the crowd back so there wasn’t a line for the bathroom. I didn’t want to wait.
With most people still in the dining hall, it was a quiet walk. We didn’t talk. He didn’t make me feel like we needed to. It was surprisingly comfortable.
He stepped in when we reached my door and pointed to the dresser. “I’m just going to get some clothes.”
I nodded and stepped back. I felt a little guilty making him leave what was his room too, but yet again, he didn’t make it awkward. He had been honest before. He wasn’t pushing me.
After taking a few items out of the dresser, he stepped back toward the door and turned to face me. “Do you need anything?”
My memories. My life back.
I shook my head.
“I’ll be right across the hall. Don’t be afraid to come get me if you do.”
“Thank you, Rhydian.”
He smiled and stepped out into the hall. “Sweet dreams, Leeya.”
With that, he closed the door behind him and I was alone again. After changing myself, I climbed into bed and sighed. Sleep sounded good. And who knew… Maybe my dreams would have answers for me.
CHAPTER SEVEN
RHYDIAN
Warrior hair. It wasn’t much, but it was a step in the right direction. My Leeya was still in there. I just had to figure out how to get her back.
Showering off quickly, I changed and walked back out of the bathroom. People were mingling in the common area. Joury and Zaydan were answering questions as they came, while Auggie stood back watching. He nodded toward me, then went back to monitoring the group in his typical silence.
Not wanting to get caught up in any of that tonight, I pushed through the group and started to walk down the hall. I didn’t make it far before being stopped.
“Fancy running into you here,” Maizie said, walking up beside me.
She brushed against my arm, causing a tight feeling to settle into my chest. It was a mix of sensations, some I didn’t understand. I had come to terms long ago that she was gone. I never expected to realize that I actually missed her. We had been close friends for years before leaving Eden. Then we’d become more. She was the first girl I had ever kissed. The first I’d touched.
She had also been my first experience with heartache. We might have been having problems there at the end, but I had honestly expected things to right themselves again. Then she was just gone.
Had Maizie walked back into my life even two months ago, I doubt I would have even hesitated before letting things fall back into that comfortable way we’d had. Now I didn’t even know how to talk to her. I had been cautious of Joury’s feelings when it came to Leeya and me. That was nothing compared to this.
“Well, I do live here. So…”
“That actually surprises me,” she said cheerfully. Once again, I saw her look down to my hand. Unlike the last time, it was visible now. Clearly without a ring. The smile I saw her trying hard to keep hidden was like a punch to the gut.
This was a mess.
“I would have thought you’d have moved into a house by now.”
I shr
ugged, looking back down the hallway. “I’m in the process of building one,” I admitted. “I just haven’t had much time. You know, invading the city and lighting the fuse for a civil war.”
She nodded, and I watched as she twisted a strand of her curls around her finger. “Still in the same room?”
The suggestive look she was giving me made me turn away. We had never shared a room when we were together, but she frequently came into mine at night. It didn’t take a genius to know that was what she had planned for tonight.
“I’m sharing with Gryffin for the time being.”
“Too bad,” she said, then winked at me and walked back toward the common area.
I sighed, digging my fingers into the back of my neck. Then I felt another presence beside me. This time it was a welcome sight.
“That’s trouble,” Auggie said, glancing behind us in the direction Maizie had gone.
He didn’t need to say more. Outside of our families and Paxton, Auggie was one of only three people who knew about Leeya and me. The heavy look he had when he faced me again was full of questions. While he knew that we were involved, he didn’t know the extent. Just how serious I was about her. And the way he was looking at me told me he would kick my ass if I did anything to hurt our girl.
“I’ll get it sorted out,” I assured him.
I just didn’t know how.
Gryffin was lying on the bed when I walked into the room and closed the door. Dropping my clothes on the top of the dresser, I crossed over and sat down on the other side of the bed.
“Worried about Leeya?” he asked.
I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair. I didn’t really know if I should burden him with this. I wasn’t used to talking to anyone about my personal life. Well, aside from Leeya. I had opened up to Linley some, but only to a certain degree. Rarely more than happy things to try to make her more comfortable with her new life. While Gryffin and I had been close before, a lot had happened since our days in the palace. Things I still hadn’t apologized to him for.
Still, I needed to talk to someone. Maybe this was a good place to start in repairing the damage I had done between the two of us.
“I have a bit of a situation,” I admitted.
Gryffin sat up and rested his elbows on his knees, turning his head to face me. “Want to talk about it?”
I waited for that instinctive pang of discomfort I always felt when faced with having to discuss something personal to come. It didn’t. Maybe it was because I knew I needed to talk this out. Or maybe it was just the comfort of having my brother back.
I nodded, then told him, “I need to, because I can’t seem to figure out how to talk to the two people that I should about it.”
That earned a worried look. “Spill.”
