by Rachel Caine
"You're sure she wasn't just trying to get in deeper with them, or preserve her cover?"
Rostow's mouth set in a flat, grim line. "I know Stephanie," he said. "Known her a long time. I can tell you that wasn't an act, and it damn sure wasn't Stephanie. What went into that compound was a great agent; what came out to quit was a true believer. She got turned. I know it in here." He tapped his gut with one hand. I believed him. There was no reason for him to lie about it, and there was real pain in his expression. "I hate losing people, but I'd rather lose them honestly than have them brainwashed into a cult."
"You realize that she will have already told them everything she could about you, your operation here, and anything else that could be helpful to them."
His eyes turned blank and hard. "No shit. Surprisingly enough, I did think of it. So what other stunning revelations do you have to share with me, Warden?"
"If you help me get inside, I can get information back to you freely."
That made him frown. "Freely. As in, anytime you want."
"Exactly."
"How?"
I smiled, just a little, and fluttered his eardrum in a whisper. I just can, I said, and he jerked in surprise and clapped a hand over his left ear. "What the hell?"
"Warden abilities," I said. "You won't be able to communicate back to me, but I can talk to you across a considerable distance, as long as I can find you on the aetheric."
"I'm going to pretend that last part made sense," he said, "because I like the first part a lot. Trouble is, you're just a tad recognizable--maybe not as a Djinn, but you sure don't look like a likely recruit, either."
"I can manage."
"Do you have any idea of your own arrogance, lady?"
"Yes," I said. "Do you have any idea of yours?" One of the FBI agents pinned to the van let out a choked sound that was almost a laugh. I didn't blink. "I will let your people go if you promise good behavior. If not, you may wish to invest in some kind of welding equipment."
Rostow considered all that, and it was obvious that he really, really wanted to tell me to go to hell, but he finally nodded reluctantly. "All right," he said. "Last thing I want to do is piss off the Wardens right now. Let them go. I promise we'll play nice."
That did not seem to me to be an exact enough definition of cooperation--not for a Djinn--but he seemed sincere enough. I extended my hand, and after a hesitation he accepted the gesture and shook firmly.
As he did so, I released his people from their bonds. Some, overbalanced, sprawled on the van floor; others grabbed for their weapons. "Enough of that!" Rostow snapped, still shaking my hand. "Stand down. Not sure your guns will fire any better than mine, and we don't need more excitement in close quarters right now."
The agents quieted down, positioning themselves carefully. I noticed they did so with an eye to firing cleanly at me, should that be necessary. I didn't mind. I would restore their ability to fire their weapons, but not until I left the van.
"Now," I said, looking Rostow in the eye, "tell me how you plan to get me into the compound."
"I can't."
"You can. You've already selected another agent, and you're planning to infiltrate within the next few days."
I had to give him credit--he really didn't allow me to shock him this time. "I don't know where you're getting this stuff, but it isn't--"
"It must be," I said, "because otherwise your superiors would be demanding action of some kind, and it's been quiet and tranquil here in what I can only think is your command center. No demanding phone calls. No tension. So you have a plan, which you are in the process of executing."
A couple of agents murmured in the background, while Rostow stared bleakly at me without speaking. I waited, then said, "All I ask for is a chance. Put me in the same way you're introducing your own agent. I can serve as backup, which could be the difference between success and failure, or life and death. I'm offering you help. Take it."
"Like I said"--he shrugged--"you're don't exactly blend in."
I closed my eyes and concentrated on my physical body. It took a great deal of power--more than I could easily spare--but I slowly, carefully altered the black of my hair to a short, mousy brown, and my skin to something unremarkable for the area. My face I shifted to one I'd glimpsed in Albuquerque months ago--not pretty, not ugly, not memorable at all, except that I'd noted it for future reference. I shortened my stature and shifted the inert textures of my clothes to something bland, blocky, nothing of any identifiable style at all. After a moment's thought, I roughened the condition, added dirt and spots of grime, and the smells of old food, smoke, and unwashed sweat.
