“I love you, too.” After we make out for a few minutes, he lowers me so my feet are on the ground.
It takes a little while, but eventually, I do manage to pry myself away from him, head back over to the house where Zoe and Hamish are seated at the dining table with piles of empty cans of bourbon and coke surrounding them. I didn’t think I was gone long enough for them to have downed that many cans.
I walk over to the fridge, grab a can, and then take the seat closest to Zoe at the dining room table.
“That Tristan is sex on a fucking stick.” Zoe is definitely on the fast track to being wasted.
I laugh at her. “I already knew that.” I then turn my attention to Hamish. “What do you think of him?” I ask as I crack my can and take a long sip.
He holds up his own. “He’s a good guy, Cassie. I’m glad you’ve found someone that loves you the way you should be loved. He’s got my stamp of approval.” I raise my can in cheers.
“That’s all I needed to know.”
An hour later, I'm buzzed and laughing, but also ready for bed, so I set Hamish up on the couch for the night. “If there's anything you need, just holler.”
Haim jumps so he lands flat on his back on the sofa with his feet up and hands behind his head. “I think I’m all good, Cass. You should get some sleep so you don’t look like Shazza from Housos in the morning.” I lean down and punch him in the arm.
“Ouch, that hurt.” His hand reaches up, and he rubs the spot I hit, there will be a bruise in the morning.
Reluctantly, I lean in and hug him goodnight and help Zoe take her bags through to the bedroom. The moment we’re changed into our pajamas, we lay in bed facing one another. “So, when are you going to tell me how bad things truly are back home?”
She shakes her head. “I’m here for your wedding, Cassie. I don’t want to be the one to put a dampener on your day.”
I roll my eyes. I can’t believe this woman. She’s always been there for me, sure she couldn’t be there for my dad’s funeral, but shit, I was on the other side of the world. This girl constantly called me to check-in. I want to return the favor, and she deserves it. “Just tell me.” I breathe in exasperation. “One way or another, I’m going to find out. I could just hop out of bed and demand an answer from Hamish. You, of all people, should know what alcohol can do to him.” I stare at her, she knows damn well what I’m talking about. Hamish is your typical Elaine from Seinfeld. He’ll keep your secrets in the vault, but the combination to open that vault is a simple one. Bourbon. “You know he’ll spill his guts, so it’s either you that tells me, or him.” I point toward the door with my eyebrow raised.
As I pull the cover off and begin to sit up, Zoe catches my arm and pulls me back down. “So, are you going to tell me?” I ask.
“Fine.” She turns away from me and lays on her back, staring at the ceiling. “This is going to sound awful, but I couldn’t wait to get out of Melbourne. My life has gone to shit since the accident. I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know if I still want to live with him, but there isn’t much I can do about it at the moment. I can't leave Annette to cope on her own.”
I take her hand and entwine my fingers with hers. “How are Annette and Jimmy coping?”
Zoe lets go of a breath she was holding in. “Annette has put everything on hold just so she can care for Jimmy. Because of the equipment they had to have put in the house, you know, ramps for wheelchair access, bars in the bathroom so she can help bathe him, and then there’s the hospital bed that’s in the living room.” Zoe shuffles back until she's resting up against the headboard. “Cass, Annette’s almost out of money. She’s used most of Mark’s life insurance to bring Jimmy home, instead of leaving him in the rehab facility. I have never in my life seen Annette so frazzled. The moment that money runs out, she won’t be able to afford for the nurse to come out to the house.” She reaches up and wipes away her tears and faces me. “She needs that nurse, Cass. Without that night nurse, she wouldn’t get any rest, and she's already on the cusp of a nervous breakdown. I’m apprehensive about her, but I have no idea what I can do to help any more than I have been.”
I move closer and pull her into my embrace. “I’m so sorry, Zoe. I should have been there for you. I should have asked you more questions because if I did, I might have been able to get this shit out of you sooner. Have you been to see a counselor? It might help.”
