Carly didn’t have an answer, at least one she was ready to share. Thankfully, they’d arrived at the therapist’s office and Carly pulled open the door. Tonight she planned on simply listening to everyone else. Her mood had shifted and she wasn’t ready to talk about her own problems.
After greeting all the women, Carly settled into her favorite chair and felt much of her tension start to ebb. Being around these ladies, knowing they understood, was a blessing that gave her great comfort. She allowed herself to become engrossed in each widow’s comments, offering a nod of agreement now and then.
Until Trudy spoke. Like Carly, Trudy had lost her husband to a heart attack in her twenties. They’d only been married a year. Carly felt a deep connection with her experience.
Trudy twisted the edge of her sweater in her hands. “I need help. I’ve, uh, met someone and we’ve been going out. He’s really nice and fun, but I...” She stopped and looked at Nina. “I don’t know what to do. What should I do?”
Carly listened closely as each woman offered her advice, most of which encouraged Trudy to pursue the relationship with her new young man. But her concerns and reluctance were similar to Carly’s. How did you let go and love someone else when you had loved your husband so completely?
Trudy posed the same question Carly had been wrestling with. If she was developing feelings for Mack, did that mean she hadn’t loved Troy as much as she should have?
The two men were so different. Mack brought out the best in her. He made her challenge herself, forced her to be truthful with herself and pushed her out of her comfort zone. Troy had created a comfort zone around her, kept her protected, happy and comfortable. Together they had been a happy couple. Safe. Predictable. Warm. Until he died. Then her world had become cold and harsh.
The truth was she’d always loved Mack. And she was falling for him again. He was the standard by which she measured other men. Troy had come closest. He’d been kind, generous and loving. He’d treated her like a princess and he’d adored Ella. Being a father was his greatest joy. She had loved him, deeply. Had it been enough? Had she cheated him of her deepest love because she had given that part of her heart to Mack when she was young?
The meeting ended and Carly took her time gathering her things, hanging back, not wanting to make small talk this evening. She was the last to leave, but Nina stopped her in the reception area.
“I can see something is on your mind. Would you like to talk about it?”
Carly shook her head. “I need to sort it out on my own.”
“If I had to guess, I’d say you and Trudy are facing the same dilemma. Am I right?”
Nina Johnson didn’t miss a thing. Many times she’d helped one of the widows home in on a crucial problem and guided them through the shadows. Maybe Carly could benefit from a different point of view.
“I’m starting to have feelings for someone and I’m worried that... I mean, I loved my husband. I truly did, but what I’m feeling now is so much different, so much—”
“Stronger?”
She nodded.
Nina touched her arm gently. “I understand completely. When I met my current husband, I fought like crazy not to love him. My first husband was a wonderful, noble man, a chaplain who offered spiritual comfort to many. I thought if I fell in love with another man, I’d be dismissing our marriage as unimportant.”
“How did you get over it?”
“I finally realized that there’s no one way to love someone. My love for Chip was a totally different set of emotions from my love for Bret. I wasn’t stealing something from the past and giving it to the present. It was simply a different man and a different kind of love.”
“But I think I’ve loved this man since I was young. I’m afraid I’ve somehow cheated Troy because this other man still owned part of my heart.”
“I understand, but a wise friend asked me a question when I was at the same point you are. She asked me if my husband loved me and if he would want me to honor his memory by being alone or to be happy and share the future with someone I loved.”
Carly nodded. “Thank you, Nina. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“I’m here whenever you need me. And remember. I’m a widow, too. I understand what you’re going through.”
After saying goodbye, Carly headed home, contemplating what Nina had said. If only she could flip a switch and turn off her emotions in one area and flip them on in another. Her biggest challenge now was keeping her feelings hidden from Mack. There were still too many obstacles between them to let her heart carry her away.
* * *
Mack strolled along the edge of the lake toward the worship center on the north side of the lodge. Thelma had told him Carly was working in the outdoor chapel this morning and he was hoping to have a word with her. She’d been avoiding him since his homecoming and he wanted to know why.
As he followed the path and made the curve to the center, he caught sight of her near the altar with its giant handmade cross, the centerpiece of the outdoor church. She looked adorable in her usual work attire—khaki cargo shorts, a blue tank top and sturdy boots. With the sunlight coming through the trees, he could imagine her as a teenager again, though he much preferred the grown woman Carly was now.
He slowly approached the altar, walking down the center aisle. “I’d forgotten how peaceful the place was.”
Carly turned to face him, but made only brief eye contact. “It is. And, as far as I can tell, it’s in good shape. I only found one loose bench.”
“Good to hear.”
Carly looked away, putting her tools back into her small toolbox. “How’s your arm?”
He moved his forearm up and down. “Almost healed. It really was a minor wound.”
“I’m glad. I was—We were all very concerned about you. We prayed for you every minute.”
