by Lilah Rivers
“I know, it … it just feels like I am, and in so many ways.” But true as that was, Rena knew it wasn’t that simple. That was why she often didn’t want to think about it. “So my parents, they … they seemed to lose faith in me, and I suppose I can’t blame them. But they also lost touch, with me as much as with each other, and that … that was what really hurt, I think. I … I thought maybe they were staying together for my sake, but … I know it’s just for appearances.”
Albert sighed and leaned back to lean against his beloved wife. “‘For this is what the Lord says: “Do not enter a house where there is a funeral meal; do not go to mourn or show sympathy, because I have withdrawn my blessing, my love and my pity from this people,” declares the Lord.’”
Helen said, “Amen.”
After a somber moment, Rena felt better, anxious to say, “I … I don’t want you to think I’m looking for a handout or anything.”
Helen repeated, “Handout?”
“I mean, I want to help out. I’ll help you around the house, Grandma, or …” She turned her attention to Albert, “Even learn a bit about ranching too. I … I think I’d quite enjoy that.”
Albert cracked a smile, but he crossed his arms in front of his expanding chest and belly. “You’d quite enjoy it?” Rena nodded, but she felt it fading fast. “It’s hard work, Rena, dangerous, sweaty, and dusty.”
Rena quickly reviewed the terms. “I … I’d like to learn if I could. Maybe … maybe this is my place, my purpose, what I failed to find in Philadelphia.”
“I took it that a husband was what you failed to find in Philadelphia.”
Rena turned, too bashful to face her grandfather head-on. “Among other things. But I tried to find opportunities for business, for —”
“For business? You’d have opened a business? Of what sort?”
“Almost any sort! There’s a wide and growing market for women’s fashions, men’s accessories, sundries, publishing —”
“Publishing?”
“All manner of pursuits. You … you disapprove?”
Albert and Helen glanced at one another before Albert shrugged and shook his head. “Actually … no, I … I’m impressed, and intrigued. No takers back east?” Rena only needed to shake her head. Albert seemed to think about it, new information coaxing him.
“My hands … they won’t be accustomed to … tutoring a novice,” he said, clearing his throat.
“So I assume.” Albert and Helen both cocked their heads to hear more. “Your man Thomas,” Rena explained. “Good man, but … kind of stoic, I thought it might have something to do with me.”
Albert seemed to give it some thought. “He’s given to … not melancholia, but … reflection, let’s say. But they’re all my hands, and they do as I tell them. All right, I’ll look into it, and we’ll discuss it further. But be assured, Rena, that if you see something worth striving for, something worthy of you, I’ll be there with you to help you achieve it.”
Rena couldn’t help smiling through her tears, happy trails running down her curling cheeks.
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