She pulls away and rests her back up against the headboard. “Your father was dying, Cass. My problems weren’t something I wanted to burden you with.” She shakes her head. “I don’t want to talk to a stranger. I wouldn’t feel comfortable.”
My heart aches for her. First, the love of her life is in a debilitating car accident, then her father-in-law dies in front of her, and then while trying to care for Jimmy, she gets treated like shit. “Zoe, you need to talk to someone, if not a professional, then someone you feel comfortable with. Wedding or not, I am here to help, and I want you to let your guard down and let your walls down because it isn’t good for you to keep it in.”
She nods in agreement. “Okay.” She then goes on to tell me everything that has happened over the last few months. How Jimmy’s been verbally and emotionally abusing her, and that she’s worried Annette is going to snap and smother him with a pillow if he doesn’t stop being a douchebag.
The asshole doesn’t appreciate a fucking thing either of them is doing for him. Sure, I get that it’s degrading having someone change your adult diaper, but fuck, only someone who truly loves you would do it without complaint. Zoe then tells me that Annette desperately wanted to come this weekend, but because of the cash flow problem, she just couldn’t afford to pay someone to come in and care for Jimmy so she could leave. I wish I'd known it sooner, I would have arranged to have a nurse paid for and Annette on a private jet as a treat.
While she continues to speak, my brain starts ticking. I know it’s too late to hire someone to watch Jimmy so that Annette can attend the wedding, but I do want to go ahead and pay for a nurse to stay with Jimmy because Annette doesn't deserve to spend her life tenting to someone that doesn't appreciate her. Son or not. But I need to discuss it with Tristan first.
I know what you’re thinking, ‘Why should she ask permission?’ It’s not that I’m going to him to ask permission, I just feel that we're going to be husband and wife and a nurse will be a huge expense, so it should be discussed.
“I’m not going to say I’m not sad, because I am. I would have loved to have her here, Annette has always played such a huge role in my life, but I completely understand why she couldn’t come.” I have never envisioned my wedding without Annette, Mark, my father, or Jimmy, but it's a pill I have to swallow. I won't let it bring me down, not when I'm marrying the perfect man. The man that makes me feel complete.
Soon enough, Zoe lies down, and I follow suit. We’re both on our sides, facing each other. “I told Annette you’d feel that way. I don’t want to come across as a heartless bitch, but I’m so fucking grateful for the break. I needed to get away from there.” She closes her eyes for a few moments while she takes a breath. “All day, every fucking day, I have to pretend to be happy for Jimmy’s benefit, not that he’s trying to make things jolly, the miserable bastard. I want my Jimmy back. I want the Jimmy I fell in love with, the one that had a fun-loving spirit that would always lead us to trouble, back.” Sniff. “I don’t know how much longer I can deal with all of the shit in my life.”
I shuffle closer to Zoe and take her in my arms. “I can’t lay here and say it will happen. I can’t tell you that one day he will miraculously wake up and be his old self. I’ve tried to contact Jimmy a tonne of times, but he won’t take my calls. I just wanted to be there with him in some way, shape, or form. When I lost my dad, I had some warning, but it didn’t hurt any less. I could never even begin to imagine how heartbreaking it was for him to wake up after being in a horrific car accident, to have your body crushed, then be told that your father died because he did
n’t know if his only son would live. I think, well, I hope I know him well enough to say with full confidence that Jimmy is feeling guilty. He thinks he caused Mark’s death, and that nothing anyone else says or does, is going to change his mind.” I can hear Zoe’s sobs soften as she catches her breath. “Be patient with him. But.” I raise her chin so that she's looking into my eyes. “Do not let him bring you down. If you feel you need to leave him for self-preservation, then I’ll have your back one hundred percent.” I squeeze her a little tighter.
“Thanks, Cassie. I always knew you’d have my back. No matter what’s going on in your life, you still care. I’m such a shitty friend to you. I wasn’t even there for you when you broke up with Mitchell. I could have called you more, not to mention the fact that at the same time, your dad was dying.” She wipes her eyes, then sits up with her legs crossed under her.
