by Lilah Rivers
I’m certainly interested to find out.
But what of my parents? Would they ever be interested in coming out and staying? What of my father’s practice, his needy patients? He’s spent his lifetime building up his practice, his reputation, his friendships. Unlike me, he was never outcast, never the butt of jokes or the subject for idle gossip. I can’t ask him to leave everything he’s created, the entire life he’s built for himself and his wife, my beloved mother. I’d have no place in asking them to turn their backs on all that, any more than they didn’t dare to ask me to turn my back on Amy and refuse the trip to Angeldale. No, they showed compassion, more care for another than for themselves.
Do I dare do any less?
The sad litany of images which would result from her return past before Jodi’s mind’s eye. She could envision herself slumping through her return to Providence, earning rebuke and scowls from those she used to know, before her world was turned upside-down.
She couldn’t help but break into a little bittersweet chuckle, which teased Amy’s intrigue.
“Jodi?”
“Oh, I was just thinking about, y’know, things… the folks back home. I guess Giles put me in mind of them.”
After a long pause, Amy pressed, “And? What were you thinking about them? How much you look forward to seeing them, I suppose.”
Jodi huffed. “On the contrary, I was wondering how they’d ever recognize me if I did go back. When I came here, my father, he wasn’t confident that it would work. It's a different world out here, Amy.”
“And all the better for it.”
“And I guess can admit I wasn’t quite sure at first, either. I’d only ever been to New York, Boston—never out west. I mean, I knew you could handle such a place, but… me?”
Amy shook her head though her smile. “You’re a lot stronger than you ever thought, Jodi; you always were.”
“I wonder if I have the strength for what’s coming next.”
Amy leaned forward. “And what would that be, hon?”
But Jodi had no time to answer. She looked out the window, with Amy right behind her. “Oh no,” Amy groaned, “not again! I’ll get Clinton, we’ll get this fellow of yours straightened out right here and now!”
“No, Amy,” Jodi said, standing up to cross to the door as Giles climbed down off his horse on the other side of the front-facing window. “I’ll handle this myself.”
“But you did that last time?”
“This time, I’m ready.” Jodi stepped outside, closing the front door behind her. She wanted Giles to see her doing that, to know that she wasn't waiting for anybody to come to her rescue. Jodi Hoffman didn’t need an assist to deal with the like of Giles Devlin, not anymore.
“What do you want, Giles?”
“Jodi,” he greeted with a tip of his hat, glancing around. “Are you so at home that you decide who comes and goes?”
“I am as far as you’re concerned.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I thought I was quite clear.”
“You may have thought so,” Giles replied with a shrug, “but, upon reflection, I thought otherwise.”
“Perhaps what you think isn’t the most vital aspect of our interactions right now. Oh, it’s true, back in Providence I’d valued your feelings, your thoughts, even above my own. But not anymore, Giles.”
“Is that so?”
“You have some reason to doubt me?”
“I do,” he said, taking another step toward Jodi. Not wanting to be seen retreating, or to think of herself as doing the same, she held her ground with distaste for his new proximity. Giles looked her over. “It’s not that I don’t admire your spunk, Jodi. I see your friend has been a good influence on you. It’ll serve you in good stead when raising our children back in Rhode Island.”
“Giles, hear me; I’ll not be your wife, not in Rhode Island or anywhere.”
“Because I hurt you so terribly.”
“Yes, that’s right. You find it a subject worthy of mockery?”
Giles broke a little smile. “I think you’ll agree that there is more foolishness going on here than you realize, or that you may be willing to admit—even to yourself.”
“Speak your piece, Giles; and please, make it both plain and quick.”
“I will, Jodi, and I think one simple word will say all which needs to be said.” After another little pause and a faint smile, the echoing sound of a barn owl crying out overhead, Giles said only, “Sheriff?”
Jodi’s blood ran cold, her mouth going dry. But she tried not to flinch, revealing no weakness to Giles if she could possibly avoid doing so. Jodi knew in her heart that it was already too late.
Chapter 38
“You don’t have to deny it to me,” Giles told her.
But the words only stiffened Jodi’s spine and her resolve, pushing her shoulders back and chin forward. “Are you calling me a liar?”
“Of course not, Jodi, not if you actually knew better. But I think we can all lie to ourselves, it is insidiously easy to do so. I’ve done it myself, and I know better than anyone the rues of such a bad course. And to think that our lives together may be dashed not only by one such mistake but by two? It’s more than my conscience will allow.”
