His mouth stayed on mine as he shifted, his hands running down my body so he could pull my underwear off. Then he was back and sliding inside, not even waiting for me to take off my shirt, which was already pushed up, my breasts bared to him. He cupped them, his thumbs brushing over my nipples and forcing a gasp out of me while he moved faster, our gasps and moans mixing together as I pulled him closer, clinging to him. Desperate to be as close as possible.
Every time we touched or kissed, I got more used to the idea that it was Kellan, the boy I’d known forever, but it still seemed magical. Still seemed like a dream that had come true. Now was no different, and as his kisses grew deeper, as he moved faster and the pleasure inside me built, I clung to him harder, wanting to keep him with me forever. If we were ever apart, I was pretty sure the world would stop spinning, and I would die.
Afterward, Kellan pulled me against him, and I rested my head on his chest, his skin sticky with sweat but cozy because it was familiar and warm and comforting.
“Emma is still upset with me.”
“She’ll cool off and talk to you about it.” He pressed his lips to the top of my head.
“Blake and Christine seemed to have hit it off.”
Kellan let out a chuckle that vibrated through my head. “You think?”
“You’re not surprised.” I twisted so I could look up at him even though the room was dark, and he brushed my hair behind my ear.
“Not in the least. I know you had Diane picked out for him, but she’s too much like Emma. He needed someone calmer to balance him out.”
So, Kellan was a better matchmaker than I was. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, he was more sensitive, more observant, and much more in tune with other people than I was, but it did because I hadn’t thought about it before now.
“I’m happy for him,” I said as I settled back against his chest.
“Me too.” He kissed me again, and then let out a breath. “More zombies showed up while I was on watch. There are at least twenty out there right now.”
“That’s more than usual.” I was starting to relax, sleep pulling me down, and only half paying attention.
“Yeah.”
His response sounded far away, but I didn’t care. I’d only been asleep for three hours when he woke me, and it hadn’t been enough rest. I needed more.
“I love you, Regan.” It was the last thing I heard before I drifted off.
15
A group went out in the morning to take care of the dead, but it was before Kellan and I were able to rouse ourselves from sleep, and by the time we made it to the control room, the fence was once again zombie-free.
“That’s different,” Kellan said as he leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed and his focus on the screens. “I’m not used to having other people around to help.”
Blake turned, his hand over his mouth to stifle a yawn as he said, “I know, right? Bill had some guys out there at first light. They took the zombies out, then loaded them into the truck so they could ditch the bodies.” He yawned again and shook his head. “Shit, I’m beat.”
“Late night?” I asked, lifting an eyebrow.
For the first time in the nine years I’d known him, a flush spread across Blake’s cheeks, and he pulled his hat lower like he was trying to hide. “Nothing exciting.”
Kellan stood up straight, dropping his arms to his sides. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep with her.”
“What’s it to you?” Blake shot back.
Kellan pinned him with a look he usually reserved for the lectures he gave me. “It matters because we just met them, and Bill is her dad. We’re still trying to make this thing work, and I don’t want any bad feelings while things are still new.”
“She’s an adult,” Blake replied, but some of his bravado had worn off, and even with his hat pulled down low over his face, his expression looked guilty.
“Blake,” Kellan said with a sigh.
He sighed, too, and even though it was exaggerated and he rolled his eyes like a teenage girl who wanted her parents to know how lame she thought they were, he looked resigned as well. “I didn’t sleep with her, okay?”
“Okay.” Kellan’s body relaxed, and he once again leaned on the doorframe and crossed his arms. “Look, I don’t mean to be a hard ass about this, I just don’t want any drama. Let us get to know them a little better, okay?”
Blake turned back to face the monitors and pulled his hat even lower, but it couldn’t hide his scowl. “I won’t make a move on her, but I’m not promising I’ll say no if she makes a move on me. I haven’t had sex in nearly a year.” The brim of his hat shadowed his eyes when he looked back at Kellan. “Things are turning blue, man.”
Kellan rolled his eyes. “I went four years. Trust me, you’ll survive.”
When I stiffened, he shot me an apologetic look, but said nothing.
Great, now I was thinking about Kellan and buxom Chelsea from the Altus settlement. Gross.
I was about to turn away when movement on one of the screens caught my eye, and just as I turned back, another zombie stumbled up to the fence.
“Look.” I pointed to the newly arrived dead man.
“Holy shit,” Blake muttered.
“Why are we getting so many?” Kellan murmured as he moved to stand in front of the screens.
The three of us stood in a line, watching in silence as the zombie grasped the fence and pulled, his mouth open and moans no doubt emanating from him as he tried to figure out how to get the goats. Seconds passed, and still we said nothing, and then another zombie appeared, followed by another shortly after. Before long, there were five out there.
“Something isn’t right,” Kellan muttered, almost under his breath.
“You think this has something to do with Andrew?” I asked.
He shook his head, but his frown said he wasn’t positive. “I don’t know how it could.”
I thought about the truck filled with zombies Andrew and his men drove around and shuddered, but I said nothing because Kellan had to be thinking the same thing. Still, I didn’t get why Andrew would waste time rounding up zombies to release on the shelter, because it made no sense. Even before Bill’s people joined us, we could take out a few zombies with no problem.
