“I know you’ve never cared for him, but I feel I must defend him.”
I tried to remember a time in the past when Emme may have seen Saint and I interact, but I couldn’t recall an occasion when we did.
“It’s more in the way you talked about him,” she said, nudging me.
“Or it’s that you read minds.”
“If I could, I never would’ve doubted you,” she repeated what she’d said yesterday.
“You could look at it this way; I was better at my job than you thought.”
She laughed, and so did I. It was a nice reminder of how much I’d enjoyed working with her when I first went undercover at MIT.
“Back to Saint. He’s a good man, Paxon. I doubt Lynx and I would be together if it weren’t for his interference.”
“Interesting word choice.”
She laughed again.
“Look, I appreciate what you’re saying. However, from my perspective, maybe even Lynx’s too, the man should probably consider a different career.”
“Are you saying you don’t believe he’s effective in his role as an MI6 agent?”
“I doubt you’d find many who disagree with me.”
“Perhaps not.” When she walked away, Decker approached.
“Ready to get back to work?”
“In a minute.” I went outside and Decker followed. “What I said earlier about not knowing the end game on this, I really don’t. I suppose the only way we’ll know how much deeper this goes is to get Harris and/or Fisk to talk.”
“Fisk we have; Harris we don’t.”
“Do we go in and get him or negotiate his release?”
“Fuck negotiation. We go in and get him the same way we went in and got Saint and Benjamin.”
“Any idea where he’s being kept?”
“This idea that the Chinese can hide where prisoners are being detained is nothing but a big crock of fucking propaganda. Name one, give me fifteen minutes, and I’ll tell you where they’re being held.”
“Do you think they consider him a prisoner?”
“With everything he knows, they’re keeping him alive for the sole purpose of making a deal. Once Jinyan dies, or someone else they want bad enough to trade him for, Xander dies too.”
“That’s no secret to Xander, then.”
“Sure as shit isn’t.”
“Fisk knows it too.”
“You got that right, Irish. He wasn’t afraid of Kerr; it’s China that terrifies him.”
When I walked back inside, I saw Decker rub his hands together. “You aren’t going,” I said over my shoulder.
“I know,” he grumbled. “I’ll sure as hell be watching from home, though.”
I approached Money first, who by the time I got to him had already started packing up his computer. “About time. I thought I was going to be forced to suggest leaving myself. Better that I don’t know the details than if I have to run this up the chain of command.”
“I’m going to ask Dr. Charles, err, Edgemon to step out as well.”
“Understood.”
Money put his hand on my shoulder. “Godspeed, Irish.”
At the same time I walked Money and Emme out, Saint drove up.
“Where’s Dr. Benjamin?” I asked when he got out of the SUV.
“Making contact with Jinyan.”
“You should go with them,” I said, pointing to the vehicle Money had just unlocked.
“Why?”
“Because what’s about to happen in there is need-to-know.”
“You’re going in.”
I had no reaction.
“I need to go with you.”
Interesting word choice. “Need?”
“Yes, Irish. Need.”
“I can’t help you, Saint.” I turned to go inside.
“Wait.”
I sighed. “What?”
“I will agree to any role you choose.”
“What’s this all about, Saint?”
“I’ve left MI6.”
“And?”
“This is what I do, Irish. I am presently a man with no purpose.”
“Maybe you should take a moment to reflect on how you got in this situation.”
“I left MI6 of my own accord. I was not asked to leave.”
“Why?”
“For the same reason many of the men inside that room left the CIA or Lynx left MI6 as I did. I was tired of my hands being perpetually tied. Tired of the bureaucracy that came along with the job. Do you realize I have been Benjamin’s bloody caretaker for the past three years?”
“I don’t know…”
“There was a time in your life when people believed you were someone you’re not. I was there when the men and women in that room showed you their support. I saw the look on your face. Allow me this one chance to prove I am not the man you believe I am.”
“Fuck,” I said under my breath.
“What?”
“It isn’t hard to see how you were able to seduce those millions of women you’ve bedded.”
“As I said, you know how it feels to have people believe you’re someone you’re not.”
“Let me ask you something.”
“Go on.”
“At one point, Lynx said you were with Emme. Is that true?”
“To me, she was Charlie, and to her, I was Tommy. As far as being with her, tell me, Irish, didn’t you fall a little bit in love with her yourself?”
“Hard not to.”
“Precisely.” He looked out at the ranch and then at me. “As hard as this was for me to accept at one point in time, Lynx is the man she was always meant to be with. And before you ask, our dear, sweet Dr. Charles was as clueless of my affections as she is brilliant in so many other ways.”
When we went inside, it was evident Decker had made the announcement that we were going to extract Harris.
Like I saw Deck do earlier, Gunner was rubbing his hands together like a child waiting to open a Christmas present.
Doc motioned me over. “I’ll be honest, it isn’t easy for any of us not to take charge and plan this extraction. However, we’re following your lead. I will, however, offer the use of any of the K19 fleet of planes.”
