by Kitt Rose
His hand stroked my cheek. “I’m a little drunk.”
“No shit.” I giggled.
“Holy shit, you swore.”
We both laughed.
My heart felt so light I thought it might burst from my chest to float up to the heavens.
He rubbed his nose on mine. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”
Everything around me stilled, and I blinked. “Did you just say…”
“That I loved you? Yeah.”
My heart contracted in the best sort of pain imaginable.
“Yeah. I love you.”
“Dennis, I…”
He pressed a finger to my lips. “It’s okay. I don’t expect you to say it back to me. I know you’re not ready. I just want you to know why it’s ridiculous for you to worry about other chicks. I don’t want them. I want you. I want you in my bed. I want you next to me whenever I can get you. Hell, I want you to meet my parents.” He must have seen the panic in my eyes because he laughed. “But we don’t have to do that right away. I’m just trying to get you to see how I feel about you. You are so fucking amazing.”
I shook my head. “Dennis, you are way too sweet. Maybe a little delusional, but sweet. I care about you too. A lot. And except for the parents part, I want that too. Being with you makes me happy.”
He kissed me sweetly and gathered me even closer. I felt his breathing even out and I opened my eyes, memorizing his face, trying to ignore the tiny bit of panic in my heart.
He loved me.
Was it possible that it was true and not just a drunken declaration? He didn’t seem that drunk. Still, I wouldn’t count on it. He cared about me. He was with me. That was what was important right now.
Still, I fell asleep happy.
Chapter Sixteen
Bare
Zirah
Sunday, November 15th
I woke too early. The faint blue glow of the clock told me it was barely seven. My heart raced in my chest as a nightmare lingered. A faceless man and his cigarette taunted me even with my eyes open. I could only assume he was responsible for the small round burns on my body, though I don’t remember any of those.
Knowing I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, I slipped out of bed. I snagged one of Dennis’s shirts and padded into the living room. Even if I knew how to operate his entertainment system, watching television didn’t appeal to me. Instead, I found a book in his collection that looked interesting and started reading.
The story sucked me in and I devoured a few chapters before I felt eyes on me. I looked up. Dennis stood in the doorway. He wore nothing but a pair of gray boxers, and his hair hung in a long, perfect, shiny sheet. A soft smile curved his lips and he reached up and stretched. Fascinated by the play of warm skin over lean muscle, I set the book down and watched. My gaze traveled down his chest to the light smattering of hair that started just above the waistband of his boxers and disappeared inside. The tattoo that covered his abdomen stretched and flexed with his movements.
Gosh, he was beautiful.
“I feel like eye candy,” he said in a gruff voice.
I jerked my eyes up as amusement lit his face.
“You look like eye candy to me,” I said.
Dennis closed the distance and dropped onto the couch next to me. He pulled me onto his lap, one knee on either side of his legs. Warm breath washed over my face, minty and clean.
Realizing I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet, I tried to pull away. “Let me go freshen up.”
His arms tightened around me, a hand sliding down my back to cup my bare butt. “Nope.” He kissed me along my jaw up to my ear. “You taste perfect.”
I doubted that, but no one could fault Dennis for his sweetness. I relented and grabbed him by the ears, pulling his lips to mine as I lost myself in him.
Cool air touched my back and the soft cotton of my borrowed shirt slid up. I broke the kiss as Dennis tugged the t-shirt over my head and tossed it aside. With a singular focus, his lips followed my collarbone from the outside edge to the inside, then trailed down the swell of my breast. He kissed me there, using his teeth to scrape over the skin.
I threaded my fingers through his hair as he started inward, drawing my nipple into his mouth. I arched into him and squirmed in his lap. With just one thin layer of cotton separating us, I felt everything. And he was hard.
Maneuvering a hand between us, I freed him from his boxers, settling back over him. He nestled against me, the length of him sweet torment. So close to where I wanted him…
He groaned. “Fuck. You’re so wet. You want me, baby?”