Unless he was keeping an eye on the place.
If Andrew had come by after we got back, he would have noticed the extra vehicles. Maybe he was doing this so he could see what he was up against.
“He’s watching us,” I said.
Kellan and Blake turned to face me.
“Don’t you think it makes sense that he’d be watching us? Andrew, I mean. He’s releasing the zombies so we have to come out, that way he can see what’s going on inside. How many people are here and how well we work together.”
The expression on Kellan’s face said the same thoughts had been going through his head, but the worry in his brown eyes was all about me.
“No.” Blake shook his head twice before his shoulders drooped and he exhaled. “Shit.”
“The question is,” Kellan began, “what do we do about it?”
“We don’t show him our hand,” I replied.
“Yeah.” He nodded, agreeing, and turned his gaze on Blake. “Who did Bill take out today?”
“Ummm….” Blake chewed on his lip as he thought about it. “You’d have to ask him for sure, but I think Cade was with him. Ernie, the nerdy looking guy with the tape on his glasses. The young one, too. James? Maybe one more, but I’m not sure.”
Kellan was off without another word.
I hurried after him, having to run to catch up. “What are you thinking?”
“No one else goes out.” Kellan didn’t look my way as we charged down the industrial hall, our footsteps thudding against the cement floor like a stampede of horses was on the way to the common area. “We only send out our original group and the few people Bill took with him this morning. That way, Andrew won’t know how many of us there are.”
“Okay,” I said. “Then what?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “But it’s something we need to discuss. We have to be ready. Have a plan.” Kellan shook his head like he didn’t agree with himself. “No, more than one plan. We need to consider every possible scenario so there’s no way Andrew can get the upper hand.”
Since I couldn’t even begin to imagine how a mind as twisted as Andrew’s worked, I wasn’t sure how we would prepare for an ambush from him.
We found Bill in the common area with his wife, in the middle of a game of chess, of all things. They looked up when we walked in, and the tension must have been obvious, because not only did Bill stand, but everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at us. Ernie, who’d been standing in the doorway of the theater, headed our way.
“We need to talk,” Kellan said.
“I’m all ears,” Bill said.
Behind him, Ernie nodded to indicate that he, too, was listening.
Kellan laid out what we’d discussed and how the zombies had once again gathered outside the fence, as well as our concerns about Andrew, and with each word, Bill’s expression became graver.
“Who did you take out this morning?” Kellan asked when he’d finished.
“Scott, Ernie, James, and Cade,” Bill said.
“Okay.” Kellan’s hair fell across his forehead when he nodded, but he was too focused on planning to even try to push it back. “From here on out, no one but our original group, you, Scott, Ernie, and James goes outside for any reason. Not to help with the animals, not to kill zombies. Nothing. Got it?”
Ernie looked skeptical. “Is that really the smart thing to do? Isn’t it better to let him know how big our group is? Let him know we can defend ourselves. You beat him before with only a few people, and now we have three times as many.”
“If we do that, he could come back with twice as many people as we have. You’re the one who suggested he might be recruiting new people, after all,” Kellan pointed out. “We all know there are assholes around every corner.”
Ernie’s back stiffened like he thought the jab was aimed at him.
“He has a point,” Bill said. “If you look at this like a game of poker, then everyone knows you don’t show your hand.”
“Exactly,” Kellan said.
“It’s a good plan,” Bill said.
Behind him, Ernie said nothing, but he did press his lips together, making him look like he’d taken a bite out of something sour.
“Andrew is most likely watching the shelter, and even though we don’t want to give away how many people we have,” Kellan continued, “we want to be ready, so whenever we send people out, no matter what the reason is, we’ll have a group of armed people inside the surface shelter waiting. Just in case.”
“Nice,” Bill said. “That way, if Andrew decides to make a move, we’re ready for him.”
“Sounds like a solid plan,” Ernie said, almost begrudgingly.
It was hard really getting a handle on what he was upset about. He clearly hadn’t minded letting Bill take the lead in the hangar, but something about Kellan was really rubbing him the wrong way. Maybe it was age. Ernie had a good twenty years on Kellan. It was possible he just didn’t like deferring to someone so much younger. If that was all, maybe once he realized Kellan knew what he was talking about, Ernie would settle down.
“What do you think?” As if sensing the same thing, Kellan chose not to focus on Ernie, but on Bill.
“I think it’s the best plan we can come up with.” He paused, thinking something through, and then said, “There’s no way Andrew and his men can get in here?”
“I can’t imagine how,” Kellan answered. “This place has state of the art security. You can’t get in without that code we talked about. Plus, the surface doors were made to withstand a nuclear explosion. Andrew could try, but he wouldn’t succeed.”
Bill exhaled like the news was a relief. “Okay, then. We go with your plan and keep an eye out.”
He’d just stopped talking when Emma made it up the stairs. She stopped when she saw me, and a second later Cade made an appearance. He looked around as if trying to figure out what she was staring at and gave her a little shove in my direction when he saw me standing here.