“Your conscience,” Jodi couldn’t help but repeat with obvious contempt in her voice, all the insult she needed to lay at his feet.
“I know, and I deserve that. But it’s true, Jodi; we all fall short of the mark at times, do we not?”
Jodi knew that to be true, the frailty and faulty nature of every human. But it was too easy to focus the blame there and away from Giles’ own faults, and this was where Jodi was determined to keep their conversation.
Giles obviously had other—and opposite—inclinations.
He said, “I’m determined to give you the opportunity to think better of your mistake, to learn from the agony of my own, and to join me in making our marital bond all the stronger.”
“We’re… there is no marital bond between us, Giles.”
“No, not yet. But there was to be, and there yet will be; I’m certain.” After a moment to let his thought sink in, Giles added, “If you’ll only see things the way I do, the way they truly are.”
“That you and I are meant to be together,” Jodi supposed.
“That is correct. Our union was destined from the start, intended by God, even you would not argue the fact! All this—my mistakes, the time and distance between us—none of these things can undo what God intends, no force can thwart His will.”
Hairs rose on the backs of Jodi’s arms, blood running cold. “Careful to be merely foolish, Giles, and not blasphemous!”
“I’m not jesting, Jodi. If you’re looking for a man worthy of a laugh, let’s take a closer look at this sheriff of yours.”
“He’s the sheriff of all whom he serves,” Jodi retorted, knowing this was not Giles’ meaning. “To me, he’s—”
He cut her off sharply. “I know what he is to you.”
“And what makes you say these things? To whom have you been speaking?”
“I don’t reveal my confidences, Jodi, you know that.” Their voices came faster, a bit louder, more force behind each. “What does this man have that he can offer you? Life among the cow pies? An early widowhood?”
“He…” But Jodi let her words trail off, not wanting to reveal anything more to Giles which he could use against her or Scott or both. “He has nothing to do with it.”
Giles shook his head. “Here I know, now without question, that you’re not being truthful, Jodi. Oh, come now, I’ve known you for years! There’s little you can hide from me. I’m only hurt that you would try to, but it won’t do either of you any good.”
“What does that mean?” Jodi asked. “Is that… some kind of threat? You’re threatening the sheriff of Angeldale? That man is beloved in this town, respected, feared—”
“I was not,” Giles assured her calmly. He said nothing more, and Jodi felt for the first time that s
he herself had something to fear from their visitor from the East—and someone else might have even more to fear than Jodi, it struck her.
Amy.
“I’ll win you back, Jodi—”
“No, Giles, no, youcan’t, it doesn’t work that way. I’m not a prize to be won or lost, love is… it’s not a game, Giles.”
“Nor do I see it as such,” Giles replied. “Everything is on the line for me, Jodi, for us both. If only I could get you to see that. And I will. I won’t leave until I’ve convinced you, Jodi.”
“Another threat?”
“A promise, Jodi. Trust me, your feelings are confused, jumbled; a raw mixture of disappointment and delusion—”
“Delusion?” She echoed quickly.
Giles looked around them and shrugged. “Of course! You’re not meant for this place, nor it for you. Do you really imagine yourself finding happiness way out here, so many miles from the life you’ve known—your family?”
That struck a chord with Jodi, telling her that Giles did indeed know her as well as anybody could, and that he’d use that knowledge to his greatest advantage to get what—and who—he wanted.
“I’m a changed man, Jodi, and you’ll see that; I promise you.” He turned to climb back onto his horse. “But you? Thankfully, you’ll never have to change. You’ll still be the sweet Providence girl you were raised to be. This is a place for people like your friend Amy, Jodi, and her ilk. People like you and me, we deserve each other.We belong together, and we will be together.”
Giles rode off, and Jodi didn’t even bother to stop him, to shout at him. Don’t bother to linger or return, she thought bitterly.You’ll never have my heart, no matter what other men there may be. But as to the man who is, you will never be able to hold a candle to Sheriff Scott Covey of Angeldale, New Mexico.
But just what Giles might yet do sent a shiver down Jodi’s spine as she watched his figure disappearing over the horizon, heading back into town.