“Fleet, what a crock of shit,” mumbled Decker, joining us.
“I’d appreciate it if we could walk through this before announcing it to the entire group.”
“Roger that,” said Doc, motioning for Razor and Gunner to take a hike.
He, Deck, and I sat down.
“I’m going to be equally honest. I’ve never run an extraction mission. Correction. I’ve never been on an extraction mission.”
“You trained for it; it’ll come back to you. Plus, you’ll have the best of the best by your side. We won’t let you fuck up too bad,” said Deck.
“I hope you’re including K19 in that group,” said Doc.
“You know I am, especially since I can’t come along. Mila—”
“Say no more,” said Doc. “Even if you said you wanted to go, no one in this room would allow it.”
I chuckled at the look on Decker’s face. As if he’d permit anyone to say no to him—except maybe Mila.
“He’s here,” he said, pointing to a map on his computer screen.
“Shanghai?” I asked.
Decker zoomed in. “Within Gongqing Forest Park, along the Huangpu River, there are at least three ‘cottages’ used as hei jianyu or black jails.”
I’d heard the term that referred to a network of detention centers established by Chinese security forces and private security companies where detainees were held without trial, often without knowing the reason for their incarceration. As seen on the screen, many of these facilities looked like cottages; some were even set up within hotels. Regardless of what they looked like on the outside, within, they were referred to as the “alleyways to hell.”
Since they were often manned by private security personnel, there was no oversight of treatment. According to many human rights activ
ists, the majority of the guards were hired specifically for their sadistic personalities.
Someone like Harris would likely have believed he was being given a home in the forest where he would be protected twenty-four seven. Instead, it was plausible that he was beaten, deprived of food and sleep, and even of medical attention if it was required.
Decker outlined what he believed would be the quickest and safest way in and out.
Two teams would fly from Los Angeles to Taiwan. From there, seaplanes—the riskiest part of the mission other than the extraction itself—would transport us over the China Sea to the archipelago Zhoushan. Once there, we would travel by car to Gongqing.
Total travel time would be almost forty-eight hours there and back for an extraction planned to take less than fifteen minutes.
“We’ll leave at zero six hundred tomorrow and depart six hours later out of Los Angeles,” said Doc. “While we’re in the air, we’ll review the extraction op Decker and Gunner are preparing for us.”
“Do you need me to be a part of that?” I asked Decker.
“If you would like to be, it’s your call. However, no offense, Irish, but I don’t even need Gunner’s help.”
“Bullshit,” he said, pulling out a chair and sitting down. “I’m the one who doesn’t need you.”
“Come on,” said Doc, motioning for me to follow. “These two will go at it all night if they have an audience.”
40
Flynn
Is it still early? said the text Paxon sent.
It’s four in the afternoon, I responded.
Where are you?
Sitting on the porch swing, waiting for you.
Be right there.
I didn’t tell him I wasn’t alone. He’d find that out soon enough.
When the black SUV pulled up, two men got out. I was as shocked to see Paxon arrive with Saint as he probably was to see Dr. Benjamin seated beside me.
Saint picked up his pace so he was the first to walk up the steps. “Flynn,” he said.
“Hi,” I responded, looking beyond him at Paxon’s puzzled expression.
“Adam? What are you doing here?”
“I went for a walk…”
“He got a little lost,” I answered for him.
The expression on Paxon’s face didn’t change as he walked closer. I shook my head, just slightly, and he nodded.
“She’s gone.”
“I’m sorry,” said Saint, reaching forward to put his hand on the man’s arm.
Saint looked over his shoulder at Paxon, who turned around and walked back to the SUV. When he got inside, I could see he made a phone call.
“Let’s get you to the cabin, and we’ll make arrangements—”
“I need to go to her.”
“Understood,” said Saint, helping him up from the swing. “Who told you?”
“The nurse.”
I stood too. “Can I give you a hug before you go?”
Dr. Benjamin turned to me, and we embraced briefly before Saint escorted him to the same vehicle Paxon had gotten into. He held up his index finger, which I took as meaning he’d be right back.
I felt so awful for the man I found walking aimlessly down the dirt road that led to the three cabins where our guests were staying.
“Can I help?” I’d asked, pulling up beside him.
“I believe I took a wrong turn.”
“Well, climb on in, and I’ll get you to wherever you were headed.” I never found out where that had been because when he started talking, I drove to the closest place I could think of where we could sit and I could listen to him.
He told me the story of how he’d met the woman who was the love of his life and how, even though they couldn’t be together because of what they both did for a living, they’d never loved anyone else—except for the son they shared that, until earlier today, no one knew was his.
A few minutes later, the SUV returned. This time, Paxon was the only person in it.
“Hey,” he said, walking up and sitting beside me.
“Hey.” I rested my head on his shoulder.
“He said you picked him up on the side of the road.”
“Inside the ranch, but yes. The woman he loved died.”
“I heard.”
“You have something else to talk to me about, though, don’t you?”