I looked like any of the thousands of struggling, subsistence-level poor to be found in any city.
I opened my eyes, looked directly at Rostow, and said, "Do I blend in now?"
I sensed it wasn't often that a man like him experienced amazement, but that was as close as he came--widened eyes, slightly open mouth that quickly snapped shut as he realized others were looking on. He needn't have worried, though. His people all looked far more thoroughly impressed, and unnerved.
"I guess that'd do," he said. "Can you--ah, do that whenever you want?"
I smiled faintly. He had no real idea of what it had just cost me. I had drained myself dangerously low, but the important thing had been to make a definitive impression. I felt the cost was justified. "No," I said, and didn't elaborate. "Will you trust me?"
"No," Rostow said. "But you've got a good point about my agent needing on-site backup. So I may not trust you, but you'd be damn useful right about now."
"You'll send me in."
"I'll recommend it," he said. "I've got bosses, lady."
I actually thought he was lying. Not about the bosses, perhaps--I was sure he did, in fact, have those--but about the need to run the question by them for approval. It was much more likely that he just wanted time to think. I could understand that, and respect it, so I nodded my acceptance.
Everyone seemed to relax, including Rostow. "Right," he said, and pointed to one of his agents. "Langston. Get the lady some coffee or something."
"Water," I said. "And a place of privacy, if you have one."
Water, they could provide me; privacy, it turned out, was a bit more problematic. I finally walked away from the mobile truck, out into the surrounding trees, and sat down with my back to a tall, strong oak with roots that reached deep, both into the ground and into the past. There, I was able to sink into a light, comfortable trance and make connection with Luis through the aetheric.
He was asleep. Dreaming. I could see that in the muted blues and purples of his aetheric colors, and the way his body floated, weightless. The shapes of his dreams were faint whirls of color, slashes of blood red, white, night black. Luis's dreams were not restful.
Oddly, they were dreams full of fire--almost a physical thing, burning him from the inside out. I could see it in eerie flickers around him. It reminded me of the flickers I'd glimpsed, from time to time, on his tattoos. He was no Fire Warden, and yet there was fire in him all the same.
Ibby had both Fire and Earth powers. I'd always assumed that was a recent addition to the family's genetic heritage with her, but perhaps, in some small way, Luis had shared it as well.
In the aetheric, I put my hand on him, and breathed peace and light into him through the connection between us. The dreams hung on stubbornly, then subsided into warmer, kinder colors. I opened the connection wider and began to pull power from him.
The dreams darkened, and I felt both his aetheric and his physical body thrashing, trying to resist the draw. I slowed it, frustrated and shaking with need, but he could give only so much without distress, and I didn't want to cause him pain. He'd once described the sensation of sending power to me as bleeding; it was no wonder that the feeling disconcerted him in his already troubled sleep.
Slowly, his power trickled through the connection, filling my empty reservoirs. I hadn't realized how weak I had been until some strength
returned to me. Dangerous, that--all too easy to overestimate what I could do and then fail at a critical moment. I was alone now, and despite his willingness to help, Luis could not always be counted on to put my mission first, or to be strong when I needed his strength. He needed power to heal and protect the children at the school as much as I needed it to pursue my own agenda.
I took as much as I dared, and then stayed with him, drifting slowly through the aetheric. There was something unguarded about him this way, something pure and poignant. It was hard to turn away, leave him to his dreams and nightmares, but I had nightmares of my own to face.
Alone.
I made my way back to the FBI trailer and found Rostow deep in conversation with a man of average height, with roughly cut sandy hair and thick eyebrows, with skin that had seen too much sun and taken on a leathery, prematurely aged look. He had icy gray eyes, startling in that tanned face, and his hands were rough and scarred. He looked like a laborer, and dressed like one as well, in battered denim and canvas. His shoes had split under hard use and been patched with dull silver tape. There was dirt ingrained under his fingernails, and when he said, "This her?" I noticed that his teeth were uneven and discolored.