Chapter 39
Scott was surprised to see Giles step into his office. The man was wearing a stiff, stern expression, no smile of whatever honesty or purity or lack thereof. Scott set down his coffee cup and stood up slowly to stand behind his desk as Giles approached.
“Sheriff Covey.”
“Mister Devlin. Decided to stay in town, have you?”
“I have. For a time, at least.”
“I see.” Scott had no doubt about what was causing the man to linger in Angeldale, but he felt compelled to ask what little he might, keep the man wondering what his own position would be. “Some other business keeping you here, then? Another store, perhaps?”
Giles shook his head with a little, secret smile. “I hardly think I’d choose to live in such a place as this, Sheriff. It may be adequate to a man of… of your station, of course. But I’m accustomed to more sophisticated surroundings. You understand.”
“Most certainly,” Scott answered, confident in his complete and clearly misunderstood honesty.
“And, of course, Miss Hoffman is apt to feel the same way.”
Scott tried not to enjoy their little conflict overmuch. He repeated, “Apt?”
“You do know the meaning of the word, I take it?”
The sheriff stepped around from his desk to stand face to face with his unwelcome visitor. “Let's see how familiar you are with it—how apt are you to take the woman’s position as true and leave her unmolested? And how apt am I, do you think, to tolerate your malingering where you are not wanted and where you have no place?”
“It’s a free country,” Giles countered with a little sneer of disgust, “to virtually every creature that can crawl up onto two feet, that is.”
“We have laws here, too, mister.”
“I’m no vagrant.” Giles was indignant as he looked Scott over, now standing right in front of him. “And you’re no kind of man fit for her! Oh, come now, I’m not saying you’re not… capable, in your way, or that you wouldn’t make a fine husband for somemore rugged type of woman. But Jodi—my Jodi—that’s just not the kind of woman she is, no matter what she may think now.”
Scott gave that some thought, and he decided to draw as much out of that gabby dandy as he could. Arrogance did much to loosen the tongue, Scott knew well. So he asked, “And what does she think now?”
“She’s in a daze, of course. All this, these new surroundings, what happened with us back home, she’s in a state, that's all. You know how women can get.”
“In particular?”
“Well, they’re impractical, given to flights of fancy.”
“Such as to, say, fall for a beloved’s cousin—a fanciful flight of that sort, would you say?”
Giles looked Scott over. "So she told you that, did she? All right, well, so what? We all fall short of the mark sometimes. In fact, my friend, I'm here to ask you to rise to the occasion, where I could not—until now. I’m only asking you to be the practical one! Look ahead a few years, when she’s had time to reconsider, when the oppressive desert heat has had its way with that creamy skin. You may not mind it, but Jodi will never have the stomach for such surroundings. And what happens thereafter? She may be quite taken with you now, but you are new to her, exciting, different, and those things are always enticing, are they not?”
“They can be.”
Giles nodded and offered a friendly, encouraging little grin. “Yes, but in the days and years ahead, you and I—men of vision—we can see what’s ahead; disappointment, doubt, lingering sadness for what could have been.”
The thoughts had crossed Scott’s mind, he couldn't deny it though he wouldn’t have dreamed of confirming it to this man.
“Can you really condemn poor Jodi to that, knowing the certainty of her ultimate sadness? No matter what she thinks now, the present is fleeting,” Giles ranted,“but the future, that will follow us all, waiting around the bend for the rest of our lives—inescapable.”
Scott nodded. “Somewhat like the past.”
Giles took a deep breath and stared out as if imagining just how right Scott was. “So you really do understand. We all make mistakes, but I’m here to remedy my own, as I told Jodi and so I'm telling you—I intend to remedy it, and I will.”
Scott stood, unimpressed. “And how do you plan to do that?”
“I won’t have to do anything,” Giles assured him. “Time and the truth will reveal everything. But mark my words. I will leave Angeldale and I will be taking Jodi Hoffman with me.” With that, Giles turned to stomp across the office. He pulled the door open and walked out, and seconds later Doyle walked in, glancing behind him.
“What was that all about?”
“Nothing professional,” Scott told him, “nothing you need to worry about.”
He nodded. “Keeping your private life private, is that it?”
Scott took a new look at Doyle, up and down, surveying his lingering upset. “Listen, Doyle, I know you were disappointed in all that, but you’ve really got to get over it. It’s an element of adult life. And if you can’t face that, frankly, how are you going to be able to face the other things you’ll come across in this job?”