Oh, I liked that, baby. I’d heard Ty call Joey that a few times and it was so sweet. “Yes, Dennis. I want you. I want to feel you deep inside me.”
He grunted and his teeth teased my earlobe as he thrust his hips against me, sliding against me. A shudder racked me. I clenched his shoulders, shifting my hip and searching for the perfect spot.
And then it happened. While we undulated against each other, I tipped my hips at the exact moment he thrust. And suddenly he was inside me. Bare.
I moaned loudly. This felt different. Good different.
“Shit. I need a condom. Damn it.” Dennis squeezed his eyes shut, a pained expression on his face.
I didn’t think he was even aware what he was doing, but his hips moved in slow circles. It felt so damn good. Growing up the way I had, I knew all about the dangers of unprotected sex. We’d had the conversation about diseases early on, so I knew he was clean. And I was covered on my end. A condom would be safer, but I wanted to give this to him. I wanted to feel everything. Ninety-nine percent protected was good enough for me. So I moved over him.
His hands clamped down on my hips. “Baby,” he said, voice strained.
I looked into his dark eyes. “I’ve been on birth control since I … since getting pregnant was a possibility. I mean, not that I was having sex. You know I wasn’t. But you know how I grew up. So I’m covered on my end and we’re both clean, so, yeah. We don’t need the condom.”
Dennis’s mouth worked but nothing came out. He remained frozen, so I took advantage. I rose over him, letting myself slide down his length slowly, savoring the feel of him. His hand spasmed, fingers digging into my hips. He unfroze, his mouth coming down hot and hard on mine.
We were both gasping for breath when he released my mouth.
“You feel so fucking good, Z. So wet. So warm. So tight. Damn.” He gritted his teeth and thrust up into me.
I threw my head back and moaned his name. And then I was in the air and he was moving, laying me onto my back on the couch. His hair fell around us in a curtain that smelled of incense.
One hand rose to my jaw, caressing my face. The look in his eyes as he thrust into me was so tender. Something in my heart shifted toward him, wanting more of what shone from his gaze.
Overwhelmed, I squeezed my eyes shut. My breath came in heavy puffs as pleasure coiled tighter and tighter inside me. I hung on the precipice when his thrusts gentled and slowed. The rhythm changed and suddenly, everything felt different.
“Zirah, baby. Open your eyes. Look at me,” he whispered.
I brought my eyes to his as the beginnings of an orgasm curled through my belly. “Dennis.” His name was a plea.
“Zirah, I love you.”
My breath caught.
“I didn’t want you to think I only said it because I was drunk. It’s not the way I wanted to tell you, but that doesn’t change that it’s true.”
His eyes held mine, incredible tenderness and warmth in his gaze. A different kind of heat exploded inside me and my orgasm rushed over me. I breathed his name as my muscles clenched and shook, swimming in emotion and sensation.
Dennis’s jaw locked, and his nostrils flared. He groaned, his mouth meeting mine in a searing kiss, so tender and loving that tears gathered. Wrapping him tight, my legs and arms squeezed him to me as he buried himself in my body and let go.
He shuddered, hips circling and
drawing out aftershocks of sensation. Sweat slicked his back and I traced his spine, feeling him tremble under my touch. Dennis kissed my temple, nuzzling my hair.
“I love you, Z.”
My eyes squeezed shut, warm wetness trickling into my hair. I sucked in a lungful of air, trying to control the emotion. I couldn’t start blubbering like a baby. He’d never say those words again if I did. And I very much wanted to hear him say it. Over and over again.
Never before had I felt cherished. But with Dennis, I did. He’d bared his soul to me. And that was a heady feeling.
We lay tangled up together until my butt fell asleep. I was reluctant to spoil the moment, but pins and needles dug into my muscles.
“Dennis, I need to move,” I whispered.
“Oh. Sorry, baby.” Without withdrawing from me, he shifted us so I was on top of him. “That better?”
“Yes. I need to tell you something.”
He opened his dark eyes, focusing on me.