I was anxious to clear things up between us, so I headed over before she’d taken another step. Seeing me coming, Emma looked away. It almost made me stop, but I refused to give in. I got why this upset her. She felt betrayed, and there was a chance I would feel the same way if the situation were reversed, but she was taking it too far. She had to know I would do anything Jasper asked me. He’d saved me and kept us afloat through so much that questioning him would never have occurred to me.
“We’re going to talk,” I said when I stopped in front of her.
She tore her gaze from the floor and nodded, her wavy brown hair falling over her eyes so she had to shove it back. The movement was almost violent, but it was the expression in her eyes that I focused on. She felt guilty, I could tell, and it was a relief.
Emma looked past me to the crowded common area, something none of us were quite used to yet, then turned back toward the stairs. “Let’s go to the clinic.”
I followed her down without comment, and then into the dark clinic when we reached the next level. She flipped on the lights but didn’t turn right away, and I remained quiet, shifting from foot to foot as I waited for her to speak.
Finally, she turned to face me. “I’m sorry. I know I’m being unreasonable. I just can’t believe you’ve known you’re immune for a year and never mentioned it. When I think about being outside the fence either on runs or killing zombies and how often my worry went to you, it blows my mind.” I opened my mouth to protest, but she held her hand up to stop me. “I know. You made Jasper a promise, and if there’s anything none of us go back on, it’s a promise to Jasper.”
She looked down, either thinking about how I had broken that promise or how none of us would ever make a promise to him again.
When she didn’t say anything else, I finally spoke up. “You know I would have told you if it had been up to me.”
“I know.” Her eyes were still down. “I keep thinking about how much we’ve shared, all the moments I helped you through, and the times something happened and you were the first person I told. It feels like someone stole something from me, no matter how stupid that is.” When she lifted her gaze, there were tears in her brown eyes. “You’re my best friend, and it isn’t because it’s only been the six of us for so long. It’s because we have this connection I’ve never experienced before.”
“I know,” I said, tears coming to my own eyes. “Don’t you think I know?”
Emma gave me a teary smile. “I’m sorry for being a bitch.”
“Now or every time?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes. “Every time.”
We both laughed, and I reached out, grabbing her arm so I could pull her against me, hugging her tight.
“You’ve never been a bitch, Emma.”
She snorted in my ear. “Ask Blake about that, and he might disagree.”
I laughed, and when she pulled away, I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, thinking about Blake and Christine and what might happen there.
“Have you noticed all the time he’s been spending with Bill’s daughter since they got here?”
Emma’s eyebrows pulled together. “No. Has he?”
“He has. I know he likes her, and I think the feeling is mutual.”
Emma nodded slowly, thoughtfully, her gaze moving past me like she was looking at them even though neither of the people we were talking about was in the room. “Oh.”
“I wanted to give you some warning.”
She said nothing, still staring past me, and I couldn’t read the expression in her eyes.
“Emma?”
“Wow, I really am a bitch, because I’m jealous.” She snorted again, but this time it was at herself. “All these months of Cade and me flaunting ou
r relationship, and I have to begrudge Blake the first chance he’s had to move on.”
“It’s only natural,” I assured her. “You were together for a long time. That’s why I wanted to warn you.”
She nodded, but she didn’t look convinced. “Well, I’m going to be happy for him. I’m determined to be. He deserves it. We weren’t right for each other, but Blake is a good guy.”
As much as Emma wanted to think she was a bitch, that statement proved she wasn’t.
We headed back up to the common area, which to me seemed to be throbbing with activity. Bill and his wife had returned to their game of chess, and little Tiana had joined them while I was gone. She was perched on her adoptive father’s lap, listening attentively as he explained the game to her. Across the room, a handful of people, the sisters included, were playing pool, while the thud of music flowed from the TV in the theater.
Cade and Kellan were leaning against the bar talking, and Emma and I went over to join them. She sidled up to Cade, giving him a slight nod to let him know we’d talked things out, and when he put his arm around her, he kissed her on the side of her head. When I stopped at Kellan’s side, he smiled and took my hand, giving it a squeeze.
The guys were discussing Andrew and what this new development might mean, but I was focused on the people in the room. There were so many new faces, some of them whose names I couldn’t even remember, and it was nice. Familiar, even though the noise was shocking as well. It reminded me of all those years ago, before we’d let Laurie into our lives and she’d destroyed the security we’d built.
Harper had come into the room while I was gone and stood at the end of the bar not too far from us, but her focus was on Bill and Tiana as they talked. Her eyes brimmed with curiosity as she watched the interaction, but there was something else there, as well. Sadness. Grief, even.
Slipping my hand out of Kellan’s, I moved over to join her. “You doing okay?”
We’d only spoken a little about what had happened while Andrew was holding her, just enough for me to reassure myself that she hadn’t been violated. Now that things had settled down for the time being, I was reminded that not only was she just a kid, but she was still new here as well. Not part of Bill’s group, but not really part of ours yet, either. She had no one to lean on if she was struggling. Not the way the rest of us did.
The Oklahoma Wastelands Series Box Set | Books 1-3 Page 43