I mimic her movements. “You’re such a tool sometimes.” I laugh.
She shakes her head. “Yes, I am,” she agrees. “Hey, you haven’t even asked me what’s happening with Mitchell. Do you want the gossip? Or do you not care?” She gives me a sideways glance.
I shrug my shoulders. After all of the shit that asshole had put me through, I’m not sure I care enough to hear it. But I have to admit. I'm a little intrigued. “Shoot,” I tell her.
I can see she’s perking up. “Okay, so, Haim filled me in on what happened that night you were in Melbourne, you know, the night you had dinner, and Mitchell was waiting for you back at Hamish’s house.” She is positively giddy.
I nod. “How could I forget.” I wish I’d never seen him again. How could he think I would marry for money? It told me that he had no idea who I was, or what I stand for.
“Okay.” She claps her hands excitedly. “So, after you told Mitchell you were getting married, he did the same thing he did after you left. He hid out at his house, he didn’t go to work, and the boys told me that when he did go to hang out with them, he did nothing but drive them crazy.
Eventually, Hamish told him to fuck off and not to come back until he’d sorted his shit out. Haim also said that Mitchell should have given a fuck about you when you were together and that he was too late. He told him that if he for once cared about someone other than himself, that maybe, just maybe, you’d still be with him.”
I shouldn’t smile, but I am. “Remind me to thank Haim for what he said.” It couldn’t have been easy for Hamish. He was stuck in the middle for so long. At one stage, I was petrified I would lose him, but thankfully, he's still my friend. I couldn’t imagine the heartache I would’ve felt if he'd taken sides. “So, what happened next?” I ask.
There's that giddy look again. “Okay, so a couple of weeks later, Mitchell resurfaced and acted as if nothing had happened. His only request was that your name not be mentioned in his presence.” She rolls her eyes. “I know, how pathetic and juvenile is that?”
I look down at my nails as a distraction. “He was such an asshole to me on so many occasions. When I look back on our relationship, I now know it never really was one, to begin with. To be honest with you, I wouldn’t have a clue what you would call it.” I look back up at her. “Did anyone ever tell you what Mitchell said to me that night I dropped Hamish off?” I’m annoyed at the thought.
Zoe shakes her head. “No, what did the moron say to you?”
I laugh at her choice of words. “He said, ‘That explains the car then.’” My blood boils at the memory. “He was saying I was only marrying Tristan for his money, and that I wouldn’t have been able to buy a car like the BMW for myself.” I’m now seething with anger.
Her eyebrows bunch together. “But didn’t your dad buy you that car?”
“Yep. Well, Dad and George both put in for it.” I take a breath because the thought of Mitchell thinking so little of me pisses me off. I shake my head to rid myself of any negative thoughts. “Anyway, on my way back to the hotel, I called Tristan and explained what had happened, and the next day, he was at my hotel room door comforting me.” I smile to myself. “I don’t know what the fuck I would have done without him.”
Zoe lets out a huge yawn. “He is so freaking cute. You have a good man, Cassie.”
“I know I do.” I turn my head to check the time. “Shit, Zoe. It’s almost one in the morning. I think we’d better get some sleep so we don’t look like the walking dead in the wedding photos.” I chuckle.
Zoe leans forward and hugs me. “I think you’re right.” She lets go of me, we lay our heads down on the pillows, and within five minutes, Zoe is snoring her little head off while I am gazing up at a very dark ceiling.
“Are you still awake, love?” I hear my father ask.
“Yeah, Dad,” I whisper. “Did you want to talk to me?” I ask.
“Only if you’re not too tired. I’ve been waiting for Miss chatty over there to fall asleep.” He laughs. I can’t see him in the dark properly, but I know he's pointing his finger toward Zoe.
Slowly, I climb out of bed, careful not to wake her. I stay silent and up on my tippy toes until I’ve passed Hamish, who is asleep on the sofa, and I make sure I open the back door very slowly because if I don’t, that damn thing squeaks like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz.