“I don’t know what this is that I feel for you, but it’s really intense and kind of scares me. It could be love but I’m not ready to put that name on it. But it’s only fair to tell you that I have never felt this way. I get butterflies when I’m around you, when I think about you. You are so beautiful. Inside and out.” I cupped his cheeks, smoothing my thumb along his cheekbone and running up to his temple. I felt a flash of the surreal.
How was this beautiful, confident, amazing man mine? I shook my head and kissed him.
Later in the day, we headed to Ink’d. I was getting my first tattoo today. Dennis had suggested I start with something small. I’d decided to cover the tops of my thighs. Dennis designed a tattoo that flowed from one thigh to the other. At first glance, it looked like a ribbon, curling and flowing across my legs. But when you looked closer, you saw it was a music staff. He’d taken the notes from my favorite part of my favorite concerto and turned it into something amazing. Today, I was letting him put it on me.
Because the tattoo would cover up to the very tops of my thighs Dennis took me into one of the two private rooms at the back of the shop, closing the curtain behind us. I’d worn a dress to make this easier and pulled it up and tucked the ends of the skirt into the belt. He helped me get settled into the chair that reminded me so much of visiting the dentist.
He made the stencil that he said would be his guide. Then it got awkward. My boyfriend had to shave my legs. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore how weird that felt. But once he was done and the stencil was on my skin… He took me to a mirror and made me look at it from every angle. My heart pounded in my chest, fast and excited, and I nodded. Needing something to ground me, I fisted his shirt and yanked his mouth to mine. The kiss took him by surprise, but it wasn’t long before he was kissing me back just as passionately.
Using a hand on either shoulder, he forced me back a step. “Yeah, keep doing that and I won’t be able to concentrate.” His half-smile was teasing as he led me back to the chair.
The sound of the tattoo machine startled me. Strangely loud in the small space. Dennis placed a large, warm hand on my thigh, his touch grounding and steadying me.
“It’s very important that you hold still. If you need a break, you tell me and we can stop so you can adjust, itch, whatever. I will do a test line here to give you an idea of what it’ll feel like. This isn’t a bony area so it won’t be too painful, but it will hurt a little. But it kind of feels—”
I held up my hand, stopping him. “I get that you’re preparing me, but keep going on about how much it’s going to hurt and I’m going to chicken out. You’re putting a needle into my skin. I get it’s not going to tickle.”
Dennis chuckled and shook his head at me. He’d pulled his hair back into a low ponytail and donned black gloves. I watched, fascinated as he started. I winced with the machine touched my skin, but more out of reflex than true pain. He made a short line in my skin and it amazed me at how little that hurt.
When he pulled the machine from my skin, he glanced up to see how I was doing. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Um, that didn’t hurt. Like at all.” I was pleased.
“That’s good. You must have a high pain threshold but be warned not every spot will be like that.”
I nodded. “I’m good.”
And I was. I watched him through the entire process. Watching the design take shape in my skin, covering the scars of my past, amazed me. I wasn’t fond of blood but mixed in with the ink, it wasn’t so bad.
We were there for hours. In fact, I was surprised by how much time had passed when he finally declared he was done. He cleaned it up, smeared it with the same stuff I used to put on my nieces’ and nephews’ diaper rash, and then took me to the mirror.
I couldn’t stop the tears. The tattoo was so beautiful. The design hid everything. You couldn’t even see the scars. The old marks blended with the lines of music, giving them depth. When I turned to face him, I was crying. I couldn’t stop myself.
His expression shifted to one of concern and he cradled my face in his hands. “Hey. What’s wrong? Do you not like it?”
I could see the worry was about me, not his pride. I shook my head. “Thank you, Dennis. I can never repay you for this. It’s amazing. Beautiful.”
“You’re amazing. I’m glad I could do this for you. It was a little bit of torture sitting there with your pussy in my face, but…”
I blushed bright red. “Don’t call it that.”
He looked amused at my discomfort.