Well, here went nothing.
“Do you remember that girl I was spending a lot of time with before I left Eden?” I asked. “The redheaded daughter of the palace Healer. Maizie.”
Gryffin thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Father was concerned you would attempt to court her, right? Something about a condition that made it less than ideal.”
I cringed, remembering that last conversation I’d had with my father before Adler assassinated him. He had been both surprised and relieved to see me when he walked into his bedroom to find me waiting for him. That hadn’t completely masked the anger that had been there, though. The heat to his words when he accused me of running away from my family to be with a girl who couldn’t even provide me with a future. That was before he learned the truth. Before the resignation and sorrow overshadowed everything else when he learned the real reason I had fled Eden.
“That would be the one,” I said solemnly, pushing that memory away. “She’s how I ended up here in the first place. She was Tainted, and her family was working with our people in the city to get her out. My abilities had just started showing, so I agreed to come with her.”
There was a lot of weight to the nod he gave to that. There was a lot he wanted to say, but he let me go on. For now.
“We never actually started courting. Not in the way that it’s done in Eden. The restrictions aren’t the same here, and our people have adopted a pre-war thing called dating. Boyfriend, girlfriend. It’s similar, I guess, but there aren’t the expectations of marriage attached. Basically, think many of the benefits of marriage without the permanent commitment. It could eventually head there, but if things don’t work out, then you just break up. End it.”
I paused, waiting to see if he was actually understanding what I was trying to say.
After a moment, he nodded again. “Okay.” He smirked. “Don’t think I’m going to let the benefits of marriage part of that just go without further explanation, but I have a feeling that doesn’t really have anything to do with your point, so we’ll save that conversation for later.”
If I were the type to blush, I might actually have done so. While not really discussed openly, the people of Alkwin were used to the idea that people were free to do such things. It wasn’t something I had ever discussed with new arrivals, aside from the brief conversations I had had with Leeya about it. I guess it was easy to forget that someone my brother’s age never would have considered such acts outside of marriage. And the look he was giving me now made it clear that he hadn’t.
That meant that I had a very interesting, likely uncomfortable, conversation awaiting me in the future.
“Anyway, about a year after we got here, we started having problems. When I didn’t agree with her point of view on something, she broke up with me.” I sighed, a twinge of pain slicing through my heart at the memory of hearing her words that day. Telling me that it was over. The pain and anger, the betrayal. The heart ache I didn’t think could be topped. Not until that night in the woods with Adler. The night that I was certain Leeya had ripped my heart clean out of my chest. “We went on a mission a week later, and Maizie was grabbed by Sentry. I was too far away to help, but I could see enough. Or so I thought. I watched them aim at her and fire. I was sure she was dead.”
“And she’s not,” Gryffin added, putting the pieces together.
I shook my head. “They took her to the facility. She’s been there ever since. Now she’s here.”
I blew out a breath, still hardly believing it myself.
“And you don’t know how to tell her about Leeya, and you’re worried Leeya is too fragile to tell her about Maizie.”
“That pretty much sums it up.”
Gryffin chuckled and shook his head. There wasn’t any humor in it. “Well, it’s been three years. Surely Maizie didn’t expect you to wait around for her. Not if things had ended even before she was captured. And from what I’ve gathered, until recently, it was accepted that anyone who they captured had been killed. She would have known you spent the last several years thinking she was gone.”
“She just seemed awfully disappointed that I don’t have a room to myself right now.”
Gryffin let out a low whistle and leaned back against the headboard, his shock evident again.
“Well,” he said, running his hand through his hair. “What is it you want?” I opened my mouth to tell him that it was a stupid question, but he held up his hand to stop me. “I have no doubt that it would have been a simple answer before, but hear me out. I know how much you care for Leeya. Anyone who actually pays attention can see that. But, while I‘m holding out hope that it isn’t the case, what if she never makes it back to where she was before. If she never remembers what you two had.”
The thought was physically painful. Enough so that it kept me from being able to speak and argue against it before he could go on.
“Do you want to sever those ties to the past completely, even if there’s a chance that you might not have a future with Leeya? Or do you want to keep the option open so Maizie will be there if things don’t work out the way you want them to?”
So many things hit me all at once. The same fear I had been feeling that that might actually be wh
at my future looked like. One where I loved a woman who didn’t love me back. Though I had tried not to, the thought had crossed my mind throughout the day that there might be a day that she chose to be with someone else. I hadn’t even considered an option other than being alone. Trying to be happy for her. But could I actually use Maizie to fill that void?
I tried to picture it. To imagine myself with Maizie again. I had been happy with her before. Maybe not to the degree that I was with Leeya. I had cared for her greatly, but I knew now that what I had felt hadn’t been the all-consuming love that I felt with my lost girl. Was it even possible to get to that point with someone else?
