by Holly Renee
“Cami doesn’t give a shit about me.” He tried to push his way between my knees to get closer to me, but I boxed him out.
Beck was already close enough. I couldn’t think straight as it was, and every inch closer he got to me fucked with my head a little bit more. I needed to put distance between us. I needed to get away from him.
“She says differently.”
“Did she also say my dad was sick?” His fingers dug into my skin. “No?” He chuckled, but I had no idea what he was talking about.
I shook my head softly. “I don’t know…”
“Exactly. She didn’t tell you because she doesn’t know. Cami doesn’t care about anything other than her reputation.”
“I don’t understand.” He was talking in circles. I knew that they were supposedly unsteady, but this felt like more.
“Cami uses me, Josie, and I use her.”
I tensed as the words passed his lips. I didn’t want to think about either one of them using each other. The thought made my chest feel tight and made the urge to run away pump through every part of me.
“So, what? It’s just sex?”
He searched my face, and I tried to hide my reaction. I couldn’t protect my heart from Beck Clermont if I let him know every one of my secrets. He needed to know that I was unaffected by him and Cami. I needed to make him believe that I didn’t care.
“No.” He shook his head. “I mean, yes, there has been sex.”
I looked away from him because I felt like I was going to snap. There was something inside of me that was pulled so tightly in so many directions, and I felt like another single word from his lips could make it all shatter apart.
“But that’s not what it’s about.”
I bit down on my lip and looked up at the night sky. The stars were so bright that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed them before. But I had been too busy looking at him to even worry about looking up.
“Cami’s fucked up.”
I jerked as I listened to him say that about her, but he tightened his hands on my thighs to keep me still.
“Her parents have expectations of her that she will never fulfil. They have pushed her for her entire life, and she’s beyond her breaking point.”
“So what?” I finally looked back at him. “You cheating on her is supposed to help?”
“You don’t understand.” He bit down on his bottom lip, and I knew that he was struggling with what to say to me. I didn’t know if it was because it hurt him somehow or because he was simply coming up with the lies as he went. “Cami’s sleeping with Mr. Weston.”
“The art teacher?” I said it so loud I was sure someone was going to know we were here.
“Yes. The art teacher. She’s been sleeping with him since we were sophomores.”
“I don’t understand.” I didn’t understand anything he was saying. If Cami was sleeping with someone else, why would he still be dating her? Why would he act like he was completely unaffected by her betrayal?
“Nobody knows, Josie.” His eyes were a little wild, and I knew he wasn’t supposed to be telling me this. For whatever reason, this was Cami’s secret that he was willing to keep. “Cami and I are a couple in pretense only. She’s in love with a man who’s twice her age and married, and I help her keep her secret because Cami has been there for me. As fucked up as that is, Cami doesn’t deserve any other bad things in her life.”
“So, she fucks a married man and you’re her boy toy on the side? That doesn’t sound like love.” I was beginning to hate Cami. I had resented her before, knowing she had Beck, that he was hers, but now it felt different. I was judging her for something I couldn’t understand.
He pressed his fingers into my chin and lifted my face to look at him. “Cami was there for Frankie when no one else was. Cami’s not bad.”
I shook my head because that still didn’t make sense. What did Frankie have to do with anything?
“Cami’s in love with a man who has preyed on her weakness. She’s obsessed over him, and he goes home and fucks his wife. I know that doesn’t make it right, but I don’t know how to help her. This is the only way I know how.”
“So, she uses you so no one suspects a thing, and you get what? Are you just the hero here?”
“I’m not a fucking hero, Josie.” He cupped some water in his hand and let it fall over my knee. “No one suspects anything of her, and I get to do as I please with no expectations.”
Realization finally hit me. “You get to fuck whoever you want with no attachments.”
He winced but didn’t deny a thing. “I told you I wasn’t a hero. Cami and I have been the ‘it’ couple at Prep since we really were dating. We didn’t see why we should end a good thing when we could both still get what we wanted.”
“You are so fucked up.” I pushed up to stand, but this time he gripped my hips and pulled me down into the water with him. I slapped at his shoulder and brought my knees into his stomach as the cool water hit mine. “Let me go, Beck.”
I was so angry, and I wanted him away from me. He had touched me, had brought my body to orgasm, and he expected me to just sit here and be okay with what he was telling me.
I was one of the girls who was supposed to have no expectations.
I was as dispensable as the rest.
“I can’t.” He ran his nose up my neck while I was trying everything in my power to get away from him. His hands were clinging to me and forcing me against him, and every part of me wanted to melt against his body.
Even though I hated everything he had just said, I still somehow didn’t want him to let me go. I pushed against him, begging him to stop, but my heart raced for more.
I knew how fucked up that was. I knew how insane that made me.
But I couldn’t stop it.
He kissed the spot where my soaked t-shirt met my neck and I let out the tiniest whimper. He didn’t need any more encouragement. Gripping my thighs in his hands, he lifted me and forced them apart as if he couldn’t stand another moment away from me.
And I let him.