“That word just makes me uncomfortable. It feels … dirty. Cheap.”
He tapped my forehead with his finger. “That’s all up here, babe. You aren’t dirty and you sure as hell aren’t cheap. But if it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t use it.”
“Thanks.” I gave him a crooked smile as he bandaged my legs.
Chapter Seventeen
Love
Zirah
Tuesday, December 8th
I woke up in a cold sweat, heart pounding. Dennis’s arm was a heavy, comforting weight over my chest. The man sure liked to cuddle. He’d thrown one of his legs over my thighs, and his breath washed over my shoulder, deep and heavy. Not wanting to wake him, I carefully extricated myself from his limbs and slid out of bed.
My nightmares were getting worse. I wasn’t sure why, but when Andy had left to go back home two weeks ago, they just kind of reverted to how they’d been when I was a teenager.
Dennis stirred as I slipped on one of his shirts. “Wha?”
“Shh. Go back to sleep.” I leaned over and pushed his hair back from his face.
Blinking rapidly, he rolled onto his side and propped himself up, groggy. “Another nightmare?”
I nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, baby. I hate that you’re having them. Think you can get back to sleep?”
I shook my head and he climbed out of bed. “Let’s have some breakfast then.”
“Dennis, you can go back to sleep. I’ll just go read so I don’t bother you. I didn’t want to wake you.”
“I know. But I wish you would wake me. I want to be there for you.”
I climbed onto the bed on my knees and leaned over to kiss him, so grateful for him. His hand slipped into my hair at the base of my skull and he pulled me down to the mattress, rolling over me, settling between my legs.
He rocked against me slowly, almost testing me as though to make sure I was okay with the change of plans. It was more than okay, but I wanted to talk to him. I’d gotten over late last night after inventory at the pharmacy and we’d gone straight to bed. We both had the day off and I had every intention of spending as much of it as I could with him, but I wanted to start the day off on the right foot.
I grabbed his face, pushing him back enough that I could meet his dark eyes. “You awake?”
He flexed his hips, pressing his hard length against where I was warm and willing. “What do you think?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
“I need to talk t
o you first.”
He pulled back and stilled. “Sounds serious.”
“Sorta. I mean, yeah. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. About you. About how I feel about everything.” My gaze bounced between his eyes. His expression was uncertain and serious.
Blood thundered in my ears as my heart pounded. I struggled to slow my panting breath. This was so hard. It shouldn’t be, but it was. “I love you. I’m in love with you, Dennis.”
Dennis’s eyes widened, his face going soft and warm. “I love you too, Zirah.”
He kissed me and slowly pushed inside me inch by inch, connecting us in the most physically significant way possible. He just held there, his eyes never leaving mine. And then he moved.
He made love to me slowly, with an intensity that was new and frighteningly raw. I had laid myself bare to him and I was so glad. If this was my reward, he was my reward… It was worth every risk because he was worth it.
Afterward, we lay together, holding hands on our backs, watching the light grow on his ceiling, talking about whatever came to mind. Conversation with him was so comfortable. Being with him felt like coming home.
Once it was a decent hour, Dennis took me driving. I’d gotten my learner’s permit last week and had yet to use it. He took me to the city’s minor league baseball field and turned me loose in the parking lot. There wasn’t anything to hit in the large lot, so I wasn’t terribly nervous. At first, I was timid and then heavy-footed with the gas pedal. I nearly gave us whiplash when I stopped too. But after a few turns around the lot, a lot of stopping and starting, I got the hang of it. Still, when he suggested I drive us back to his house, I refused. He seemed disappointed but when my hand landed on his thigh, up high, his disappointment morphed into excitement. I caressed him through his pants before unzipping him.
“Z. It’s daylight.” There was no real disapproval in his voice, more like awe.
“I know. Your windows are tinted, so unless someone really looks, no one will see.” I giggled when his hands tightened on the wheel as I stroked him. “If I didn’t think it was so dangerous, I’d put my mouth on you right now.”