Rostow nodded. "Cassiel," he said. "But we'd better get you a name that isn't quite so memorable." He tapped one of his computer operators on the shoulder. "Jen, get her a good set of creds, something with a minor record--theft, vandalism, something like that. Something easy to remember."
Agent Jen nodded, bent to work at her keyboard, and then left the trailer. She returned a few moments later with an envelope, which came with a receipt I was asked to sign. I did so, and found in the envelope an Arizona identification card and bus pass in the name of Laura Rose Larkin. There was also a detailed sheet giving the past of Laura Larkin--parents' names, addresses, and dates of birth, schools attended, residence history, close associates, and crimes. It seemed very credible. Rostow nodded toward the paper in my hand and said, "Memorize it. You've got the night, but you need to be completely up to speed before we drop you and Merle here tomorrow. Oh, and this is Merle, by the way. You're in good hands. He's our best."
Merle didn't smile. He didn't seem to be much prone to it. I couldn't detect much in the way of emotion from him at all; I supposed that if he was, as he seemed, a professional undercover agent, then he'd long ago learned how damaging emotions could be. "Better know that stuff backward and forward," he said. "Word is, these guys test pretty thoroughly. You make mistakes, they'll dump you quick."
"I won't make mistakes."
"Well," Merle said, looking at Rostow, "she's confident. Give her that."
"If she screws up, don't go down with the ship," his boss replied. "Cut her loose. You don't know her; you just wound up standing in the same space. You, same thing. You don't know him. You've got zero history."
"Then we shouldn't be building one now," Merle said, and nodded to me. "See ya." He left, slamming the door behind him, and I raised my eyebrows at Rostow.
"Learn your stuff," he said. "Don't expect Merle to cover your ass. You're there to back him up, not vice versa. Understood? Good. Now go get some sleep. Jen will show you to the racks. We'll get you up in a few hours and start moving you around. You're going to get off a bus in Trenton. We'll give you directions from there. You won't see Merle again until you're both met by the recruiters. Got it?"
There was nothing not to get, but I acknowledged with a slight nod. Agent Jen got up from her computer and walked me from the trailer down a path through the woods, which opened into a clearing where a small camouflage tent was pitched. A latrine tent was situated near the tree line.
"Rules," she said, as she opened the flap of the main structure. "Don't talk to anybody. Don't touch anything that isn't on your bunk. And if you snore, prepare to be smothered in your sleep. We don't get much downtime. What we get, we value."
I liked Agent Jen. She was forthright. She handed me a plate of fruit and sliced meats and bread, gave me a bottle of water, needlessly pointed out the latrine, and showed me to a narrow, neatly made bunk with a thin pillow and light blanket. I ate, then spent two hours reading over and over the material that I'd been given. When I was certain that it was as natural to me as any other thing in my unnatural life, I stretched out, wrapped myself in the thin blanket, and was asleep--unsnoring--by the time the next agent came to claim his bunk.
The next morning was a grim march. I was woken early, when the sky was still black, and hustled into a rusted pickup truck driven by a silent Hispanic man wearing a battered straw hat, who drove me two hours in the darkness to a deserted bus station. "Next bus," he said, which was two more words than he'd exchanged with me thus far. He handed me some crushed folded bills, soft from use, and a handful of loose change. "Get off in Trenton. Look for a blond kid in a hoodie passed out on a bench and with a skateboard and a backpack. Wake him up. He'll tell you where to go next."
That was the extent of our friendship. He drove off almost before the truck door had slammed, leaving me feeling unexpectedly alone and exposed under the glare of a spotlight in front of the closed bus station. I waited, pacing to ward off the cold, until a lone bus arrived in a huff of air brakes. I climbed on board and paid the driver, then huddled--like the others--in a plush but battered seat. No one noticed me; as I looked around, I saw a bus full of people wrapped in their own personal struggles and tragedies, with no interest in mine.
It was perfect.