Once clear, I take a seat in one of the chairs out on the back patio and dad takes the one opposite to me. I’m so thrilled he's come to see me tonight, I probably would have been devastated if I hadn’t had a chance to talk to him before tomorrow. “So love, are you ready for your wedding?” he asks.
When I gaze up at my father, I can see the sadness in his eyes. “I’m more than ready, Dad. I have no reservations, whatsoever; I know Tristan is the one.” I love Tristan with all of my heart. I know that he has a sordid past, but deep down, I do know that the past is the past and that he will never let anyone get between us.
Dad stands and moves to the chair closest to me. “I know the two of you will be happy together.” He leans across the armrest and takes my hand. “I’m so sorry I won’t be the one to give you away.” His eyes are now filled with tears. “I love you, sweetheart.”
My breath hitches as my tears fall. “I love you too, Dad.” With my free hand, I try to fan the tears away, but it's to no avail. I knew he’d feel guilty about not being able to give me away, but I can’t sit here and let him wallow in self-pity over something that can’t be helped. “Dad, please don’t let this get to you. I hope you’ll be there with us, but don’t let yourself get taken away by the fact that you’re dead and can’t walk me down the aisle. Granddad will be there for me, he’s not you, but he is a very close second.” As my tears continue to fall, I lean across and kiss my dad on the cheek.
Suddenly, he stands and pulls me up by my hands, and into his warm embrace. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, that’s not what I came here to do.” He leans back so he can face me. “I know I can’t be there in the flesh, but I will be there to see you marry a wonderful man. A man that will take care of you and will love you for the rest of your life.” His tears spill over and down his cheeks.
Fucking great, here come the waterworks. “I promise you I will look back on my wedding day as being the best day of my life. And I already know that my life is just going to keep getting better and better.” I let go of him so I can wipe away my tears with the back of my hands.
His smile is broad and full of pride. A look I have never received from my mother, and never will. “That’s my girl.” He reaches up and wipes away a tear I'd missed. “Now, on another note, I have to ask.” He says his face full of curiosity.
I give him a sideways glance. You never know what will come out of my dad’s mouth, it doesn’t matter what the circumstance is. “Yeah, what do you want to know?”
“What is with the huge bikey celebrant you have performing the ceremony?” He laughs.
It’s my turn to chuckle. “Maddog’s an awesome guy, dad. I didn’t want some crusty old man or chick performing the service. Maddog will have all the guests in fits of laughter. If you were stil
l with us, I know the two of you would be the best of friends.” I tease.
I searched the internet for days looking for the perfect celebrant. We interviewed nine of the most boring people on the face of the freaking planet before coming across a picture of Maddog, on his Facebook page. I fell in love with him immediately. He’s a foul-mouthed sweetheart. I couldn’t imagine having someone else perform the ceremony, and he came highly recommended.
“I’m glad you found someone both you and Tristan are comfortable with.” He places his hands on my shoulders, his eyes are on mine. “Your wedding is only a few hours away now. You really should go and get some sleep. And don’t you worry about a thing, I’ll be with you all the way. Okay?”
I nod. “Thanks, dad. I guess I’ll see you in a few hours.” I give him a quick kiss on the cheek, and very quietly slip back into bed. This time, I don’t lay staring at the ceiling. I just close my eyes and drift peacefully off to sleep.
Chapter Sixteen
“Wakey, Wakey.” With my eyes closed, I feel a gentle tug on my arm. Slowly, I open them, and immediately, I see Zoe and Courtney, standing over me, their smiles bigger than Jack Nicholson’s when he played The Joker in Batman.
I stretch my arms up over my head. “Morning ladies. Before I do any-” Zoe interrupts before I can finish.
“The kettle’s already on,” she tells me with her hand held out. I take it, and I let her help me up. I'm so glad my dad popped in last night for a heart-to-heart, but fuck am I tired today.
“Have I told you how much I love you, lately?” I ask as I slip into my dressing gown and slippers.
“Of course, but I didn’t put the kettle on for your benefit.”
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