“And I felt that. I also felt you wanted to tell me something that day I came home.” He saw the reluctance in her expression and her refusal to look him in the eyes. “Anything happen while I was gone?”
She hesitated a moment. “I decided to take your advice.”
“Oh? About what?”
“I tracked down the woman who left her earring in my dad’s car.”
“Really?” He hadn’t expected that. “How did it go?”
Carly sat down on one of the wooden bench pews. “I found out that my mom lied about everything. She was the one having an affair, not my dad. She was planning to run away with a man named Richard, but he stood her up so she turned all her anger and humiliation onto my dad. We left the next day.”
“I’m sorry.”
She met his gaze. “I shouldn’t have believed her, but everything she said made sense. Then I found the earring and it came right after Dad missed my birthday to be with you.”
“I explained that.”
“I know but it was all too much. I just wanted to get away from here and everyone connected with Longleaf. I felt like there was no reason for me to stay. I left and never intended to come back.”
“But you did. The next summer.”
“I had to. It was part of the custody agreement. I had to spend summers with my dad.”
A rush of courage rose in his chest. “I was very glad you did. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I was disappointed when you left after only a week.” Carly’s cheeks turned a light pink. Was she embarrassed by his admission or was there something else?
She stood and put some distance between them. “Well, I didn’t want to stay any longer. It was clear I wasn’t welcome.”
Mack studied her a moment. Her posture said she was hurt, upset. “Why did you think that? I remember your father being happy as a kid that you were back at the lodge. And I was, too. I’d missed my friend.”
“Friend. Yes, of course. So do you always kiss your friends?” Carly blanched and ran u
p the aisle in a rush.
Mack reached out for her arm to halt her. “Carly. I’m sorry, that was a mistake.”
“You made that very clear.”
He exhaled a tense breath, trying to ignore the accusing glare in her eyes. “That’s not what I mean. Kissing you wasn’t the mistake. The timing was.”
“I don’t understand.”
“That summer it was so great to see you again, but you were running hot and cold. One day you were like your old self and the next you were freezing me out.”
“It was a confusing time for me.”
“I remember. I found you up at your favorite spot, the fallen tree overlooking the lake. You were crying. We talked about Atlanta and how you didn’t like your mom’s new boyfriend. You even admitted that you missed the lodge a little. You were torn between being with your mom and your reluctance to come back and live with your dad. You were so sad and lost and I wanted to comfort you somehow. Then you looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes, and I forgot everything else.”
“So you kissed me out of pity?”
“Of course not, but I didn’t want to give you the wrong idea.”
“And what idea would that have been? That you cared?”
How did he explain without telling her how he’d felt? How did he explain that that kiss had rattled him to his core and he was still trying to make sense of it after all this time?
Carly’s brown eyes sparked and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Let me get this straight. You cared so much that you ran to your old girlfriend Natalie? I saw you two kissing in the canoe the next morning. I got the message, Mack. Loud and clear.” She made a checkmark gesture in the air. “Kiss Carly. Next up, Natalie.”
“You know that’s not what happened.” Mack tried to find the words to explain his behavior. At the time, seeking out his old girlfriend seemed like a logical way to erase kissing Carly, by turning his attention to someone else. But it hadn’t worked. Nothing could erase the profound effect of Carly’s kiss. Telling her that now would be a huge mistake, not to mention sounding ridiculous. Her words finally registered. “Wait. Did you leave because you thought I was toying with you?”
“What else could I have thought?”
She walked out of the worship center, leaving him at a loss for words. Had Carly run away that summer because of that kiss? He’d expected her to be angry with him or even uncomfortable. He’d worried that she might tell her father, but from what she’d just said, she’d been hurt and disappointed. Was it possible she’d cared for him, too, back then?
He’d always believed that kiss had affected her, too, but he’d thought he was imagining it to soothe his conscience.
Now he began to wonder.
* * *
Carly sat on the wooden deck steps watching Ella and Lucy tossing a squeaky ball between Petunia and Poppy. The girls were wearing their matching outfits today and looked adorable. Riley came and rested his head on her knee in a shameless ploy to be petted.
Sundays were her realignment days. Attending Lakeside Church allowed her to take a step back and refocus on what was really important. It was also a brief respite from Mack. He and Lucy attended a different church with the Thompsons. The Thompsons usually visited Thelma’s mother, who was in a local nursing home, after services, and Mack and Lucy always spent the day together.
She and Ella took advantage of the afternoons to explore the Lake Hope community.
But the day was waning and the evening was warm and balmy, perfect for a cookout. This was her favorite time of day, when they all came back together. They’d worked hard this week and made good progress. The deadline was only two weeks away and if the inspections were done on time, they’d be ahead of the game. They could open for business and satisfy the conditions of her father’s will. But that still left the big question of what would come next. Sell out or stay and run the lodge and campgrounds?