Paxon turned and looked into my eyes. “I have to leave.”
“Okay.”
“First thing tomorrow.”
I nodded, unsure what to say.
“Can you stay?”
“With you tonight?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Of course.”
Paxon stood, took my hand, and led me inside.
41
Irish
Of course I wished Flynn and I could make love tonight. There wasn’t another woman in the world I wanted to be with, could be with, but neither of us was ready. We hardly knew each other. And yet, somewhere deep inside, it felt as though I’d known her forever.
“Just so you know, I won’t ask where you’re going.”
“If you did, I couldn’t tell you.”
“There’s another question I want to ask.”
“Go ahead.”
She shook her head. “Maybe later.”
“There are so many things I want to say to you.”
Flynn smiled. “Go ahead,” she repeated my words.
“Maybe later.”
“Paxon? Can you just hold me?”
I led her into the bedroom. “Is this okay with you?”
“It is.”
Flynn put her hand in mine, and I led her over to the bed. We both lay on it, facing each other in the same way we had last night on the floor in front of the fireplace. I looked into her eyes, wishing I was better at putting the right words together to tell her how I felt.
“I want you to know how much these last few days, these last hours in particular, have meant to me.”
She pulled away and her brow furrowed, but I tightened my grip so she was close enough that I could kiss her.
“Paxon—”
“Shh.” I put my fingertips on her lips. “I’m not saying goodbye or telling you we can only be friends. I just really suck at this.”
She smiled. “Just say how you feel.”
Could I? If I did, would I sound insane?
“Just do it,” she whispered, brushing my lips with hers.
I rolled over and looked up at the ceiling. There were a hundred things I wanted to say, all at once, and yet I couldn’t get a single one out.
“I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone, and when I return, I don’t know where I’ll be going next.” Did that even make sense?
“Where do you want to go?”
“I’d love to come back here—”
Flynn kissed me. Not just a lip brush, an actual kiss. When her tongue pushed into my mouth, I pushed too. I gathered her into my arms and rolled so her body rested on mine.
“Did I say the wrong thing?” I asked when she pulled away and rested her head on my chest.
“No. The exact right thing, actually.”
I laughed. “Which was?”
“That you’d love to come back here. And before you say ‘but,’ that’s why I kissed you. To stop you from saying it.”
“Flynn—”
This time, she put her fingers on my lips. “Look, I know how your life works. I’ve seen it firsthand with my brother. I know I may not ever see you again, but for tonight, I want to pretend that I will.”
“It isn’t that I don’t want to.”
“I know, Paxon.”
“What I’m about to say will sound like the most selfish thing you’ve ever heard, but I went a very long time without comfort in my life. Today, when all I needed was that, you gave it to me. It was the most precious gift, and I’ll never forget that.”
“I’m going to ask something of you.”
“Go ahead.”
“Comfort me now,
Paxon.”
I drew her into my arms and ran my hands up and down her back. She raised her face and kissed me.
“I want more,” she whispered.
I didn’t need to ask what she meant. It was obvious by the way she moved against me. Her body responded instinctively, but that didn’t mean either one of us was ready for more.
“Paxon?”
I put my hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes. “As much as I want to feel your bare skin against mine, I don’t want to rush this. You mean something to me, Flynn. When the time is right, for both of us, there will be more.”
Her cheeks were bright red, and she tried to look away.
“Flynn, please. I want to do the right thing.”
She wrapped her fingers around my wrist and brought my right hand to rest on her breast.
I shuddered, feeling the pebbled nipple against my palm. My cock throbbed with want, but my mind had to prevail.
“Just this,” she whispered, unfastening the buttons on her blouse. “When you leave, I want to remember your touch. Give me that, Paxon.”
I shifted my body and sat up. When Flynn did the same, I reached around and unfastened her bra. She let it and her blouse slide off her body.
“Just this,” I said, taking my time learning the curves of the upper half of her body. I didn’t stop with her breasts; I kissed her mouth, the side of her neck, the soft skin on the inside of her elbow.
Flynn whimpered and mewled; they were the most beautiful sounds I’d ever heard. I’d give anything to remove the clothes—hers and mine—that were a barrier between us. Anything except the hurt and confusion I knew she’d feel when I had to leave before dawn.
Our kisses were harder, deeper, softer, sweeter, more impassioned than any I’d experienced in my life.
“There’s something I need to say, and it won’t be easy.”
Her eyes filled with tears.
“I’m sorry, Flynn, but I must say it.”
“It’s okay.”
I held her tight to me. “If I don’t come back, I want you to know that this has been the most important night of my life. I’ve never known how it felt to be so torn about leaving. I never knew how hard it was to leave a loved one behind when called for a mission. I couldn’t empathize with the men and women I worked with, because I’d never felt it for myself. As important as this mission is to me, as much as I’ve sacrificed in my life to see it through, I do not want to leave you. It’s tearing me up inside.”
Irished (The Invincibles Book 7) Page 18