Dawn broke as we arrived in Trenton, and I found the sleeping skateboarder, who looked hardly old enough to be in the FBI. He glared at me through glazed eyes, and then muttered an address. I repeated it, and he rolled over and went back to sleep, apparently. The bus station had a map on the wall, and I used it to locate the address, which was more than a mile away. I walked, hands in my pockets, head down, as the city began to come alive around me. I looked needy, poor, and a little desperate, and I soon realized that these were things that served to isolate me as surely as if I had been walking the street alone.
I found the address, which was a dreary-looking coffee shop. I didn't have instructions on what to do, so I ordered the smallest, cheapest drink I could with my remaining crumpled cash and sat in a corner, sipping slowly, practicing a dull, weary stare.
I was still practicing it when a woman came in dressed in an expensive business suit and ordered coffee. Once she had it, I expected her to hurry on, as most everyone had done, but she picked up her briefcase and walked over to me with sharp, confident steps. She sat, opened her briefcase, took out an envelope, and looked at me as she sipped her coffee. Bright brown eyes, and an even, regular face. "What's your name?" she asked.
"Laura," I said. "Larkin. Hi."
"You come far, Laura?"
I nodded. "From Arizona," I said.
"Really?" She blew on the surface of her coffee lightly. "Whereabouts?"
"Tucson," I said.
"Where'd you hear about us?"
This was gray area, and I shrugged. "Around."
"Around where?"
"California," I said. That was a safe bet, I thought; it was reasonably close to Arizona, and not unlikely that if I'd been struggling to find food and shelter, I'd have made my way there at some point. "Near San Diego, I think."
She watched me for a few seconds, and I realized that this woman, whoever she was, had a shrewd sense about her--almost a Warden sense, perhaps. "You living rough?" she asked. "On the streets?"
"I get by."
"That's not what I asked."
"I lost my last apartment," I said. "My job went away. Not my fault."
She sipped her coffee, and finally said, "There's something about you, Laura. Something--special."
I didn't want, at this moment, to be special, not at all. I tried to think what I might have said or done that would create such an impression, but couldn't. Instead of letting that agitation show, however, I forced myself to seem encouraged. People always wanted to feel special, apart from their fellows. It was some
thing ingrained in human DNA, and my reaction seemed to please the woman, who smiled slightly in response. "Yes," she said. "Very special. What skills do you have?"
"Um ... I cook," I said. Laura Rose Larkin had been prepared with a specific set of things; I hoped no one would immediately ask me for proof. "And I'm good with the stuff nobody likes to do, washing, cleaning, that kind of thing."
"Not afraid of work?"
"No, just haven't had a lot of luck," I said. "Like a lot of people."
"Oh, I doubt you're like a lot of other people," she said. "Our job is to find the things that make you different, Laura. To bring out your gifts. Everyone has a gift. Pearl's taught us that."
Pearl's teachings were convenient for her, to say the least; she preyed on the human desire to become something more, something special, and slowly but surely warped that desire out of true, into her own tool.
But I nodded. "I want to learn," I said.
"And you've got nowhere else to go." I looked away, turning my empty cup in my hands. The woman reached out and patted me on the shoulder. "Nothing to be ashamed of," she said. "We get all kinds of people--people like me, who just aren't happy with the life that's supposed to be so great. We also get people who are lost and alone, even people who bring special skills because they believe in the cause. We're all unique, and we're all equal."
She said that, but I could sense from her that she didn't believe it, and never would; she believed that she was more important, and that sense of entitlement allowed her to speak to me as if I was a lost child that needed saving. No, I reminded myself. Laura Rose needs saving.
The part of me that was still stubbornly Cassiel didn't like it.
"So," she was saying, as she drained the last of her own coffee. "Here's what you do. You write down your name and social security number on the outside of the envelope, and take what's inside. We'll be back in touch."
She handed me a pen. I laboriously wrote Laura Rose Larkin and the number that I'd been given by the FBI, making sure that my handwriting was as bad as I could make it while still legible. She nodded, then took the pen back, and I shook out the contents of the envelope.