She glanced up to see Mack coming toward the deck from the direction of the lake. He looked good in his dark jeans and a light plaid cotton shirt with the sleeves rolled up. The fading light made his dark hair appear coal black and drew attention to his eyes. She’d avoided him since their conversation in the worship center. Talking about that kiss long ago had only muddled her thoughts and her emotions. She was glad when he merely smiled at her and went to sit with Dwayne at the patio table on the deck.
Thelma strode onto the deck with the plate of hamburger patties ready to go on the grill. She set it on the side shelf, then cleared her throat and clasped her hands in front of her.
“We have a problem. I just got an email from the Magnolia House in Olive Branch. They were calling to confirm their stay this weekend.”
Dwayne muttered under his breath. “I’d forgotten about them. What did you tell them?”
“Nothing. I didn’t know what y’all wanted to do about it. They had no idea the lodge had closed or that Wade had passed away.”
Carly stood and came to the table. “I don’t understand. What’s this about?”
Dwayne leaned his arms on the patio table. “A few years ago, your dad partnered with an orphanage up in Olive Branch to bring the children to the campgrounds for a weekend. It’s their big trip each year.”
Carly took a seat. There was no way they could host a group of kids. “Can’t we reschedule?”
Mack crossed his arms over his chest. “How? We don’t even know if the campgrounds will be operating in a few weeks.”
Carly didn’t appreciate his insinuation. “Then we’ll have to cancel.”
Dwayne stood. “No. This weekend was your dad’s pet project. We need to find a way to make this happen. We can’t disappoint those kids. It means the world to them.” He glanced at his wife. “We’ve seen firsthand the joy on those kids’ faces.”
Mack nodded. “How many kids are you talking about?”
Thelma came to the table as Dwayne placed the burgers on the grill. “Ten to fifteen. They usually stay in the big cabin. We provide the meals and supervise the activities.”
“The big cabin isn’t nearly ready for guests and they’re going to be here in six days.”
“Five days. They always arrive on Friday afternoon and leave after breakfast on Sunday.”
“How are we going to do this? We’re not even sure we can get the place open before the deadline. Trying to open a week early is practically impossible.”
Dwayne shook his head. “Nothing is impossible. We simply have to rethink things, that’s all. Mack, how does our to-do list look right now?”
“I’ll get my tablet and we can see where we stand.” He went inside to retrieve his device.
Thelma drummed her fingers on her arm. “My biggest problem is staffing. I haven’t hired nearly enough people to run the lodge, let alone a grounds crew. The children will want to swim, but the young man who will run the snack bar can’t start for another week. Maybe I can get him to come for those few days. With extra pay.”
Dwayne flipped the burgers, then closed the lid on the grill. “We can house them in the smaller cabins. Boys in one and girls in the other. The watercraft are ready.”
“Since they’re staying in the cabins, we don’t need to worry about maids and I can handle the cooking for a group that size. The children tend to eat at the snack bar, and we always provide a cookout in one of the pavilions on Friday night.”
“If we open for the group, how do we handle the others who’ve been wanting to make reservations?”
Thelma waved off the concern. “We’ll call it a private party. We’ve hosted many in the past.”
“So if we pull this off, will this private party qualify as the lodge being open? Will the conditions of the will be met?”
Mack rubbed his chin. “Good question.”
Carly tucked her hair behind her ears. “I’ll call the attorney first thing in the morning.”
Thelma turned worried eyes on her husband, then on Mack. “What do I tell the folks at Magnolia House?”
Dwayne stood. “Tell them we’ll be looking forward to hosting them. I’m not going to disappoint those kids.”
Carly could see how much it meant to the Thompsons. If it had meant that much to her dad, then she wanted to make the weekend work, no matter how much had to get done. “So where does that leave us repair-wise?”
Mack slipped his hands into his pockets. “Clearing the trails, moving extra beds into the two smaller cabins and repairing the fishing dock.”
An excited smile appeared on Thelma’s face. “I’ll take care of stocking the pantries. You three handle the rest.”
Mack looked at Dwayne. “If you’ll handle the dock repair, I’ll finish painting the cabins.”
Carly saw a hole in their plan. “But what about that weekend? If we’re going to work with a skeleton crew, then we need to assign responsibilities.”
“We’ll do what we did back in the old days.” Dwayne grinned. “I’ll handle the watercraft. I’ll get the old corn hole game set up, along with the badminton. I’ll also double-check the playground. Thelma will be in charge of food and hostess duties—and the girls. Mack will handle the snack bar and pool. The kids always swim as a group, so that will be easy.”
“What about me?” She didn’t want to be left out.
“You’ll do what you used to. Be the liaison between the leader of the group and us. Make sure they have everything they need and have a great time. You were always good with the guests, especially the little ones.”
Carly rubbed her lower lip. “This all sounds good, but without the building inspections and the health department okay we can’t do anything. Scheduling the inspections have been nearly impossible. They’re overloaded to begin with and I’ve been unable to persuade them to move us ahead of the others. We can’t do anything without those.”
Their Family Blessing Page 13