I let him press against my center, and I didn’t say a word as his tongue ran along the length of my neck.
I would deal with the consequences tomorrow. I had known Beck was a bad idea from the beginning, and he was becoming more and more of a mistake the longer I got to know him.
He had made it clear to me that he wasn’t the hero, but I had still wanted him to be. I wanted him to be more than what he showed everyone else, more than what he showed me, but I was a fool.
I was as stupid as I had just judged Cami for. I was falling for a guy who was as available to me as Cami’s affair was to her.
Both of us knew that it wouldn’t end well, but it didn’t stop us from falling. Beck was a risk I had been willing to take. He was a risk I knew would destroy me in the end, but I couldn’t see that far ahead.
All I could see was him and the way he was looking at me like I was the only thing he needed.
I tightened my legs around his waist and pulled him even closer to me. I wanted to feel him everywhere. I wanted to know that I wasn’t just imagining this in my head. I wanted to see him burn for me like I was burning for him.
Because right now, I felt like nothing could stop the searing want inside of me. I had never felt like this before, not even a fraction of this need, and I wanted him to feel it too. I needed him to.
Because he may have thought I was another girl who was nothing to him, but I couldn’t believe that. Not at this moment.
Tomorrow, I would clear my head, and I would face the facts head-on.
But tonight?
Tonight, I just wanted to pretend like I wasn’t the girl whose entire life had been ruined the moment my mother had left me. I wanted to pretend that I didn’t hate everything except for him. I was just a girl who needed him, and he wasn’t the guy who was going to ruin me.
I could forget that he wasn’t the hero for a little bit longer.
His mouth met mine, and
I didn’t hold back. I could taste the alcohol on his tongue when it met mine, but I didn’t care.
I let him devour my mouth, and I used my legs to push myself against him over and over again. There was barely anything between us, but it still felt like too much.
I gripped the edge of my t-shirt and struggled to pull it over my head. Beck laughed as he helped me, and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing with him.
I managed to rip it over my head, and it landed in the water with a loud plop. My simple white bra was practically see-through from the water, and I forced myself not to cover a single inch as he looked his fill.
I had never been checked out so brazenly by a man, and it made me feel crazy. His eyes roaming over my skin made me feel like I was perfect even though I knew that to be so far from the truth.
He lowered his head and pressed his mouth to the swell of my breast. “You are so beautiful.” He didn’t wait for any reply. He moved to the next breast and pressed his lips there before swiping his tongue beneath the fabric. I felt that move straight to my core.
My hips jolted against his, and I wanted to beg him for more. I wanted to tell him to do whatever he wanted with me.
My back slammed into the pool wall, and I hadn’t even realized we were moving. His hips pushed into mine, harder than before, and I moaned as I ran my fingers into his dark hair.
His hands found my ass, and he lifted me up. I tried to cling to him as he pushed me away from him, but Beck was in full control. He set me on the edge of the pool, and he slid his fingers into the sides of my panties.
I leaned back on my hands and lifted my hips as he pulled them off my ass and down my legs. I was fully exposed to him and the cool night air, the only thing between us was the thin fabric of my bra.
He was staring at me like he had never really seen me before, his gaze flicking over every inch of my skin as if he was trying to memorize it, and his eyes didn’t meet mine again until they reached the apex of my thighs.
He stared up at me as he pushed my legs apart, and the urge to cover myself was overwhelming. I had never been on display like this for anyone.
I had never allowed someone such intimate access to my body, and I knew that he didn’t deserve it.
I was giving that privilege to a man who wouldn’t appreciate it, but I still wanted it to be him. Every part of me was sure about that fact.
I wanted him to take whatever part of me he wanted, and I would deal with my regrets later.
Even if he was just a fucked-up boy who had no clue what he truly wanted.
I knew that I wanted him, and it was that simple for me.
“Touch yourself.”
My gaze snapped to him, and my thighs pushed against his hands. I didn’t know what I had expected from him, but it wasn’t that.
I didn’t want to touch myself. I wanted him to touch me. I needed him to touch me.
“What?” My voice was shaky and so unsure. I had touched myself plenty of times in the darkness of my bedroom, but never in front of someone. And never when I was on full display.
He gripped one of my hands in his and moved it to the front of my body. I watched him as he pressed my fingers against my sex. I was already so wet, and he pushed his middle finger over mine as he forced me to drag it through my folds until there wasn’t a single inch of me that wasn’t covered in my moisture.
My harsh breath rang out between us, and I could barely see straight as he moved my finger in small circles against my clit.
“Show me, Josie.” He dropped his hand from mine and pressed it back against my thigh. “Show me how you touch yourself when you think of me.”
Oh, God.
“Show me how you touched yourself that night I text you.”
Why did that sound so dirty? Why did that make my hand start to move like I was at home chasing my orgasm on my own? My fingers moved like I was chasing it for no one but him.
He stared down at my sex as I moved, and his chest heaved in and out with each breath. His hands pushed down on my thighs, widening me farther for him, and I dropped back on my elbow.
His fingers touched my pussy, causing a whimper to rip through me as he pushed inside my body. His hand moved much slower than mine, and I couldn’t stop myself as I moved my hips against him. I was chasing every sensation he would give me.
It all felt like too much but not nearly enough.
I was overwhelmed, but I needed more. He stared at me as he lowered his head and pressed a gentle kiss against me. My fingers trembled under his lips, but his found speed. They pushed in and out of me as his tongue snaked its way around my fingers and licked at my clit.
I jolted forward, shocked by the sensation and how good it felt. I had never had anyone touch me like this before. He sucked my clit into his mouth, and I gasped as my eyes rolled back in my head.
I arched my back, trying to force myself closer to him. Closer to the things his wicked mouth was doing.
He pushed my thighs toward me, opening them up to a point that seemed impossible, and I looked back down at him. He was staring at me as he ate me, and I had never seen anything so arousing in all my life.
I tried to breathe as we stared at each other, but it felt impossible. I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath or my racing heart or a single thought as they rushed through my mind.
Everything felt centered around where he was touching me. Every part of me focused on him.
His teeth grazed the sensitive skin around my clit before he sucked it back into his mouth, and I felt like he was going to wreck me. He was ravaging me in a way I didn’t even know existed. I had touched myself and been touched by others, but none of that felt like this. None of that made me feel like I wouldn’t recover when he was through with me.
“Beck, please.” I didn’t know what I was asking for, but he did. He seemed to know my body far better than I ever could.
He gripped my ass in his hands, and he lifted me up against his mouth. The only part of me touching the ground was my shoulders, but I felt like I needed to get higher.
He sucked my clit into his mouth hard, his fingers digging into my ass at the same time, and I fell apart around him. My thighs slammed shut around his head, and I tried to ride his face even though it all felt like too much.
I couldn’t think as my hips bucked and my eyes clenched shut. Every part of me felt like a live wire.
He pulled me down from the pool’s edge, and my body slid along his. Every part of him was hard against me, and I squirmed when I felt his hard erection against my stomach.
I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew that I wanted to make him feel like I had just felt. God, like I was still feeling.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his waist. His hard length pressed against the most sensitive part of me, and I tensed and bit down on my bottom lip.
I wasn’t sure I could handle another second of him touching me, but I felt greedy. My body was still reeling from moments before, but I still wanted more.
“You have no idea how gorgeous you are.” He ran his finger over my chin and pulled my lip from my teeth before taking it into his own mouth.
His words forced me to tighten my thighs around him. I had never been talked to like that. Not by anyone who didn’t have a biased opinion, and there was something about hearing it from his lips that made my chest feel tight with panic.
Those words felt too good coming from his lips. They felt like he was offering me something more. But I knew better than that.
I let him kiss me, and I forced my panic down with every swipe of his tongue.
I tightened one hand on his shoulder as I let the other move up his neck and into his hair. I gripped the silky locks in my fingers, and I tugged his head back to give me better access. He moaned into my mouth before I pulled away and pressed my lips to his sharp jaw.
I followed a path down to his neck, and I let my tongue snake out like his had on me. I tasted him, the edge of salt beneath the musky taste of his
body wash. He was addicting. Every single part of him, and I couldn’t stop myself as I continued to kiss my way down his neck and onto his chest.
I moved against him, my body already craving more of what he had to give, and I loved the way he groaned due to what I was doing to him.
I dropped my hand from his shoulder and worked it down his body until it rested between us. He still wore his boxers, but I could feel the length of him. My hand shook slightly as I slid it beneath his boxers and my skin met his.
He dropped his head to my shoulder and let out a shuddering breath at the contact. He was so smooth and so slick, and I moved my hand back and forth between us as I tried to touch every inch of him.
My hand moved from the base of his penis to the head, and I moaned as my fist slapped against my pussy with each stroke.
“God, Josie.” His breath rushed in and out against my neck, and I moved my hand just as quickly. Every time my hand hit me, I felt like I was going to break. I was still so sensitive, the feeling almost too much, but I couldn’t stop.
Feeling him against me like this made me feel powerful. I had him in my hand, his pleasure mine to give, and I wanted him to want me more than he had ever wanted anyone before.
I wasn’t a fool. If I hadn’t already known that Beck was far more experienced than me, the way he just mastered my body on the side of the pool hammered that fact in.
I knew that he had probably been with girls who knew what the hell they were doing. I was sure that Cami knew what she was doing, but that didn’t stop me.
I wasn’t Cami. I wanted him and only him, and I wanted to give him more pleasure than anyone ever had before.
His teeth sank into my neck as I worked him between us, and I cried out as I felt the move all the way to my core. Beck pushed his boxers down his legs before one of his hands wrapped around mine. He followed my movements until we hit the tip, his bare skin finally touching mine, and he stopped me there.
He forced my hand along with his as he rubbed his cock up and down my pussy. I tensed as he edged toward my opening. I didn’t know if I was ready for that. Not when he had been drinking, and I wasn’t thinking clearly.
